


Lost Stars

by MrsEclipse9856



Series: Lost Stars [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, F/M, Female James T. Kirk, Female Phil Boyce, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-04-21 02:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 89,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4811984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsEclipse9856/pseuds/MrsEclipse9856
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has been raised in and around Starfleet by her dad's academy buddy, Chris Pike, since she was four. Leonard lost his parents and his dad's star student, Doctor Pippa Boyce, was named his guardian in the will. The two kids are forced to interact and don't exactly like each other... yet. Eventual f!Jim/Bones. Possible Chris/f!Boyce. Rating may change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lost Stars

_Who are we? Just a speck of dust within the galaxy._   
_'Woe is me' if we're not careful turns into reality…_   
_Don't you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow._   
_Yesterday I saw a lion kiss a deer._   
_Turn the page; maybe we'll find a brand new ending._   
_Where we're dancing in our tears._

_And God, tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young._   
_It's hunting season and this lamb is on the run._   
_We're searching for meaning..._   
_But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark?_

Lost Stars – Keira Knightley

* * *

"I thought we talked about this, Jimmy. If you can't behave, you can't be on the ship, you know that," Chris said.

She looked at her dad and gave him a shrug. It wasn't that she didn't behave, it was just that she had a ton of energy and not a lot of places to focus it. The chief engineer on the USS Olympus kept her from doing anything. He bitched about having a kid near his warp core... and the computer system... and the shuttle bay. In short, the man complained to the captain anytime she was anywhere near engineering, so she had to find other stuff to do, it wasn't always good but not outright bad either.

"It's not my fault, dad. I just wanted to get a look at the new propulsion system and Becker flipped out. I didn't even touch anything this time," she said.

"Look, kid. You can't hang out in engineering, it's dangerous," he told her.

"Life's dangerous, it doesn't matter where you are," Jim countered.

"That's very true," Chris conceded. "But you still can't play around in engineering. I mean it. Becker complains enough as it is."

"Fine," the eleven year old huffed. He was the second officer on the ship, there wasn't much she could do about it.

"Good, I got something for you to do, anyway." Jim sat up straighter and waited. "You know Doctor Boyce went on leave. Turns out that a close friend of hers and his wife passed away and left their son in Pippa's custody. He's about a year older than you but he's never been on a ship. I need you to help him out, show him around, tell him the real rules, keep an eye on him."

"You want me to babysit the new kid," she sighed.

"Not babysit, just help. Can you do that for me? Kid lost his parents and he's moving to a starship, you know what that's like," Chris sighed.

Jamison Tabitha Kirk -or Pike, depending on who you ask and how you look at it- had the worst luck in the known universe. Her biological father, Lieutenant Commander George Kirk, died two minutes after she was born fighting some crazy Romulan. Her mother, former Lieutenant Winona Kirk, and her brother, George junior, died in a fire when Jim -as she prefers to be called- was four. And Lieutenant Commander Christopher Pike took custody of her, per her mother's will.

Apparently, Chris and her dad went to the Academy at the same time. They were a year apart but still managed to become friends. So close, in fact, that George asked Chris to take care of his family if anything happened. So, Jim's been with Chris for the last seven years on ships or in San Francisco. If she had to pick which one she likes more, it would definitely be being out in the black... just not with Lieutenant Commander Becker around.

"Please, Jim? If not for me, do it for this kid. He could use a friend right about now," he said. Guilt trips are so mean and her dad knew he had her.

"Fine, I'll do it. When does he get here?"

* * *

"I told you that it'd be over before you know it, Lenny. Now, here we are." Jim heard one of the ship's senior medical officers and Chris' old friend, Doctor Philippa 'Pippa' Boyce, tell a boy about Jim's age. The kid looked absolutely mortified to be on a shuttle. He was holding Pippa's hand as they stepped out of the small craft, his knuckles were white and his face was green, Jim couldn't decide if it was funny or sad.

"Yea, on a ship in the middle of nowhere. If the Klingons or the Romulans don't kill us, something else will," the kid muttered.

"This place is actually pretty safe. Light cruisers are well armed and shielded," she couldn't stop herself. A pair of pained hazel eyes looked at her.

"I have aviophobia. It means fear of dying in something that flies. Considering that my parents died in a shuttle crash I have every right to that feeling," the kid said in a thick southern accent. Georgia, if Jim had to guess.

"My folks are dead too. It sucks, I'm sorry. Welcome to the club," Jim said with a shrug.

"That's not your dad?" Hazel eyes asked, looking at Chris who was standing behind her.

"Legally, he is. Biologically, not so much. People say I look like him but I don't see it. Maybe it's because I take after my father and they could've passed for brothers. I don't know. It's not that important anyway. I'm Jim."

"Umm… McCoy, Leonard McCoy," the kid said.

"Well, McCoy, Leonard McCoy, it's been bestowed upon me to help you get used to this place. You may be new to space but I'm a veteran. I was even born out here," she told him.

"Really?" he asked, looking her up and down.

"Emergency shuttle on the edge of Klingon space. It was all very dramatic… at least, it sounds that way on the logs. Come on. I'll show you around while the adults talk. Might hack the food synthesizers for ice cream. You like ice cream, right?"

"Yea. I like ice cream. Who doesn't?" the twelve year old said.

"Well, that settles it," she declared and gently grabbed his arm. "Later, dad and Miss Pippa."

"Behave, children," Chris called.

"We will," they both answered before the door closed.

"Mostly," Jim muttered.

"You get into a lot of trouble, don't you?" Leonard asked.

"Not a lot. I'm just curious," she told him.

"Curiosity killed the cat," he said.

" _'_ _Curiosity is the very basis of education and if you tell me that curiosity killed the cat, I say only the cat died nobly.'_ Arnold Edinborough." When he gave her a look, Jim smiled. "I read a lot."

* * *

"That's T'Nel, she's nice. Lets me hang out in the biology lab. That guy over there, Hastings, is the most badass security officer on the ship. And that guy in blue, that's Nurse Jack Pryor. You'll probably see him a lot because he works with Miss Pippa. And…"

"Do you ever stop talking?" Leonard snapped at her.

"Of course I do. If you want me to stop, all you gotta do is ask," she told him.

"Would you?" he grumbled.

"Yea. Sure," Jim said.

They sat together in the recreation room and just stared at each other, their ice cream forgotten. It was one of those times that Jim wished she could read minds. She really wanted to know what this guy was thinking.

"How many other kids are on the ship?" Leonard asked after about five minutes.

"Fifteen. The youngest is four, the oldest will be sixteen in about a month," she answered. The joys of a year long science mission, families were authorized to tag along.

"How does school work around here?"

"By intelligence, not age. I'll graduate by the time I'm thirteen. Misses Tannin will test you," Jim sighed.

"Okay," he whispered. "You know where my room is?"

"You're in the CMO's quarters on the port side of deck four," she said. He raised an eyebrow. "When facing forward, port is the left side of the ship."

"Oh. How do I get there?" Leonard asked.

"Take the turbolift up to… You know what, I'll just show you," Jim said as she pushed herself up.

She didn't check to see if he followed her. At this point, she didn't care. Playing babysitter was already starting to bore her and his attitude was getting on her nerves. She gets that his parents died but it's not her fault. Jim showed him to his room and told him that she'd be there to show him where school was before she let Miss Pippa's quarters. She sighed. Why did she agree to do this?

"It's not you," a voice said behind her. "He's still in shock. This will take some time to get used to." Jim nodded at Miss Pippa, who gave Jim's cheek a light pat. "Don't give up on him, sweetie."


	2. Someday

_And maybe someday_   
_We'll figure all this out_   
_Try to put an end to all our doubt_   
_Try to find a way to make things better now and_   
_Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud_   
_We'll be better off somehow_   
_Someday_

Someday- Rob Thomas

* * *

"New kid's a jerk," Shannon whispered from Jim's left side.

"Yea, he just glared at me when I tried to talk to him this morning," Crista added.

"Some of the officers in medical said he spent all day in there yesterday just following Doctor Boyce around. It's creepy," Shannon added. Jim wanted to smack the kid, he just turned fifteen and he had no right to call anybody anything.

"Maybe he wants to be a doctor. His father was," Jim finally said to the two idiots she was sitting with.

"How do you know that?" Crista asked her.

"My dad. He said that Doctor McCoy was Miss Pippa's mentor," she sighed.

"That's no excuse for him to be mean," Crista said.

Jim shrugged, "His parents died and he got forced from his home to live somewhere he doesn't like with people he doesn't know and you expect him to be a ray of sunshine."

"Your parents died," Shannon pointed out. "You're not mean."

"I can be if I really wanted to be. To be fair, I didn't really know my parents. My dad died when I was a baby and my mom when I was four, Leonard, on the other hand, is twelve," she told them. "Let him be, okay." Jim grabbed her stuff and left the table.

"Why did you do that?" Leonard asked when she stepped into the corridor.

"Maybe I'm a sucker for lost causes," she shrugged.

"You think I'm a lost cause?" he raised an eyebrow.

"I think you're taking out your grief on everyone and it's not nice," Jim said. "For the moment, you're a lost cause because you don't get it. Despite what I told those idiots, I do understand. It's not just losing your family, it's wondering where you go after that. Who are you without them? It's something I've asked myself all the time. No one is saying to forget them, but you might want to find another way of coping. You want to be a jerk, fine, but you won't last very long in close quarters if you do."

"You're smarter than you look," Leonard told her after he looked at her for a long minute.

"I know, it's genetic. My parents were both geniuses," she smiled. "Look, I can still help you get used to this place but I'll only do it if you ask. And you have to promise not to snap at me like you did on your first day."

"Why would you help me?"

"Because dad and Miss Pippa asked me to," Jim answered honestly.

"Will you help me?" he asked. "I promise not to be too much of a jerk to you."

"See, that wasn't so bad. Yes, I'll help."

"You're a brat," Leonard chuckled.

"You have no idea."

* * *

"You don't have to hug the bulkhead, the viewport's not gonna suddenly open up and suck us out," she told him. Jim was giving Leonard a real tour of the ship on their day off of class and they ended up in the forward observation room.

"How do they keep the glass from breaking?" he asked.

"It's not glass. It's a transparent aluminum alloy, all the viewports are. The bridge has a command for them to go opaque if necessary," Jim said. Leonard seemed to like her answer and he stepped closer to her. She didn't push, she just watched him out of the corner of her eye.

"What is that? It's pretty," Leonard whispered.

"The Paulson Nebula. It's our assignment out here," she looked out at the purples and pinks. "We're near the trade route between Zeta Alpha two and Sentinel Minor four. The eggheads found a bunch of stuff out here. Dust clouds. Large rocks. Dilithium hydroxyls, magnesium, and chromium. It's pretty cool."

"How do you all this stuff?" he asked.

"I pay attention. The astrophysicists don't mind answering questions and, if you're quiet, sometimes they let you stay and watch what they're working on," Jim answered.

"Anyone I should stay clear of?" Leonard said as he sat in front of the viewport next to her.

"Becker. Chief engineer. Hates kids," she sighed. "Don't go anywhere near him without an adult and a reason or he'll flip."

"Sounds like you know from experience," the southerner quipped.

"I do. I like engineering. Building things or seeing how something works. Every time I go down there, he kicks me out and tells the Captain, who tells my dad. It's annoying," Jim told him. "Hey, you want to see the bridge?"

"Are we allowed?" he asked.

"We'll have to ask when we get there but it should be okay."

* * *

"Permission to come on the bridge, Captain," Jim said from the door.

"Permission granted, Miss Pike," Captain Dolman said from the command chair. Jim didn't bother correcting the name, there was no point. Jim walked Leonard around the bridge, pointing out all the consoles and introducing him to the people.

"Hey, dad. Before you say anything, I'm just showing Leonard around," she told the ship's second officer as they stood behind him at the tactical station.

"The bridge your last stop?" Chris asked.

"Yes, sir. It'll still take me a while but I have a general idea of where everything is," Leonard said.

"Well, nobody knows their way around like Jim. Not even Becker," her dad said.

"Too bad he doesn't realize that," Jim muttered.

"Can't win 'em all, kid."

"I know, dad," she sighed. "We should get out of here and let you all get back to work."

"I'll see you later. Behave," Chris said.

"We will," Jim said before looking at the captain. "Thank you for letting me give him the tour."

"Not a problem, Jamison."

"Jamison? Your name is Jamison?" Leonard asked as soon as they stepped into the turbolift.

"Hey, watch it, Leonard," she said. "I'm named after my grandfathers, James Davis and Tiberius Kirk. Jamison Tabitha Kirk. I don't love my name but it is my name."

"The captain called you 'Miss Pike'," he said.

"My adopted dad's last name is Pike. Both surnames are in my file," Jim answered. "I don't mind it but I prefer my birth name since I'm the only Kirk left."

"Got it."

* * *

"I don't like you," Leonard said when she got him back to his quarters.

Jim shrugged, "I'm not a fan of yours either. Unfortunately, dad and Miss Pippa are good friends so…"

"We're stuck with each other," he chuckled.

"I suppose there are worse things than being stuck with you. I should be dead… a few times over."

"Are you serious? You almost died?" Leonard asked.

"Yep. I told you where I was born. My mom was only in the shuttle because the ship she was on was attacked. My father died keeping an enemy ship away from taking out the evacuating shuttles and escape pods. Then, my mom and brother died in a fire at the family farm in Riverside. My stepdad was a drunk, burned the place down after my mom kicked him out. My brother helped me climb out my window and into a tree before he went back for mom. They both died at the hospital... I'm the only one who survived," she whispered the last part. Jim doesn't remember it all but she can still see Sam telling her exactly what to do like it happened yesterday.

"I'm sorry," he said. It was the first time since he got to the ship where his voice didn't have an edge to it. She could tell he was genuinely sorry.

"Thanks. I didn't fully understand when I was younger but when I finally asked, dad told me everything. It was hard to hear but I'm learning to deal with it. I guess that's why I understand you. I still have my bad days and I get moody or angry. My mom and dad and brother were good people. They never hurt anyone and it's… it's just not fair that they're gone," Jim said.

"I know. My folks were on their way home from Earthquake relief in some town in Alaska. My dad fixed people up and my mama was working clean-up. The shuttle crashed on the way back to Georgia," he sighed. "I don't know how to live without 'em."

"We just have to. It's not something we'll ever get over, we just have to learn to live with it. At least, that's what my shrink always says," she told him.

"Why am I not surprised you have a shrink?" Leonard asked.

"Just wait. I bet Miss Pippa is gonna make you talk to someone too."


	3. We're Going to be Friends

_Tonight I'll dream while I'm in bed_  
_when silly thoughts go through my head_  
_about the bugs and alphabet_  
_and when I wake tomorrow I'll bet_  
_that you and I will walk together again_  
_I can tell that we are gonna be friends_  
_Yes I can tell that we are gonna be friends._

We're Going to be Friends – The White Stripes

* * *

The ship shuddering pulled Jim out of her sleep. She didn't know what was going on, just that her dad was pulling on his gold uniform shirt as the Red Alert sounded. Jim grabbed her boots and a sweater, knowing what he was about to say.

"Go to my designated evac shuttle and do what I'm told," she said just as he opened his mouth.

"Yes. I love you, kiddo," he said as he kissed the top of her head.

"Love you too," she said. They left their quarters at the same time, going in opposite directions. Her dad headed for one of the turbolifts while Jim went to take the ladder down one deck to the emergency shuttle bay, she knew to leave the lifts for the officers who needed them.

"Jim," Leonard called after her. Jim looked at the kid. Like her, he was in his pajamas but he had on a pair of sneakers and his hair was a mess. She would've laughed but she could only image what she looked like to him.

"Hey. Come on," she said.

"What is going on?" he asked and they quickly climbed down.

"No idea. Red Alert could mean anything. Did Miss Pippa tell you where to go?" Jim asked as she pulled him along.

"Yea, shuttle nineteen," Leonard told her. "You know where that is?"

"Yep. It's were I'm going. It's really simple. You get in, sit down, strap in and stay quiet. The officers with us will tell us what to do if we have to leave the ship. Hopefully, we won't have to evac but this is SOP for non-essentials," she said as they got to the hatch.

"Evac? SOP? Non-essentials?" the southerner asked as they climbed in. Jim rattled off her info and Leonard's for the officer at the hatch who ushered them in. It was something that her dad taught her to do in case she got hurt or knocked out so someone would know who she was.

"Evac is short for evacuate, which you probably already know. SOP means standard operating procedure. Non-essentials means civilians and the officers that are not vital to the combat operations of the ship, which is a good chunk of the crew because this is a science mission," Jim sat down and strapped herself in. Then she reached over and helped Leonard strap in too. "We're gonna be okay."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked.

"I'm not, just hopeful that universe doesn't hate us that much," she said.

"I wouldn't bet on it," Leonard muttered. Jim actually chuckled at that, mostly because she was thinking it.

Because the shuttle was still in the ship, they could feel every shudder and rattle, Jim was sure that someone was firing on the vessel. Leonard reached over and grabbed her hand after the whole craft shook. Usually, she doesn't like to be touched unless she initiated it but the kid was terrified. She could understand. The first time Jim had to do this, she was eight and she held hands with the officer in the seat next to her since her dad was on the bridge.

"It's gonna be okay, Leonard," Jim told him. He just squeezed her hand. She looked around the shuttle at the officers and waited.

* * *

"Jim," her dad called when he walked onto their quarters.

"I'm right here, no need to yell," she said with a yawn.

The shuttles didn't have to evac and eventually, they were all ordered to disembark. There were damaged compartments all over the ship and Jim figured the safest thing to do was go back to her quarters. Leonard asked to tag along. He wasn't exactly sold on being in the CMO's quarters alone. To be fair, they were new to Pippa too and she hadn't had the chance to settle in. The old CMO retired out right before she left to get Leonard.

"Have you seen…?" Chris stopped when he noticed the sleeping twelve year old on the other end of the couch. "He's in here with you. I thought you didn't like him."

She shrugged, "He was scared. I couldn't just leave him to fend for himself. I may not like him but I'm not mean. Besides, we were in the shuttle together and figured there was safety in numbers. You might want to comm Miss Pippa so she knows where he is."

"And here I thought I was the adult."

"That's what I let you think," Jim told her dad.

"Brat," the officer chuckled as he sent a quick message to Pippa. She was still in sickbay. "I gotta get back, I just wanted to check on you."

"I'm fine. I'm gonna go back to sleep as soon as you leave," she said.

"Okay. I don't have to tell you to stay out of the way, do I?" he asked. Jim shook her head. "Good. I'll be back as soon as I have some time. Classes are cancelled for the day, so, for now, just stay here."

"Can do," Jim sighed.

"I love you, kiddo," her dad kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too," she said before wrapping her arms around her pillow and going back to sleep.

* * *

"You have interesting taste in music," Leonard said. Jim rubbed her eyes and noticed that he was sitting at the desk, looking through the console. Her dad's stuff was locked but Jim didn't have anything that warranted security, just music, movies and research for school.

"I like classic stuff, so what?" she asked.

"Nothing. I just never met anyone with remotely the same taste in music as I do. Beastie Boys, Johnny Cash, Hendrix, Sinatra, the Stones. I can actually listen to most of the stuff on here without pulling my hair out. There's something about music from the twentieth that I always liked," he said.

"It was real. The crap that people listen to now is over processed and..."

"Annoying. I mean, why listen to someone singing with the help of a computer over music created by a computer?" Leonard asked.

"I don't know. It always drove me crazy. There are some people with real talent but you have to weed them out. Stuff from back in the day is just… good. I get a warm feeling listening to it," Jim said.

"We sound like old people," he chuckled.

"Dad says I'm like a forty year old in an eleven year old's body," she said with a smile.

"My dad used to say something like that. Called me his middle-aged twelve year old," Leonard said with a touch of sadness in his voice.

"What was he like?" Jim asked.

"He was so cool. He was a doctor, took care of people. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna be the best doctor in the universe," he told her.

"I have no doubt."

"Really?" Leonard raised an eyebrow.

"I can see it. You got the brains for it," she said. He was in the same classes as her, which meant he was gonna graduate around fourteen.

"What about you? What are you gonna do?" he asked.

"I'm gonna be a Starfleet Captain. My father was a captain for twelve minutes. He saved over eight hundred people before he was killed in action. If I can be half as good as he was, I'll die happy. Who knows, maybe we'll serve together," Jim said.

"What makes you think I'll join up? I don't even like space," Leonard gave her a look.

"Yet. You don't like space yet. Stick with me and I can almost guarantee that you'll join up too," she told him.

"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."


	4. Friends

_Friends sing together, la la la la_  
_Friends do things together, la la la la_  
_Friends laugh together, Ha Ha Ha Ha_  
_Friends make graphs together, la la la la_

 _Friends help you when you're in danger_  
_Friends are people who are not strangers_  
_Friends help you shift into a new place_  
_Tell you if you've got food on your face_

 _Friends are the ones, on who you can depend_  
_He's my friend, he's not my friend_  
_Friends are the ones who are there at the end_  
_He's my friend, they're not my friends_

Friends – Flight of the Conchords

* * *

"Is it really your birthday?" Leonard asked when he stepped into her room. Jim moved the pillow from over her face and looked at him. "Everybody said it's your birthday but you never have a party."

"It's also the day my father died. My mom used to do stuff but after she died I didn't see the point," Jim muttered. "How'd you get in here?"

"Your dad," he said. "You do realize that not celebrating your birthday is a slap in their faces, right?"

"You don't know what you're talking about. Just go away, Leonard," she groaned and burrowed back under her pillows and blankets. "Let me have my pity party in peace."

"No," the southerner said as he pulled the pillow off her head. "You're annoying but you didn't let me pity myself, so I'm not gonna let you do it either. You're gonna get up and get dressed and you're gonna teach me how to play three-dimensional chess."

"It's my crappy birthday, why should I teach you anything?" Jim asked.

"Because the other option is the surprise party that your other friends are trying to throw for you. We may not know each other that well but I do know that you wouldn't like that. If you don't want to teach me how to play we can watch movies or something," he told her.

"They're not my friends. I tolerate those happy idiots with their happy parents and their happiness," she grumbled. Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Fine, I'll get dressed just get out of my room." He chuckled and left her alone. Jim pushed herself up and did a quick run under the sonic shower before she pulled on leggings, a tank top and one of her dad's sweaters.

"See, that wasn't so hard," Leonard said when she stepped into the common area of the quarters she shares with her dad.

"Smartass," Jim muttered.

"Takes one to know one," he smirked.

* * *

"No, no, no," Jim said as Leonard's hovercar sped past hers on the screen. "Come on! How do you keep doin' that!?"

"I'm just that good," he said. "Rematch?"

"No. I think I know when I'm outmatched. I got chess and you got this," she said. Jim taught him how to play three-dimensional chess before they moved to playing games on the console.

"So, what else should we do?" Leonard asked.

"I don't know. I was happy to spend the day in my bed sulking," Jim said.

"That's not how birthdays go, Jim," he told her. "You have fun and hang out and bake stuff. Oh, that's what we should do. Bake a birthday cake."

"I don't like cake," she told him.

"Who doesn't like cake?" Leonard gave her a look. "What is wrong with you?"

"My father wasn't overly fond of cake either, dad says I got that from him. My mom used to make cookies instead," Jim sighed. "That's what dad does if he has the time. They usually come out like briquettes but it's the thought that counts."

"Okay, so we bake cookies," he said with a smile.

"Who are you and where is the grumpy kid that Pippa brought to the ship a couple months ago?" She was so confused by this happy person sitting next to her.

"Hardy har har. The ship would probably implode if we were both in a bad mood at the same time," Leonard chuckled.

"You're being nice because I'm in a bad mood?" she asked. He shrugged. "I thought you didn't like me."

"You're not too bad. You might even be my friend," he said under his breath.

"You might even be my friend too," Jim said. "If you really want to bake something, there's only one place on the ship where we can do it." The ship had an actual kitchen in the galley. That's where all the fresh food came from. The officer in charge of the kitchen usually left some space available for crew members who asked to cook. "I don't know how to bake, though."

"Luckily, my mama taught me how to make a bunch of stuff. Grab your shoes," he told her.

"I like 'not grumpy' you," she said. Jim wasn't used to him being nice, civil but not nice.

He smiled, "I got a reputation to protect, so don't tell anyone."

* * *

"You made cookies?" her dad asked.

"Leonard taught me his mother's snickerdoodle recipe," she said.

"They're really good," Miss Pippa said with a mouth full of cookie. Jim and Leonard both chuckled at the look on her face. "You should try one."

"Yea, dad, try one," Jim said. He looked at her before taking one of the cookies on the tray and taking a huge bite out of it.

"You know how to cook anything else?" her dad asked Leonard.

"A few things, sir," the kid answered.

"You think you can teach 'em to Jim? I'm helpless in the kitchen but there's no reason she has to be," Chris said.

"No problem, Mister Chris. I was thinking that anyway since the only time she's actually quiet is when you give her something to do," Leonard said.

"Hey, I'm right here," Jim said.

"We know," her dad and Leonard said at the same time.

"Miss Pippa, they're teaming up on me," she pouted.

"Hey, now. Be nice to Jim," the doctor said. Leonard and Chris both mumbled apologies. Messing with Miss Pippa was never a good idea, she has hypos and she's not afraid to use them.

"It's okay," Jim said. "Thanks, Leonard. For… you know…"

"Not letting you spend your birthday wallowing in self-pity?" he asked. Jim nodded. "Your welcome."

* * *

"Come on, Leonard," Jim said to her friend. Shannon, Crista and some of the other kids were being assholes. Jim doesn't know why they've decided to take their problems out on Leonard but she wasn't gonna sit here and listen to it.

"Running to your new mommy, Leonard," Shannon teased. "Better hurry before she dies on you too."

"Back off, Shannon," Jim growled.

"Or what?" the teen asked.

"You don't want to find out," she said. Unlike the other kids, she wasn't scared of him.

* * *

"You punched Shannon Myers?" Chris asked her. Jim nodded. "Why?"

"He's a jerk," she muttered.

"Jamison Tabitha Kirk Pike, what in the hell were you thinking?" her dad asked. Jim looked at her boots. "Well?"

"He… It doesn't matter," Jim sighed.

"It matters to me. You don't go around hitting people. So what did he do?"

"He was taunting Leonard about his parents," she whispered. "It reminded me of the kids from the Florence. I told Shannon to stop but when he kept going, so I punched him. I know it's wrong to hit someone but he just wouldn't stop. I don't know if he didn't care or didn't realized that he was picking at my wounds too but it was... it was just mean."

"Let me see your hand," her dad said, all the fight drained from him. "You didn't do any damage."

"I actually bruised it pretty good. Leonard fixed it," Jim said.

"No kidding," he said.

"Yep. He wants to be a doctor. You should've heard him listing off all the bones in my hand earlier, it was pretty cool. I think that's gonna be my nickname for him," she told her dad.

"What? Hand?"

"No, dad. Bones."


	5. It Takes Two

_It takes two to make a thing go right_  
_It takes two to make it outta sight_  
_Hit it!_

It Takes Two - Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock

* * *

"So, we're on our way back to Earth?"

"Yep. Because of where we are, it'll take a little while, Bones," she said.

"Don't call me that," he grumbled.

"Why not? It's a nickname. That's what friends do, give each other nicknames," she told him.

"Okay. Why that one?" Bones asked.

"Because you want to be a surgeon. Old nickname for surgeons is sawbones. So, I've decided to dub you Bones. You can give me a nickname if you want, just nothing completely crazy," Jim said.

"I'll think about it, Blondie," he told her.

They looked at each other, "Nah."

* * *

" _I wanna rock right now, I'm Rob Base and I came to get down. I'm not internationally known but I'm known to rock the microphone. Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous, stay away from me if you're contagious_ ," Bones started.

" _'Cause I'm the winner, no, I'm not the loser, to be an M.C. is what I choose 'a. People love me, they adore me, I mean even the ones who never saw me like the way that I rhyme at a show. The reason why, man, I don't know. So let's go, 'cause_ ," Jim added.

" _It takes two to make a thing go right_ ," they both sang horribly. " _It takes two to make it outta sight_."

"And I thought I was old," Miss Pippa said from Bones' doorway. "At least it's appropriate for the two of you. I feel like I'm watching the magic happen."

"Magic would be use writing our own songs," Bones chuckled. "Since we both have horrible singing voices, I doubt that's gonna happen."

The newly turned twelve and thirteen year olds –Leonard's birthday was sixteen days after Jim's- were supposed to be working on an assignment. Between Leonard's scientific aptitude and Jim's engineering expertise, they finished it in record time and started singing random songs while they were hanging out.

"Well, at least…" Jim started but a Red Alert cut her off. Pippa looked at the two young teens.

"Go to your shuttle," the doctor told them. Their trip home was delayed a little because they picked up a distress signal and detoured. Jim wasn't sure what was going on but she wasn't gonna argue.

"Yes, ma'am," they both said as the doctor ran to sickbay. Jim and Leonard did as they were told and headed to the shuttle bay, unfortunately, they were blocked off. She pulled Leonard into an alcove before they were spotted.

"Oh, shit," Jim muttered. "Nausicaan pirates."

"I assume that's bad," Leonard whispered. Jim nodded and pushed him into the lab they were standing outside of.

"Means the distress call was a fake," she told her friend while she directed him to the access panel to the Jefferies tubes. Nausicaans were known for their lack of subtlety and a surly, ill-tempered attitudes. Jim doesn't know how they got on the ship but she wasn't gonna let them win. "Get in."

"What are you gonna do?" he asked.

"I'm right behind you, Bonesy, I just gotta do one thing," Jim said. Using the access codes that Becker didn't know she picked up from him, she hacked the system and locked out the ship's computer. Intruders on the ship meant that the bridge might not be in the command staff's control. If someone got their hands on the information in their system, it would be very bad.

"Come on, Jim," Bones said, worry in his voice. She heard someone outside the door and knew she was out of time. Jim grabbed the PADD off the table and climbed into the tubes with Bones. He pulled the panel closed as soon as she was in. It was just in time too, a Nausicaan soldier checked the room and left a minute later. "What are we gonna do?"

"We gotta get to the Auxiliary Bridge," she told him. "It's the only way to run the ship since I locked the main bridge out."

"So bugging the chief engineer was helpful?" he asked as they crawled.

"Yep. Come on."

* * *

"You didn't show me this on the tour," Bones muttered as they dropped down into the Auxiliary Bridge.

"That's because I'm not supposed to know it's here," she shrugged.

"This is what your dad meant about you knowing the ship better than Commander Becker, isn't it?" he asked.

"Nope. Because I'm smaller than Becker, I mapped the whole ship by climbing around in the Jefferies tubes," Jim said as she read the screens in front of her. "They're using the transporters for something."

"Reinforcements?" Bones asked as he moved to another console.

"Possibly. Or they're sending the crew to the surface of the planet off our starboard hull. One is bad and the other is worse," she said.

"So what are we gonna do? We can't exactly fight them," he said.

"Can't we? 'Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will'," Jim told him.

Bones rolled his eyes, "What genius said that?"

"Gandhi. You really gotta start reading something other than anatomy stuff, Bones," she chuckled.

"I think I'm good. What are you doing?" he asked.

"I just locked them out of the transporters so that I can use them," Jim said.

"Use 'em how?" He looked at her like she was crazy.

"Everyone who's supposed to be on this ship is in the system, registered by DNA scan. It's part of the physical that Miss Pippa does when new crew members get here. I'm gonna beam the people not in the system into the brig. I've also initiated the weapons deactivation program," she told him as her hands went flying. She's seen Becker use the transporter a million times, she just hopes she gets it right.

* * *

"You disabled the computers, locked out the transporters and beamed the pirates into the brig?" her dad asked. Jim nodded. He laughed, "Why am I not surprised? I knew you weren't just messing with Becker in engineering, you were actually paying attention."

"I told you I was. Bones helped," she said.

"I didn't do anything but make sure you didn't get yourself killed," Bones muttered.

"That helped. I couldn't do anything if they caught me," she said.

"Is that what you're gonna do when you join up? Engineering?" the captain asked.

"No, sir. I want to go command," she told him. "There's no reason why I can't be a captain who knows engineering."

"You'll be like George. He was a double focus; security and tactical," Chris said.

"Really? You can have two focuses?" Jim asked.

"Yep. Usually only the brilliant cadet even attempted it though. I think you and do it. When you're older," her dad said.

"You just want to keep me around," she teased.

Her dad chuckled, "Of course I do."

"He's not the only one. You kids saved the ship," Captain Dolman said. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sir," they both said. The ship's commanding officer smiled, whispered something to her dad and left the room.

"What he say?" Miss Pippa asked.

"Classified," her dad said. "Come on, I think ship rescues call for ice cream."

"What are we, six?" Bones asked.

"Yea, dad. We can get ice cream on our own," she said. "Thanks for the offer though. Come on, Bones."

"Did you see their faces?" Bones asked when they walked into the corridor.

"Well, we did save the day."


	6. Save Me, San Francisco

_I've been high, I've been low_  
_I've been yes and I've been oh, hell no_  
_I've been rock 'n' roll and disco_  
_Won't you save me San Francisco?_

_I've been up, I've been down_  
_I've been so damn lost since you're not around_  
_I've been reggae and calypso_  
_Won't you save me San Francisco?_

Save Me, San Francisco – Train

* * *

"Home, sweet home," Jim said as the shuttle sat down at the large port between the Academy and HQ.

"This place is massive," Bones muttered.

"You have no idea. This is just the main shuttle port, there's another one on the other side of the bridge. That's the Academy," she pointed out the viewport at some stuff. "Training Command and Enlisted Basic Training, FleetHQ, MedComm, TacComm, Corps of Engineers and a bunch of other stuff is here. There's a residential area for personnel with families, that's where we'll live. There's also a school, a rec center and the daycare center, which we're too old for… I'm sure I'm missing something."

"I bet we'll figure it out," he said. "You think Aunt Pip will show me around the medical buildings?"

"If you ask, she'll probably take you on a tour. Next to MedComm is the hospital and there's a clinic at the Academy," Jim said.

"You already explored this place, didn't you?" Bones asked.

"Not as much as I wanted to. Last time we were planet-side I was nine. I didn't have as much free-reign as I do now," she said with a shrug. "Or a friend to go with me."

"Why does it sound like we're about to do something that's gonna get us in trouble," he groaned.

"I'm not… Well, maybe a little."

* * *

"Why did I agree to this? Why did I agree to this?" Bones muttered.

"Seriously? This is one of the safest things you could do. You asked where my favorite spot in the city was. Besides, it's just a walk," she chuckled.

"Yea. God only knows how high this thing is from the water," he grumbled, his hand tightening around hers because he was just that scared. Jim could admit that holding hands with him wasn't the worst thing that's ever happened to her.

"Sixty seven point one meters," Jim said.

"That's what, over two hundred feet?" her friend asked.

"Two twenty," she sighed. "As long as you don't hop over the guardrails you'll be fine. People have been walking across the Golden Gate Bridge for centuries. It's not even two miles long."

"How do you know that?"

"I walked across it before with dad. FleetOps and some Academy training facilities are on that side of the bridge. I was curious, so I asked," Jim pointed in the direction they were going. "Seriously, Bones, we'll be fine, we're already halfway across."

Bones looked around and realized that she was right. "You distracted me."

"Of course I did. Close your eyes," she told him.

"Why, so you can push me over?"

"That would probably kill you and I'd hate to have to break in a new best friend. Come on, close 'em," Jim sighed. Bones gave her a look before he decided that she wasn't gonna murder him and closed his eyes. She guided his hand to the railing and turned him towards the bay. "You can open your eyes. I give you my favorite view of San Francisco."

For a long time, he just looked out over the bay. From here they could see Alcatraz through the light fog and the sunlight that made through made the water shimmer.

"Okay, that's pretty," Bones smiled.

"We can head back now if you want," she said.

"No, it's peaceful. Can we stay for a while?" he asked her.

"Yea. We can stay."

* * *

"Get your hands in there, Jim," Bones chuckled.

"I hate you so much right now," she mumbled.

"You'll get over it," he told her. "This is dinner for Mister Chris and Aunt Pip, so I suggest you get to it."

Bones was teaching her the easiest thing he could think to cook; pasta. Making it from scratch it was literally just the right amount of flour, salt and eggs. Jim had her hands covered in the mixture trying to make pasta dough. It wasn't really working and she was ready to wash her hands and go with the prepackaged stuff but Bones wouldn't let her. Something about his mama rolling over in her grave. Jim raised an eyebrow.

"There're some Italians on my mama's side. She always made her pasta from scratch. You can do this, Jim. If you can teach me really basic computer coding, I can teach you how to make pasta," Bones said. He was making some kind of sauce but she wasn't paying enough attention to know what he put in it.

"We're the kids. The old people are supposed to cook," Jim pouted.

"Not where I come from. My mama said I had to know how to cook so that I could eat real food when I left home. Oh, and to impress the girls with my mad skills when I got older," he shrugged. "Making my mama breakfast on mother's day was pretty cool too."

"I don't think I've ever celebrated mother's day. I was so little when she died," she muttered. "In a perfect universe, she would probably be teaching me how to cook. Chris is horrible at it."

"That's means you're stuck with me teaching you, so, put some elbow grease in it, Kirk," Bones ordered.

"Yea, yea," Jim said with a smile.

* * *

"Jim," Bones called behind her. She slowed her steps and let him catch up. "Miss Highland is an idiot. You okay?"

"I'm fine. Apparently, that's the problem," she muttered.

The USS Kelvin came up in advanced history class and their teacher looked Jim dead in the face before the woman started insulting everything about George Kirk's final actions. It was a Starfleet operated school, so the topic wasn't a surprise but there has to be a rule somewhere about being disrespectful to Federation heroes, especially if their children are in your class. Jim was sure the woman hated her and she had no idea why. Leonard attempted to steer the conversation to the more positive outlook but Miss Highland kept on going. She would have to ask her dad if the woman was, or knew someone who was, on that ship.

"That happens a lot, doesn't it?" he asked after they walked in silence for a few minutes.

"All the time. Mostly adults and more on Earth than on the ships. On ships they get it, being out in the middle of the unknown where all the options you're taught at the Academy are worthless. But on Earth, everyone thinks they're a tactical and shipboard combat expert. I'm so sick of people criticizing a man they didn't know. He saved his crew, the least people could do is respect that fact," Jim said. "I'm ranting."

"You have every right to," Bones told her. "I'm sorry she was being a bitch about your dad. It's wasn't your fault and she had no right to take her issues out on you." Jim looked at him. "What?"

"I don't think anyone has ever said that to me. I've been blamed and teased and even ignored but I don't think anyone other than dad has ever said it wasn't my fault," she said.

"Well it wasn't and if people don't get that, it's their problem," he said. "I think I have to do something nice to take your mind off of this, right?"

"Something like that. My favorite burger place is a few blocks away. I'm gonna drown my sorrows in beef, cheese, fries and milkshakes if you want to join me."

"I'm in," Bones chuckled "I think I like this city."


	7. Here's to the Night

_All my time is froze in motion_  
_Can't I stay an hour or two or more?_  
_Don't let me let you go_

_Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well_

_Here's to the nights we felt alive_  
_Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry_  
_Here's to goodbye_  
_Tomorrow's gonna come too soon_

Here's to the Night – Eve 6

* * *

"Hey, Mister Chris. Is Jim around, she wasn't in school today?" she heard Bones ask from the front door. Jim's dad let him in but Jim didn't hear what her dad said. She was too busy bracing herself for the conversation she knew was coming. "Hey, Jim. So, I… Why are you packing?"

"We're leaving," she mumbled.

"Since when? Aunt Pip said we had six months and she didn't get orders," he said.

"Not the Olympus, they have another two months in the dock. Dad got orders to be the XO on the Aldrin. They're going out on some six month mission and I can't go with them," Jim said.

"So, where are you going?" Bones sighed.

"Tarsus Four. You ever hear of Hoshi Sato?"

"The communications officer on Enterprise NX-01 and on the Endeavor?" he asked. Jim nodded. "What about her?"

"I'm staying with her and her husband. She's pretty cool, maybe I can get her to teach me a language or get Mister Takashi to teach me stuff from his MACO days," she told him.

"You can't stay with us?" Bones looked like he was about to cry. To be honest, Jim wanted to cry too.

"Dad thought of that already but I can't go on the ship with Miss Pippa when the Olympus leaves. I'd be right back at square one in two months and dad wouldn't be here to do anything about it. This is what happens when there are only three people in your family. I usually stay with Grandpa Charlie but he's on the Aldrin too. I don't know what's up on that ship but bringing in a new XO instead of promoting someone on the senior staff means the brass thinks something is going on." Jim plopped down on her bed. "This sucks."

"No kidding. Who's gonna be a pain in my ass now?" he asked with a nudge.

"You think you can get rid of me, that's cute. It's not gonna be forever. And I can still torture you from afar," she smiled.

"I just won't answer my comm," Bones countered with a smirk.

"Liar. You'd miss me and you know it. Besides, I could probably hack you and force your comm to answer me anyway," Jim said. He chuckled and nodded because he knew she was right. Jim sat up on the bed and looked at him. "We should make a promise that we'll talk to each other."

"Once a week, at least, no exceptions," he said.

"Agreed. Pinky swear?" she said. Bones nodded and they intertwined the smallest finger on their right hands for a few seconds before they let go.

"I'm gonna miss you, Jim," her friend said before he chuckled. "Wow, I never thought I'd say that."

"I'll miss you too," Jim smiled. "You know what they say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

* * *

"Jim-chan," Hoshi said when the young teen hopped off the shuttle.

"Hoshi-san," Jim said as she hugged the woman who was the closest thing to her grandmother. This isn't the first time Jim's stayed with Hoshi but she was just six then. All that Jim could remember was that the woman was sweet, brilliant and firm but fair.

"Is this your only bag?"

"Yes, ma'am. I travel light," she answered. It was true, the side effect of spending her life hopping around.

"I remember when Chris brought you out here the last time. He packed enough stuff for a small army," Hoshi chuckled.

"He was still a little new at all the parenting stuff back then. I pack my own bags now… mostly because I wash my own clothes anyway," Jim said with a shrug.

"So, you have chores now?" Hoshi asked as they stated walking.

"Yes, ma'am. My laundry, though I usually just do all of it. I do the dishes, even though we're both horrible cooks. I was learning how to cook before we left. I wonder if Bones is gonna teach me over the comm."

"Bones?" her father's friend asked.

"His name is Leonard but I call him Bones. He wants to be a surgeon," she said. Unlike most people, Hoshi immediately understood Jim's choice of nickname for her friend.

"What did he teach you so far?" Hoshi asked.

"Snickerdoodles, peach cobbler, homemade pasta, simple pasta sauce, shrimp and grits, baked mac and cheese, chicken noddle soup and country fried chicken," Jim rattled off the list.

"Well, it's about time one of you Kirk-Pike's learned how to cook," the woman chuckled. "I figured all three of you would have to live on food synthesizers forever."

* * *

"Make any new friends yet?" Jim asked.

"Nope. I don't like these idiots," Bones grumbled on the vid-comm.

"You didn't like me at first," she reminded him. "And now I'm your bestie."

"True but you're smart so I can ignore the fact that you're occasionally annoying. These idiots are annoying _and_ stupid," he said.

"Well, not everyone is as awesome as me."

* * *

"Hey, you okay?" Jim said as she walked out of the educational building and spotted one of the kids sitting alone. School let out two hours ago but she was working on a project.

"I think so. Just bored," the boy said. He looked up at her and his eyes went wide. "You're the girl who lives with Miss Hoshi and Mister Takashi."

"Yep. Jim Kirk," she introduced herself.

"Kevin Riley. My parents live down the street from you," he told her.

"That so?" He nodded. "Mind walking me home?" Jim asked. It was actually the other way around but she's not gonna mention that to the kid.

"Sure. You don't have many friends, do you?" Kevin asked.

"Not really. I'm not staying long. My dad is on a mission and he couldn't take me with him. Once he's done, I'm outta here. I have a best friend but he's on a ship," she answered.

"I could be your friend," he said. Jim smiled, he had to be the cutest six or seven year old she's ever met.

"I just turned thirteen, I'm not too old to be your friend?"

"I don't think so," he asserted.

"Well, alright then. I would love to be your friend, Kevin," she smiled.

"Cool."

* * *

"You okay?" Bones asked.

"I don't know. I have that feeling," she mumbled. Her best friend sat up straighter in his chair.

"You mean that one you get when something's about to happen?" he said.

"Yep. I don't know if it's just in my head but I feel like… I don't know. My skin crawls and this chill runs up my spine," Jim sighed. "Tell me I'm crazy."

"Well, you are. But if you think something's going on, ask Miss Hoshi. You said it yourself, she wouldn't lie to you if it affected you. And, if it makes you feel better, you'll be with Mister Chris in about a month and a half, right?"

"That does make me feel better," she smiled. Hoshi called her for dinner. "Hey, Bonesy, I gotta go. Ta ta for now."

* * *

"Hey, Jim," Bones blinked his eyes open, "what's up?"

"There's something wrong with the crops," she whispered.

"What do you mean by 'wrong'?" he asked.

"They're dead and dying. Right now, the food's being rationed off but I don't know how long that's gonna last," Jim told him. "I need you to do me a favor and have Miss Pippa comm dad, I can't get through to the Aldrin. I keep trying but it's not working."

"They might be running comms dark but I'll tell her to comm him. I'll try too," Bones said. "You look worried."

"I am worried."

"Everything's gonna be okay, Jim," he said.

"I hope you're right."

* * *

_Subspace Comm-Link Failed_  
_To: McCoy, Leonard H. - USS Olympus NCC-1618 - Starfleet_  
_From: Kirk-Pike, Jamison T. – Tarsus IV Colonial Settlement - United Federation of Planets_

The UFP logo glared at her. It was odd. Mainly because she's tried three different ways to get in touch with Bones, her dad and Miss Pippa, all nine attempts should've worked from this end. There had to be a problem with the comm station and by 'problem' she means that they were shut-down because even the emergency channel was down. That was something that took the governor's authorization. That bad feeling she told Bones about was getting worse by the moment.

"Jim-chan," Hoshi ran into her room faster than anyone over a hundred should move. "Put on you boots and your warm jacket, now." Jim didn't know what was wrong but she was smart enough not to argue.

"They're headed this way," Mister Takashi said from the door. "You know how to shoot, Jim-chan."

"Yes, sir," she said. The man handed her an older phaser and a combat knife.

"Take these," he told her. "There's food in the bag, it's not much but it's enough. Go out the back and head down the ridge."

"I don't under… understand," Jim said.

"Kodos has something planned and he's sending men here. We can't let them take you, or worse," Hoshi said as she added some of Jim's personal belongings to the 'Bug out Bag' and tossed in Jim's PADD at the last second.

"What about you?" she asked the woman.

"Whatever happens, you fight. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Hoshi-san." Jim zipped her jacket and pulled the bag on. Together, they ran down the stairs. Hoshi and Takashi gave her a tight hug before they told her to stay in cover and run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be mad at me if you want but I had to do it. Don't worry, Jim and Bones will be reunited soon.


	8. Fix You

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_  
_When you get what you want, but not what you need_  
_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_  
_Stuck in reverse_  
_And the tears come streaming down your face_  
_When you lose something you can't replace_  
_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_  
_Could it be worse?_

 _Lights will guide you home_  
_And ignite your bones_  
_And I will try to fix you_

Fix You - Coldplay

* * *

She doesn't know why she let Tommy talk her into this. Maybe it's because the other thirteen year old had a good point. They'll never know what they're dealing with if they don't look. The two teens were pressed against the wall of the medical clinic. There were a bunch of people in the courtyard but Jim had no idea why until the lead enforcer started talking.

_"The revolution is successful. But survival depends on drastic measures. Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death. Your execution is so ordered, signed Kodos, Governor of Tarsus IV."_

The next thing Jim heard was shooting and shouting.

"They're killing everybody," Tommy said. "We gotta do something." Jim looked around the corner as best she could. What she saw… there were no words. People were being shot and falling all over the place. The entrances were blocked off and the people who tried to run in those directions were gunned down. That's when Jim spotted a little ball with brown hair.

"Psst, Kevin," Jim called, trying not to give either of them away. She motioned for him to run to her. He looked around, nodded and sprinted in her direction.

One of the enforcers spotted the kid and turned his weapon in Kevin's direction, that's when Tommy jumped between them, taking a shot to the head. Jim thought he was dead for a second, but as soon as the enforcer turned to kill someone else, Tommy pushed himself up and made his was to her. His right eye was a mess but he put on a brave face as they pulled more kids out of the courtyard. If she could save them all, she would've but there wasn't enough time and she didn't want to get the kids she did save killed by trying to get more of them.

"Where are we going?" one of the boys whispered.

"There's a cave system out behind Hoshi's," Jim said. It was where Mister Takashi told her to go and it's where she would've been if she hadn't run into Tommy. She looked at him, "You okay?"

Tommy shrugged, "I'll live."

* * *

Jim looked down at the blood on her hands. She didn't mean to hurt him but the man had his hand around her throat and she wasn't gonna let him kill her. Going for her knife was the last resort and the sound it made when she stabbed the man in his neck was gonna haunt her forever. Jim cringed as she retrieved her knife and scrambled away with the rations she stole.

All the food that the kids had was officially gone a few hours ago. She didn't expect it to last forever, not with a dozen kids eating it, but that meant she had to go steal it. Jim avoided taking from the other colonists and went straight for Kodos' rations, the man she encountered was one of his enforcers.

On her way back to the kids, she stopped by the now-stagnant river and washed as much blood off as she could. For some reason Jim still hadn't figured out, she was in charge. Tommy's eye was still a mess but Jim had enough medical supplies to take care of it, for now. Twelve days is a long time to go without medical care.

"I'm definitely taking an emergency medical class when this is over."

* * *

Nineteen days in, Jim buried Heidi. The girl was ten and she liked butterflies.

Twenty-two days in, Jim realized that no one was gonna last much longer. Not her, not Tommy, not Kevin, no one.

Twenty-four days in, Jim buried Shane. He was twelve and he wanted to be a reporter.

Twenty-nine days in, Jim stopped eating. She gave her rations to Kevin and Elena, the youngest kids in the group.

Thirty days in, Jim buried Alice. The nine year old would sing the other kids to sleep at night.

Thirty-seven days in, Jim stopped hoping that someone would find them and resigned herself to the fact that she was probably gonna die on this barren wasteland.

Thirty-eight days in, Starfleet showed up in the best and worst way possible.

* * *

"You can't go in there," she heard a voice say.

"The hell I can't," a familiar voice growled. There was a shuffle and some murmuring before someone stepped into the private room in the Olympus' sickbay. "Jim."

"Bones. You look like crap," she whispered as she blinked her eyes open and took him in. His hazel eyes were red-rimmed, his usually tan skin was pale and she could tell that he'd been running his hands through his hair. Her best friend looked almost as bad as she felt. He stared at her for a long time before he rushed across the room and hugged tight her against his chest.

"I told them something was wrong but nobody listened to me," he said with a quiver in his voice and Jim could tell that he was close to tears. "They kept telling me that you were too busy and that you forgot about me. But I knew. I knew something happened."

"I didn't forget about you, Bonesy. I just didn't realize how bad it got until I tried to comm you and dad, then it all went to hell. I don't break promises, especially, pinky promises to my best friend," Jim muttered against his chest.

She took a deep breath, Bones always smells like clean linens and sunshine. For some reason it made her feel safe and that was the last straw, Jim burst into tears. She didn't have a chance to grieve the losses and there were plenty of those. Jim had to keep it together for the kids, she couldn't let them see their leader break and she didn't have the time or energy to cry. Now, she didn't really care anymore. Hoshi and Takashi were gone. She buried three of those kids with her own hands. There were over four thousand people murdered by the man who was supposed to protect them. She had every right to her tears and she knew Bones wouldn't hold it against her. The blonde doesn't know how he did it but Bones climbed onto the biobed with her without letting her go. And that's how they stayed.

* * *

Jim loves her dad, she really does, but being around adults made her uncomfortable. It's why they had her in a private room on the Olympus, she almost killed the away team. If it hadn't been for the fact that she recognized Nurse Pryor, there's a good chance that she would've. It's why Bones stayed in the room with her when there were other people in there. It was also why Bones –with special permission from her dad's CO- was on his way back to Earth with her and the other kids after they were transferred to the Aldrin.

"I think it's just men," Bones said. She gave him a look. "You're not as leery with women. You want to talk about it."

"Not yet," Jim sighed.

"When you're ready, I'll listen," he told her.

"I know. I'm just… I don't know what to think right now."

"Nobody expects you to," Bones said with a smile.

"I just feel bad," she said. He gave her a look. "Dad."

"He understands, Jim," he told her. "We all do."

"How? I don't even understand," Jim muttered.

"We'll figure it out. Together."


	9. Safe & Sound

_Just close your eyes_  
_The sun is going down_  
_You'll be alright_  
_No one can hurt you now_  
_Come morning light_  
_You and I'll be safe and sound_

Safe and Sound – Taylor Swift featuring The Civil Wars

* * *

"Credit for your thoughts, Jimmy."

She scoffed, "I doubt they're worth that much."

"I think they are. You okay?" Bones asked as he sat next to her on the pier. Her dad thought it was a good idea to spend some time at the cabin in Mojave near the lake. So, that's where Jim, Bones, Chris and Charlie were.

"Nope," she muttered as she looked out at the water. Her nightmares took on a whole new level of horror since Tarsus and Jim was lucky to get an hour or two of sleep. She was sure it didn't go unnoticed, especially by her best friend. "You're not even remotely surprised."

"No, I'm not. So, you wanna talk about it?" he asked. Jim shook her head.

"Nothing to talk about," Jim sighed.

"That's a lie otherwise you wouldn't be sitting outside at almost three in the morning by yourself."

"You're here so I'm not by myself," she pointed out.

"You know what I mean, smartass," Bones grumbled. "Something's bothering you and it goes beyond what…"

"I killed someone," Jim whispered. "An enforcer. I stabbed him in the neck."

"Why?" he asked. She expected shock and even disgust but he just asked her like they were talking about the weather.

"He tried to strangle me when I stole food." Jim could still feel his hand around her neck, still see the look in his eyes.

"And you feel bad about it," Bones said.

"I'm a murderer," she whispered.

"No, you're not. You defended yourself. I know that doesn't change the fact that you took a life but you have to know that it was either gonna be him or you," he sighed. Jim nodded. She knew that, even if it didn't make her feel better. "You're not the asshole here, Jim. That's Kodos and his followers. You're the girl who saved a whole bunch of little kids from being killed."

"Didn't matter in the end. Some of them died and I can't even see the others."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Jim sighed, "that their families don't want me to have any contact with them. I wasn't given any information on anyone. Not Tommy, not Kevin, not Elena... None of them. Dad tried but his CO is a prick." That was actually the hardest part. Five weeks she protected those kids and made sure they didn't starve to death and now she couldn't even comm them to make sure they were okay. Kevin and Tommy were actually her friends, so that just hurt. "They want them to forget. Like surviving the massacre of your family is something you can forget."

"They just want to do what they think is right," He said.

"You think it's right to keep us all apart?"

"I didn't say that. I honestly think it's stupid to break ya'll up. I know you're worried about the others, I don't doubt they're worried about you too," Bones told her. "Hell, I'm sitting next to you and I'm worried."

"I know. I wish I could be okay again. You being nice to me all the time is weird. And watching dad and pop walk on eggshells whenever I'm in the room… It's like they're waiting for me to break."

"They're just worried, Jim. You've been through a lot and you're only thirteen. Doesn't help that your dad… he blames himself. You wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for him taking those orders," he said.

"What? He didn't have a choice, they're called orders for a reason. This isn't his fault." Her dad has his own issues to deal with. The Aldrin was heavily damaged during an engagement with a Vestian ship and her dad had to temporarily take command of the ship from Captain Kanmach. Now, he was facing a court martial for mutiny.

"Isn't yours either. You just got caught in the middle of some megalomaniac's bid for more power," Bones asserted.

"Wow. Megalomaniac? Someone's been hitting the books," she teased.

"I was bored without you and I can admit it," he smiled. "Seriously, you have nothing to feel guilty for. I doubt I would've been able to do half of what you did, Jim."

"Oh, please. You're tougher than me."

"Doubt it," Bones sighed. "I'm just me. You… You're the superhero."

"That makes you the sidekick, Bonesy," Jim pointed out.

"That's okay, I can still hang out in the batcave," he chuckled.

"Stark tower," she countered.

"Baxter Building."

"I see your Baxter Building, Bones and I raise you the TARDIS."

"The X-mansion."

Jim smiled, "Justice League Satellite."

"The Fortress of Solitude," they said in unison.

"Just somewhere safe," Jim whispered. "Somewhere where I can close my eyes and relax."

"Works for me," he smiled. "We better go back inside. It's chilly out here and we both need to sleep."

"Go ahead. I can't exactly sleep," she muttered.

"You don't feel safe, do you?" Bones asked. She shrugged. "How about we both sleep in the living room? Grab your pillows and blankets, I'll grab mine and we crash on the couches. I'll even... keep watch for a little while. That's the right term, right?"

Jim looked at him, "Keep watch? Yea, it's the right term... You're serious, aren't you?"

"Yep. Come on." He offered her his hand. Jim let Bones pull her to her feet.

"You're a good friend, Bones."

"I know."

* * *

"Wait… What are you saying about Ole Miss?"

"That's where I'm gonna go to college," Bones told her. "If they'll take me."

"And here I thought you were gonna go to Starfleet with me," she gave him a nudge.

"I told you I wasn't," he said. "You could always come with me."

"Why would I do that? I could just apply to the Academy," Jim said. She looked at her best friend like he was crazy.

"Actually, the University of Mississippi has a Fleet ROTC program," her dad said as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "You could both go undergrad and grad before joining Starfleet. You'd get a semi-normal college experience, a chance to grow up a little more and since you're my kid and George Kirk's kid, it might be the better option for you than jumping right into Starfleet."

"See, Bones, we can both go," she told him. "I'll go to Ole Miss and you join ROTC with me."

"That means I'd have to serve in Starfleet. Thanks but no thanks," he said.

"Pretty please," Jim gave him the puppy dog face. "Come on, you know you want to."

"You aren't gonna let this go, are you?" Bones asked.

"Probably not," she sighed. "Look, we're geniuses, we're gonna fly through school anyway. Hell, I was already working on college credits with Hos… with Hoshi before everything." Jim took a deep breath. Bones, her dad and Grandpa Charlie all looked at her. "Starfleet saved my life, Bones. You're gonna be an amazing doctor one day and the next kid who gets rescued by Starfleet is gonna need a good doctor. Just saying."

"I'll think about it," he said. Jim gave him a big smile. "That's not a yes."

"Yes it is."


	10. Don't Stop Believin'

_Workin' hard to get my fill_  
_Everybody wants a thrill_  
_Payin' anything to roll the dice_  
_Just one more time_  
_Some will win_  
_Some will lose_  
_Some were born to sing the blues_  
_Oh, the movie never ends_  
_It goes on and on and on and on_

Don't Stop Believin' – Journey

* * *

"Come on, Jim," Bones said. At least, that's what she thought he said as he pulled her arm over his shoulder and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I don't think she wants to go with you, man," someone told her friend, trying to tug her away. On instinct, Jim leaned more into Bones' side.

"She can bitch at me later. When she's sober," Bones growled. Jim giggled.

"Your voice is deeper. I just noticed that," she mumbled. "It's pretty hot."

"Yea, well you're drunk so shut up." Even though he was mad at her, she could hear the smile in his voice.

"I had a few but I'm not drunk, Bonesy," Jim chuckled.

"Yea, and I'm a purple pony," he grumbled. That conjured up a vision of her best friend with hooves and a purple mane. Jim couldn't help but laugh. "You idiots realize that's she's fourteen, right?"

"Yea, right. You're lying," someone else said.

"He's not lying. Genius..." she pointed at herself then at Bones, "other genius. Child prodigies. Badasses. Superheroes."

"Yea, yea. Let's go, Wonder Woman," Bones said as he pulled her out of the frat house. "You're lucky I love ya, kid."

"Kid? We're almost the same age," Jim said as they walked down the street.

"Why don't you act like it?" he asked.

"I'm fourteen, I'm supposed to do stupid shit. Considering where I was this time last year… this is nothing."

"Shit. The anniversary is this month. I forgot… sorta," Bones mumbled.

"It's okay. I don't want to remember either," she muttered.

"Is that what that was? You were trying to forget?" he asked.

"Maybe a little. I just wanted to have some fun," Jim said. "All I do is study and ROTC stuff. I just wanted one night where I was remotely normal."

"No such thing as normal, Jimmy," Bones said.

"Easy for you to say, you're more normal than me."

"I don't know about that. I'm flying through school just as fast as you are," he said.

"You know what I mean, Bones. You have friends and stuff," she mumbled.

"They're not really my friends. Just classmates," Bones told her. "You're my friend."

"What about Pamela?" Jim sing-songed. Pamela Branch was a seventeen year old freshmen who caught her friend's eye.

"We're not quite friends," he said.

"Oh, I know. She told me all about it."

"All about what? We were partnered up in advanced biology, that's it."

"Uh huh," Jim snorted.

"What?" Bones stopped walking and turned to face her. "What am I missing, Jim?"

"She told me to stay away from you. Said I was just a weird little girl clinging to you because you're too nice to tell me to get lost," she told him.

"She said that? Jim, I never…"

"I know you never said that. You're not that nice. It's just… thinking about it... What if she's right? Ole Miss was your dream and I just invited myself to tag along. I get the logic in going to a normal college but maybe I should've just stayed in San Fran. Went to UC Berkeley or something."

"You listen to me and you listen good. Yes, Ole Miss was always my dream. This is where my father went to school. Starfleet is your dream. It's where your parents made their lives and why we're both in ROTC. We blended our dreams together and it works for us. Let me make one thing very clear, I like having you here. Hell, I'm the person that suggested you come to Ole Miss with me. The last time we were apart you almost died, it was the scariest five weeks of my life. You're not weird or clingy, and even if you were I wouldn't care because you're my friend and I love you," he said. "I don't know what her deal is but I'll handle Pamela."

"You'll handle Pamela?"

"She upset my best friend, it's on now."

"My hero. What would I do without you, Bonesy?" she chuckled as they started walking again.

"Uh… wake up in a frat house without your virginity and no memory of how it happened," he said.

"Probably," Jim admitted. "Not the best move in the universe."

"No kidding. You gotta stop beating yourself up, Jim," he told her. "And the next time you want to let loose, tell me beforehand so I can go with you. You're lucky that at least one of those guys isn't a total jerk and comm'ed me."

"Okay," she sighed. "Hey, Bonesy?"

"Yea?"

"I love you too," Jim whispered.

"I know."

* * *

"Are you ready?" someone in The Grove yelled.

At once, everyone near the guy, including Jim and Bones yelled back. "Hell Yes! Damn Right!" Then the chant started, " _Hotty Toddy, Gosh almighty. Who the hell are we? Hey! Flim Flam, Bim Bam. Ole Miss, by damn!"_

Jim loves American football. Because it's football.

It was just one of those things that she watched with her dad when he had the time. They'd get snacks, watch the game and he'd tell her about being the captain of his team in high school or stories about her father falling on his ass in the middle of a game to make her mother laugh. Now, she was hanging out before a Rebels football game with Bones and some of the other midshipmen from their ROTC platoon. They were at the game to cheer on their Platoon Commander, Alexa Batista, who plays on the team.

"Who do you think will be the new platoon commander is gonna be when Lexie graduates?" Davison asked her.

"Kirk," McGraw said from behind Jim and Bones.

"It's not gonna be me," Jim shook her head. "Unit Commander thinks I'm too young."

"Youngest Starfleet officer on record is fifteen. You're almost the same age as that kid," McGraw pointed out.

"He's got a point, Jim," Bones said.

"Maybe but I don't want the job. Not yet anyway. I'm pretty sure Davison has it," she chuckled.

"You think?" the Midshipman in question asked.

"Yep," Jim answered. "Your evals are outstanding, you got it in the bag. Now come on, kick off is soon and I want a good seat."

A few hours later, they all celebrated the Rebels' win with pizza and sodas. Final score was twenty-eight to seven.

* * *

"Why are you staring at me?" Bones asked. Jim shook her head. "Tell me?"

"I can't," she whispered.

"Why not?" he asked.

"You'll think I'm crazy… well, crazier."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Why don't you tell me what's up?" Bones said.

"I overheard a conversation today and it got me thinking, that's all."

"About what?" He looked up from his PADD.

"Have you had your first kiss yet?" she asked. He gave her a look. "Some of the girls were talking about their first kisses and I realized that I've never been kissed." She looked down at her hands. "I guess Tarsus threw a wrench in the whole normal progression of teenage milestones."

"Not really. I've never been kissed either and I'm older than you."

"Why not? You're adorable and the accent's cute. I'd kiss you." Jim slapped her hand over her mouth. Did she really just say that out loud? "Oh, God. Ignore me."

"I'd kiss you too," he whispered.

"But…?"

"But nothing. I'd kiss you. Just not right now because you're eating those gross chips."

"So, one day?" she asked.

"One day. Maybe," he smiled. "Now finish your paper."

Jim chuckled, "Sir. Yes, sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess I should explain that given the size of Starfleet there's a good chance that they have an Reserve Officer Training Corps and/or an Officer Candidate School in addition to the Academy and it's annexes. I went with Navy ROTC as my basis for the story since Starfleet is Navy based.
> 
> Also, there's no drinking age ever mentioned in Star Trek, I looked. The idea that Jim has a couple of drinks around the Tarsus anniversary isn't as odd as I thought it would be when I wrote this chapter.


	11. Collide

_I'm quiet you know_  
_You make a first impression_  
_Well, I've found I'm scared to know_  
_I'm always on your mind_

 _Even the best fall down sometimes_  
_Even the stars refuse to shine_  
_Out of the back you fall in time_  
_I somehow find_  
_You and I collide_

Collide – Howie Day

* * *

"You! You did this." Jim sighed at the voice heading her way in the quad. Dealing with Pamela was not on her agenda for the day.

"How can I help you today, Pamela?" Jim asked sarcastically as she kept walking.

"You told Leonard to dump me," the woman growled.

"I can't tell Bones to do anything he doesn't want to do, first of all. Second, dump you? You were never together," Jim pointed out. "Don't be pissed at me if he pointed that out."

"You'll regret this," Pamela said to her.

Jim chuckled and pointed behind Pamela, "Actually, I think you're the one who's gonna regret this."

"Len," Pamela breathed when she turned around. Jim rolled her eyes. She loves Bones but these girls, who were older then him, keep falling all over themselves for his attention and it's a little weird.

"Don't call me that," he said as he walked over to them. "You good, Jim?"

"Fine. Two seconds away from punching the crap outta your friend," Jim answered.

"Don't do that. I had to fix your hand the last time you defended me," Bones chuckled before looking at Pamela. "I told you to leave us alone."

"But…"

"If you have a problem with Jim than you have a problem with me. There's no way to change that, no way to fix it. At the end of the day, I pick her. I'll always pick her. If you honestly think I'll go out with you after you insulted my… Jim then you're crazy," he said before Pamela could say anything. To be honest, Jim didn't know what to say either. "Just let it go."

Pamela looked at him for a long minute before she huffed and walked away.

"You're like a chick magnet," Jim mumbled.

"I have no idea how."

"I told you, it's the accent. Wins every time."

* * *

"What's up with you and McCoy?" McGraw asked when he dropping onto the grass next to Jim.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said without looking up from the physics research on her PADD.

"Ha. You two came out here together, joined ROTC together, live together, spend all your time together and you expect me to believe that nothing's going on?" he asked.

"He has a date later with Elizabeth Dehner," Jim said with a shrug. She was actually scratching her head over that one, Elizabeth was a psych major and Bones hates shrinks.

"Really? I must be off. I could swear you guys gotta vibe. The way you look at each other when the other one isn't paying attention. The protective thing you both do… McCoy's a bit more obvious about it. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it."

"Probably. I mean, we are best friends and we're close."

"Well," McGraw said, "some of the best relationships stem from good friendships."

"Dude, I'll be fifteen in a week, can we not marry me off to my best friend?"

"I'm telling you, there's something there," her friend told her.

She looked at him, McGraw was as serious as she's ever seen him. Maybe he had a point.

Jim sighed, "Your observations are noted."

* * *

"What's your problem?" Jim asked Bones when he walked into their apartment.

"Nothing." It didn't look like nothing. He was running his hands through his thick brown hair and muttering to himself as he paced back and forth on the other side of the room. After a few minutes, he looked at her. "This is your fault."

"What the hell did I do?" she asked, sitting her PADD on the desk. Jim couldn't think of any reason he would be mad at her. They've both been busy in the last weeks of the semester and the only time they were in the same place, they were at ROTC functions, in the same classes or sleeping.

"My date sucked," Bones huffed.

"Okay. What does that have to do with me?" she asked him. Jim didn't particularly like the girl he was going out with but she didn't hate the girl either. Like them, Elizabeth was young, fifteen, and she was sweet. Bones could do much worse. He stared at her but didn't say anything. "Bones, what did I do?"

"Nothing. You're just…"

"What? I'm just what?" She was trying to figure out just what she did that affected his date and pissed him off do much.

"You," he said before he walked across the room and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. Jim opened her mouth a few times to say something but closed it when she realized that she didn't know what to say. "You speechless, that's a first. I spent the whole date thinking about coming home to hang out with you."

"Okay," she breathed. Was that her voice? It sounded like someone else was talking for her. "So…"

"So," he smiled. Jim looked up at him. When the hell did he get so tall? And why didn't she notice the flecks of gold in his eyes when he smiled until now? "Told you I'd kiss you."

"You did," Jim whispered. "Sate your curiosity?"

"That's not what… That's not why I kissed you, Jim."

"Uh huh," she mumbled.

"I like you," he said. "I _like_ you."

"What? Since when?"

Bones chuckled, "I honestly don't know. I just know that I can't stop thinking about you and it's driving me crazy."

"Me?" Jim couldn't believe that she stuttered over the small word. There was no way he liked her like that. "Don't try to make me feel better. I choose not to date those idiots but I don't begrudge you your love life."

"I don't know if I should laugh at that or be pissed off," he grumbled. "I'm not talking out of pity, Jim. I honestly want to go out with you."

"You want to go on a date with me?" she squeaked. "What about Elizabeth?"

"I told her that I didn't think it would work, which is the truth. I can't get you out of my head and I realized that… I don't want to," he paused. "Will you go on a date with me, Jim?"

"I've never been on a date," Jim whispered after a long moment.

"I know. I've only been on three. It won't be anything flashy, just us and food, somewhere other than here. Please."

"Okay, as long as you promise not to kiss another girl when it's over," she told him.

"Why would I do that when I could kiss you?"

"Are you sure I'd let you?" Jim asked with a smirk.

"I'm sure."

* * *

"Okay, Jim. Breathe," Miss Pippa said over the vid-comm.

What do you do when you need girl talk? Comm the closest thing you have to a mom, even if she's the guardian of the boy you need to talk about. After her conversation with Bones, Jim was a little bit confused. Normally, Bones calms her down but he was kinda the problem at the moment.

"You're gonna be fine, sweetie," the older woman said.

"How did I not know any of this?" Jim asked.

"Because you've had a lot on your plate. You have always taken care of everyone and everything that you don't pay attention to yourself. And Lenny is good as keeping things to himself, especially where you're concerned."

"See… _that_. I didn't know he was so worried about me," Jim said. "Or that he liked me like that."

"Yes, you did. If you think about it hard enough you'll realize that even when he's grumbling at you, he still cared. It just took him a while to realize how much he cared," Pippa told her. "And now you know how much he cares too."

"We're going on a date," Jim muttered. "I have no idea what to do."

"Just be yourself. Lenny likes you because you're you, so don't try to be anything other than that and you'll be fine."

Jim sighed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. You're gonna be fine."


	12. Beautiful Soul

_I know that you are something special_   
_To you I'd be always faithful_   
_I want to be what you always needed_   
_Then I hope you'll see the heart in me_

_I don't want another pretty face_   
_I don't want just anyone to hold_   
_I don't want my love to go to waste_   
_I want you and your beautiful soul_

Beautiful Soul – Jesse McCartney

* * *

"Don't open 'em just yet," Bones said.

"Where are we, Bones?" she asked. Jim had no idea where they were. She doesn't like being in the dark and she doesn't like not knowing where she was. It was a good thing that she trusted him so much or she would've opened her eyes ten minutes ago.

"You'll see," he chuckled. "Open your eyes."

"An ice rink?" Jim looked at him. That explains the cold and the dress code he gave her before she got ready. "I uh… I can't skate."

"I can," he told her.

"How did I not know that?"

"Never came up. My folks used to take me to the outdoor rink they set up back home for the holidays. I haven't done it in a few years so I'm a little rusty but I know the basics. I figured I could teach 'em to you. Unless you want to do something else…"

"Are you kidding? This is so cool. Pun intended," she smiled as she watched the little kids on the ice. It can't be that hard if kids younger than them were out there.

"Well, alright then. Let's get our skates on and hit the ice," Bones said before leading her to one of the bleachers so they could switch their footwear. It only took them a few minutes then Bones had her walk around with her blade guards on to get her center before they were ready to hit the ice.

"So, how do I do this?" Jim asked.

"Relax but keep your legs steady. We're gonna stay along the wall until you're ready to let go. Even then, you can always hold onto me if you need to." Considering that he filled out –a lot- in the last year and a half, that was a very welcoming thought. She felt her face flush at the idea and Bones chuckled. "Head on the task at hand, Miss Kirk."

"You're the one who opened your mouth," she muttered. Of course, now she was thinking about his mouth. His lips were so warm and soft and perfect when his kissed her two days ago. She hasn't been able to think of much else since. Why was she a giddy little girl all of a sudden? This is Bones.

Bones who grumbles all the time. Bones who's clean but isn't really organized. Bones who… would do anything in the universe for her. The way he fought for her during and after Tarsus. The way he always listens to her craziness. The way he sometimes sleeps on the floor in her room when she's having a nightmare just so she feels safe. He's a bit of a contradiction but Jim realized that she likes it. She likes him. 'Crap,' Jim thought to herself. Miss Pippa was right, Jim just wasn't paying attention.

"Are you listening to me?" Bones chuckled.

"Don't look at my feet and don't lean back. I heard you," Jim said.

"Just checking. I thought I lost you for a second there," he smiled as they inched along the wall of the ice rink.

"I can think and skate, Bonesy," she said with a smile. "You don't have to wait for me."

"I know I don't but I'm going to."

For a while, Jim inched along and Bones skated next to her. When she finally got enough confidence, Jim decided that she didn't need to hold onto the wall. She almost fell on her ass a few times but Bones always caught her before she fell. That brought on a whole different thought process in her head. She liked being in his arms. On some level, she always known that. He was the only person she actually let touch her in the last almost two years. She thought it was because he was her friend but she was slowly realizing that it was just because he was Bones. Her Bones.

"Your Bones, huh?" he asked. Jim's eyes widened. "Yes, you said that out loud."

"My brain is all wonky right now."

"Because you think of me as being yours? That's not really wrong when you think about it," Bones chuckled. That's what Pippa said, more or less.

"And to think, we used to hate each other," she teased.

"Yea, well. We've grown up a bunch in the last… four years?"

"Almost. Three and a half," Jim shrugged. She also lost her balance and Bones grabbed her around the waist before she could fall. "Thanks."

"Any time," he said with a wink.

Jim looked at him for a long moment, "Did you bring Elizabeth and Pamela skating too?"

"No. I never went out with Pamela. I don't know what her damage is. I took Elizabeth to the movies and dinner. This one is all you."

"I feel so special," she smiled.

"You are special," Bones smiled back. Jim looked at him. "Don't give me that look. You are and you know it."

"Where'd you get all this charm from?"

"Always had it, you're just now noticing it," he said with a wink.

"Sorry it took me so long."

"Don't be. It took me a while to figure it out too."

* * *

"You're staring at me," she sighed as they had dinner. As promised, nothing fancy.

"I'm trying to figure out what to talk about. We already know everything about each other."

"No we don't," Jim said. "We know a lot but not everything."

"Okay. Tell me something I don't know about you," he said.

"I've watched you sleep before… but not in a creepy way."

"Not in a creepy way?" Bones asked.

"You remember that first Red Alert on the Olympus?" she asked. He nodded. "You were terrified and I was so calm but after I came back from you-know-where it was the opposite. Everything just had me on edge… You were so peaceful. I know it sounds crazy but watching you breathe put me to sleep on more than one occasion." Bones looked at her for a long moment. "Now I feel like a crazy idiot."

"No you don't. I watch you sleep sometimes. You twitch and cry when you're having a nightmare. I calm you down and stay to keep an eye on you. I fall asleep on your floor most of the time."

"That I noticed," Jim smiled. "You never mention it though."

"I don't think I need to. No matter how much you tell me about what happened on that colony, I'll never know what it's like to be in your shoes. You're entitled to your pain and your nightmares. I just do what I can do to help get you through 'em."

"You're such a sap," she whispered. It was really sweet how much he wanted to look out for her. All this time she thought she was taking care of him.

"Only where you're concerned, apparently," Bones chuckled.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

* * *

"So, normally, at the end of a date, I'd walk you home," he smiled.

"But since we share an apartment…"

"I'm gonna walk you all the way to your room," Bones said with a chuckle. "It's that or drop you off and walk around outside for a while."

"That's okay with me," she said as he hit the code to their door. Ever the gentleman, he let her through first. Jim could hear her heart beating in her chest. She was nervous, more so now than before.

"Relax," he whispered when they got to her room. Jim took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. "I can't believe that I make you nervous."

"You don't," she mumbled.

"Yes, I do. I can see it in your face. So, I'm not gonna let you overthink this." Before she could asked him what he meant, he pressed a kiss against her lips. It wasn't long and little sloppy but it was also sweet. He pulled away with a smile. "Goodnight, Jim."

"'Night, Bonesy," she said before she stepped into her room. Jim closed the door and leaned against it. She was so confused. There was this warm feeling in her chest that she couldn't describe. Bones made her head all fuzzy and she didn't know which way was up. She ran through everything she could think of and it hit her. "Oh crap, I love him."


	13. Daughters

_Fathers, be good to your daughters_  
_Daughters will love like you do_

Daughters – John Mayer

* * *

"Jim!" a voice called. She smiled at Bones before she looked around and spotted two of her favorite people in the universe.

"Dad. Gramps," Jim smiled as she jogged over to the two men. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Came to visit you kids," her dad said as he wrapped his arms about her in a tight hug. "You're hugging again."

"Only special people… which basically means you guys, Pippa and Bones," she said. When she and Bones left for school, she still wasn't up to being touched and the hug she gave her dad was half-assed at best.

"I see," he chuckled as he let her go so Charlie could hug her too. "You look good, kiddo. You too, Mister McCoy."

"Thanks, dad," she smiled. He gave her a look before glaring at Bones. "You talked to Pippa, didn't you?"

"Yep. She said 'hi, kids.' She also told me that you two went on a date," Chris said. Jim and Bones looked at each other. "More than one apparently."

"Please tell me that's not why you came out here," Jim said. She could almost see the protective dad mode in his eyes.

"It's not. We were off planet for your birthdays, so I figured I'd visit and Hoss decided to tag along," her dad shrugged. Jim smiled at the nickname her dad had for his father. Apparently, handing out nicknames was a trait she picked up from him.

"You picked a hell of a day for that," Bones grumbled.

"Today's the Rebel Challenge Course with our ROTC unit. We were heading home to change. I'm sure Commander Irvine won't mind if you guys want to watch," Jim shrugged.

"I don't think she'll mind either, not since half of you will be on the Yorktown with me for your annual training," her dad said. Jim smiled and opened her mouth but he didn't give her the chance to say anything. "Before you ask, you're not on my ship. Leonard is though."

"They're splitting us up?" Bones asked.

"Of course they are," Jim told him as they started walking again. "It's a reality of Starfleet."

"Your folks served together," he muttered.

"Only because they were married," Grandpa Charlie pointed out. "Hell, me and Chris were only on the same ship because of an emergency with the CO."

So, the whole story surrounding her dad's court martial is that Admiral Straczeskie, her grandfather's former CO, assigned her Chris to the Aldrin to keep an eye on the captain. Kamnach, who worked his way up from enlisted to officer instead of attending the Academy, had a reputation as a good commander who never made mistakes in combat situations, and had earned the loyalty of his crew. However, there were those in Starfleet Command who suspected that he was taking the law into his own hands out in the black.

During that last mission, Kamnach ordered an unprovoked attack on a Vestian vessel, and had the official logs altered to provide justification. Kamnach was then relieved of duty by Chris but one of the officers loyal to the captain fired on the other ship anyway. The Vestians returned fire, Chief engineer Chua was killed in the firefight and Charlie ended up taking over engineering. When the ship got back to Earth after picking Jim and her kids up from the Olympus, Kamnach placed the blame on her dad. At some point, Kamnach even tried to use her time on Tarsus against her dad but the brass shot that down quick. The charges against Commander Pike were dropped, he was promoted to captain and assigned the Yorktown. Kamnach was forced out even though it looks like he left Starfleet quietly with an early retirement.

"Don't mention the 'M' word to them, Hoss," her dad groaned. Jim chuckled.

"Why not?" Gramps asked. "They're not gonna run off and get hitched, son. Jim's not old enough yet, anyway." Age of Majority on Earth is sixteen, with the exception of Starfleet personnel and those who've been emancipated.

"We wouldn't do that anyway," Bones said. "Can you let us figure us out before we talk about 'M' words?"

Her dad looked at Bones before he chuckled, "Sounds good to me. We're still gonna have to talk, Leonard."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"They've been gone a long time," Jim muttered. After they got back from the Rebel Challenge Course, her dad asked Bones to show him around. She knew it was dad talk for 'I'm gonna threaten him without you hearing me' but that didn't stop her from being a little worried.

"Yep," Charlie chuckled. "He won't kill him or anything."

"Which one? If you hadn't noticed, Bones is pretty protective too."

"I have noticed that," Gramps said. Jim gave him a look and he chuckled. "That boy loves you."

"What makes you so sure?" she muttered. Bones cares about her, there's no mistaking that, but she's not sure if it's love. Then again, she's not really an expert on this emotional stuff.

"The first time I saw you two together was right after you and the other kids were transferred to the Aldrin. You were still in medical and I went to visit you but he was in the room when I got there. He tricked you into eating."

Jim knew exactly what her granddad was talking about. She's stubborn. The medical staff couldn't get her to eat, neither could her dad or anyone else except Bones. He traded her a story about Georgia for food, if she stopped eating, he stopped talking. Jim was so off her game that she didn't even realize he tricked her until she was almost done with the bowl of soup and cup of gelatin.

"I was being difficult," she muttered. The days after Tarsus were not her finest moments.

"You do that sometimes," he smiled. "After that I watched you interact and I could see it. There's being there for your friend, then there's love and that boy loves you. According to Chris and Pippa, Leonard hacked the ship's communication system in order to get them to listen to him. He comm'ed the colony when they caught him. Captain Dolman made some comment that you might be ignoring him but he was trying to comm Hoshi on the emergency channel you gave him… that got Dolman's attention."

"Wait. Bones hacked something?" Jim asked.

"Said you taught him," Charlie said. She did but she didn't think he was paying that much attention. "You did, didn't you?"

"Just some stuff I thought would come in handy like basic communications hacks. I had no idea," she sighed.

"Now you do. My advice, ignore your dad's over-protectiveness and just do what you _feel_ is right."

* * *

"Your turn," her dad said as he sat next to her.

"Don't do anything stupid and don't grow up too fast," Jim said.

"Yep and yep."

"I can't promise one and I have no control over the other," she chuckled.

"Where the hell does the time go?" he sighed. "I can still remember the day they handed you to me. You wouldn't talk, you just played with the insignia on my uniform. Now look at you. Working on your degree and a midshipman. I'm impressed, kiddo."

"Your doing. I'm awesome because you told me I was," Jim smiled.

Her dad chuckled, "I used to think I was doing something wrong…dragging you all over the galaxy."

"Your dad dragged you all over the place and you turned out okay… Captain Pike."

"I still can't get over that. I never thought I'd get it this soon. Forty-three is young for a captain. Not the youngest but still," he sighed.

"Don't tell me you're worried, dad. You got this. You're good at what you do and you're good at letting the people around you do what they do. As long as you lead with the same honor and integrity that you taught me, you'll be fine."

"That's actually pretty good advice," her dad smiled. "I swear, kid, you're gonna be one of those women who drowns oceans."

"Only because my dad believes I can do anything."


	14. Chasing Cars

_I don't quite know_  
_How to say_  
 _How I feel_

 _Those three words_  
_Are said too much_  
_They're not enough_

 _If I lay here_  
_If I just lay here_  
_Would you lie with me and just forget the world?_

Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

* * *

"Bones," Jim whispered when she walked into his room.

He blinked his eyes open, "Hey, darlin'. You just gettin' back?"

"Yep," she said.

For the last month, Jim's been on the Farragut and Bones was with her dad on the Yorktown. It was a normal part of the ROTC program to send the midshipmen out just like the Academy does with the cadets. As much as Jim loves being on ships, being away from Bones annoyed the crap out of her. Most people would assume it was because they were boyfriend and girlfriend but Bones knew what bothered her before she could even tell him.

"You look like crap. Beautiful but still like crap," he muttered.

"I know. I'm tired."

"Plenty of room over here," Bones sighed. Jim kicked off her boots, slid outta her jacket and took off her jeans before she climbed into bed with him like she's done a million times before. "How long did it take for you to figure out that you couldn't sleep without me?"

"About a week. It's annoying," she muttered against his shoulder. She soldiered through her insomnia and nightmares, working her ass off in spite –or because- of her exhaustion. "Guess it just means I can't live without you."

"You just now figure that out, darlin'," he chuckled and pressed a kiss on her temple. "I've known that since we were at the cabin."

"Of course you did. You're a lot more observant than you let on, Mister McCoy," Jim whispered.

"Trait of a good doctor, Miss Kirk."

"Uh huh," she mumbled.

"I think you should get some sleep, darlin'," Bones chuckled, his heartbeat already lulling her to sleep.

"Mmm hmm."

* * *

Jim looked around the room when she woke up alone. "Bonesy?"

"Right here," he said as he walked back into the room all flushed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Liar. Your face is red, ears too. What's wrong?" she asked.

"Let it go, darlin'," he mumbled. Jim knew she was onto something.

"Leonard, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing, _Jamison._ I just…" he said before he mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?" Jim asked.

"You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?" Bones asked. Jim just shrugged. "Fine. I uh… you and me… I… I had a boner. Happy now?"

Jim felt the blush creep up her neck as she tried to come up with something to say without laughing. "That's a normal biological…"

"Stop. Just stop," he groaned as he sat on the edge of the bed. "We're not ready for… that."

This conversation was bound to happen at some point. Jim was actually surprised it hasn't come up sooner with all the making out, cuddling and sleeping in the same bed that they do.

"You're right, we're not. That doesn't mean you should be embarrassed about your boner, Bones."

He laughed, "I knew you were gonna say that."

"It's what I do," she smiled. "Look, you're not the only one who gets all hot and bothered. I just… I know I'm not ready so I don't bring it up."

"Really?"

"Yes. Teenage girls think about sex too," Jim smiled. "Especially when you have a hot boyfriend with a sexy accent."

"Says the gorgeous blonde with the bright blue eyes," Bones said. "You're really not upset?"

"Nope. When we're ready to go there, we'll talk about it, okay?" she asked. He nodded. "Can we go back to sleep now?"

"Yea," he sighed before he got back into bed with her.

"Hey, Bones?"

"Yea, darlin'?"

"I love you. You know that, right?" she whispered against his neck. Jim wished she could say she had some big moment where she realized it but the truth is that she just needed to wrap her head around what her heart already knew.

"I know, Jimmy. I love you too."

* * *

"So, what happened after that?" Bones asked as he looked up at her, his head was resting on her legs. They were still in Bones' bed but now they were eating pizza and trading tales of their training cruises.

"We saved the captain and the other officers," she told him.

While on the training cruise, Captain Nechama Rabin, the Farragut's CO and an away team were taken hostage by a group of dissidents while at a ceremony on Vulcan. Jim managed to avoid being captured thanks to Rabin's son and the Vulcan Ambassador's son. The three teens created a diversion and took out as many of the rogue Vulcans as they could so that the captured officers and Vulcans could get away.

"That's pretty badass, darlin'. The most exciting thing I got to do was patch up an engineer by myself. Crazy Scotsman… I don't remember his name."

"Poor thing," Jim smiled.

"I know. I was so bored," he groaned.

"I meant the engineer. I've been your patient before, you grumble at people for getting hurt," she told him.

"Only when they do stupid stuff," Bones said.

"Which is just about everything in your book," Jim pointed out.

"Easy solution to that is not to get hurt," he told her.

"You'd be out of a job before you even started."

"It's okay. I can be a kept man. You could be badass for the both of us," Bones chuckled.

"What if I want to be kept?" she asked.

"You'd never be able to not work, darlin'," he smiled. "You're always busy, always movin'. It's part of who you are."

"Very true. But a girl can still dream," Jim said with a smile.

"Of course you can. I just hope I'm in those dreams."

She nodded, "Me and you with our own ship exploring the universe is at the top of the list."

"That's your favorite one, isn't it?" he asked.

"I don't know why but I'm sure that it's our destiny. We're meant to be amazing."

"If anyone else said that, I would think they were crazy," Bones told her. "But I can see it. You and me with the whole galaxy at our fingertips."

* * *

"I don't want to go to class tomorrow," Jim mumbled.

"Today. It's one in the morning."

"Same difference. I just want to stay right here," she sighed.

Bones' arm tightened around her, "Unfortunately, I actually have to go to class. You can stay in bed if you want. I bet your work is already done for the semester."

"And part of the work for next semester too. I was bored without you," Jim chuckled. "I even got some of my engineering PracApps outta the way on the ship and freed up some space in my schedule."

"So, what are you gonna do with the extra time on your hands?" he asked.

"I'm gonna take some stuff early and an emergency medical class," she told him.

"Really?"

"Promise I made myself on Tarsus. Since I got the time and there's space in the class, I figured why not."

"If you need any help, just tell me," he smiled.

"I will. You schedule your basic engineering class yet?" she asked. "You know you can't get into the fleet without it."

"This semester. That's why I have to go to class tomorrow."

"You know I'll help if you need it," Jim said.

"I know. It's just… engineering isn't my thing."

"You said that about hacking but I heard that you do that pretty well," she reminded him.

"Not well. Just well enough. It was an emergency," he smiled.

"That's why you need engineering too. If we were in a shuttle crash and I was unconscious, what would you do?"

Bones chuckled, "Patch you up and pray that Klingons don't show up and kill us."

"Romulans. Most Klingons wouldn't murder a pair of teenagers, there's no honor in it. The Romulans don't care."

"It's scary that you know that," he muttered.

"I know a lot of things," she pointed out. "And you like it."

"Yes, I do."


	15. Here it Goes Again

_Just when you think that you're in control_  
_just when you think that you've got a hold_  
_just when you get on a roll_  
_here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again._  
_Oh, here it goes again._

Here it goes Again – OK Go

* * *

Jim turned in her last final of the semester that morning and, in doing so, clenched the last of the credits for her bachelor's degree. Bones was behind her by a semester and he still had to study for his medical degree. She hadn't decided what to do. With ROTC, technically, she should go to the Academy for a term before joining the fleet but most people don't finish their degrees in two and a half years. Officially, she had a year and a half before she was required to go to the fleet as per her contract.

"Do you ever stop thinking?" Davison asked her as he handed her a drink. The end of the semester was always marked with a party. In all fairness, a good day was reason enough to have a party somewhere on campus.

"Sometimes. There's a lot on my mind," she told her friend. Davison was off to San Francisco in two days for the last of his Starfleet training.

"Don't wanna leave your boy," he chuckled.

"It's not that. I'm trying to decide if I want to get my master's or not. And if I do, do I want to get it here or at the Academy," Jim shrugged.

"What's McCoy think?"

"Has my back either way. Obviously he wants me to stay but he also knows how much I want to be a Starfleet officer," she sighed. "I hate being a grown-up." When Davison didn't say anything, Jim looked up at him, he was staring behind her. "What?"

"Don't turn around," he said as she made a move to do exactly that. "Seriously. You don't want to see… that."

Jim shrugged him off and looked over her shoulder. Now she knew what he was talking about. Bones and Pamela were in a serious lip lock. "Really?"

"I told you not to turn around," Davison muttered. "Want me to kick his ass?"

"Nope. I got this." Her knee-jerk reaction was to beat the shit out of Bones and Pamela. Fortunately, she took a deep breath, counted to ten and watched them before she walked over and tapped Pamela on the shoulder.

"Hey, Jim," the other girl sing-songed.

"Hi. You done assaulting my boyfriend?" Jim asked. Some people at the party looked at her like she was crazy but Jim knew what she was talking about. The sigh of relief from Bones confirmed her assumption, he would never willing kiss Pamela.

"Oh, sweetie, we were gonna tell you…" Pamela started. Jim burst into laughter. Is this bitch serious? "I know you two were together…"

"Just shut up," Jim groaned. "He didn't even kiss you back. As a matter of fact, he was trying to get away from you. See, Bones has this very respectable character trait of not hitting women unless they're trying to kill him. It's a southern gentleman thing and it's the only reason he didn't punch you."

"I know you…" Pamela tried again but Jim wasn't letting her dig a deeper hole.

"If Leonard McCoy kissed you, your knees would be weak, your face would be flushed and you'd be breathless," Jim said, her voice dropping an octave. She stepped closer to Pamela and wrapped an arm around the girl's waist. "His hand would rest at the small of your back. Not pulling, just holding you against him." She reached up with her other hand and touched Pamela's face. "His fingers would lightly glide along your jaw before he buried them in the hair at the nape of your neck. Then, those hypnotic hazel eyes would lock onto yours and twinkle before he slowly brought your lips together." Jim was now whispering against Pamela's lips. "Everywhere he touched you would tingle and your whole body would crave more. When he pulled away, he'd close his eyes and rest his forehead against yours in an effort to regain some semblance of control. That's what kissing him is like. I should know, I get to feel that every day." She took a breath before she growled, "I don't know what you want from him but I do know that if you ever touch him without his consent again, I will beat your skanky ass to a bloody pulp. We clear?"

"Yes," Pamela whispered.

"Good," Jim smiled and let Pamela go. Not sure what to do, Pamela almost tripped over her feet as she ran from the room.

"Dude! That was hot and badass," Davison exclaimed. "Big question is how'd you know?"

"I know Bones," she chuckled. "You okay, hun?"

"I need to drink a bottle of mouthwash but I'm otherwise fine," Bones sighed.

"How about a beer?" Davison asked and handed over his.

Bones chuckled, "That'll do, man. Thanks. I thought you were gonna murder me for a minute, darling."

"Because she kissed you?" Jim asked. Bones nodded and she laughed. "Almost. Just be glad I took a breather before I came over here. I can't believe her."

"Yes you can," Davison said. "Pamela throws herself at people all the time. I thought she moved on from McCoy but I guess not."

"Oh, she has," Bones said. "I'm pretty sure that she just does it now to piss Jim off. Never works."

Davison looked at her, "That didn't piss you off?"

"It's mildly aggravating but I'm not pissed off," Jim shrugged.

Bones chuckled, "You don't want to see her pissed off. Trust me, it's not pretty."

* * *

"Are you sure that's what you want to do?" Bones asked after a moment.

"It depends, what do you think?"

"I'm your boyfriend, not your father. I think you should do what you want and I'd bet your dad would say the same thing," he told her.

Jim rested her head on the desk and groaned, "You're not helping."

"Yes, I am," Bones said as he rubbed some of the tension out of her shoulders. "You already made up your mind, you just want me to talk you out of it. Besides, I think you'll be done before the year and a half is up anyway."

"You think?"

"You already have more credits then you needed. Normal master's program takes two years, you'll be done in one," he chuckled. "And I'd never be upset that you want to say here with me."

"Of course not," she smiled.

"I won't apologize for being happy that you're not gonna leave."

"It's just until my master's is finished," Jim reminded him.

"Still happy," Bones said with a smile.

She chuckled, "Me too."

* * *

"Have a seat, Kirk," Commander Irvine ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," Jim said as she took the offered seat.

"As I understand it, you've made the decision regarding your graduate training," the officer said.

"Yes, ma'am," the Midshipman replied.

"Starfleet attracts the best and the brightest and I've had a handful of Midshipmen in the last dozen years that have sped through their academics nearly as fast as you did. It does create an issue with their ROTC training since it's not complete. The only options they have are to stay for graduate school or to do additional training at the Academy in order to catch up to their peers. What did you decide?"

"I decided to get my master's in engineering here at Ole Miss, ma'am," Jim said.

"I'm glad to hear it," Irvine told her. "You've always been open about your desire for command and after reading the reports from both of your annual training performance, I've made the decision that this upcoming semester, you will be named you platoon's commander. Don't let me down."

The Platoon Commander works directly for the Company Commander, McGraw in this case. She'll be responsible for everything her platoon does or fails to do. She'll be in charge of making sure that the Midshipmen in the platoon are kept informed about Company and Battalion activities, planning and executing their operation orders, briefing Irvine and her staff prior about assigned orders, and other stuff that would insure her platoon was in above standard condition.

"I'll do my best, ma'am," Jim nodded. She wasn't surprised, she was Davison's pick to replace him when he moved to company commander but they gave it to McGraw. Jim didn't mind, she wasn't ready then but she's ready now.

"That's all I got for you, Lieutenant Kirk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the original version of this chapter had Jim storming off after she saw the kiss and Bones trying his damnedest, and failing, to get Jim to listen. She then runs to San Fran to finish school. However... I couldn't do it. The relationship sabotage thing has been done a million times anyway.


	16. Teenage Dream

_You make me feel_  
_Like I'm livin' a_  
_Teenage dream_  
_The way you turn me on_  
_I can't sleep_  
_Let's run away and_  
_Don't ever look back,_  
_Don't ever look back_

 _My heart stops_  
_When you look at me_  
_Just one touch_  
_Now baby I believe_  
_This is real_  
_So take a chance and_  
_Don't ever look back,_  
_Don't ever look back_

Teenage Dream – Katy Perry

* * *

"Whatcha doin'?" Bones asked as he rested his head on her shoulder and tried reading the PADD in her hands.

"Reading. Risa was officially inducted into the Federation today," she told him. "We lost contact with the Friendship One space probe in the Delta Quadrant. And my dad says hi."

"All very interestin', darlin'," he took the PADD from her hands. "But we have somewhere to be."

Jim looked up at him, "Do we?"

"Yep," Bones tugged her out of the chair.

"Where are we going?" Jim asked as she rested her arms around his shoulders.

"Not tellin'," he whispered against her lips before giving her a soft kiss. "Takes all the fun out of it."

"You do realize that you're gonna have to tell me eventually?"

He chuckled, "I do, but not right this second."

"Smartass," she muttered.

"You like it. Come on," Bones said.

"I should probably change," Jim said, glancing down at the Ole Miss t-shirt she stole from Bones and her jeans.

"Nope. You're prefect. Let's go." Jim was curious to see what he was up to so she didn't fight when he pulled her out of the apartment.

A quick drive later, she looked and took a few deep breaths. "What are we doing here?"

"We are going to pick our own apples," Bones smiled. An apple farm was not even on the list of ideas that she ran though her head on the drive over. Since Bones was still very much a country boy, she should've known better. "Then, we're gonna go home and I'm gonna teach you how to make the McCoy apple pie."

"You're giving me the super-secret McCoy family apple pie recipe?" She looked at him. Jim almost made a quip about saving it for his first born but she stopped herself. That was not a conversation they were having for the next decade… at least.

"I'm the last McCoy so I can give it to anyone I want," he shrugged. "Besides, you're my family. I'm sure the secret will be safe with you."

Jim leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a lingering kiss against his lips. "I'll guard it with my life."

"You better. Come on, darlin', let's get us some apples." Bones grabbed Jim's hand and they were off.

* * *

"What now?" she asked.

"Now we wait, darlin'," Bones chuckled as he wiped his hands off on a towel. "It's only gonna take forty-five minutes."

After spending a few hours picking apples, picking out a couple small pumpkins and goofing off like most fifteen and sixteen year olds, they stopped by the market for other ingredients before going home to try Jim's luck at making a pie from scratch.

"Sounds boring," Jim muttered as she looked through the window on the oven.

"That's because you're not supposed to watch the pie bake and you know it," he sighed before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her out of the kitchen. Jim squirmed when his fingers glided over her side as they sat on the couch. "Somebody is ticklish."

"You know that already," she huffed. "Don't even think about it."

"Too late," Bones smirked before he started tickling her sides. He always went right for the sides.

"Bones, stop," Jim laughed. "Please, Bones."

"Nope."

She tried to squirm and wiggle away from him but Bones knows all her tricks and he had her pinned between himself and the couch before she could do anything about it. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you want to look at it, her whole body chose that moment to become hyper-aware of him. Jim let out a groan or a moan, she's not entirely sure which, and Bones froze.

"Oh, crap. I'm not hurting you, am I, darlin'?" he asked, lifting her shirt a little to see her sides. Of course, now his hands were on her skin. Not that they've never been, because they're curious and teenagers and a little sexual exploration never killed anyone, it just wasn't helping in this moment.

"I'm okay," she squeaked out. 'Nice going, Jim,' she thought to herself. 'There's no way he's gonna believe that.'

"Are you sure?" Bones asked as he watched her face. "I keep forgetting that I'm a little stronger than you now thanks to that stupid growth spurt."

"It wasn't stupid. I'm fine, Bonesy."

"Your mouth says you're fine, your face says you're not," he said. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. My brain just went all lusty, that's it," Jim said just above a whisper.

He smiled that sexy smile at her and Jim was thankful for the couch under her because her knees went weak. "Really?"

"Yes, really. Can you get off of me, now?"

"Do you really want me to?" Bones whispered, his hands resting on her waist.

"No," Jim said before she could stop herself. She took a deep breath and figured that she might as well tell him. "I think…" she paused. "I know that I'm ready." He stared at her. After a few minutes she touched his face. "Bones. It's okay if you're not. I'm just telling you how I feel."

"I…" he smiled. "Me too. Have been for a little while."

"You didn't say anything." Jim lightly punched him in the arm.

"I know, I know. I just didn't know how to bring it up."

"Since when are you coy? You could've even went with 'Hey, Jim, let's do the horizontal mambo'," she chuckled.

"Only you would say something like that. Most girls would hate it," Bones pointed out with a laugh.

"Have I ever been like most girls?"

"Never. It's one of the many reasons why I love you," he told her.

"So…"

"So…"

"Yea."

"Yep."

"We have a pie in the oven," she reminded him. "Wanna fool around until it's done?"

"Uh… yes, please."

* * *

"What are you smiling about?" Bones whispered against her shoulder.

"You. What else?" she whispered back.

To say they had an interesting evening would be a major understatement. Losing your virginity is not all picture perfect like the stupid movies make it seem. But their first time was perfectly them, sweet and shy and awkward and silly and a tiny bit painful but in a good way. Jim was just grateful that her boyfriend aced his anatomy classes. He busted out some stuff that a virgin just shouldn't know.

The second time was much better. Not as shy, not as awkward, just as sweet.

"What about me?" he asked.

"Oh, you know. Just how much I love you."

"That's it, huh?" Bones chuckled. "I love you more."

"Nope, not possible," she smiled.

"Very possible and true."

"We're gonna argue about this all night, aren't we?" Jim chuckled.

"You can just admit I'm right."

"Never," she said. "We could call it a tie."

"I'm listening. Name your terms," he said as he propped himself up in his elbow.

"You love me a lot," Jim said and Bones nodded. "I love you a lot. So, I say we both win."

"Hmm," Bones sighed. "You're quite the negotiator, Miss Kirk."

"Only when something's important, Mister McCoy," she smiled. "Thoughts."

"I love you and you love me, there's no way we could ever lose."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awe. My babies are growing up.


	17. Count on Me

_Hey I love_  
_Hey I need you_  
_Hey I want you do you want me too_

_You can count on me_  
_When you cannot see_  
_Let me spell it out_  
_Plain and simple now_  
_When your numbers called_  
_Backs against the wall_  
_Pick you up when you fall_  
_Be there when you call_

Count on Me – Mat Kearney

* * *

Jim doesn't like being called to Commander Irvine's office at random. It's never happened to her before but it was usually something bad. Jim couldn't come up with anything she's done wrong. Her platoon was above standard when she turned it over in September and took up the company commander position, it was now March. Her grade point average put her second among the graduate students. And since she spent all her free time with Bones, she couldn't have gotten herself into any trouble.

She took a breath and accepted the fact that she was going in blind when Irvine's yeoman told her to go into the office.

"Lieutenant Kirk reporting as ordered, ma'am," Jim said when she walked into the office. It wasn't mandated for her to report while out of uniform but Jim had a certain respect for the officer in front of her, so she did it anyway.

"Have a seat, Kirk," Irvine sighed. Jim sat down and waited. "Three days ago, there was an attack on the USS Yorktown. Your father was injured."

"Is he okay?" Jim barely managed to ask.

"I don't know. The ship will be back in our sector in nineteen hours. I will have you excused from classes so that you can be in San Francisco when they get there," Irvine told her. "If you need anything, all you have to do is ask."

"McCoy," Jim whispered. He's gonna bitch and moan about why space is dangerous but it'll be just what she's needs. "He'll need to be excused too, ma'am."

"Can do," Irvine told her. "I hope your dad's okay."

"Me too."

* * *

Jim raised an eyebrow at Doctor Romero's explanation of what was wrong with her dad. She understood parts of it thanks to her emergency medical class but that was only half of it. "Can you repeat that in Standard or English or Vulcan? I'll even take Andorian."

"The creatures they encountered forcefully probed your dad's mind, causing a traumatic brain injury. Right now, his brain and body are working to repair the damage, that's why he's in a coma. They won't know how severe the damage is until he wakes up," Bones translated the medical talk for her. Doctor Romero looked at him and Bones shrugged. "Working on my MD at Ole Miss."

"Ever consider Starfleet?" the doctor asked. Was this guy seriously trying to recruit Bones right now? She opened her mouth to speak but she didn't get the chance.

"They're in ROTC," Charlie said from his spot on Jim's other side. "What's the plan for Christopher?"

"Right now the only thing we can do is wait. His primary physician will be able to give you the details," Romero told him.

"Can we see him?" she asked.

"You and the chief can but your friend will have to stay out here," the doctor said, giving Bones a look.

"He's my husband," Jim said, they were old enough that it was possible. She knew her grandfather wouldn't say anything and, miraculously, Bones didn't either.

"Oh. Okay," Romero said before he pointed them in the right direction.

Jim, Bones and Charlie made their way to her dad's hospital room. He was pale and thin and it made Jim want to curl up in a ball and cry.

"Oh, dad," she whispered. "What did you do to yourself this time?"

"We were bait," came an unfamiliar voice behind them. The woman in the crisp Starfleet uniform with commander's strips had to be her dad's first officer, Eugenie Robbins. "There were some disappearances and we were diverted to investigate. This ship attacked and took the captain hostage. I led the landing party to rescue him but he was a mess when I got there."

"The enemy ship?" Jim asked.

"He ordered us to destroy it before he lost consciousness, so we did," the woman said. Jim was already starting to like her. "You must be Jim. He talks about you a lot. You're prettier in person."

"And you're Number One. Nice to meet you," Jim sighed. "Wish it didn't take my father being comatose for it to happen."

"Yea. Me too," Robbins sighed. "I should go. I was just stopping by to check on him."

"I'm sure my son wouldn't mind if you stayed," Charlie told the officer but Jim knew she wouldn't.

"It's okay, gramps. She's got his crew to take care of," Jim said. Robbins nodded. "We'll let you know if anything changes."

"Thanks. If you guys need anything just let us know. Everyone on the Yorktown is pulling for him," Robbins told them before making her exit.

"She's nice," Bones said.

"She's okay," Jim chuckled. "I'm still holding out hope that dad'll marry Pippa one day."

"That would make us siblings?"

"Not really. Pippa was only your guardian until last year and dad is not my biological dad. Trust me, no one would ever consider us siblings, Bonesy," she said as she sat next to her dad and held his hand.

"Good thing too, _wife_ ," Bones said. Jim glanced at her grandfather, who mouthed that he wasn't helping her.

"I had to think fast. You're not in his file so you couldn't even pretend to be my brother. Husband was the second best idea," Jim pointed out. "I just can't wait until he wakes up and someone mentions it."

"He'll kill me," Bones sighed.

Jim chuckled, "He'd have to get through me."

* * *

"You look like crap, Jimmy," Chris mumbled.

"Dad," Jim smiled. She sat her PADD down and moved closer. "How you feelin'?"

"I feel like I got hit by a starship. Where's Robbins and my crew? Where are we?" he asked.

He's been out for three days. Jim would've driven herself crazy with worry if it wasn't for the fact that Bones didn't let her. He forced her and Charlie to eat, to sleep, to walk around get some air. She knows he did it because he loves them but that didn't stop her from wanting to do something special for him. She'll have to figure out what.

"They're docked at Starbase One. The commander checks on you a couple times a day. We are at Starfleet Medical Center in San Fran," she said. "You were in a coma. Scared me half to death."

"Sorry, sweetheart. It wasn't my idea," he said just as Pippa walked into the room with Doctor Nance, her dad's primary. Her dad smiled, "Hey, Pip."

"Oh, I see how it is," Jim chuckled. "In a coma for days, nothing anybody could do about it. Pippa gets here and you're wide awake."

"I doubt it has anything to do with me, Jimmy," Pippa said, giving the younger woman a kiss on the top of her head. "I am gonna kick you out though. Nance has to check your dad over and I doubt you want to stay for that. Lenny said he'll meet you down in the courtyard."

"Thanks, Pippa," Jim said before he kissed her dad's cheek. "Grandpa went home to get some sleep but I'll comm him and we'll both be back in a little bit, dad."

"Okay. Love you," he mumbled and Jim was sure he was gonna fall asleep. Bones warned her that even though he was in a coma, he'll still be tired.

"Love you too," she told him before she left the room and made her way through the hospital and outside.

She spotted Bones quickly. He was sitting on a bench with a cup of coffee, looking up at the sky. For a long moment, Jim just watched him, she couldn't help herself. When she walked over, he smiled.

"What's that look all about, darlin'?"

"I think I'm gonna call it the… I'm-gonna-marry-him-one-day look," she told him.

"Hmm. I like that look," Bones said as she sat next to him.

"Dad's awake. Pippa kicked me out." Jim took the cup out of his hands and took a sip. "Since when do you put cream and sugar in your coffee?"

"I don't, it's for you. How's your dad?" He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Jim leaned into him and sighed.

"He recognized me and Pippa. That's a good sign, right?"

"Yep. I'm sure they'll run a few tests on him but it sounds like he still has his memory," Bones told her.

"Which also means he can tell everyone what happened."

"It might not be pretty," her boyfriend reminded her.

Jim smiled, "I know. I'll be fine as long as you're there."

"Always."


	18. Say

_Have no fear for giving in_   
_Have no fear for giving over_   
_You'd better know that in the end_   
_It's better to say too much_   
_Than never to say what you need to say again_

_Even if your hands are shaking_   
_And your faith is broken_   
_Even as the eyes are closing_   
_Do it with a heart wide open_

_Say what you need to say…_

Say – John Mayer

* * *

"He's gonna kill him," Pippa muttered.

"No he won't," Charlie said.

"I'm not there to protect him, so it's possible," Jim told her grandfather. "This is all my fault."

"You didn't have much of a choice," Gramps said. "They weren't gonna let him go back with us unless we said something. I like the boy but no one would believe he was my husband." Jim laughed when he gave her a wink.

"Plenty of people have argued about that stupid regulation for decades. Who defines family?" Pippa sighed. "Once Lenny explains, Chris'll let it go."

"Or tease us mercilessly for the rest of our lives," the younger woman shrugged.

"We're all gonna do that," the doctor told her. "Misses McCoy."

Jim laughed, "I already have two last names, I'm not changing it again."

"You say that now," Bones said as he stepped into the hallway with them. "I can be very convincing."

"Not that convincing," she muttered.

"We'll see. He's asking for Gramps," Bones said. Her grandfather nodded and went to her dad's room while Bones took his vacated seat.

"You're alive," Pippa snickered.

"Barely. First, he reamed me out for not asking him for your hand like a good southern boy should. Then, he grumbled about not being invited to the wedding. Lastly, he made me swear that I'd never, ever, do anything to hurt you," he said.

"Then you told him," Jim said.

"Yea," her boyfriend chuckled. "He looked at me for a whole three minutes before he burst into laughter. I explained why you told the doctors that we were married."

"What he say?" Pippa asked.

"Good job for thinking on our feet but his point was still valid," Bones told her.

"In others words, don't get engaged without asking him and don't elope," Jim said.

"Yep," he chuckled.

"Is that on the radar?" Pippa asked.

"What?" Jim and Bones said in unison.

"Getting married?"

"We got things to do and places to see before we get around to that," Jim sighed.

"What she said," Bones added.

"I'm just asking. Being a couple in an apartment at a civilian college isn't the same as being a couple in Starfleet," Pippa warned them.

Bones was right about Jim's master's degree only taking a year. Unfortunately, it was almost up and he still had a few more years to go before he got his doctorate. So, she was heading to the Academy for a term before she hit the fleet while he stayed at Ole Miss. Where they'll be after that, no one knows.

"She has a point," Bones sighed. "We're about to be split up."

"That doesn't mean we'll break up. It just means we'll have to work on it," Jim said.

Pippa looked at them, "You guys didn't have this conversation yet, did you?" They both shook their heads. "Oh. I didn't mean to bring it up but you might want to talk about it."

"Nothing's gonna change," Jim said.

"Everything's gonna change," Bones countered.

"I'm gonna go grab a cup of coffee," Pippa said, leaving Jim and Bones staring at each other in the lounge.

"What do you mean by that? Everything's gonna change?" she asked.

"It will. We won't want it too but it will. You're gonna be where you're supposed to be and I'm still gonna be at Ole Miss."

"It's not gonna be that long, Bones. Besides, I still have to do a term here. A shuttle ride to Mississippi doesn't take that long," she told him.

"Then you'll be who knows where," he told her.

"It's not gonna be that bad," she told him.

"You always say that," Bones groaned.

"I was right last time and the time before that," Jim pointed out.

"And wrong the time before that," he said. He didn't have to elaborate but she knew he was talking about Tarsus.

She looked at him, really looked. "You're scared."

"I'd be an idiot if I wasn't. Aren't you?"

"Not really," Jim shrugged. "But that's because I love space. Bones, we can't stop bad things from happening to us, it doesn't matter where we are."

"Doesn't make me feel better."

"Wasn't meant to. But I don't think that's what's bothering you," she said. The look on his face told her that she was right. "I'm not gonna dump you."

"You can't guarantee that, darlin'," he sighed.

"Uhh, you have met me, right? I'm Jim Kirk, I can do whatever I want if I put enough energy into it. You know this, you've seen me do it," she said and Bones cracked a tiny smile. "It doesn't matter where we are, I'm your girl and you're my Bones. That's been us since before we got together. It's always gonna be us."

"Until you get around all the officers like you and realize that you could do better than me," Bones muttered.

"I could be that girl and say 'I'll never find anyone better than you' but we both know that's a bunch of crap. Maybe I can do better than you," Jim said. He looked at her with wide eyes. "Doesn't mean anything."

"Oh, it doesn't?"

"Nope. I. Love. _You_."

"That's it?" he asked.

"That's it. I love you. Being here, there or anywhere doesn't change that one bit. Whoever I meet won't change that either. I know that we're young but we're both wise enough to know how we feel. This," she motioned between them, "meant to be."

"How do you always do that?" he said, fighting a smile.

"What?"

Bones chuckled, "You always know what I need to hear."

"It's annoying, I know," Jim smiled. "Truth is that I never know what to say. I just… spill my guts and hope I sound half as good as you do when I'm freaking out."

"You really think it's gonna be okay?" he asked.

"Of course I do."

He smiled, "I love you, you crazy girl."

"Love you too, Bonesy."

* * *

"Hand me that PADD, Misses McCoy," her dad said. Jim rolled her eyes and handed him the small device. She knew he was baiting her, so she didn't say anything. Of course, that only encouraged him. "Nothing to say, Misses Bones?"

"You can't use 'Bones' and you know it," Jim chuckled.

"She speaks," Chris said.

"When I have something to say."

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

"My father was in a coma, I still have work to finish for my master's and my boyfriend thinks that we won't be able to handle being apart."

"Well, I'm awake now. You work fast. He might be right," her dad told her. Jim gave him a look. "People a lot older than you haven't been able to keep it together and you know it." She nodded. "What's the problem?"

"It doesn't have to be like that. I mean, tell me someone stays together," she muttered. So, she wasn't as sure as she told Bones but he didn't need to know that.

"My folks were together twenty-seven years before mom died. Technically, your folks count too," he smiled. "All hope is not lost, kiddo."

"So, I'm not crazy in thinking that it's possible that we won't…?" Jim made an exploding bomb noise at the same time she made a gesture with her hands.

"No, that's not crazy. It's actually pretty tame for you," he chuckled. "You guys just gotta remember to talk and you'll be okay."

"You're sure?"

He smiled, "Of course I'm sure, I'm your dad."

"Thanks for making me feel better."

"Anytime, kiddo."


	19. Here Without You

_I'm here without you, baby_  
_But you're still on my lonely mind_  
_I think about you, baby_  
_And I dream about you all the time_  
_I'm here without you, baby_  
_But you're still with me in my dreams_

Here Without You – 3 Doors Down

* * *

"So, Rules of Separation…" Jim said.

"You're serious?" Bones asked.

"Of course I am. Gramps said that he and Grandma Willa had some rules and it worked out well for them. She wasn't fleet, so they were apart a lot. The rules can be anything we want as long as we both agree to them."

"So, if I say that we have to talk to each other at least twice a week, you would say…?" he asked.

"I would agree to that. Comms blackouts and stints in medical would be exceptions," she chuckled.

"Deal. We both have to hang out with our friends, time permitting. No wallowing around," Bones said.

"Isn't that my line?" Jim chuckled. "I like it. We tell each other how we feel. How we really feel."

"Okay. We'll make plans," he said. Jim raised an eyebrow. "Like make-up birthdays, anniversaries and stuff like that."

"I like that one," she smiled. "No matter what, we have each other's backs, even though we're separated."

"I think we can handle that," Bones smiled. "That it?"

"I think so. Seal it with a kiss?"

He smiled and pressed his lips against hers. "Sealed."

* * *

"Shut up, Mitchell," a girl behind Jim said.

"Oh, come on. You know you're curious," the guy said.

"Curiosity isn't an excuse to be rude. And asking someone about their long deceased father just to satisfy your curiosity is rude," the girl said.

Cadets was Jim's guess about the duo. She's been on the USS Republic long enough for the novelty of her family to have mostly worn off. People either asked her about it or they wanted to but didn't, there wasn't much of a middle ground with the regular crew members. She took a peek over her shoulder to look at the pair. The guy –Mitchell- was almost as tall as Bones with brown hair, brown eyes and a mischievous grin on his face. The girl was about the same height as Jim with her long black hair in a braid and eyes the color of sea foam.

"But Yudrin," Mitchell whined. "She's right there."

"It's okay," Jim finally said. "He can ask."

Mitchell smiled bright, "What's it like being George Kirk's daughter?"

"Annoying. I never met him and people keep asking me that question," she answered.

"I told you," Yudrin said. "Ignore Gary. Someone let it slip that you'd be here and he's been chompin' at the bit to ask you that."

"It's okay. Lieutenant Jim Kirk… but I suppose you already know that," Jim shrugged.

"I'm Phelana Yudrin and the idiot is Gary Mitchell. We're cadets at the Academy, this is our first training cruise," the girl said.

"Nothing like that first cruise," Jim smiled.

"I can't believe you're already an officer," Yudrin chuckled. "You're like twelve."

"ROTC at Ole Miss. And I'm sixteen," Jim said. "Youngest officer in the fleet was fifteen years and three days old when he got commissioned. There are two dozen officers between me and him on the list."

"That's pretty cool," Mitchell said. "What's your branch?"

"Command," Jim said as they walked into the section of the ship where the crew quarters were. "Tactical with a secondary specialty in agricultural engineering," Jim told them.

When it came time for Jim to decide what direction to take her master's in, she picked agro. She came up with some bullshit for the rest of the world but Bones, her dad and the rest of their tiny family knew that Jim was gonna work her ass off to find a way for Tarsus Four to never happen again.

"I'm helm and Yudrin is navigation," Mitchell said. "You're some kind of prodigy, aren't you?" Gary asked as Jim got to her assigned quarters.

"Yep," Jim smiled. "You should get some rest and get settled. If memory serves, you're both on Gamma shift with me."

"Yes, ma'am," both cadets said before they headed off to their quarters.

Jim stepped into her room and sighed, "I'm never gonna get used to being called ma'am."

* * *

"Hey, darlin'," Bones said over vid-comm.

"Hi," she smiled. For a long moment, they stared at each other. Then they started talking at the same time before they burst into laughter. That's how it's been every time she talked to him since she graduated, did her term in San Fran and was assigned to the Republic.

"You first," he chuckled.

"No, I went first last time. You talk first," Jim said.

"Ladies first."

"I hate it when you pull that. I guess it's a good thing that I know what you're gonna ask. I'm getting some sleep. Not nearly as much as you think I should get but it's better now I'm on the ship. I can't have you so I'll have to settle for the hum of the warp core," she said with a smile. "Nothing too big going on. I get to man the con."

"That is big. Gamma shift?" he smiled.

"Yep. I got added to the duty officer roster, so every third Gamma shift, I get the big chair. Not that I get to do much of anything but file the duty log. If I do well, Captain Bannock might move me to Beta shift. I also took up a shift down in engineering just to keep myself busy and my skills sharp. Lieutenant Brown is such a badass. I learned so much about the ship just watching him work."

"Uh huh," Bones said. There was a look on his face that Jim recognized.

"Don't be jealous. If the whole nineteen years between us wasn't a problem, his husband works in commuter programming. The other Lieutenant Brown is also a badass. I gotta get him to teach me some stuff too. How are you?"

"I might graduate from med school sooner than I thought. I'm getting a lot of work done now that I'm here by myself," he sighed.

"You saying I took up all your time, Mister McCoy?"

"All my free time, Miss Kirk. I didn't even notice until last month just how bad it was. I'll go to ask you something and I have to catch myself. It's crazy," Bones chuckled.

"I know the feeling. I woke up yesterday and forgot that you weren't here for a few minutes," Jim sighed. She reached out and he wasn't there. Jim barely stopped herself from calling his name. Her roommate, Lily, already thinks she's crazy. "The only thing keeping me sane is the knowledge that you miss me as much as I miss you."

"I do. I know this is necessary but there's a part of me that just wants to say screw it and get my commission so I can be out there with you," he said.

"You know that there's no guarantee that you'll get this ship. I honestly think you'll get the Yorktown when the time comes," she told him.

"Really?"

"Despite his protective fatherly instincts, my dad is impressed by you. You're a natural care taker and anyone with eyes can tell you're gonna be an amazing doctor," Jim said. "He also loves you."

"More like he loves you too much to let anything happen to me," Bones quipped.

"That too."

" _Lieutenant Kirk, report to the captain_ ," the ship wide comm system called.

"Duty calls," he smiled. "I love you, darlin'. Be safe."

"I'll try. I love you too."

* * *

"May I ask why you picked me for this, sir?" Jim asked the captain.

Bannock nodded, "You look like a high school student. No one would see you as a threat but I know just how wrong an assumption like that is, I served with Chris Pike and I'm friends with Nechama Rabin. She speaks very highly of you."

"It was an honor to serve under her command, even if it was only for a short time," she smiled at the memory of that crazy training cruise.

"She told me that I could trust you. And Rabin doesn't say that very often. Pick your team," he told her.

"Ensign K'ras Thonen and Cadets Mitchell and Yudrin," Jim said.

"I give you free reign of the crew and you pick an ensign and two cadets?" Jim watched as confusion and exasperation crossed his features.

"The look on your face is exactly why I picked them. We're all 'too green' for anyone to expect us to be more than observers to the Axanar Peace Conference. In reality, we're all very well trained and no one would suspect what is essentially a bunch of teenagers to be there to stop an assassination."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Axanar Peace Mission is in both Prime and Nu!Kirk's files.


	20. Something to Believe In

_You say, "Keep my head from going down"_   
_Just for a little, just for a little_   
_Watch my feet float off the ground_   
_Just for a little, just for a little_   
_Love, if you can hear this sound_   
_Oh, just give me something, something to believe in_

Something to Believe In - Parachute

* * *

"So, that means…?" Bones asked.

"I'll be back on Earth for a while. I was invited to take the Advanced Tactical Training course. Can you believe that? I mean, everyone in command wants ATT but I can't believe I got an invite this soon," she smiled.

Advanced Tactical Training was an invitation-only, post-graduate course at the Starfleet Command College. Bannock was sure that her invite would've come sooner if she went to the Academy but Jim wasn't so sure since ATT invites those who capture Tactical Command's attention, from cadets up to commanders. It was only a semester long but that meant she would be temporarily assigned to the Command College for a few months in San Fran.

"I can believe it. You already got a commendation for saving the leaders of Axanar at the conference. You're annoyingly good at what you do, darlin'. I don't know how your brain does what it does but I do know that it's usually amazing," he smiled. "I'm proud of you."

"Bones…" Jim sighed as she felt the blush creep up her neck.

"I am, darlin'. This is why you're out there. You want to make a difference and save people, you're doing that. Now other people are seeing just how amazing you are," Bones said. She could almost feel how proud he was of her.

"Stop," she muttered.

"Why? You're amazing. Beautiful. The goddess. You shine, you always have," he smiled. Jim covered her face with her hands. "Don't you dare… let me see that smile. Come on." She lowered her hands. "There's my girl."

"Can you stop gushing about me, please? You're worse than dad," Jim muttered. You would think the girl saved the world the way her dad went on and on when she talked to him.

"Nope. My girlfriend is awesome and everyone should know it," Bones chuckled.

"You're such a dork," she shook her head.

"You love it," he smiled.

"True. I should let you go," Jim said. "You have a test in the morning and you need to sleep."

"Isn't that my line?"

"Usually. I love you, Bonesy. Good luck tomorrow," she smiled.

"I love you too. Goodnight… or whatever time it is out there."

"Night."

* * *

"How's my favorite person in the universe?"

"What do you want, Mitch?" Jim asked over comm. They'd been back in San Francisco for three whole days and Jim had somehow managed to adopt the cadet that was a whole year younger than her.

"I might need a little help," he said cryptically.

"What kind of help?" she asked.

"The kind where you dress up and help me hit on people," Mitchell said.

"You need a wing-man and Yudrin said no. What makes you think I have nothing better to do?"

"Because you don't," he chuckled. "Your boyfriend is in Mississippi, your dad and granddad are both out in the black. Face it, sweetheart, hanging out with me is better than watching Doctor Who in your pajamas."

"Hey, Doctor Who is awesome," she said. Her love of that show was Bones' fault. She got him hooked on These Are the Voyages and he got her into Doctor Who.

"Not saying it's not. Just saying that you need to get out," Gary said. "You know you want to."

She thought about it for a minute. "Fine but I'm not getting dressed up for you so pick somewhere low-key."

"Works for me," her friend chuckled.

* * *

"I can't believe she kissed you," Mitch chuckled.

"I am cuter than you," Jim said. "I do think she was just messin' with you though."

"What is wrong with me that girls don't like me?"

"For starters, you're fifteen and that girl was like twenty-one," she pointed out. "What am I? And Yudrin? We like you."

"Age is nothing but a number, you're taken and Phan's like my sister," he grumbled.

"Is she?" Jim asked. "You guys… You remind me of me and Bones. Except the other way around because she's older than you."

"How so?"

"Even when we didn't like each other, there was always a connection. We went from reluctant friends to best friends to a couple. You and Yudrin are like we were in the beginning. Friendly but awkward," she told him. "I say, ask her out. Not to be your wing-man but actually ask."

"You think she'll say yes?" Mitchell sighed.

"I don't know. That's why you have to ask," Jim said. "What's the worst that could happen? She turns you down and you're right back where you started."

"There is that," he looked at his feet before he looked at Jim. "You really think I got a shot?"

"I may be wrong but I don't think I am. It took someone else pointing it out for me to realize how much I liked Bones. I'm just paying it forward."

* * *

Jim was exhausted. In addition to taking her ATT course, she signed up for an advanced computer programming class and she got talked into teaching Federation History for the first year cadets. She spent her mornings in classrooms and her afternoons getting pummeled. It didn't help that she's been planet side for a little over two weeks with no signs of slowing down. She entertained the idea of skipping a day of classes just to make a quick trip to Mississippi but Bones told her not to. As much as they wanted to see each other she couldn't tank an invitation-only class.

She was thanking her lucky stars that she was staying in the home she shares with her dad, it meant that she didn't have to deal with people unless she wanted to. And, at this moment, she didn't want to see anything except her bed. On top of being tired, she was also gross since they trained outside in the dirt while it was raining. Jim peeled off her field uniform and let it fall to the floor just inside the front door. She stepped into her bathroom and turned on the water. Jim was too tired for her shower to be anything more than washing the mud and grime off.

Jim wasn't sure how long she stood under the spray of hot water but she felt infinity better when she got out of the shower. Wrapping one towel around her body and running the other through her hair, Jim stepped out of the bathroom and nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Bones?"

He smiled, "Hey, darlin'."

"What are you doing here? How are you here?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I was having a conversation with your granddad, mentioned that we haven't had a chance to see each other since you got back. He told me that it was tragic and he called in a favor with one of his buddies. I got beamed in and I'll be beamed back in seven hours and nineteen minutes, all of which are yours."

"I'm supposed to be the one who comes up with all the cool plans," she whispered against his neck.

"Not today," he chuckled. Bones pressed a lingering kiss against her lips. "Get dressed. I'm gonna make you something to eat."

"But, Bones…" she whined.

"You didn't eat today, I can tell. So, food first, then you can have your way with me, then I'm gonna hold you while you get some much needed rest. How's that sound?"

Jim smiled, "That sounds like a plan."

* * *

"How long you got?" Jim whispered against Bones' neck. She managed to get a little sleep but Bones being here gave her a whole new energy, so she spent a good chuck of the night keeping him awake.

"Fifteen minutes," he muttered as he arms tightened around her.

"I still can't believe Gramps helped you with this," she sighed.

"Oh, please. Gramps loves me, I wouldn't get to call him Gramps if he didn't," Bones chuckled. "He wants us both to be happy and we make each other happy."

"He's such a romantic," Jim smiled.

"He is," he sighed before he pushed himself up and looked around the floor for his clothes. Jim made a move to get up but Bones shook his head. "You should get some more sleep, it's almost five-thirty and you don't have to be anywhere until eight."

"I'm never telling you my schedule again," she muttered.

Bones laughed, "We'll see about that, darlin'."

"I hate this," Jim sighed as she plopped back on her bed.

"I know you do," he chuckled. She felt him climb onto the bed and lean over her. "Look at me." Jim opened her eyes. "We'll get through it."

"I thought I was the optimistic one?"

"You are. But I'm here when you can't be."

"Nothing ever phases you," she muttered.

"Stuff gets to me all the time, you've seen me freak out. I choose not to get all bent out of shape over something as silly as you being a couple thousand miles away. Last month, you weren't even in this sector. We got this, darlin'. We just gotta have a little faith for a little while longer." He pressed a soft kiss against her lips. "I gotta go."

"I know. I love you, Bonesy."

"I love you too."


	21. Two is Better than One

_I remember every look upon your face,_   
_The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste_   
_You make it hard for breathing_   
_'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away_   
_I think of you and everything's okay_   
_I'm finally now believin'_

_And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you_   
_Well maybe two is better than one_   
_There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life_   
_And you've already got me coming undone_   
_And I'm thinking two, is better than one_

Two is Better than One – Boys Like Girls (featuring Taylor Swift)

* * *

"Why is this place all packed up?" Jim asked as she stepped into their place in Mississippi. They managed to see each other a few times since he popped in on her at the beginning of the semester but she hasn't been in their apartment in a little over three weeks.

"I'm moving," he said as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "Consider it a really, really late birthday present."

"Why would your moving be a present? You love this apartment, Bones, that's why we picked it," she sighed, the confusion probably written on her face.

"I do love this place. However, I have no inclination to commute from here to San Francisco every day."

"Wait. What?" Jim looked up at him. "Please tell me that you aren't quitting school."

"I'm not. You know how med school works. The first half is a mix of classroom stuff and some clinical rotations and the second half is mainly patient care. Since I'm done with all my classroom work, I decided that I want to do my clinical training somewhere a little closer to you... a lot closer, actually."

She thought about it for a minute before she smiled. "You're transferring to Starfleet Medical Academy."

"Yep."

Like the Command College, the Starfleet Medical Academy was a post-graduate school on the academy campus that trained nearly seventy percent of the fleet's medical officers. Bones' choice was logical on three fronts. One, he'd be able to speed up his training this way. Two, he'd get to do some training on a ship. Three, they'd get to see each other more often since Jim would be in San Fran when the Republic was there.

The ship was on an Academy training rotation and most of the crew was either working at or was a cadet in the Academy, Jim would be home more often than not for the next few years, barring transfers and emergencies. Like some of her shipmates, she would be teaching a course and she signed up for a couple doctorate-level classes now that she got her ATT rating.

"When did you come up with all this?" Jim finally asked.

"Almost two months ago. I had to talk to Aunt Pip and she told me who to talk to at SMA," he smiled. "Since I already have my commission, it wasn't as hard to apply. I found out that my transfer was approved a few days ago. I didn't tell you in case it didn't happen."

"Bones, what about getting your degree here, at Ole Miss? I thought that's what you always wanted? Your dream?"

"I got my bachelor's degree here, that's enough for me. My dream is to be a doctor, the best doctor I can be, and SMA has some of the best training and research facilities in the quadrant. Being in the same city as you is just a bonus, darlin'."

"So… Where are you gonna live?"

"Well, most of this stuff is going to Aunt Pippa's but I had a nice long talk with your dad," Bones said. "He said that I could stay at his place with you."

"He did not," Jim looked at him. She was surprised. Her dad wasn't old fashioned or a prude but he also wasn't an idiot and he's been an eighteen year old boy before.

"He did. As long as we aren't stupid about it and respect the fact that he's trusting us, I can stay with you. If we can't do that, I'll have to stay at Pip's."

"We're gonna owe him big-time," she chuckled.

"Probably."

* * *

"Guess who's taking the Kobayashi Maru when she gets back from...?" Jim said as she walked in the front door. She stopped when she saw that Bones was sound asleep on the couch surrounded by PADDs. SMA was no joke and he was working his ass off. She had to force him to sleep as much as he's forced her to eat.

She gently pulled the PADD out of his hand, put a pillow under his head, tugged his boots off and covered him with the blanket on the back of the couch before dropping a soft kiss on his temple. Jim decided that she'll wake him up after she made dinner.

Jim was in the kitchen after a quick shower when she heard the front door open. Knowing it was one of only two people, she dried her hands off on a towel to go see if it was Pippa and/or her dad since she knew that Gramps' ship got extended for another month. Jim wasn't surprised to find both her dad and Pippa standing next to the couch with a smile on their faces as they watched Bones sleep.

"When he was little, he used to sleep anywhere," Pippa whispered. "I remember finding him asleep under a desk once. He was three, I think. David ran around Hoystadt Children's Hospital checking every dark-haired, hazel-eyed boy who even remotely looked like Lenny. I sat down to do some paperwork and there he was, curled up at my feet with his favorite blanket."

"He's been working hard," Jim whispered back. Two pairs of eyes, one sky blue and the other gray, shot over to her. "Hi."

"Hey, sweetie," Pippa said as she wrapped her a motherly hug. "You look a lot better than the last time I saw you."

"That idiot isn't in the hospital," Jim said with a wink at her dad.

"Nothing to do with sleeping beauty, huh?" the captain asked.

"I suppose he's partly responsible," she smiled. "Hey, daddy."

Pippa let her go and her dad hugged her too. "Hey, kiddo."

"Welcome back. You guys go get cleaned up for dinner and I'll wake him up," Jim told the older officers.

"Bossy," her dad muttered.

"I'm a command officer, it's our default setting," Jim smiled.

"She has a point. You've been bossing us all around for years. You only notice it now because Jim does it," Pippa chuckled. Chris looked at the doctor and Jim could swear she saw… something. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. "She gave you an order, Chris. Hop to it."

* * *

"Whatcha doing?" Jim asked her dad. He was sitting at the dining room table with a stack of PADDs.

"Reading reports," he smiled. "Grab a seat." Jim grabbed one of the chairs and pulled it closer to him. "This is an after action report from our last mission. Read it over."

"Am I allowed?"

"I wouldn't give it to you if you weren't, LT," her dad said. Jim smiled as she began to read the report.

The Yorktown warped to the Marrat Nebula to help defend Starbase 13 from an attack. After driving off the hostiles, her dad beamed over with an away team to assess the badly damaged station. As Pippa and Yeoman Cusack helped the medical personal set up a triage center to help the starbase's wounded. Commodore Hal Wyeth, the station's commander, told her dad that Thirteen was originally built to help police the dangerous region and the growing attacks were a response by local pirates to a Starfleet plan to bring order to the region in Project Pharos, the building of a huge 'lighthouse' on a nearby planet. In addition to the new plans, while they were drilling the foundations for the lighthouse, the engineering teams found vast amounts of pure dilithium, and the Commodore feared the information was leaked when, two hours earlier, contact was lost with the engineering teams on the planet.

Her dad decided to head to Pharos to look for the engineers. His officers ran sensor sweeps while the science officers analysis of the earlier attack revealed that the attacking fleet was an unusual combination of Orion, Arcturan, Khodini and renegade Human vessels. With evidence of a deadly criminal alliance, her dad moved the ship to Yellow Alert as the Yorktown reached Pharos.

Commander Robbins led the landing party to investigate the lighthouse and quickly found evidence of recent disruptor fire before coming under fire from a group of Klingons. Meanwhile, the Yorktown was also engaged by the Klingons while in orbit, unusually efficient Klingons who took advantage of the Starfleet vessel's weaknesses. They decimated main engineering before their commander, Kaaj, demanded a surrender.

Her dad, being her dad, refused to surrender and Kaaj threatened the Yorktown's destruction and warned that he perceived the ship's defense of Pharos as a Federation ploy to keep the rich dilithium deposits on the unclaimed world below for itself and could lead to war. Coming up with a hail Mary, as soon as the away team beamed back with the survivors, her dad armed phasers and fired on the planet. Pharos ignited into a 'blazing beacon.' The science report estimates that given the vast fuel reserves of the body, the planet will burn for decades to come. Detecting a new group of Federation vessels moving into the area, the Klingons bailed.

"You fired on the planet?" she asked.

"I did. Can you tell me why?"

Jim thought about it. "Everyone was after the dilithium. The immediate threat to the Yorktown aside, with the dilithium there, the starbase was in danger. Ships from all over the place would show up to take over Pharos. By igniting it, you eliminated both the immediate and future threats to the thousands of people on Starbase thirteen."

"What would you have done differently?" he asked her.

"Were there any other ships available?" Jim asked.

"There were," he nodded.

"I would've taken backup," she shrugged. "This Kaaj guy had the drop on you but another ship would've given you the advantage. It wouldn't've stopped any future threats to the planet but the Yorktown wouldn't have been beat up like that. From what I can see in the damage report, it's gonna take nine months or more to fix." Her dad stared at her for a minute. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just… I didn't think of taking another ship until after it was all said and done but it was your first thought. Why?"

"Work smarter, not harder. If you have the resource available you should use it in the best way possible," Jim shrugged.

"And that's why you're gonna make captain one day."


	22. Bent

_If I fall along the way_   
_Pick me up and dust me off_   
_And if I get too tired to make it_   
_Be my breath so I can walk_

_If I need some other love, then_   
_Give me more than I can stand_   
_And when my smile gets old and faded_   
_Wait around I'll smile again_

_Shouldn't be so complicated_   
_Just hold me and then_   
_Oh, just hold me again_

_Can you help me I'm bent_   
_I'm so scared that I'll never_   
_Get put back together_

Bent – Matchbox 20

* * *

"Are you okay?" Bones asked. "And don't you dare lie to me. The news feeds are saying the Republic was almost destroyed. There's a gash on your head, you're in the medbay and you just winced."

"How do you know where I am?" Jim asked. Bones gave her a look. "Fine. I'm hurt but I'm not dead. Consider me one of the lucky ones." Not much point in lying to Bones, he'll just have Pippa look up her medical records. "We were attacked by six pirate ships from Epsilon Canaris three a few hours ago."

"And you're just now getting checked out by medical?" he asked. "Of all the crazy…"

"It's not like I was just hanging out, Bonesy. Half of the Alpha shift bridge crew is either hurt or dead. I was manning the weapons station and apparently I'm the acting XO, I couldn't just get up and leave no matter how much pain I was in. Besides, I saved the ship. Bannock is putting me up for the Decoration of Valor." She winced when she got to the last part because a nurse poking at her swollen knee hurt like a bitch.

"What does the doctor say?" her boyfriend asked.

"He said that my anterior cruciate ligament is torn from when one of the ships rammed us."

"You're gonna be down for a while. Torn ACL takes months to fix."

"I know, he told me that too. The grafting is easy and doesn't take long, they'll do it back on Earth. The rehab, however, means I'm on limited duty. Physical therapy for four months and then a reevaluation," she sighed.

"Good news is that you're seventeen, so you'll probably heal up a little faster than someone older than you," he pointed out.

"Oh, joy. Hopping around on crutches for the next month and PT for months after that is what I've always wanted to do," Jim said sarcastically. "I _really_ like the idea of proving to a medical board that I'm not a broken toy when I try to go back on regular duty."

Bones smiled, "There is an upside to this, Jim."

"Which is?" she asked.

"Limited duty means your orders will change. Since you're already teaching at the Academy, they'll just make it your primary duty. It also means that you'll probably have to do your therapy here," he chuckled. "Where I am."

Jim smiled, "So, there is a silver lining."

* * *

"You don't have to carry me," Jim mumbled.

"You're half asleep," Bones chuckled.

"Good meds," she whispered against his neck.

The surgery to repair her ACL only took forty-five minutes, the wonderful Doctor Boyce offered to tell her the specifics but Jim trusted her dad's long-time friend enough that she didn't need to hear it. The young officer was sedated, Pippa did the repair, put Jim in a brace and let her regain consciousness for a few hours before discharging her. Jim was not happy about being on crutches but Pippa told her not to put weight on her leg. Pippa also prescribed her pain and sleep medication.

"Can you just relax? I gotcha, darlin'," he sighed.

"Fine," Jim sighed. She wanted to argue with him but she was too tired. "One of these days, I'm gonna take care of you."

"What are you talking about? You always take care of me."

* * *

"What are you doing here, kiddo?" her dad asked when he walked into his office, she was sitting on his couch with her eyes closed.

"Resting my eyes. Your yeoman said you were in a meeting," she mumbled. Jim knew she was gonna have to get up soon but she didn't want to. She was only teaching one class and taking one class but walking around on crutches was a lot more tiresome than it looked. Of all the stuff they've managed to heal, why an ACL injury still took so long to bounce back from was beyond her.

"You let officers sleep in here?" a voice Jim didn't recognize asked. She opened her eyes and found a tall man with reddish blonde hair and light green eyes looking at her. 'Oh my God,' she thought to herself. 'There's no way.'

"Just her," the captain said. "Doctor Larry Marvick, my daughter, Lieutenant Jim Kirk." She made a move to get up but her dad stopped her. "Don't even think about it, kiddo. Rest." When Marvick looked at him, her dad pointed at the brace on her leg. "She tore her ACL on a mission."

"I… You're… Uh… I can't… You're Larry Marvick. _The_ Larry Marvick. The warp nine engine you designed for the USS Constitution is a work of art. It's nothing short of impressive," Jim finally managed to say. This man was an engineering God. And he's here, in her dad's office. Marvick was currently assigned to design the ships for the new constitution fleet. She'd give just about anything to be a fly on the wall in the one of those meetings.

"You're a fan?" Marvick asked.

"A huge fan. I got my master's in agro engineering but I spent a good bit of time working on the Republic's weapons and propulsion systems," she said. "I think I've read all of the technical publications that you're even mentioned in."

"It's good to see those things don't go to waste. Why don't you stop by ASDB when you get a chance? I'll give you the short tour and you can take a look at the phaser system we're working on for the next ship in the line. I think Enterprise is the name they're going with," the designer of some of the best ships in the fleet told her.

"ASDB… I wouldn't want to take up your time or get in anybody's way. I'm not that good," Jim muttered. The Advanced Starship Design Bureau was the part of Starfleet that designed starships and conducts research, design reviews and systems simulations.

"She's being modest," her dad said. "Jim's been helping with the Republic's repairs as much as she can from here."

"That sounds like most of the people over at ASDB," Marvick told her. "Really, you should stop by. As a matter of fact, I'm delivering plans to the captain, here. Take a look, I'd love to see what you can come up with." Marvick handed her a PADD before he looked at her dad. "I'll see you next week."

"You got it," her dad said before Marvick left the room.

"Oh my God, Larry Marvick touched my hand," Jim said. "You're so obvious."

"What are you talking about?" he asked innocently.

"You mean to tell me that Doctor Lawrence Marvick hand delivers plans to the prospective captain of each ship he's building. Colt told you I was here, she always does. You asked Marvick to say hi to me. Tell me I'm wrong."

"I may have mentioned that you were a fan, I didn't ask him to come up here, though. He was a meeting downstairs," her dad said. "That said, you're in a rut, kiddo. I know that you're putting a positive spin on it for everyone but… I know what it's like to be frustrated with your own body. You can fool most people but me, Hoss, Pippa, Lenny, we know better."

"I feel helpless, I don't like it," she sighed.

"I know. But you're not helpless. Leaning on me, Leonard or anyone else, doesn't mean you're helpless. It's means you're smart enough to know that you can't do it all on your own."

"You really didn't ask Marvick to talk to me?"

He chuckled, "No, I didn't. I wish I had thought of it though."

* * *

Jim giggled, "That tickles."

"Sorry, darlin'," Bones smiled. He was taking an advanced anatomy class. Jim volunteered to let him draw on her so he could see where the Vulcan bones and organs were.

"Don't be, this is fun," she chuckled.

"Me drawing on you is fun?"

"You've spent the better part of the last two hours with your hands on my body and you're gonna help me wash this off when you're done… so, yea, this is fun."

He laughed, "I didn't even think about it that way."

"You're preoccupied," she said, running her hands through his thick hair.

"So are you," Bones kissed the inside of her wrist. "You're gonna get better."

"I hope so. Be a shame to spend the rest of my career on desk duty."

"Never gonna happen," he smiled. "Only person I know that's more stubborn than me is you. This is all temporary, darlin'."

"Can you stop being optimistic? It's seriously starting to creep me out," she chuckled.

"That's difficult to do when my very hot girlfriend is helping me study in her underwear," he pointed out. "At this moment, I could probably take on the world." Bones kissed her collarbone.

"Can you wait for me to heal up, first?" she asked. "We'll take on the world together."

"Deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim's knee injury is from the TOS novel Crisis on Centaurus. It's how Prime!Jim and Prime!Bones meet. The Farragut was attacked by pirates, Jim saved the ship but got injured. Bones was assigned to Starbase 7, where the ship goes for repairs. Bones is Jim's doctor and they become friends in the months it takes for Jim's knee to heal.


	23. Best Day of My Life

_I howled at the moon with friends_  
_And then the sun came crashing in_  
_Wo-o-o-o-o-oh, wo-o-o-o-o-oh_  
_But all the possibilities_  
_No limits just epiphanies_  
_Wo-o-o-o-o-oh, wo-o-o-o-o-oh_

_I'm never gonna look back_  
_Woah, never gonna give it up_  
_No, just don't wake me now_

_This is gonna be the best day of my life_  
_My li-i-i-i-i-ife_  
_This is gonna be the best day of my life_  
_My li-i-i-i-i-ife_

Best Day of My Life - American Authors

* * *

"Well?" Bones asked when Jim walked out of the small conference room that the Medical Board uses. She looked down at her boots and he sighed. "They want to reevaluate?"

"Nope." She smiled, "Restored to full duty."

"Told you, darlin'!" he said as he pulled her into a big hug. "Lieutenant Kirk is back in business. Wait until you tell your dad. You're gonna outrank him before you know it."

"I'd argue with you but I'm pretty sure he's grooming me for Admiral," Jim chuckled. "I uh… I also got my new orders."

"Where you going and when do you leave?"

"USS Farragut. I get to finish out the semester before I transfer. Besides, they just got back from a tour so I'm not goin' anywhere for a little while, I hope," she said. It was actually a relief. Even though she was back on full duty, she missed a lot of workouts and Pippa made her pinky promise not to overdo it. She had a lot of work to do to get her physicality back to where it was.

"You're relieved," he smiled, his arms still around her.

"Of course I am, I've been waiting to get back on full duty since they put me on limited duty. Oh, and I finally get to take my third crack at the Kobayashi Maru. It was only on hold because of all this," Jim said. The brass told her point blank that there was no reason to let her retake the most poignant test at the Command College if she couldn't walk. She'd have to switch to a planet side job if she didn't heal.

"You still want me to be there?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I? I'm better when you're around."

* * *

"Spock?" Jim was surprised when she spotted the Vulcan Ambassador's son, in a cadet uniform, walking through the quad.

"Lieutenant Kirk."

"Please, it's just Jim and you know it. I thought you were going to the Vulcan Science Academy, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I decided to join Starfleet, Jim," the tall Vulcan told her.

"I can see that. I bet your dad didn't like it one bit," Jim said.

"He did not."

There was something more to all this, Jim was sure, but she wasn't gonna press him. When she met Spock, he was intrigued by the fact that she and David Rabin didn't seem to care about his mixed heritage like most of his Vulcan classmates did. She could tell that he didn't have many friends and she sought to change that as much as she could. They messaged each other a few times a year since they met but the last time they talked, he was about to see the admissions board for the Science Academy. She'd bet just about anything that someone disrespected his Humanity.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"It is nothing that I cannot handle," he said.

"If you need someone to talk to, I'm around… for now, at least," Jim said.

"That is unnecessary."

"And yet, the offer stands," she said. Thinking about it, she smiled. "Hey, if you got some time, I'm taking the Kobayashi Maru next week. You can come man a station in the simulator."

Spock assessed her for a minute, "You are asking if I wish to join you?"

"Yea. Command cadets and officers can't work the simulation unless they've taken it already. I could just go with the random crew I'm assigned but I'd rather have some people I know I can work with. What do you say?" She entertained the idea of Mitchell and Yudrin helping out but they weren't allowed since they were both due to take it within the next year. Her granddad and Bones were gonna be there through.

"It would be agreeable to join you."

* * *

"You like him," Bones whispered against her ear as the simulation was being prepped, his eyes on Spock.

"We're on the road to being friends," she shrugged.

"No. You like him, like him," he chuckled.

Jim looked at her boyfriend, "Seriously, Bones?"

"I get it. He's tall, handsome, brilliant…"

"Like someone else I know," she said.

"Point is, you like him. I should probably be jealous but there's not much point," Bones smiled.

"There's really not. I can admit that I might like him a little but I'm in love with you."

"Which is exactly why I'm not worried," he said with a wink.

"What are you lovebirds talking about?" Gramps asked.

"Nothin' much, chief," Jim said. "Is that as weird to you as it is to me?"

"That I'm outranked by my eighteen year old granddaughter?" he asked. Jim and Bones nodded. "Very weird. It was bad enough when it was just Chris."

"I try not to see him when we're in uniform if I can help it. I slipped the other day and called him dad in front of some of his officers," she chuckled.

"It takes practice… ma'am," Gramps said. "I think they're ready."

Jim looked over as the officer in charge of the test, Commander Yin, nodded and let them into the mock-USS Potemkin Bridge. She assigned Bones to the tactical station, Gramps to helm and Spock to communications. The other stations were filled by cadets, Jim didn't really get their information, it wasn't important at this point.

"You ready?" Bones asked as she sat in the command chair.

"Third time's a charm," she smiled before looking around the bridge then up at the control room. "We're ready to begin."

For the first few minutes of the simulation, they were conducting a simple patrol. Then the message came in. Spock turned in his seat, "Captain, we are receiving a distress signal from the SS Kobayashi Maru. The ship has lost power and is stranded. Starfleet Command has ordered us to rescue the crew."

"Thank you, Mister Spock. Chief, ETA?" she asked.

"Three minutes, Captain," her granddad said as he flew them to the other ship.

"Two Klingon vessels have entered the neutral zone and are locking weapons on us," Bones told her just as they got to the Kobayashi Maru.

"Hail the lead ship," she ordered Spock. Bones and her granddad glanced back at her but neither said anything.

"This is Kozor of the IKS Kh'yem, identify yourself," the simulated Klingon growled.

"This Captain Jim Kirk of the USS Potemkin. You've violated the treaty between our governments. Stand down," Jim said.

"You are in no position to make demands, Human," he said.

"Then it seems we're at an impasse," she said.

"Not from where I'm sitting, Captain Kirk. Leave or we will destroy you," Kozar told her.

"No," Jim said. "I challenge you to a ritual duel to the death on the planetoid off my port and your starboard bow. My only stipulation is that all hostilities must be halted for the duration of the fight. Do you accept my challenge?"

Everyone who ever took the test studied ways to work the system or to fight the other ships but Jim had two tries to realize that the trick might actually be their simulated enemies. Not the ships, but the Klingons in them. While she was healing her knee, she studied Klingon culture and battle tactics. If the simulation was based on a real Klingon, there was a good chance that he'd take the challenge since he'd lose honor amongst his people if he didn't.

The Klingon looked at her for a long moment. "I accept," he told her before the screen went black.

"Jim, what are you doing?" Bones asked.

"She is creating a distraction," Spock said.

"Exactly. While I'm down there with him, beam the Kobayashi Maru's crew over and warp to the nearest starbase," she told them.

"What about you, Captain?" Gramps asked.

"Don't worry about me. You guys just get that crew to safety. Lieutenant McCoy, you have the con," Jim ordered.

"End Simulation," the computer said.

'Damn,' she thought, she was on a roll. Jim looked up at the control room, "Did I just fail again?"

"No, Lieutenant," Commander Yin sighed over the intercom. "I'm pretty sure that... you just passed."

* * *

"I still don't get how you did it," Bones said.

Her dad chuckled, "Everyone reads the parameters wrong. I did. You're supposed to save the Kobayashi Maru's crew and _your ship_. No one said you had to come out alive."

"I pulled a George Kirk. In sacrificing myself as a distraction, I allowed for the rescue and escape to take place before the Klingons would notice. Now, in real life, I'd either be dead like my father or a prisoner but both crews would be safe," Jim said. "It's the win in a no-win scenario."

Bones smiled, "We all know how you feel about no-win scenarios."


	24. King and Lionheart

_Howling ghosts – they reappear_  
_In mountains that are stacked with fear_  
_But you're a king and I'm a lionheart._  
_And in the sea that's painted black,_  
_Creatures lurk below the deck_  
_But you're a king and I'm a lionheart._

_And as the world comes to an end_  
_I'll be here to hold your hand_  
_'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart._

King and Lionheart – Of Monsters and Men

* * *

"Bones," she whispered as she stepped into the exam room. He was staring at a covered figure laying on the bed and he didn't move. "You okay?"

"Did you know that I asked Pip for the report… after my parents…?" He didn't look at her but at least he was talking.

"No," Jim said, "but I'm not surprised. She didn't give it to you."

"Said I didn't need to know, I was too young… yadda, yadda, yadda," Bones sighed. "I found it. Never did read it. I'm not sure if it was because I respect Pippa too much or because of everything going on with you and Tarsus or if I was just scared of what I would find. I still have it… I might actually take a look."

"What happened that brought this on?"

"You hear about the crash earlier?" he asked.

"Yea," Jim nodded. 

One of the cadet shuttles used for training had what appears to be a system failure and fell out of the sky near the residential part of HQ. Nobody on the ground was hurt but there were half a dozen people in the shuttle. Two died in the crash, the others were rushed to medical.

"I got tossed the easy case. I'm a fourth year med student, so I guess it should've been easy," he chuckled. "Kid had a broken leg. He limped into the building and now… he's…" he made a motion to the body on the table.

"This isn't your fault, Bones," she said.

"Oh, I know it's not. What I don't know is why my limping, talking and annoyingly cheerful seventeen year old patient stopped breathing." He looked at her and she could see just how pissed off he was that he hasn't figured out why he lost his patient. He needed to know what he missed. Bones didn't say anything for a moment but Jim could see the wheels turning in his head, "Presented with a broken femur, dead a few hours later. There are only a handful of things it could be. I might need an extra set of hands."

"Extra set," she wiggled her fingers. "What are you gonna do?"

"Run every scan I can think of on him to find the cause of death. We can check to see if there's a problem with this equipment too. I need to know, Jim."

"Of course you do, he's your patient," she said. "We'll figure this out… Well, you will. I'll just look pretty and hand you stuff."

"Very funny," he chuckled.

"I thought it was only a little funny but okay," Jim gave him a small smile. She pulled off the jacket to her black instructor's uniform and set it on one of the short cabinets. "Where do you want me, doc?"

"That machine next to you is the osteogenic stimulator that we used. Think you can look it over for me while I figure this out?"

She nodded, "You got it."

It took nearly an hour of scanning, theorizing and checking over medical equipment to figure out how Cadet Ryan Ibarra died from a broken leg. The only person that came in the room was Pippa to check on them. The veteran doctor didn't offer anything to Bones' search, she just shared a knowing look with Jim before she left them alone. The young officer was sure that Pippa was the reason nobody bothered them.

"No, that's not it either," he whispered. Bones was thinking out loud. He'd have an idea, check it and move on if it didn't mesh with the evidence he had. "A pulmonary embolism…" Bones mumbled. He checked a few things and sighed. "A pulmonary embolism caused by bone marrow from the fracture. That's why his pulse ox tanked and he stopped breathing."

"Can you tell me what that means 'cause..." she pointed to herself, "not a doctor?" Jim only understood the bit about the pulse ox because it's a measurement for blood oxygen levels. The other part was over her head.

"A pulmonary embolism is a blockage of the lung's main artery by a substance that has traveled from somewhere else in the body through the bloodstream. Normally, PE is from a deep vein thrombosis, or a blood clot in a leg, that breaks off and migrates to the lung. In rare cases, like this one, it could be an air or fat instead of a clot. According to this scan," he turned the console so she could see what he was looking at, "fat from his bone marrow got into Ibarra's lungs, probably from all the hopping around he did after the crash. He didn't mention it but I'm sure he had trouble breathing and chest pain. He was more worried about his buddies then himself and wanted me to let him go. Even If I caught it, he wouldn't've made it to the O.R."

"So, there's nothing you could've done?" she asked.

"Not really. In an ideal world, a pulmonary embolism can be fixed but you have to catch it first. Used to be one of the leading causes of sudden death in the world. We've gotten better at finding them but people still die because of PE," Bones told her. He took a deep breath. "Thanks for helping me with this."

"I didn't do anything but look pretty and hand you stuff just like I said I would, Doctor," Jim chuckled.

"Still helped. You think Aunt Pip figured it out already?"

"I have no idea," she lied.

He smiled, "You're a horrible liar."

"Only with you."

* * *

"I don't like this," Jim said to Bones over vid-comm.

"Only because you're the one on Earth and I'm out in the universe being a badass," he smiled.

Doctor Griffin, the Chief of Emergency Medicine at SMA, took the top ten officers and cadets in Bones' med school class on a mission with him to Dramia Two. The group was there to set up a massive inoculation program to save the population of the planet from a strain of the Saurian virus.

"Is that what you call hypospraying the hell out of people?" she asked. "You're not exactly gentle."

"I'm not gentle when you get banged up on purpose. I hope to give you pause when you're about to do something stupid. I want you to think, 'What will Bones inject me with if I get hurt?'" Bones told her.

Jim laughed, "You honestly think that'll work?

"I'm hoping," he smiled. "We're doing good out here, darlin'. The people are nice and very thankful. You'd like this place."

"Mostly because you're there," she said.

"Miss me, huh?"

"Like you even had to ask," Jim smiled.

"I miss you too, darlin'," he said before he looked over his shoulder. "I gotta go. I love you."

"Love you too," she said before the screen went black.

"Sucks being on this side, doesn't it?" her dad asked as he dropped onto the couch next to her.

"What would you know, you've been single as long as I can remember," Jim chuckled.

"I wasn't single, I was just discreet. And I was actually talking about you and Hoss. It's not easy when I'm somewhere and you guys aren't. Last time I thought you were safe, you ended up in a famine that turned into a massacre," he sighed.

"Says the man who came home from a mission in a coma," she pointed out.

"Fair enough," her dad smiled. "He'll be okay, kiddo."

"I know," Jim said.

He laughed, "Still gonna worry about him, aren't you?"

"As much as I always do."

* * *

"You look exhausted, dad," Jim said to her father. The Farragut -which Jim was somehow the second officer of- was out on a survey and training cruise. She knew the Yorktown was supposed to leave for an extended survey of the Pathiad Nebulatae but that shouldn't worry her dad this much. That meant something was wrong.

"Tector has Virillian toxic fever," he sighed. "It took me weeks to figure out my senior staff and now I have two days and nine hours to pick and read-in a new science officer."

"Ouch," she said. "You can't have any of ours."

"I wasn't asking. Though I'm sure Garrovick wouldn't mind sharing," her dad chuckled. Jim thought about it for minute. "You have an idea."

"What if I told you that I knew an expert in astrography, comparative xenobiology, Semiotics, quantum mechanics, warp engineering, physics and some other stuff who is in San Fran right now?"

"I would ask who this person is," he said.

"Cadet First Class Spock," Jim said.

"Your buddy, the Vulcan Ambassador's son?"

"That's him. He's on an accelerated curriculum and he's top of his class at _everything_. It's insanity. Half the departments at the Academy are falling all over themselves about him," she told him. "You need a brilliant scientist, Spock's your guy."

"He's a cadet," he said.

"Give him a provisional rank and count it as a training cruise," Jim said.

"Hmm… I should comm you more often."

"Bullshit, you already thought of this. You just wanted to know what I would do. Why?" she asked.

"Couldn't fool you for long, huh?" he asked. She shook her head. "You want make captain, you have to think like one. I'm just giving you reasons to do so."

"So, continued learning?"

"Pretty much."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to the Early Voyages, Prime!Spock was still a cadet when Pike recruited him for science officer on the Enterprise. Even though the ship isn't built yet, I wanted to keep that part of his character along with his focuses.


	25. Trouble

_Trouble..._   
_Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble_   
_Trouble been doggin' my soul since the day I was born_

_Worry..._   
_Worry, worry, worry, worry_   
_Worry just will not seem to leave my mind alone_

Trouble by Ray LaMontagne

* * *

"I know I'm not gonna like this. Damage report," Commander… Acting Captain Chenowyth said. The officers in the room with them looked at her.

Jim took a deep breath, "We have a dozen and a half hull breaches. The most severe of which is on deck seven and has been sealed off. We're at sixty-one percent of our impulse power. Shields, comms, navigation and sensors are all down. Life support is holding at seventy-three percent. Power's down to fifty-eight percent, so we're in reduced power mode. Of the crew we do have, only forty-nine of us are in any shape to go anything. Medical has maxed out it's capacity, they're using the mess deck for triage."

"Not the cargo bay?" Samuels, the Acting Chief Navigator, asked. That was the standard operating procedure, however, there was nothing standard about this.

"No," Jim sighed. "They're using the cargo bay as the morgue."

The Farragut was performing a survey of planet Tycho Four when the ship was attacked by a creature they have yet to identify. The attack left more than two hundred crewmen dead, including Captain Stephen Garrovick. Jim, who was on the bridge when everything went down, assumed command of the ship. She managed to get them away from the creature and set a course for Starbase Sixteen. Twenty-four hours later, she turned command over to Chenowyth, the ship's first officer.

Offering to help with repairs, Jim was in engineering working on the navigational sensors when the ship was attacked again. This time, it was vicious aliens of unknown origin, unlike anything she's ever seen before, who entered the ship's secondary hull in passenger-carrying projectiles and killed many of the remaining crew, including what was left of the damage control team. Jim and a civilian scientist managed to trigger a saucer separation and evac everyone they could to the primary hull of the Farragut before Chenowyth fired on –and destroyed- the severely damaged half of the ship. Now, the saucer section of the ship was limping towards the starbase with a little over a hundred -of the four hundred and thirty- crewmen still alive.

"Time to Starbase Sixteen?" Chenowyth asked Samuels.

The navigator sighed, "Three days and nine hours… if power and impulse hold."

"Kirk?" the acting captain looked at her.

"As long as nothing else attacks us, they should get us there. I'll see if I can boost impulse without using too much power. Right now, all non-essential systems are shut down so it's gonna be tight, sir," she told him.

On top of being the acting XO, Jim was also the acting chief engineer. Engineering was the hardest hit department on the ship and the team Jim managed to scrape together was made up of anyone with real world engineering experience… and a handful of cadets without any experience. Medical was just as bad and they were taking any able bodies to help out what was left of the medical staff.

"Anything you can do will be appreciated," Chenowyth sighed and looked at the four officers standing in Garrovick's ready room. "I know we've taken heavy losses. I know you all… we all have people to mourn for but right now, the one hundred and seventeen people on what's left of our ship need us to keep it together. You have all gone above and beyond the call of duty and I need you to hang on for three more days."

"We'll get it done, sir," Lieutenant Hernandez, the acting chief science officer who's been helping in medical, said.

After a round of small smiles and nods of agreement, Chenowyth dismissed the officers to their various tasks and duties.

"Kirk, stand fast." After they had the room, he sank into the chair behind the captain's desk. "Have a seat, kid." She sat across from him and Jim could feel her body protest, she was gonna be in so much pain when the adrenaline wore off. "All that training for the big chair and I wasn't prepared for this."

"There's no way to be prepared for this, Chenowyth," she said. While Captain Garrovick didn't really like Jim, his first officer, who served on the ship under Rabin, treated Jim with the same respect he showed every hardworking officer. They weren't friends but they did get along well with each other.

"I suppose that's true," he sighed. Somehow, Jim knew what he was thinking.

"We need a duty roster so that everyone can rest. And we need a causality list," Jim said. The acting captain nodded. "I'll make it happen. You need to get some sleep."

"I'm fine," Chenowyth told her.

"We both know Doctor Moran will just pull you from duty if you don't rest and that's the last thing we need right now."

"Acting CMO for two days and you'd think he's been at it forever," the acting captain chuckled. He was right, the guy was a natural caretaker who reminded her of Bones and Pippa. "You sleep first. I got some rest when I was in medical but you've been on duty for two days."

"Is that an order?" Sleep sounded good but she had a million and three things to do.

"Not unless you force me to make it one. Get some rest and relieve me in six hours. That way Moran won't bitch at us," he said.

"Understood," she said. They sat in silence for a moment as their new reality sank in.

"You did good getting us away from whatever that was. You saved the ship."

"We're not outta the woods yet, sir."

* * *

"Sir, I'm getting something on the RF channel," Lieutenant Nya, the communications officer, said to Jim. The two women managed to fix comms enough that they had short range communications that didn't drain power. Jim was still under the communications panel when they picked up the system.

"On speaker," Jim ordered as she pushed herself up.

" _USS Farragut, this is the USS Hood, come in_ ," an officer repeated over comms.

"Can we talk to them?" Jim asked the Orion.

"No but I can send a signal using Morse code," Nya told her.

"Go ahead and respond."

The other officer nodded while Jim handed the con to the officer at the helm and climbed down to deck four so she could wake up Chenowyth. Together, the pair went to the transporter room just as a group of officers beamed in. Jim swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing full well who was on the Hood.

"I'm Captain Michaela Harrari," a slight woman in command gold said. "Are you all okay?"

"Depends on how we're defining okay. Acting Captain Art Chenowyth. This is Acting Commander Kirk, my XO," Chenowyth said before he gave Captain Harrari a quick rundown. Jim was only half paying attention to them, her eyes on the medical team. "Kirk, why don't you guide these guys to medical."

"Yes, sir. Ladies and gents, this way," Jim said. The whole group followed her as she weaved them through corridors, in and out of Jefferies tubes and around the handful of officers on duty.

"Where is everyone?" one of the female officers asked. "This ship has a crew of over four hundred."

"We had three hundred and thirteen casualties. Of the one hundred and seventeen crew members left, sixty-eight of us are injured and receiving medical care. The forty-nine of us still standing are in two duty sections of twenty-four, split up between medical, engineering and three on the bridge," Jim said.

"Oh my God," the girl whispered.

"It could be worse," the Farragut's acting first officer said.

"How?" the young woman, who Jim was sure was a medical cadet, asked.

"They could all be dead," Bones said from the back of the group. Jim nodded but didn't say anything. He was pissed off enough as it was and she was not adding fuel to that fire. They got to the medbay and Jim stopped.

"The worst cases are in here. Everyone else is down the corridor in the mess hall," she told the group. Jim took a breath and before she let them go, she looked over the whole group. "Look, a lot of medical officers died in the two attacks. Most of the medical staff we have are volunteers from other departments. They're all working their asses off with next to no sleep and limited resources, so don't be assholes to them or you'll have to deal with me."

"Yes, sir," the group said and Jim stepped out of their way.

"You okay?" Bones stood in front of her and said just above a whisper.

"I watched my captain die two days ago," she told him.

"That's a no," he said as his eyes checked her over.

"I'll be fine for now, too many people need me to be," Jim said. "We have work to do. We'll talk about this later."

"Yes, ma'am, we will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This mission is referenced in the TOS episode Obsession when the Enterprise encounters the first creature and Kirk is obsessed with destroying it.


	26. Mad World

_And I find it kinda funny_  
_I find it kinda sad_  
_The dreams in which I'm dying_  
_Are the best I've ever had_  
_I find it hard to tell you_  
_I find it hard to take_  
_When people run in circles_  
_It's a very, very mad world, mad world_

Mad World – Tears for Fears

* * *

Jim really hates medical. There was just something about this place that unnerves her. Maybe it was the way the medics treated her after Tarsus or something she picked up from her dad, she doesn't really know. Sadly, her orders were to get checked over and get some sleep. After a long conversation, it was decided to evac the Farragut's crew to the Hood and tow the damaged ship to the starbase. It would still take them two and a half days but that was better than nothing.

Jim sat on the bio bed and played with the hem of her gold shirt while she waited for the unlucky person that got stuck giving her an exam. That's when she looked up and caught a glimpse of Bones heading in her direction.

He had ditched his blue uniform tunic since the last time she saw him and pushed up the sleeves to his black undershirt. His hair was a mess but he otherwise looked good, like really good. Calm, confident, determined. Bones was still very much the white-knuckled boy who hated space but he was also evolving right before her eyes. If Jim didn't know that he was still a few months from having his MD, she never would've guessed. And if the way Griffin talked to him was any indication, Bones was already viewed as an equal.

"I'll try to make this painless, I know how much you hate sickbay," he said as he sat his PADD and tricorder on the bed next to her.

"I don't mind too much. You're in here and it's the first real break I've had since this whole thing started," she chuckled as he took her hand, his fingers touching her wrist and his eyes on her chest. Anyone else would take that the wrong way but Jim knew that Bones liked to check vitals without the tricorder as much as he could.

"Your pulse is a little faster than I'd like," Bones said as he checked her eyes.

"You're touching me," Jim said with a wink. It was the truth, her heart still does that fluttery thing, she can't help it.

"You're a brat."

"You like it."

"Maybe," he smiled. "How do you feel?" She opened her mouth but he cut her off. "I should rephrase that. What doesn't hurt?"

"My hair and my toes," she said. "I'll save us some both some time. I'm exhausted. I haven't had real food in days. I banged my side when we evacuated the secondary hull and it's bruised something fierce. I also have a migraine the size of a small nebula."

"Did Jamison T. Kirk just offer up medical information?" Bones asked. "Usually you fight with me."

"I'm too tired to fight with you," she mumbled.

"I know, darlin'," he whispered as he ran the tricorder over her to see just what he was dealing with. "Your whole system is outta whack. You have a mild case of hypoglycemia… low blood sugar. That plus the electrolyte and vitamin deficiencies are making your migraine worse. It's what you get for not eating." He lifted the side of her shirts. "It's not too bad. I've seen you get worse bruises working out with your dad."

"He's gonna flip," Jim sighed.

"He knows you're okay. I already talked to him. I told him you'd comm after you got some rest," Bones said. "He's proud of you. So am I."

"I don't know why. I didn't do anything special," she shrugged.

"Are you kidding? You saved your crew."

"I did my job," Jim said. "We all did."

"That's not what I heard. Injured officers talk, darlin'," he said. Jim gave him a look and, being the genius he is, Bones dropped the subject. "I'm gonna gave you a mild painkiller. Should help with your side and your migraine. Get something to eat and go to bed. I'll come check on you when I get a chance."

"I should probably find out where my room is," she winced as he hyposprayed her in the neck.

"Deck six, section two, room two-D-one-one-two," Bones said. Jim raised an eyebrow. "It's my room, I have no idea where they actually put you. Passcode is the same as the one we had in Mississippi." She smiled that he still used their mix of parental birthdays. Jim had switched to using his birthday years ago, her birthday is public record so using it is a bad idea.

"Thanks, Bones," she sighed.

"You're welcome. Now, get outta sickbay before I find a reason to keep you."

"That sounds interesting," Jim teased. Bones gave her a look and she chuckled. "I'm going. I'm going."

* * *

"Do you know why you're here, Lieutenant?" Admiral Oryss th'qelass, the Chief of Starfleet Operations, asked her. Being called to see the person in charge of fleet ops was either really good or really bad.

"No, sir," she replied to the tall Andorian officer.

"I read the reports from the Farragut and the Hood. Do you want to know what the general consensus is?" the admiral asked her.

"I have an idea, sir," Jim said.

"All but one report calls you a hero. Yours," he told her. "Captain Chenowyth, in particular, is rather impressed by you. He said, and I quote, 'Lieutenant Kirk is a fine young officer who performed with uncommon bravery. I recommend that she be meritoriously promoted to the rank of Lieutenant Commander.' There's more, of course. Not to mention similar sentiments from Captain Harrari, Doctors Moran, Chin and Griffin, and Commodore Pierce at Starbase Sixteen."

Jim didn't say anything. In all fairness, she didn't know what to say. As far as she's concerned, she didn't do anything heroic. She just saved the people she could save. Jim honestly didn't see what all the fuss was about, anyone with half a brain would've done what she did.

"I performed my duties to the best of my ability, sir," she finally said.

"And then some according to your own report," he picked up a PADD. "You laid down the facts and you give credit to those around you but your actions were still heroic. So," he looked at her, "I'm inclined to agree with Chenowyth and the others. Effective immediately, I hereby promote you to the rank of Lieutenant Commander and enter a commendation for valor into your service record. You did an outstanding job, Miss Kirk, and I have a feeling that this is just the beginning."

* * *

Jim should've gone home but she found herself sitting at the memorial wall. All this talk of heroes and promotions pissed her off and this seemed to be the only place where it wasn't a topic of discussion. She gets why it was happening, even if she didn't like the idea of earning her rank on the blood of her shipmates. She spent her life around great officers but she never saw herself as one. Maybe it's humility, maybe it's something else. In either case, she didn't like it. It all seemed a bit wrong to her.

The way Jim saw it, she was just lucky. She should've died on Tarsus, on the Republic and on the Farragut. Somehow, she seemed to be turning survival into an art form. Do A, don't do B, plan for C, shake once and live through whatever bullshit was going on that day.

If it wasn't for her dad, she'd be losing her mind. He explained his similar feelings from his meritorious promotions. The regrets, the sadness, the guilt. He didn't like being rewarded for not dying any more than she did.

"If you got any advice, now would be a good time, dad," she muttered to George. He wasn't there and he couldn't do anything but it never hurt to ask for a little divine intervention.

* * *

"Well look at you, darlin'," Bones said when he spotted her standing outside the nursery in her dress grays. She decided that a visit to the hospital might make her feel better.

"Please don't tell me you like this uniform all of a sudden," she chuckled.

"Not usually but you look good in it. How'd your meetings go?" he asked after giving her a quick kiss.

"Just peachy. They're scuttling the Farragut and reassigning what's left of the crew," Jim said. "Oh, me and Chenowyth both got promoted."

"Not surprised," Bones said as he smiled at the babies on the other side of the glass. Jim gave him a look. "I'm not. You had to know it was coming."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it. Three quarters of the crew died."

He chuckled, "Doesn't change the fact that you saved the rest, Jim."

"That doesn't make me a hero. It makes me a good officer," she pointed out.

"When you look at me, what do you see?" Bones asked her.

"What?"

"Just, for shits and giggles, what do you see?" he asked again. "And skip over the part about me being hot because I already know that."

"Honestly, brilliance. You're so… there's no way to describe it but I'm in awe of you," she told him. She wasn't gonna tell him about the rumor she heard about Griffin recommending him for a promotion when he graduates. Jim knew that it was probably gonna happen but she didn't want to tell him in case it didn't.

"You want to know what I think about myself?" Bones asked. She nodded, curious where he was going with this. "I'm not where I should be yet. I worry about getting things right, even when I know them. I'm worried that I'm not anywhere near good enough for you…" Jim made a move to argue with him. "Don't. I already know what you're gonna say. My point is, I don't see what you see. Just like you don't see what the rest of us see. You might not think that you're a hero but you are."

"So are you," Jim said. "I saw you on the ship."

"I just did my job," he said. "Oh, I see your point. I guess there is a solution."

"What's that?"

"We get into a whole bunch of trouble," Bones chuckled.

"No. We'll just have to get used to it," she said.

"That too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Chenowyth said about Jim's bravery is an actual quote from Jim's canon file.


	27. Some Say

_Some say we'll never get it off the ground_   
_Some say we'll never make it out of town_   
_That someday we'll end up a world apart_   
_And some say we're a couple of crazy kids_   
_And some say that's exactly what they did_   
_And I say you got to go with your heart_   
_And baby, look where we are_

Some Say - Rascal Flatts

* * *

"Doctor Leonard H. McCoy," she said it again just to feel it roll off her tongue.

"Stop it. It's not that big of a deal," Bones said but Jim wasn't having it. Especially with that smile on his face.

"You're a doctor. An actual doctor. That's huge, Bonesy." It was official. Bones took his last test, did his last student shift in the hospital and got his degree. Bones was now a real, honest to God medical doctor.

"I'm just glad to be done with school. There's no need to make this big…"

"Too late. I'm gonna make a big deal out of it because you're awesome and amazing and the whole universe should know it," she told him.

"Jim," he groaned. "Please."

"Fine but we're going out for dinner tonight to celebrate," Jim said.

"No, we're not. I would like to keep it simple if that's okay with you," he told her. She stared at him for a long moment. His classmates were excited about getting their MDs but he didn't seem to be. Jim thought about it for a long minute before she realized what was wrong.

"You wish they were here." It wasn't a question, she knew Bones. He missed his parents and all the excitement was just a reminder that they were gone.

"Yea," Bones sighed. "I always imagined spending this day with my dad. That disarming smile he always had and way his hugs always made me feel like I could do anything. He'd probably make some comment about joining the family business and making plans for our own practice together. I can even imagine it. Me and him taking care of everyone from old ladies to little kids. My mom running the office. You stopping by to bring us lunch. I know, it's crazy…"

"The warp core," she whispered. He raised an eyebrow and Jim smiled. "According to dad, I would sit at my mother's feet and just watch as she worked on stuff. I don't remember a lot about Winona but I do remember that she used to hum all the time. Whenever the warp core kicks in… I can almost hear her. The first time it happened, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I burst into tears. Luckily, I was just a kid so nobody thought anything of it. Now, it's a welcome feeling, like someone's looking out for me. Wanting them here isn't crazy. As a matter of fact, missing our parents is probably the most normal thing about either of us."

"Never thought I'd hear us and normal in the same sentence." The sarcasm was clear as a bell.

"I know, right?" Jim chuckled. "How about this, I'll order dinner from that Chinese place you like and we'll watch a bunch of movies on mute and make up our own stories? I'll even let you pick the movies."

"That sounds like my kind of party. Thank you," he smiled.

She gave him a soft kiss, "Anytime, Doctor McCoy."

"God, stop it," Bones chuckled.

"Just you wait until Pippa comms, she's never gonna let you hear the end of it."

* * *

"I can't tell if you're excited that we're both on the same ship or if you're excited to be on _this_ ship," Bones whispered as they walked to their new quarters.

"It's the ship," she told him honestly.

He gave her a look, "I think that hurt my feelings, darlin'."

Jim was still feeling a bit guilty over the whole thing with the Farragut. Bones, her dad and everyone else in their small family seemed to understand and left her to sort through her feelings, knowing they were there when she was ready to talk about it. When she was offered shore duty, Jim seriously considered taking it but when the captain of the Constitution personally requested her for the senior staff, the engineer in her couldn't pass that up. Bones being here didn't hurt.

"Oh, please. You know that I love you, but you were assigned to this ship by rotation _after_ I was requested by the captain. Which, I'm pretty sure had something to do with Doctor Marvick. Anyway, the Constitution is the prototype for a new class of cruiser. Most of our missions are gonna be shakedowns to test out new systems and equipment. I'm the Chief Tactical Officer _and_ the Assistant Chief Engineer. Do you know what means?"

"You get to hang out in engineering when you're not on the bridge," Bones chuckled.

"Exactly," Jim smiled. "So, as happy as I am to have you here with me, the both of us being assigned to this ship at the same time is purely coincidence."

"And the whole thing with the quarters?" he asked.

"We're Lieutenant Commanders, Bones. Technically, we both get our own quarters. I simply filed a request for us to share," she said.

Couples –or triads- in the same room was a semi-common practice. It was required that they file the appropriate paperwork with the fleet to recognize their relationship and have the approval of the ship's CO. Newer relationships and those among younger officers –who weren't married- were usually turned down but couples like Jim and Bones, who joined up together and have almost a decade of history, were approved with little to no problem.

"How do you know I wanted to share with you?" Bones asked.

"It's not like we don't already live together," Jim chuckled. "I figured that you wouldn't mind."

"I don't, I'm just messing with you," he smiled.

She shook her head and opened the door, "If you say so… Doctor McCoy."

* * *

"There's the hero," Mitchell said from behind here.

"Shhh. Don't do that, please," she said to her friend as he caught up to her in the corridor. There were some people on the ship who knew who she was and what happened on the Farragut but she didn't feel the need to broadcast it to anyone else. "I don't like the attention."

"Fair enough," he smiled. "You get settled alright?"

"Yep. Me and Bones both. I heard about you and Yudrin. Sorry, dude."

"It's okay. We tried, it didn't work. We're mature enough to move on. She's on the Thorne," Gary shrugged. He wanted to appear tough but Jim knew his heart was a little broken.

"I love Yud but it's her loss," Jim smiled.

"Awe, thanks, Jimmy," he chuckled. "Come on, I'll buy you breakfast before our shift."

"Uh huh. More like you're gonna fill me in on all the gossip before we have to be on the bridge. How'd you'd end up on Alpha shift anyway?" she asked.

"You think you're the only badass around here?" Gary asked.

"I know I'm not," Jim said. "I'm just curious."

"It's a long story that ends with me pulling some kick ass maneuvers and getting us away from some Klingons," he smiled. "Nothing special."

"That's what I tell people but it goes in one ear and out the other," she chuckled.

Gary smiled, "Such is the fate of heroes, my friend."

* * *

"Honey, I'm home," Jim said when she walked into her and Bones' quarters.

"Hello, dear. How was your day?" he asked, playing along.

"Well, my new boss is nice. I like my workspace and I get to hang out with Mitchell. Oh, and someone already hates me," she chuckled.

"Seriously?"

"Yep. Lieutenant Jack Gaynor. He's the Chief of Security and he was in line to be the second officer…"

Bones nodded, "But Augenthaler appointed you to the position so he's stuck at third officer."

"That's why you're the smart one and I'm the pretty one," she smiled as she dropped into the seat next to him. "How was your day, sweetheart?"

"It was good. Patched up a few engineers and some idiots who hurt themselves sparring, nothing major, darlin'," he smiled. "I know it's just day one but I could get used to this."

"Me too," Jim smiled. "You have dinner yet?"

"Nope, I was waiting for you."

"I feel so special, my love."

"You are special," he said. "Come on. Food awaits."

"Before we go, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything, you know that," Bones said.

Jim smiled, "I uh… I was talking to Mitch about his failed relationship. And I… I had this thought when I was on the bridge and I um…"

"Spit it out, darlin'," he chuckled.

"Would you… This isn't me asking… I think… I know we haven't really talked about it but…" She took a deep breath, "Would you ever want to get married?"


	28. No Words

_I could burn your ear off all about space._  
_Why we have a moon and why the moon has a face._  
_If the earth is spinning, why we all stay in place?_  
_Why we can't walk, it's gotta be a space race._  
_But what can I say,_  
_that's gonna' blow her mind away?_  
_Tryna write a classic, not a throwaway._  
_All I've seen, all I've heard,_  
_when it comes to you, there are no, there are no, there are no words, no words._

No Words – The Script

* * *

"Oh my God. Don't answer that," she said. "Don't say anything. I don't even know why I said anything. That was way outta left field and I shouldn't have… Can we pretend that I didn't just ask you that? Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"

"No, we can't," Bones said with a smile.

"This is why I should've let them put us in separate rooms," Jim muttered to herself.

"So you could avoid me for the next week and end up having to talk to me about it anyway? Too late for that, darlin'," he chuckled.

She looked at him, "Are you laughing at me?"

"A little," Bones shrugged. "You're cute when you're freaking out over something that, frankly, isn't that that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal, Bones? I just asked you to marry me," Jim huffed.

"No, you didn't. You asked me if I would ever want to get married. The questions are similar but not the same," he smiled. Bones ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "To be honest…"

Whatever Bones was about to say was cut off by the ship's Red Alert going off. 'Seriously?' Jim asked herself. Part of her was happy, she wasn't sure if she even wanted to know what he was gonna say, the other part of her was upset that she didn't get an answer to the question that's been on her brain all day.

Bones gave her a quick kiss, "We'll talk about this later. I love you."

"Love you too," she sighed before they left their quarters and went in different directions, Jim to the bridge and Bones to medical.

* * *

Two days. She hasn't seen Bones in almost two whole days. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if not for the fact that they share quarters. He's been in there at least once to change his uniform but it was sometime after Jim stopped by to get a few hours of sleep. If she didn't know any better, she's think he was avoiding her. He wasn't.

The Constitution diverted from their scan of the Briar Patch to help a civilian ship that had mechanical problems near Nausicaa. A bit too close to the anarchic planet to seek help from them but also too far away from anything else. The Federation ship ended up beaming over four dozen people before it exploded. Eighteen of them were in medical for one thing or another under CMO, Doctor Christina Velasquez, and Bones' care. The others were Lieutenant Borrik, the Chief Communications Officer, and Jim's responsibility. Usually, it would be the Chief of Security's job, and Gaynor was begrudgingly keeping track of their guests, but there was some cultural thing in play were the women weren't allowed to talk to men and Jim offered to help with the non-medical stuff.

"Hi," Bones said when Jim stepped into their quarters.

"Hi," she sighed. "Were you waiting on me?" It was like one in the morning on the ship's clock.

"Yep," he smiled. "I was planning to make a stop on the bridge for Alpha shift if I didn't see you tonight."

"Would've been a bad idea," Jim said.

"No kidding. I'd have to explain to the captain why I was there. I'd also have to hope you were actually on the bridge and not with our guests. I'm guessing that's where you've been."

"You're half right. I was in a meeting with the civilian ship's captain and ours. The plan is to take them back to Sol with us and let them sort themselves out from there. Then I was in engineering," she smiled as she headed for the bedroom area of "I'm gonna go take a shower. I'm wiped."

"The answer is yes, by the way. I've thought about it. A lot." Jim stopped dead in her tracks and turned around to find that Bones wasn't in the desk chair where he was when she came in. He was in front of her on one knee.

"Don't you dare," Jim whispered. She was tired and she needed a shower and he was not doing this to her right now.

"Too late," he chuckled. "I've been trying to come up with the right thing to say for weeks. Just don't laugh at me."

"Why would I…?" she asked quietly. "Weeks?" Jim only brought it up two days ago.

Bones nodded. "'An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force'."

"Newton's first law. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Object in motion," Bones pointed to himself. "Unbalanced force," he pointed at her. Jim couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips. "I thought I got enough of a push when my parents died, then I crashed into you. For a long time I couldn't figure it out. How we became friends or why we stayed friends. When Tarsus happened, it was like someone was tap-dancing on my heart. That's when I knew that I couldn't live without you. I knew I would do anything to make sure you were okay. It only got worse at Ole Miss…"

"Bones," she whispered.

"I can't breathe without you, darlin'. I don't want to. Here I am on a starship out in the middle of wherever we are despite how much I hate space because it's where you are," he said. "I… Jim, I love you with all my heart. I always will. I was gonna wait to do this but I can't wait anymore. So, Jamison Tabitha Kirk-Pike, will you marry me?"

She opened her mouth a few times, not sure what to say and Jim was sure she probably looked like a fish. "I... Yes."

Bones was on his feet in a millisecond, his arms around her and his lips against hers. Jim kissed him back with everything she had. When they pulled away, she couldn't help but laugh a little.

"I've been going crazy for two days thinking I shot myself in the foot," Jim said, tears rolling down her face.

"I figured as much, idiot. You should've known better," Bones chuckled.

"How the hell was I supposed to know you were gonna ask?"

It's been mentioned a bunch of times, usually as a joke, in the last four and a half years but she never _really_ thought about it until recently. While they've been old enough for a while, most nineteen and twenty -almost twenty and twenty one- year olds aren't rushing off to get married. Then again, her mother was a few months younger than Jim is now when she and George got hitched.

"Because you've seen the box with the ring in it a million times," he told her.

"I what?" Jim wasn't sure what surprised her more, the fact that there was a ring or that she somehow saw the box already. Bones took her hand and pulled her into their bedroom, opened the compartment where his clothes were stored and pulled out a small blue box. "Oh my God."

"You wear my clothes when you're off duty all the time and never even noticed," Bones said with a smile as he opened the box and took out a silver ring with a square deep blue turquoise stone that Jim's seen a bunch of holos.

"That's my mother's engagement ring. How the hell did you…? Dad."

"I had a very uncomfortable conversation with him before we left Earth. He told me the story about helping George find this ring for your mother." Winona had two rings, the gold and onyx one that she always wore, even after George died, and this one that Jim thought was lost in the fire. Bones slid the ring on her finger, "Perfect fit."

"We're engaged," she whispered.

"We are," Bones said, his eyes on hers.

"I love you."

He smiled, "I love you too."


	29. Pride (In the Name of Love)

_One man come in the name of love_   
_One man come and go_   
_One man come, he to justify_   
_One man to overthrow_

_In the name of love_   
_What more in the name of love_   
_In the name of love_   
_What more in the name of love_

Pride (In the Name of Love) – U2

* * *

"I can't believe that you knew about this. I should hit you the next time I see you," she said to the other man she loved more than anything over vid-comm.

"I might let you. Lemme see," her dad said with a big smile.

"You sound like such a girl," Jim said, holding up her hand.

"Hey, my kid is getting married, I'm allowed. It looks good on you. I'm glad he picked that one over the other one."

"Me too, that thing is huge. You know, most dads would freak out about this," she reminded him.

"I'm not most dads. For starters, I already love that kid. Then, there's the fact that he asked me. Not to mention that I know that he'd die for you in a heartbeat. Overall, I don't really have anything to freak out about," he smiled. "Unless you want to have some huge wedding."

"Uh… no. That's not gonna happen," Jim shook her head. "Combined, we have more fingers than we have friends and family. Besides, the press'll go nuts if they even hear about the Kelvin Baby getting married. We decided that we're not even gonna set a date. When we can get you, Pip and Gramps in the same place, we'll do it. That's the mandatory list, anyone else will just be extra."

"Awww, look at you, already making decisions as part of a unit," her dad teased.

"Shut up before I start talking about you and Pippa," Jim said.

"Don't know what you're talking about," he told her.

"Why are you blushing?"

Her dad chuckled, "I'm not. Pip and I have been friends for a very long time it's…"

"Complicated. I'm not buying it," she said.

"I went on a date with Robbins," he sighed. "More than one, actually."

"You're not an idiot. So why on God's green Earth would you do something like that?" Jim asked.

"You said that you like Number One," he reminded her.

"As your first officer, not as a potential step-mom," she sighed. "What's Pippa think?"

"She's supportive," her dad said.

"You know what? I was wrong, you are an idiot," Jim said. "That woman loves you."

"I love her too, she's one of my best…"

"No, dad. She _loves_ you. Not in the 'friends' category either. For some reason, everyone in the quadrant knows that but you," she told him. "I bet Robbins does too. What's more, you love Pip and you just don't realize it."

"No way. I think you rattled your head a few too many times, kiddo," her dad chuckled.

"Ask Gramps. We had a long conversation about it a few weeks ago," Jim said.

"You did not," he said. Jim just looked at him. "You did."

"Seriously, dad, you need to really think about it. I gotta go. I'm supposed to have dinner with Bones, Mitch and Borrik," she smiled. "Tell everyone we said hi."

"Can do. Love you, Misses Bones," he chuckled.

"I love you too, dad," Jim laughed. "Kirk out."

* * *

"What the hell is going on in here?" Jim asked as she walked into the rec room. Mitch and Borrick each had a grip on a very pissed off Bones. He wasn't fighting them, he just stood there and took a deep breath before he looked at her, glared at Gaynor and looked at Jim again. The Chief of Security gave her a look as some of the other officers held him back.

"Nothing, sir," one of the officers in the room said to her.

"I'm a lot of things but an idiot isn't one of them," she told the guy in the red shirt. "What happened, McCoy?"

"Nothing I can repeat," Bones said.

"Go to your quarters and standby. The rest of you, clear out. Gaynor, stand fast." Jim and Gaynor watched everyone leave the room before they looked at each other. "You have something you need to say to me, now's the time."

"I'm good, _Kirk_ ," he spat her name at her.

"If you're gonna be an asshole, it's Lieutenant Commander. And you're more transparent than a viewport," she chuckled. "Look, I get it, you don't like me. You seem to think I came in here and took the second officer spot from you. What you don't realize is that I was requested. And it's a good thing too because you have no idea what it takes to be in command. You can't even control your emotions on the ship when you don't get your way, how the hell are you gonna lead anyone?"

"That's not the point," he said. "I worked my ass off for that spot."

"That is the point," Jim told him. "You seem to think that I didn't work for it. That it didn't take a lot of work to get here. That it didn't take a lot of losses to get here."

"Oh please. You expect me to believe that?" Jack growled. "You're a Kirk, all you have to do is show up."

"That's not even remotely true. You don't know what I've fought through to get here. My name has nothing to with my ability to do my job and it sure as hell doesn't keep me or anyone else safe. Do you know what happened on the Farragut? Or the Republic before that?"

"No."

"For twenty-three hours, eighteen minutes and thirty-nine seconds I had the chair on the Farragut. My captain died three feet away from me and I didn't even know if the XO was alive. I spent a whole day terrified that I was actually the captain, more terrified then I was of dying. We lost three hundred and seventeen in total when the dust settled. Are you ready for that? For the lives everyone on this ship to be in your hands? It's the reality of my position. You don't have to like me, you don't even have to respect me, but you will respect the uniform. I earned my stripes with blood, sweat and tears, just like you."

Commander Hirota walked into the room and looked at her, "Everything okay here, Kirk?"

"Yes, sir. Lieutenant Gaynor and I were just setting some things straight," she said. Someone must've told him that something was up. The XO gave Jim and Jack a look before he walked away. Jim was sure she'd have to talk with him about this later.

"You could've told him."

"That you were trying to pick a fight with a senior medical officer who outranks you? At best, you'd get extra duty and tossed to the bottom of the promotions list. I wouldn't tank your career because you pissed off my fiancé. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself," Jim said honestly. Bones doesn't need her to protect him but she'd do it anyway if it became necessary, just like he'd do for her.

"You're serious."

"Yep. I don't know what you said that pissed him off so bad and I don't want to know. Just make sure you never do it again because I won't protect you from him next time," she sighed. "Way I see it, you got two options. You can keep being an asshole who has a tantrum every time I'm mentioned, which gets no one anywhere, or you could suck it up and try to work with me."

Gaynor looked at her for a long moment. "I'll think about it but I'm not promising anything."

"Fair enough."

* * *

"He called you a…"

"I don't care, Bones," she cut him off mid-sentence.

"Really?"

"It's either something that's not true or it's something that is. I refuse to be pissed off about lies or rumors and I can't change something that's already happened. Either way, it doesn't matter. You can be pissed for the both of us."

"Why doesn't this bother you?" he asked her.

"Because insults aren't important enough to be upset about." Bones gave her a look. Jim smiled, "'For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind'."

"Ralph Waldo Emerson. I know that one," he chuckled. "You really don't want to know?"

"I really don't," she said before pressing a kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Thank you for sticking up for me. It's very sweet."

"Yea, well…" Bones smiled.

"It's hot. You all pissed off and ready to defend my honor."

"Hmm, is it?" he asked with a smirk.

"It is," Jim whispered against his neck.

"Well, I am a gentlemen, Miss Kirk."

"Yea… a gentlemen who made me miss dinner," she reminded him.

"I'll make it up to you."

"You bet your ass you will."


	30. We Weren't Born to Follow

_This one's about anyone who does it differently_  
_This one's about the one who cusses and spits_  
_This ain't about our livin' in a fantasy_  
_This ain't about givin' up or givin' in_  
_Yeah, yeah, yeah_

_We weren't born to follow_  
_Come on and get up off your knees_  
_When life is a bitter pill to swallow_  
_You gotta hold on to what you believe_  
_Believe that the sun will shine tomorrow_  
_And that your saints and sinners bleed_  
_We weren't born to follow_  
_You gotta stand up for what you believe_

We Weren't Born to Follow – Bon Jovi

* * *

"Will that even work?" Velasquez asked. Jim and Borrik looked at each other. It was a fifty/fifty thing but it was the best plan they could come up with.

The Constitution was on a mission to Sordinia IV to investigate why six alien satellites were orbiting the planet. Of course, the orbiting turned into a bombardment of the major areas. Being the ranking officer on the ship, Jim was forced to assume command from the duty officer after they lost contact with Captain Augenthaler and Commander Hirota on the surface. Gaynor was at the weapons station on the bridge when they entered orbit and he disabled one of the satellites' weapons before they were forced to withdraw.

"It'll be close but it should work," Gaynor said, agreeing with Jim and Borrik's plan to send a team to infiltrate the satellite he had disabled and take down the networked platforms from there, despite the risk of heavy damage. "We're only gonna get one shot at it though."

"I'll do it," Lieutenant Anita Jankowski, the chief engineer offered. "I'll take one of the computer programmers with me."

"That sounds good. Take a security detail too, just in case. Head over, bring the system down and we'll pull you out when you're done," Jim said to the officer. "Everyone else will maintain battle stations. I have feeling that this is gonna get worse before it gets better. Dismissed."

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Jim asked from the command chair.

"Muon burst, sir," Ensign Polcovich, the officer manning the science console, called. "It's wreaking havoc on our shields and we have systems dropping all over the place."

"Where did it come from?" Jim asked.

"The satellite," Gaynor said. "I bet it's getting us all primed for that ship on approach. Sir, we need to bail out. If that ship's weapons are even remotely the same as the satellites, we're screwed."

"I'm not leaving them over there to die. If we fall back, that's exactly what we'd be doing," Jim said. "Have the transporter room on standby, it's gonna be tight. Keep an eye on that ship."

"You got it," Gaynor nodded. They weren't gonna be the best of friends, but they somehow managed to work together really well now that Gaynor wasn't being a jerk.

Jim didn't like waiting. Her whole being was itching for something to do besides sit in the command chair and hand out orders. 'Note to self, be an active captain,' she thought as she listened to the officers around her.

"The other ship is almost in range," Mansfield said from the tactical console.

"Park says that Lynch isn't finished with their network," Borrik told her. "Orders?"

It was a tricky decision. She could leave them over there to finish the job and risk getting them killed or she could pull them out, which would take everyone back to square one. It wasn't just the ship at risk, there was a whole planet in danger that she had to consider. Jim sighed, "How much time do they need?"

"A few minutes," Borrik said.

"Sir, we don't have a few minutes," Gaynor said. "That ship will tear us apart."

"Maybe it will, maybe it won't, I don't know. What I do know is that there are four billion people on that planet, including the captain, and we're the only ones that can give them a fighting chance. We keep that ship focused on us while we let Lynch and Jan do their jobs. Mitch," she looked at her friend who was manning helm controls. He gave her a nod and his hands went flying over the console. "Gaynor?" The security chief, who was on weapons, looked like he wanted to argue with her but he didn't, he just gave her a nod and got to work.

Being a distraction wasn't as easy as it sounds. They were trying not to get themselves killed while also protecting their officers in the damaged satellite. It didn't help that they were a bit outmatched and every minute they fought with this ship felt like an hour.

If Jim wasn't on the bridge she would've laughed as she thought to herself, 'Bones is never gonna let me hear the end of this.'

* * *

"Captain on the bridge," Borrik called.

"Welcome back, sir," Jim said as she stood from the chair.

"Good to be back. I see you all had an interesting few days," Augenthaler chuckled.

"Nothing we couldn't handle, Captain," she said. "How's Commander Hirota?"

"Got himself banged up pretty good helping some kids but medical says he'll be okay," he sighed. "Bring me up to speed, Miss Kirk."

They destroyed what they now know was a N'shaii mothership. From the information that Lynch and Jankowski found while they were in the system, the N'shaii was a humanoid race that was split into a number of different factions who had competed with each other for millennia. Their favorite past time was apparently to see how many populated planets that one faction could hold. This was their typical method of invasion, place a number of autonomous satellites in orbit of the planet and bombard the major population centers below. Once the planet had been softened up, a mothership could move in and complete the invasion. Unfortunately for them, the Constitution was there to defend the planet before the N'shaii could take it.

The ship was a mess. Thanks to that stupid muon burst, there were systems down all over the ship. Since the N'shaii had more advanced weapons, there was massive damage to the Federation vessel. Sickbay was full of injured officers but how nobody died was still a mystery to Jim.

"Good job," the captain said to her.

"Thank you, sir, but it was a team effort. Lynch, Jankowski, Gaynor and Mitchell, especially," she said.

"I'm sure I'll see just how much in your report," Augenthaler said.

"Yes, sir."

"Go get some sleep, Kirk. The rest of you should call up your reliefs as well," he ordered. "Nice work, everyone."

Jim smiled as she stepped into the turbolift. Gaynor and Mitch stepped in with her. The security officer looked at her, "How'd you know that would work?"

"Didn't," she shrugged.

"But you had so much… faith. I… How…?" Gaynor started.

"There was this British writer, James Allen, who once said 'A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself.' I had no idea if our plan was gonna work or not, the trick is not letting anyone see my doubt. I'll see you guys later." Jim stepped off the lift and walked to medical.

"Please don't be hurt," Bones said as she walked into the room.

"I'm not. How long have you been in here?" Bones was on duty when this whole thing started two days ago. Knowing him as well as she does, Jim could almost guarantee that he hasn't slowed down since.

"Uh… I'm not entirely sure," he told her as he finished wrapping an engineer's hand.

"Two days," she told him.

"Is this you telling me to go to bed?" Bones chuckled.

"Not just you. Captain relieved everybody who's been on duty during this crisis. That includes you and Velasquez, Bonesy."

"This place is…" he started.

"Not as full as it was three hours ago. All major injuries have been taken care of. The junior medical officers can handle the minor stuff," Doctor Velasquez said from behind Bones. "She's right, McCoy, we need to get some rest."

"God, you're as bad as Pippa," Bones told the CMO.

Velasquez chuckled, "I'll take a comparison to Philippa Boyce any day. Now, go."

"You too," Jim told the older doctor.

The older woman smiled, "As soon as I fill Watson in, I'm off to bed."

* * *

"It felt good, Bones," she smiled. "For two days, I was the captain of this ship. And I know it's been a crappy couple of days but I can't get over that feeling. It doesn't hurt that nobody died this time around."

"You're not gonna let me sleep, are you?" he asked, his accent thicker than usual. "I can think of something much better to do with all this energy."

"What would that be, Doctor?" Jim asked as Bones slipped his arm around her and rolled onto his back, pulling Jim on top of him, her knees astride his hips.

"You tell me, Captain Kirk," Bones smiled. Jim could feel him hardening against her thigh.

"I'm obligated to tell you that I'm a very bad patient," she whispered against his lips.

He nipped at her bottom lip before he chuckled, "Well, you're in luck. I happen to be a very good doctor."


	31. Through Glass

_How do you feel? That is the question_  
_But I forget you don't expect an easy answer_  
_When something like a soul becomes initialized_  
_And folded up like paper dolls and little notes_  
_You can't expect a bit of hope_

_So while you're outside looking in_  
_Describing what you see_  
_Remember what you're staring at is me_

_'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass_  
_Don't know how much time has passed_  
_All I know is that it feels like forever_  
_And no one ever tells you that forever feels like home_  
_Sitting all alone inside your head…_

_And it's the stars_  
_the stars_  
_that shine for you_

Through Glass – Stone Sour

* * *

"You okay?" Mitch asked as Jim and Bones sat with him and Borrik at the table.

"I'm perfectly fine aside from the fact that _everyone keeps staring at me_ ," Jim said, the last few words louder than necessary. Some of the officers in their immediate vicinity looked away.

Today was January fourth, twenty-two fifty-three, Jim's twentieth birthday. It was also the twentieth anniversary of the day her father died. Usually, she could fly under the radar on her birthday, but no such luck this year. The fleet was making a big deal about it and that meant Jim's semi-anonymity was blown all to hell. People who hadn't already figured out that she was George Kirk's daughter knew now. She went from being a respected officer to a walking museum exhibit overnight. If another person asks her about her father, she's gonna hurt somebody.

"Does this mean I should cancel the cake?" Gary asked with a mischievous smirk. Before Jim could answer him, Bones did.

"You know that she doesn't..."

"Doesn't like cake. Yea, I know, I'm just making sure she's paying attention," Mitch chuckled.

"Who doesn't like cake?" Jankowski said as she joined them.

"Kirk," Borrik told her. "I've never had cake, so I don't know if I'd like it or not."

"You've never had cake?" Gary shook his head. "Hopeless. You're all utterly hopeless."

"He's lucky we love him," Jan whispered.

"Yep. Otherwise, I'd let Bones loose on him," Jim chuckled. Gary could be annoyingly chipper but he was their friend and they loved him for it.

"You'd have your fiancé fight your battles? I didn't know you had it in you, Jimmy," Mitch smiled.

Bones laughed, "She could take you with one arm tied behind her back. If she sent me to deal with you, I'll just hypo your ass and let you drool on the floor."

"I'd pay to see that," Borrik said causing everyone, aside from Gary, to laugh.

"Me too," Jankowski chuckled.

"Hey, that hurts my feelings," Gary pouted.

"You have feelings?" Bones asked with a smile.

"You're all jerks," Mitch laughed. "Anyway. My original point was that you should be glad. I wish people knew my birthday."

"March twenty-seventh, twenty-two thirty-four," Jim replied automatically.

"Of course you know what it is, you know everything," Gary said.

"No I don't. I know a lot of things but not everything," Jim told him. "Now, the point _I_ was trying to make wasn't that people know my birthday, I could honestly care less. I just wish they would stop staring at me. I have enough of a problem with this day and they're making it worse."

It took years for her to stop blaming herself for George's death. Part of her always knew it wasn't her fault but she still had those moments when she couldn't help but think that if he hadn't been so hell-bent on saving her and her mother, her father could've made it out alive. She certainly wouldn't feel like a bug in a mason jar right now.

"What do you usually do on your birthday?" Borrik asked after a long moment. Not really changing the subject but moving to something that wasn't nearly as depressing as thinking about the father she didn't know.

"Bake," Bones chuckled before telling them about the first birthday they spent together. "I teach her a different recipe every year, even if we're apart."

"That's sweet. What's on deck this year?" Jankowski asked.

"Blueberry crunch muffins," Bones said.

"You need a taste tester?" Gary asked with a wink.

Jim rolled her eyes, "Sure, why not."

* * *

"Bones, where are we?" she asked.

It was two weeks after her birthday –two days before his- and the pair was on leave on Earth. Jim had no idea where they were or what they'd be doing since Bones was being tight-lipped about it. He didn't let her handle anything and it was starting to frustrate her.

"You'll see in a few minutes, darlin'," he smiled.

"Not even a hint?"

"'After time adrift among open stars, along tides of light and through shoals of dust, I will return to where I began'," he said.

"I know that from somewhere…" she muttered. "The Mass Effect movies."

"Yes, but that's not the point. Focus on the words," Bones told her.

Jim thought about it for a few minutes before she smiled. "We're not?"

"We are," he chuckled.

"I thought you couldn't go back."

"I'm not entirely sure that I can actually go in the house. I figured that I could give it a try with you here," Bones smiled.

"Always," she told him. "So, what should I expect?"

"It should be mostly the same as I described to you," he said as they pulled up to a house at the end of a long road.

"This is the McCoy family home? It's beautiful."

"Yes, it is. I still haven't decided what I'm gonna do with it," Bones told her as he opened her car door. Bones didn't even realize that he owned the place until Pippa told him a few months ago. The older doctor had someone taking care of it for him this whole time.

"You sure you don't want to keep it? We could come out here when we have time off like dad does with the cabin in Mojave," she said. Jim would kill for her parent's house. All she got was a set of nearly indestructible metal footlockers that belonged to her parents and some other small stuff that they pulled out of the rubble of the Kirk house in Riverside.

"Maybe. I don't know," he shrugged as they looked at the front of the house. "Wanna see the inside?"

"Yes."

* * *

"Oh my God. How old were you?" Jim asked as she looked at a holo of a little Bones sitting on a tree branch.

"Seven," he smiled as he sat on the couch next to her. "I fell off that tree a week later and broke my arm." He pointed to a spot on his arm. "After that, I swore that I'd stay on the ground."

"We see how that turned out," she smiled.

"To be fair, I didn't have much of a choice at first."

"And now that you have a choice?"

"There are some wonderful things out there," he said. Jim looked at him and found his eyes focused on her. She could feel the blush creeping up her neck.

"Surely you don't mean me," she whispered.

"Pretty sure I do," Bones chuckled.

"What about this one?" Jim asked. It was a holo of little Leonard in a set of mini-medical scrubs next to a tall man that looked a lot like Bones does now.

"I was nine. Went trick or treatin' as my dad." Bones looked at another holo. "That's my mom teaching me how to make her apple pie."

"Is it weird being back here?" she asked when she noticed that he was lost in a memory.

"A little. I keep expecting them to walk through the door even though they've been dead for nine years," he told her. "I guess it could be worse."

"How so?" Jim was a little confused by that.

"If they were here, I doubt I would even know you."

"I happen to disagree with you, Bonesy." She smiled, "I think that we would've found each other eventually."

"You sound so sure," he chuckled

"That's because I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bones' quote is given by Tali in the second Mass Effect game. Maybe we'll get a movie by 2253.


	32. Mirrors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was not the original version of this chapter but I was talking to my daughter and it was her idea to move some things around. I think you guys will be happy.

_Aren't you somethin', an original_   
_'Cause it doesn't seem merely assembled_   
_And I can't help but stare, 'cause_   
_I see truth somewhere in your eyes_   
_I can't ever change without you_   
_You reflect me, I love that about you_   
_And if I could, I would look at us all the time_

_'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul_   
_I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go_   
_Just put your hand on the glass_   
_I'll be tryin' to pull you through_   
_You just gotta be strong_

_'Cause I don't wanna lose you now_   
_I'm lookin' right at the other half of me_   
_The vacancy that sat in my heart_   
_Is a space that now you hold_   
_Show me how to fight for now_   
_And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy_   
_Comin' back into you once I figured it out_   
_You were right here all along_

_It's like you're my mirror_   
_My mirror staring back at me_   
_I couldn't get any bigger_   
_With anyone else beside of me_   
_And now it's clear as this promise_   
_That we're making two reflections into one_   
_'Cause it's like you're my mirror_   
_My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me_

Mirrors – Justin Timberlake

* * *

"So, I've been thinking," Bones said with a kiss on her neck.

"'Bout what?" Jim said, still half asleep.

"We should get married," he said.

"We're already getting married, Bones," she muttered against her pillow.

"I meant here. We should get married here. In the next few days," Bones said.

Her eyes shot open, "What?"

"We should get married here while we're on leave," he repeated.

"Why?"

"Why not? It's not like we need a lot of space. Besides, I've been thinking about this house a lot. It's full of memories, both good and bad, and I don't want that to stop. I want to keep having memories here. I want you to have memories here, even if it's just when we're planet-side," Bones paused. "We met in your home, out in the black and nothing's ever been the same. I want us to start the next chapter of our lives in my home."

"How are you planning to pull this off?" she smiled, ignoring the tears on her face.

"I'm not doing anything. All I gotta do is comm Pippa and she'll handle it. The only thing she needs to know is when," he told her, wiping off her face as he did. "Jim, will you marry me in the house my parents loved so much?"

"Of course I will. When are you thinking?" Jim smiled.

"Today."

"You do realize that if we get married today I will never be able to top it. You will forever have a birthiversary."

"Every day I get to spend with you is more than enough for me," he smiled. "So… today?"

"Since I can't actually deny you anything, and it's your birthday, today it is," she smiled.

"Go back to sleep. I'm gonna let Aunt Pip know that we're a go."

"You planned this," Jim chuckled and threw a pillow at him as he walked out the room.

"No idea what you're talking about, Misses McCoy," he chuckled.

Jim snuggled into the pillows again before she shot up, "I'm getting married today."

* * *

"Wow, you look like Winnie," her dad muttered from the door to Bones' old bedroom.

"Really?" Jim asked.

"Yea. I remember when I first met her. Your dad came running into the room. 'Chris, I'm gonna marry this girl, you gotta meet her.' She walked in and I knew she was the woman who was gonna love George for the rest of his life. She just has this look," he smiled. "It's the same look I see in your eyes right now."

"Dad," she whispered.

"I have something for you," her dad said. "When your parents asked me to be your godfather, I never, ever, thought that I would actually have to do anything. I promised to always teach you, protect you, love you. Today, I have to step back and let Leonard stand next to you. As much as I wish that your parents were here, I am grateful for every moment that I get to be your dad. I am so very proud of you. This is from George, being in Starfleet, we all knew that there was a risk of dying. He made me promise to give this to you on your twenty-first birthday or the day you got married, whichever came first. I'll be in hall when you're ready."

He pulled an actual piece of paper out of his pocket, handed it to her and pressed a kiss on her forehead before leaving the room. She looked at the neat military handwriting with a smile. The letter was simply addressed 'to my daughter.' Jim chuckled, knowing full well that her parents didn't decide her name until she was born.

> _Hey, baby girl_   
>  _The first thing I want to say is that I love you. I have loved you from the moment I found out that your mother was pregnant with you and I will always love you._
> 
> _If you're reading this, a few things have happened. The first of which is that I'm not there. For that, I'm sorry. It's was never my intention to miss any part of your life and I just hope that you and I got to know each other. The second thing is that Chris keep his word just like I knew he would. It's my hope that if you can't have me on this day, that you have him._
> 
> _It's crazy to think about you as an adult or your wedding when you're not even born yet but that's where my head went today and I decided that I have some advice to give to you._
> 
> _So, first up, listen to your first thought. Not just today, but every day. I'm sure that if you haven't figured it out by now, you will. Don't ever second-guess yourself. When your heart is in the right place, that's all you need, always go with your first thought._
> 
> _Work hard at things and follow your instincts. This one is a bit more of a family trait but it begged being written down somewhere. Chris says that I like to leap without looking but that's only half true. Sometimes, you won't come out alright, but if your gut is telling you to do it, especially to help someone else, go for it. If you're anything like Win, you'll be very perceptive about things, you'll know when to leap. All you got to do is trust yourself._
> 
> _The fact that you're (probably) getting married today means I don't have to tell you to love. Whoever this person is, love him or her and let that person love you. Don't be afraid to give them your heart and to let them take care of yours. Tell your new spouse that I'm not above haunting someone if I have to._
> 
> _The most important thing I can tell you is to keep the faith. The universe we live in a crazy place. Your will will be tested. You'll see things that no one should ever see. Just remember to keep going, no matter what._
> 
> _I think your mother is waking up, you've been tap dancing on her bladder all day, so I'm going to wrap this up. I love you, child who has yet to be named. (I'm angling for Tabitha after my mother but your mom's not having it.) Go forth and do great things and know that I'm keeping an eye on you._
> 
> _All my love,_   
>  _George_

* * *

"I, Jamison, take you, Leonard, to be no one other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us. Bones, I take you as my husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life." Jim smiled as she slid the simple silver band on his ring finger.

Chaplain Yardley looked at Bones, "Leonard, repeat after me…"

"I, Leonard, take you, Jamison, to be no one other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us. Jim, I take you as my wife, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life." He placed the tiny silver band on her finger with her engagement ring a pressed a kiss against her knuckles.

"Now that you have given yourselves to each other with solemn vows, and the giving and receiving of rings, in front of all who are assembled here, it is with great joy that I pronounce you husband and wife," the chaplain told them. "You may now seal your vows with a kiss."

Bones was half a second ahead of her, pulling Jim across the small space between them and bringing their lips together just as the words left the chaplain's mouth.

"Get a room," Mitch called when Jim deepened the kiss.

"Room?" Bones chuckled when he pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. "You're in our house, Mitch. We could just kick you out." Everyone chuckled at the look of mock hurt on Gary's face.

Aside from Mitchell and her dad, their wedding consisted of Pippa, Gramps, Spock, Borrik, Jankowski, McGraw and Doctor Griffin. Jim, Bones and Chaplain Yardley brought the total to twelve. It was actually more people than Jim expected it to be. Borrik and Jankowski were skipping part of their leave to be here. McGraw has been off planet since he graduated from Ole Miss, something about an assignment in another quadrant. And Jim didn't know that Bones was still tight with Griffin, though she wasn't surprised. The one person she expected to see was her dad's 'girlfriend.' She'll have to ask her dad where Robbins was later.

Chaplain Yardley smiled, "Ladies and gentlemen, Jamison and Leonard."


	33. Feeling Good

_Stars when you shine, you know how I feel_  
_Scent of the pine, you know how I feel_  
_Yeah, freedom is mine, and I know how I feel_  
_It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me_  
_and I'm feelin'... good._

Feeling Good – Nina Simone

* * *

"You two going for a record or something?" Gary whispered when she sat next to him at the tactical console for Alpha shift.

"Don't know what you're talking about," she replied innocently. Jim knew exactly what he was talking about but she wasn't giving him the satisfaction of knowing that.

"Liar. You're a married woman and you still blush like a fifteen year old. I'm just trying to figure out if you two actually eat before you disappear to your quarters. Or starve, or whatever," her friend teased.

"We eat in our quarters," Jim told him.

"That explains it," he chuckled. "How is married life?"

"Not a topic for the bridge," she reminded him. "But it's good. Better than good."

Jim doesn't know how they managed it but she and Bones were adjusting to being married really well. Gramps warned them that they could have some issues at first, but because they've basically lived together since they were kids, they haven't had problems… Unless you count the fact that they can't keep their hands off of each other when they're alone as a problem. If anything, being married just brought a feeling of security. They were always a team, Jim and Bones, now it was just official.

"I gotta find me a girl," Mitch sighed.

Jim chuckled, "If I see someone your type, I'll let you know."

"I don't have a type."

"I know."

* * *

"You think that maybe we should have dinner in the mess hall with everyone else at some point?" Jim asked when she stepped into the quarters she shares with her husband.

"I was gonna ask you that," Bones smiled. "Who got to you?"

"Mitch. You?"

"Velasquez," he chuckled as she sat next to him on the couch. "I didn't realize we were that bad."

"Are we that bad? Or are we newlyweds who are just enjoying the honeymoon phase?" she asked.

"Both."

"Are we ever gonna get it outta our systems?" Jim asked. They've been going at it like rabbits for the last three and a half months. If it wasn't for their contraception, they'd be knocked up a few dozen times over.

"I hope not," Bones smiled before pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

"We're gonna miss dinner again, aren't we?" she whispered when Bones leaned back to pull her duty dress off.

"Probably," he said, his lips trailing kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. Jim pushed his blue uniform tunic and black undershirt off. "I don't care."

"You, the man who gets mad when I skip meals, don't care about eating?"

"Not at the moment. I would much rather devour my wife," Bones chuckled against her skin before he sat up with Jim in his arms.

"Mitch is never gonna let us hear the end of this."

* * *

"I got a bad feeling about this," Jim mumbled as she pulled on her black undershirt and grabbed the pants to her unisex uniform.

"You don't even know what's going on yet," Bones said as he rushed to get dressed next to her.

"No, but Red Alerts in the middle of the 'night' are historically not good," she told him. Jim tugged her boots on and gave Bones a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," he smiled. "Don't do anything stupid."

Jim grabbed her gold shirt and chuckled as she left their quarters, "No promises."

"I swear to all that's holy, Jim, I'll hypo you into next…"

"Week if I get myself hurt. Yea, I know. Now go to medical," she said as she sprinted to the turbolift, pulling her tunic on as she did. Jim let out a chuckle when she heard him grumble as he went the opposite direction. God, she loves that beautiful, cranky creature.

"Any idea on what going on?" one of the officers in the lift asked.

"Not yet but the captain will fill us in if we need to know," Gaynor said from somewhere. Jim just gave a quick nod, that's what she was gonna say.

Just as the doors to the turbolift opened to the bridge, the ship started taking fire. Augenthaler was issuing orders to return fire as Jim and Gaynor took their stations from the junior officers that worked Gamma shift.

About a year ago, the Federation colony on Archanis IV was attacked and 112 Federation citizens were killed. It was discovered that a Klingon garrison in the next system was responsible when a Federation vessel found a disabled Klingon cruiser inside Federation space. The Klingons denied any involvement and refused to surrender to Starfleet, which started a war. Now, the Constitution was being attacked by a Klingon Cruiser Squadron that dropped out from the tail of a large comet. The Tennessee, the Damascus and the Constitution were all putting up one hell of a fight but they were being outmaneuvered.

"The Klingons are ignoring our hails, Captain," Borrik said.

Augenthaler sighed, "That's fine. I don't want to talk to them anyway. Helm, forty degree down angle then come about on the Damascus' port side."

"Yes, sir," Gary nodded as he continued to fly the large ship.

This was the part of Jim's job that she both loved and loathed. There are always gonna be battles, to be one of the people who fights those battles is what she signed up to do. It doesn't stop the feeling of uncertainty that comes over her every time she's faced a threat or the feeling that there should be another option instead of a fight. Her job was to find the other option but right now, there was nothing she could do but keep firing on the Klingons that were attacking them.

"Sir, we just lost the Tennessee," Jim said as she read the tactical console.

"How many people were on that ship, Kirk?" the captain asked.

"One hundred and nineteen, sir," she told him. They didn't have time to think about the lives they just lost, they still had to get themselves and the Damascus out of here.

* * *

"Bones, you okay?" she asked as she walked in the CMO's office. Her husband was sitting on the couch with a drink in his hand.

"No," he sighed. "It should've been me. I should've been the one to go down there."

The ship took a lot of damage fighting off the Klingons and if it wasn't for the Damascus and the debris from the Tennessee, they wouldn't have made it. Among the dead and injured on the Constitution were the first officer and the CMO. Both officers went down to engineering, for different reasons, and got caught in an explosion. Hirota was in critical condition and Velasquez was dead. Bones was now the acting CMO and it pissed him off more than anything.

"You're gonna feel that way for a long time," Jim told him honestly.

"You're not helping," Bones chuckled.

"I am. You just don't realize it yet," she said. "I have a list, it's about as long as you are tall, of people I wish I could've saved. My family. Hoshi. Some of the kids on Tarsus that I didn't get to fast enough. Crew on the Republic. The Farragut. I'm sure the list will grow the longer I'm in the fleet. I wish I could said it gets easier but I honestly don't know."

"I don't know how it doesn't get to you," he said.

"It does. You know it does. I just have a very good reason to keep fighting," Jim smiled.

"Is this the part where you tell me that I'm your reason for living?"

"Not the only reason, just the best reason," she told him. "You remember what you told me after Tarsus?"

"I told you a lot of things after Tarsus," Bones reminded her.

"When I was confused and angry and I couldn't figure out why everything happened the way it did and I didn't want to be around any adults. And you said…"

"We'll figure it out. Together."

Jim nodded, "Since then, that's what we've been doing. Something happens, we face it together. The only difference today is that I'm not the one who's being stupid."

"I'm not being stupid," he told her.

"So you're not drinking the tequila Velasquez had stashed in her desk?"

"It's just one drink… that I can't actually drink," Bones said, looking down at the drink still in his hand. "I'm the acting CMO, getting drunk right now would be a very bad idea. You want it?"

"Can't. Acting XO," she sighed. "How about we leave it here for her like they do in the bars near HQ for fallen comrades?" Bones nodded and sat the drink on the CMO's desk. As long as the artificial gravity holds, it should be okay. "Feel better?"

"A little. Thank you for checking on me."

"Oh please. I just followed my 'WWBD?' rule," Jim chuckled. He gave her a look. "What would Bones do?"


	34. Accentuate the Positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See if you can catch the Enterprise crew member reference. Hint: It's not Spock.

_You've got to accentuate the positive_  
_eliminate the negative_  
_and latch on to the affirmative_  
_Don't mess with Mister In-Between_

 _You've got to spread joy up to the maximum_  
_bring gloom down to the minimum_  
_Have faith or pandemonium's_  
_liable to walk upon the scene_

Accentuate the Positive - Johnny Mercer

* * *

"I don't like not knowing what to do," Jim said. Spock looked at her. "What?"

"You are well aware of what you want to do, Jim. The question you face is whether or not it is a good choice for both you and Leonard," her friend said.

"That _is_ the question. I can logically justify any choice I make and it's annoying the hell outta me. What if I pick the wrong assignment? What if I wait too long and the fleet just gives me something random? What about Bones? This is his life too."

"You are aware that Leonard will follow you no matter what you decide," he said.

She sighed, "I know but I don't want that to be our lives. Me picking things and him just… following along."

"And yet, he would," Spock said.

"You're not helping," Jim muttered and took a sip of her tea.

"I am," he told her. "You told me that you have always wanted to be a Starfleet captain and Leonard always wanted to be a doctor. So far, he has succeeded in his aspiration and you have not. Leonard will not follow you because he's your husband, he will follow you because he wishes to see you accomplish your dream, just as you were there to watch him accomplish his."

"That's highly illogical," she chuckled.

If Spock was the type to laugh, Jim had a feeling that he would. "I have learned that love is a most illogical emotion, and yet, it is something we cannot live without."

"I'm gonna tell your mother you said that," Jim smiled.

"If you must."

* * *

"What are your feelings on ground assignments?" Jim asked her husband.

"You, me or both?"

"Either," she said. "I got a few interesting offers and I want your opinion."

With the Constitution in dry-dock for a re-fit, they were all being reassigned. Jim was offered a spot on the team with Doctor Marvick. She was also offered second officer positions on two different ships. The most interesting offer she got was the command of a ground installation on a planet near the Klingon Neutral Zone. She told him about all of them.

"Well," Bones said, "The advantage to working with Marvick is that he's Larry Marvick. The man's your hero. He also likes you so I don't think it'll matter one way or another. He won't hold it against you if you don't take the assignment with him and it's not like you two haven't been working together long distance all this time, no reason for that to change right this second."

"Okay," she said. That was a good point. Jim and Marvick have been corresponding since that tour she took of ASDB. She and Spock were working on the new sensors for the Enterprise. "What about the other stuff?"

"That's easy. You can't be a captain if you don't lead. Getting offered a command position is a big deal, Jim. When you go up for your assignment after that, that's something that will be considered. You could get a spot on a ship any day," he told her.

"Would you go with me if I took it? I'm sure I get to pick some of my staff."

Bones smiled, "Depends on the offer I get."

* * *

After a week of conversations with her husband, a few with her dad and another one with Spock, Jim decided that taking the command position would be the best option. Bones decided that he was going with her. Being in and around Starfleet as long as they have, they both know better than to pass up a joint assignment. He also made it a point to remind her, repeatedly, that he could literally be assigned anywhere in the fleet because everyone needs medical but she wasn't going to get this kind of offer again if she passed it up. The deal they made with each other is that he gets to pick the next orders.

Now, they were on Ajilon Prime, the only class-M planet in the Ajilon system. Situated on the edge of the Archanis sector in the Beta Quadrant, right next to the Klingon/Federation border. Jim's assignment was to take command of Tananda Bay Station. Soon, she would be in charge of the one hundred and six men and women –not counting Bones and Gaynor- stationed at the base and charged with the safety of the nearby colony.

"I still can't believe you wanted me for your XO," Gaynor said as they –and Bones- got off the shuttle.

"Well, we may not be best friends but we trust each other," she shrugged.

"Nervous?" Bones asked.

"No," Jim said. He gave her a knowing look. "I'm a little nervous."

"You'll be fine," her husband told her.

"I can't be fine. I have to be good," she sighed.

"You're already good," Gaynor said. "It's annoying." Jim looked at her XO. "What? It is."

Bones chuckled, "I hate to agree with him but he's right, Jim. You got this."

"Lieutenant Commander Kirk," a voice called. Jim looked up, and up, and up some more at the tall dark gray officer in front of her. "I'm you're yeoman, Dex."

"Dex?" Gaynor asked the officer as they started walking.

"My name is Scleanxmefdexlan. The only human who could pronounce it without much difficulty was a sweet girl I met at a linguistic conference two years ago. She spoke better Tyrellian than some natives. Anyway, Dex is simpler," the tall man told them.

"Scalea… you're gonna have to teach me that, Dex," she smiled. "I'm Jim Kirk. This is Doctor McCoy and Lieutenant Gaynor."

"Sirs," Dex said with a nod. "Commanders, I have temp quarters set up for you. You'll move into the CO's Quarters after Broad leaves tomorrow. The XO already left, so Lieutenant Gaynor can move in today. We'll make a quick trip the armory to get your sidearms, everyone carries a weapon on station as per HQ. I've gathered all the files you asked for and I have a schedule for you to personally observe every department at some point in the next two days."

"Sounds like fun," Bones mumbled.

"Who knows, could be," Jack chuckled.

"Word of advice, don't be too much of a hard ass… I think that's the saying you humans use. When word came down that Broad was leaving, people threw parties," Dex told them. "He's that much of an asshole."

"As long as everyone does their jobs, they should be okay. If they don't, they'll have to deal with me before it ever gets to her," Gaynor said. "She's the nice one unless you mess with her family."

"You learned that the hard way," her husband whispered.

"I'm just lucky that I didn't get in trouble," her XO told Bones.

"Could've but I honestly didn't see the need," Jim shrugged. "Long story, Dex."

"I hope to hear it one day," he said as they got to a building. "Welcome to the Bay."

* * *

"Attention to Orders." Everyone in the room stood at attention and looked at Commander Broad, the officer Jim was to relieve. He picked up a PADD to read the orders. "' _To Commander Stanley Broad, Commanding Officer, Tananda Bay Station, you are hereby requested and required to relinquish your command to Lieutenant Commander Jamison Kirk, First Officer, USS Constitution. Stardate twenty-two fifty-three point one-nine-three. Signed, Admiral Oryss th'qelass, Chief of Starfleet Operations_.' Computer, transfer all command codes to Lieutenant Commander Kirk. Voice authorization: Broad-nine-one-seven-two-four."

"Transfer complete. Tananda Bay Station now under command of Lieutenant Commander Kirk," The computer told them.

"I relieve you, sir," Jim told the other officer.

"I stand relieved," Broad said with a nod.

Jim glanced over at her husband as the weight settled on her shoulders, she was now the commanding officer for a Starfleet Station.

* * *

"Nice office, darlin'," Bones said when he stepped into the room.

"It'll get the job done," she chuckled. It'll probably do more than that since it was so big. The advantage of being on the ground instead of on a ship, there was more space. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just checking on you," he told her as he sat in the chair across from her and picked up a holo of them from a few years ago. "I like this one."

"You're bored," Jim smiled.

"A little. Medical is on a normal shift rotation, I don't start working until tomorrow."

"Lucky you. I've been buried in work since Broad turned over command. On the plus side, Dex is pretty cool," she said with a chuckle.

"I know. He's the one who let me in here. Had a nice conversation."

"About what?" Jim asked as she typed.

"His family," Bones smiled. "His little boys are here, wife too. She works at the school in the colony."

"That is the advantage of ground assignments. Unfortunately, they may have to leave soon," she sighed. "The brass is worried about the civilian compliment attached to this station. I'll do what I can to keep them around but if the Klingons show up…"

"It's game over."

"Yep," she sighed. "Did I do the right thing, Bones? Taking this assignment. I thought it was a good idea but now I'm not so sure."

"I think so. It might not feel like it now but I'm sure it will. And look at the bright side, I'm here."

Jim chuckled, "You are always the bright side."


	35. Bravado

_I'm faking glory_  
_Lick my lips toss my hair_  
_And turn the smile on_  
_And the story's brand-new_  
_But I can take it from here_  
_I'll find my own bravado_

 _It's a switch flipped_  
_It's a pill tipped back, it's a moon eclipsed, whoa_  
_And I can tell you that when the lights come on I'll be ready for this_

 _It's in your bloodstream_  
_A collision of atoms that happens before your eyes_  
_It's a marathon run or a mountain you scale without thinking of size_

 _I was frightened of every little thing that I thought was out to get me down_  
_To trip me up and laugh at me_

 _But I learnt not to want_  
_The quiet of the room with no one around to find me out_  
_I want the applause, the approval, the things that make me go_  
_Oh…_

Bravado – Lorde

* * *

"Sir, get down," one of the officers near her, Hendricks, said.

Jim took cover behind a short wall and started doing a visual scan. "There are a lot of Klingons between us and the civilians down here."

"Should make it interesting. Hendricks and T'Cel with me on the right, Bradley and Glinak with the Commander on the left," Gaynor told the group. They all gave him nod before he counted them down. "Alright, ladies and gents, in three... two… one… go." The team of six officers entered the area and started taking out the Klingon warriors.

"Jack, on your three o'clock," Jim said into her comms.

"Copy," he said. "Watch your nine."

"Got it," she chuckled as she turned to shoot the Klingon coming up on her left flank. "Bradley, duck."

The woman did what Jim told her, shooting the Klingon next to her head. "Thanks, sir."

"Anytime. We gotta get a move on," the young commanding officer said.

"They just keep coming," Glinak, a Tellarite Lieutenant said. "There's no way to fight them and get the civilians."

"It's hopeless," Hendricks muttered.

"Computer, pause simulation," Jim ordered. The computer complied and Jim stood from where she was kneeling. "Say that again."

"It's hopeless, sir," Hendricks said so that everyone could hear.

"Nothing is ever hopeless. There's always an answer, a solution. You may not like the choice you get but you do have a choice. I don't ever want to hear you or anyone else say something like that again," she told him. "Now, what are the variables and what are our options?"

"We're outmatched by the squadron of Klingons pouring into this area," Bradley said. "We also have a group of civilians holed up in a building on the other side of this courtyard that we need to extract."

"The Klingons are approaching from the south and the east. We came in from the north, so the west side might be clear," T'Cel added.

"Maybe… Maybe we can split up," Hendricks said. "Have a team hold this position and sneak a team to the civilians."

"Okay, say that works, how do you get the civilians out?" Jack asked.

"Maintenance tunnels. There's an outlet near the base," Glinak told them. "We get the civilians out that way."

"Boom! Gaynor and I just got caught in an explosion. Glinak's the ranking officer. What are your orders for your men?" Jim asked.

"T'Cel and Bradley, get to the civilians. Hendricks, we need to hold this line no matter what," the Tellarite said.

"Computer, move Kirk and Gaynor to observation mode and resume simulation," Jim said. The computer acknowledged and the four officers got back to their training.

"Are you sure about these four?" Jack asked after pulling the comm out of his ear.

"No, that's why they're training," she sighed. They'd been assigned to the Bay for nine months and these four officers were the least combat ready. They were also the newest transfers in, so Jim didn't hold it against them too much.

"I just wish HQ would send someone with some combat experience every once and while," he chuckled.

"Where's the fun in that, Jack? Training all the newbies means we have an excuse to gear up and play around in the simulators," Jim reminded him.

"Might not be playing around anymore," Dex said as he walked into the room with them. "Brass is on comms for you, sir. Doesn't look good."

"Thanks, Dex. Jack…"

"I got these guys," her XO told her before she and her yeoman left the room.

"How bad?" Jim asked as they walked down the corridor.

"Bad," Dex said. "It's Admiral Kane." Jim looked up at Dex with wide eyes. "Yea." Kane was the head of Starfleet Tactical Command and some people call him the Harbinger of Death. He was the last person you wanted to see, especially if you're anywhere near the Klingons, it meant that the shit was about to hit the fan.

"That is bad," she muttered as she walked into her office, sat at the desk and activated her console. "Admiral."

"Kirk, you have trouble coming."

* * *

"Sir, we just lost subspace communications," Dex said. "Transporters aren't working either."

According to the brass, there was a scrimmage in the system, the Starfleet vessel that was there on patrol, the USS Aeolus, was heavily damaged and the Klingons were headed their way within the next few hours. Starfleet was sending them some back up but the Klingons had a head start. For now, all they could do is hunker down, prep to leave but be ready to fight.

"Jammers," Jim said.

"Most likely," Gaynor said. "That's actually not a bad thing."

"How do you figure?" Bones asked as he joined the small group.

Jim looked at her husband, "Means that even though we can't leave, we can still talk to each other locally and the Klingons can't beam us off the planet. Looks like this is gonna be a ground fight."

"A ground fight with a bunch of pissed off Klingons sounds bad to me, Jim," Bones said.

"Of course it does, you're a lover not a fighter. Fighting's my job," Jim said with a wink. "How's the evac of the colony going?"

"The teams are finishing up their sweep. I got the section leaders doing a head count now," Jack told her. "What's the plan?"

"We need to know what we're dealing with out there," she said with a sigh.

"I can take a team," Gaynor told her. "See if we can find out what the Klingons are up to and report back."

"Sounds like a plan," Jim nodded. "Don't do anything stupid and get your ass back here in one piece."

"Can do."

* * *

"Can we boost that?" Jim asked as she stood behind Dex at the communications console in the control room.

"One second," he told her. Dex pulled up the feed from the small imager on Jack's tactical gear. Dex muttered something in his native language. Jim didn't know what it was but she was pretty sure that it was a curse.

"Get them back here, now," Jim ordered. She didn't stay in the room long enough to hear Dex's reply, she knows he'll do his job. Jim went into the main room, jumped up on a table and let out a whistle. Everyone looked at her. "The Klingons are moving in on this base. My people, you know what your roles are so I don't have to get into that. Everyone else, if you can be of any help defending this base until our backup gets here, let us know and we'll find a place for you. If you can't help, please follow whatever instructions are given and stay out of the way. We're all gonna get through this, together. As you all were."

* * *

How the Klingons breached the main gate of the base so fast, she'll never know. Gaynor and his team made it back just in time to help fight the advancing warriors off. Fortunately, the ship Starfleet promised showed up and they were giving the Klingons hell from orbit, all Jim had to do was get her people and the colonists to the ship. Jack disabled some of the jammers on his way back, so they were being beamed out but almost eight hundred people took some time.

"I really wish you would've gone with the rest of the medical staff," Jim muttered to her husband.

"I'm not leaving here without you. Deal with it," he replied before popping up next to her and shooting a Klingon.

"You're infuriating," she told him. Jim shot a few more Klingons, then returned to cover to let her weapon recharge. "You hate this shit."

"True but I'd hate to bury my wife more. I can get over this, not that," Bones said.

"Stop being adorable right now, it's distracting," Jim muttered.

Bones chuckled before he moved to shoot again, but he didn't get a chance when a hand grabbed him. Jim didn't even think, she just jumped on the Klingon. The guy let Bones go, win. The guy now had Jim, not a win. She could fight with the best of them but this guy was huge and angry and it hurt like a bitch when he hit her. Jim pulled the small knife out of the sheath the Klingon was wearing and stabbed him in the shoulder with it just as he took a phaser blast to the face.

"You almost hit me," she sighed.

"But I didn't. You're welcome," her husband pulled her to her feet.

"Hey, I stopped him from killing you first," Jim said. "Gaynor, status?"

"Could use some help," her XO replied over comms.

"Heading your way, sir," Dex said.

"Kirk to Yorktown," she called to the ship.

"Go ahead, Commander," her dad's voice was a welcome thing. Something about hearing him and having Bones with her made Jim feel like she could take on the universe by herself.

"How much longer?" she asked. There was silence on the other end for a moment.

"Thirty seconds," another voice said. Jim checked with her officers to make sure that they heard, which they did. As promised, they were beamed out half a minute later. "Welcome to the Yorktown," the officer at the console told them. "Someone will show you to the bridge, sir."

"It's okay, I know my way around," she said before looking at her officers. "Everyone get checked out. Jack, go check on our people. Dex, check on your family." He moved to argue. "Whatever it is, don't worry about it now. They're more important, go. Bones…"

"I'm going with you."

"Figured as much," she said as they left the room and went to the turbolift. "He's gonna kill me."

"No he won't, darlin'," Bones told her. She gave him a look. "He won't. He might fuss over you though."

"That's just as bad," Jim chuckled as the doors to the lift opened. "Permission to enter the bridge."

"By all means, Miss Kirk," her dad said from the command chair.

"What are they doing?" Bones asked as he looked out the view screens.

"We have disabled their warp drive," Spock told him.

"They're trying to decide if it's worth it. They already lost," Jim muttered.

"How do you figure?" Robbins asked.

"They don't have the advantage they thought they had. They expected my base to be an easy win but it's not. My officers are too well trained, the system was wiped clean and the whole station is wired to blow. They just don't know that last part yet," Jim said. Everyone on the bridge looked at her. "What? 'Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.'"

"A quote from Sun Tzu's The Art of War. Most appropriate," Spock said.

"I try," Jim smiled.

Bones rolled his eyes, "Oh, God. Don't encourage her."


	36. Remember the Name

_This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill_  
_fifteen percent concentrated power of will_  
_five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain_  
_and a hundred percent reason to remember the name_

Remember the Name – Fort Minor

* * *

"We blew up the station and they're still not leaving," Bones said.

"This planet has a tactical advantage in their war against the Federation," Spock said.

"It's not the planet," Jim muttered. "They could've come after this place a dozen plus times in the last year. Why attack now? They obviously want something." She thought about it for a moment. "Where was this ship before you were diverted to us?"

"Aldebaran. Why?" her dad asked. Jim ran the Yorktown's schedule for the last year through her head.

"Kaaj," she said.

"You know about Kaaj?" Robbins asked. Jim nodded.

At the same time, Bones looked at her, "What's a Kaaj?"

"Kaaj is a very unstable Klingon who has an issue with me," her dad said.

"By issue he means Blood Debt," Jim told her husband.

Her dad looked at her, "You honestly think that he would…"

"Attack a planet where your daughter is the CO of a Starfleet Station right next to Klingon space the first time your ship is anywhere near the system. Yea, I do," she told her dad. "If they really wanted this place, they could've taken it when Broad had command. The station was a mess when we got here, Gaynor and I worked our asses off to get the station and colony in the best tactical condition they have ever been in, our evals prove it. The Yorktown hasn't been out this far in sixteen months. The first time you're within a few hours of us they attack my station. It's doesn't take a genius to figure this out and I happen to be a genius."

"So, it's not about Ajilon Prime, the Bay or even the people, it's about who the fleet sent to rescue us," Bones said. "The Klingons used Jim as bait knowing full well that you'd rush over here to protect her." No sooner had he said the words did the ship get hit with a heavy duty weapon.

"Shit," Robbins said has her hands flew over the helm. "Hull breach on deck three."

"Sir, we have two more ships dropping out of warp," one of the officers behind her dad called. "One of them is the IKS Varchas."

"That's Kaaj's ship. Looks like you get a gold star, kid," her dad said. "D'wara, turn over your console to Miss Kirk." The young officer hopped out of his seat and Jim took over the weapons/tactical station. "McCoy, you might want to hang on. Ladies, if you'd be so kind."

Jim and Robbins didn't have to be told twice, they got to work taking out as many of the Klingons ships as they could while taking shots at Kaaj's vessel. All they had to do was hold out until the other ships that Starfleet sent their way actually got there. Even though Jim never served with her dad's first officer, they both had the advantage of knowing how her dad thought and anticipated his orders with ease.

"I kinda feel bad for this Kaaj guy. Jim and Chris are scary enough by themselves. Putting them in a position to work together is just stupid," Bones whispered to someone but Jim heard it.

"Indeed. Kaaj was unwise in his choice to use Jim as bait, it will not end well for him," Spock replied.

Jim couldn't help but chuckle, "Massive understatement, fellas."

* * *

"I don't have to pick," Bones said when they were finally alone.

"What?" she asked him.

"Orders. I don't have to pick."

"Uh… why not?" Jim asked.

"I watched you today taking out the Klingons both on the ground and from the weapons station. Hell, I don't think I'm ever gonna forget that big exploding ball you made outta Kaaj's ship. You're in your element out here and I can't take that from you."

She smiled, "You know that I have more than one element, right? Do I love being out here? Yes. Will it bother me to be on Earth or something for a while? No. I made you a promise and I'm gonna keep it. You get to pick the next orders. I won't argue or complain because it doesn't matter where I work as long as I have you."

"You're so annoying. I'm trying to be selfless here and you won't let me, darlin'," Bones grumbled.

"You were already selfless when you packed up and followed me out to the edge of Federation space during a war," Jim reminded him. "So, you get to decide where we go next."

* * *

Jim moved as fast as she could through the complete and utter blackness. She could hear the other people with her and Bones, some talking, others laughing and even a few screamers as the sounds and smells got to them. Jim thought it was hilarious because they were all perfectly safe inside this room.

True to her word, Jim let Bones pick their next orders. Fortunately, Larry Marvick still wanted to work with her and there were some teaching assignments at the Academy, so those are the assignments she took, Bones is working out of the Starfleet Medical Center.

Today, they weren't working at all. She doesn't know which one of them came up with it but they decided to spend a few hours at the Exploratorium. So far, they tinkered with some projects in the south gallery, examined a bunch of microorganisms in the east gallery and now they were making their way through the Tactile Dome.

"Somebody had their hand on my ass the whole time," Bones whispered as they got to the end.

"That was me," Jim chuckled.

"Was it?" he asked with a smile and pulled her into his arms.

She nodded, "It was. Can you blame me, it's a nice ass?"

"Not one bit, darlin'," Bones told her. "What do you want to do next?"

"Well… you hungry?"

"A little. How about the burger place you love so much?"

Jim smiled, "You know me so well."

* * *

"I can't believe you put me up for a promotion," Jack said.

"I didn't," Jim told him. "I almost did but my dad told me not too. Robbins takes over as Captain of the Yorktown in November. She's been looking for an XO since Spock was her first choice but he's taking a programming spot at the Academy. She asked me about you and liked what she heard, obviously, because you're her pick. The promotion comes with your new billet. Don't tell anyone I told you, you're not supposed to know yet. Just like I'm not supposed to know that I made full Commander."

"What the hell did you tell them?" he asked.

"That you're a good officer and a good XO and that I'm proud to have served with you. All true," she said.

"I don't get it. I mean, I don't even understand why you took me with you to the Bay in the first place."

"Did you know that Bones and I didn't like each other at first?" Jim asked.

"What? You two are so in love it's sickening."

"We're like that now. But, back when we first met, he thought I was annoying and talked too fast, I thought he was a grumpy asshole. We're both still a little like that but that's a conversation for another day. Anyway, we were forced to interact, my dad and his aunt have been close friends for decades and they were serving on the same ship, as they are now. Stuff happened, some good and some bad but we learned that we were better together. We became friends, then best friends, then fell in love and now we're married. You and I will never get that far but over the course of the last almost three years, you went from hating me to trusting me with your life. We grew, as people and as teammates. You learned that being a Kirk wasn't my whole identity. You realized that I was a much better officer than you gave me credit for _and_ you were man enough to admit it. That, combined with the fact that you were always brutally honest and you kick ass, is why I took you to Tananda Bay with me."

"And here I thought you were just doing that whole friends close, enemies closer thing," he chuckled.

"At first, I was," she admitted. "Now, I'm just glad it was you backing me up down there. I don't think we could've gotten everyone off the planet without you."

Jack smiled, "I'm really glad I don't hate you anymore."

"I'm really glad I didn't let my husband hypo you with the vaccine for Melvaran mud fleas. Those symptoms suck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to kill Gaynor last chapter but he grew on me, so I kept him and we'll probably see him again.
> 
> In the Early Voyages comics, Kaaj fakes a message that Chris' dad was close to death, so Chris took a shuttle to get back to Earth but Kaaj's people forced him to crash on a planet. I decided that the family angle would still work for that crazy Klingon.
> 
> The vaccine that Jim's talking about is the one that Bones gives Kirk in the movie, we all know how that turned out.
> 
> This chapter takes place in 2254, the next chapter will skip ahead a little so we can move right before the bar scene in the movie. Because I changed Jim's backstory so much, the whole scene will be radically different.


	37. Crazy Youngsters

_They call us crazy youngsters_   
_Time is running out but who cares we're running free_   
_Hell yeah, we're crazy youngsters_   
_We don't apologize, we're mad and running free_

_(Cause we got) Hey, we got a lot of things to do (Hey)_   
_Hey, we got a lot of things to prove_   
_(Yeah we got) Yeah we got a lot of room to grow_   
_(Hey) Yeah we got a lot of miles to go_   
_So we keep driving, we keep driving_

Crazy Youngsters – Ester Dean

* * *

"You dinnae remember me, do ye, lad?" Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott asked Bones when she introduced them to each other. Apparently, it was an unnecessary introduction.

"Oh, I remember. You're the crazy Scot who almost got yourself blown up on the Yorktown," her husband said.

"Aye. And you're the grumpy med student who missed your girlfriend," Scotty –as she was told to call him- said. "How'd that all turn out?"

"I got my MD, then I married her," Bones chuckled.

"Well, congratulations, lad. Ye got yourself something special with this one. The lass managed to impress a bunch of people who aren't easily impressed," the engineer said.

"I do what I can," she smiled.

"And then some," Bones whispered to Scotty. "You ready to get your hands on the Enterprise?"

Working with Marvick was like being a kid in a candy store. Not only did she have access to all kinds of cool tech, she also got to meet some of the best engineers in the Federation. And Montgomery Scott was something of an engineering savant. As good as he was at everything, the man's specialties were transporter technology and warp systems. Marvick calling him in meant that the engines on the Enterprise were gonna be amazing.

Scotty smiled, "Oh, I was born ready, lad."

* * *

"I want one," Jim whispered to her dad.

"Well, when a boy and a girl love each other very much…"

"You know what I mean, asshole," she chuckled. She doesn't know why her dad kept taking recruitment assignments but he brought her along whenever his potential recruit was a child prodigy. Today, they were here to see a fourteen year old super genius. "What do you know about this kid?"

"Pavel Andreievich Chekov. Born twenty-two forty-one in Tagnarog, Russia. Spent a few years on the Luna colony of Mare Imbrium. Bunch of elite Russian and international schools, ultimately entered Moscow State University. The kid has a PhD in math and a master's in physics," her dad told her.

"He's really fourteen?"

"Yea. You wanna meet him?" he asked. She nodded and the walked over to the kid who was working on three different algorithms at the same time.

"Pavel Chekov," Jim said. The boy looked up at her. "Hi, I'm Jim Kirk."

* * *

"I'm telling you, Jim. Your dad is already putting together his crew for when the Enterprise is done. He wants this girl on his team," Dex told her.

Her father's old yeoman, Colt, got promoted and took orders on a ship right before the whole Ajilon Prime thing. Dex kind of fell into being her dad's assistant and Jim could admit that it was pretty awesome that her friend was sticking around HQ.

"So why am I here and not him?" she asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

"Because there's still a bit of the boy's club thing going in Starfleet and she needs to meet someone who's a direct contradiction to that practice," he sighed as he looked around for his friend.

It was a sad, hard truth in the fleet. Jim's never been discriminated against because of her gender -thanks, George- but it happens all the time. The difficulty with merging a lot of cultures into a community is that people's customs, and prejudice, are still part of who they are. It takes work to get rid of it and Humanity was still working.

"Tell me about her," Jim said.

"She's the linguist. Attended the Nairobi Girls Academy, advanced studies of the Earth-Romulus War. Just got her degree from the Institute for Advanced Mathematics in Harmonic and Functional Analysis," Dex said. "There she is."

Jim looked up to find a gorgeous –like insanely gorgeous- woman heading in their direction. If Jim wasn't married, she'd be thinking of a million and three ways to get this girl to go out with her. Long, dark hair that fell in silky strands down her back. Eyes that reminded Jim of dark chocolate. Slender build, with the body of a runner or a dancer, maybe both.

"Is she just going to stare at me, or is she going to tell me why I should join Starfleet?" the girl asked.

"I'd tell you not to flatter yourself but you know that you're beautiful. I'm not hitting on you, married, I'm just pointing out a fact." Jim held her hand out, "Commander Jim Kirk."

"I know who you are, Commander. Someone your age rises the ranks as well and as fast as you did, people pay attention. Your family only adds to the curiosity. I'm Nyota Uhura."

* * *

"What are we looking at?" Bones asked as he sat in the grass next to her and took her hand in his.

"The spot where my house used to be," she muttered. Jim hasn't been here in a long time. She's managed to avoid trips to Riverside since she was a kid and if it wasn't for the shipyard –which was put here to honor her father- she wouldn't be in this town at all. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Your dad checked the location on your communicator," he told her. "You okay?"

"Surprisingly, yes. I thought I was gonna have a hard time being here but I don't. Maybe it's because I know that there was nothing I could've done. Or maybe because I know that I wouldn't be who I am today if it hadn't happened. Dad wouldn't have raised me, we wouldn't have met or gotten married. All of that started right here."

"Glass half full, darlin'?"

"Something like that. How are the new recruits?"

"A pain in my ass. I don't know why I agreed help Chris with these idiots," Bones sighed.

"Me," she chuckled as she played with his wedding band. "You were very distracted when I brought it up."

"You're very distracting," he chuckled before standing up. "Come on, I heard some of the kids are gonna check out the bar near the shipyard. We should keep an eye on them. I don't feel like patching anyone up tonight."

"Not even me?" Jim asked as he pulled her up.

"Especially you. There are a lot more interesting things we can do with our time."

* * *

"Hey, is the old man in?" Jim asked Dex.

"He is but Admiral Barnett is in there too," he told her. "You're gonna have to get in line behind these three." Dex motioned to the cadets standing near his desk.

"What's with them?" she asked.

"No idea," he chuckled.

Jim sighed, "Cadet…"

"Hendorff, sir," the tall man said.

"Why are you here?"

"I was ordered to report, sir," Hendorff told her.

"What did you do?" she asked. Her dad already has a lot on his plate, he wouldn't just add to it unless there's a reason.

"I was in a fight with another cadet, sir," the cadet told her. She looked at the man next to him and noticed that both men had bruised knuckles.

"Who won?" Jim asked them.

"I did, sir," the other cadet said. She looked at him. "Cadet Hastings."

"Dex, five demerits each. Assign them both to my hand-to-hand class," she said.

"Yes, sir," her friend said.

"You're dismissed, gentlemen," Jim told them before looking at the last cadet. "You, what do you want?"

"To fly," the Asian cadet told her.

"But?"

"I have a PhD in astrophysics and a master's in interstellar navigation. Someone, in their infinite wisdom, decided to put me on the science track. I'm a pilot. I came to Starfleet to fly. Captain Pike's my advisor, I need him to change it," the cadet said.

"You any good?" she asked.

"I'm very good and I'm more than willing to demonstrate," he smiled. Jim knew the look in his eyes. It's the look that Gary gets when he's at the helm. The look that Bones gets when he saves someone's life. The look she sees in the mirror when she's doing her job. Pure joy.

"I'll have you reassigned to the command track and have the captain sign off on it," Jim said.

"Just like that?" he asked.

"Just like that. Hope I get a chance to see you fly, Cadet…"

"Sulu. Hikaru Sulu."

* * *

"What can I do for you, Mister Spock?" Jim asked her friend as she stepped into one of the labs he uses.

Being the wonderfully brilliant creature he is, he graduated from the Academy as a Lieutenant Commander and he was working as the new programmer for a lot of the old systems. Like her, he was also slated to teach some classes.

"There is something you need to see," he said as he handed her a PADD as she sat on one of the stools.

"What am I looking at?"

"I have been running various analysis of the weapon signatures from the Klingon vessels at Ajilon Prime," he told her. "Today, I searched the fleet's database for any similarities and I found one."

"That's… there's no way," she muttered as she read the information.

"It is not beyond the realm of possibility, Jim. The Narada was damaged near Klingon space and has not been seen since. It appears the Klingons have found a way to reverse engineer the advanced weaponry that disabled the Kelvin."

"We're gonna have to tell the brass." If the Klingons have even a dozen ships with this weapon on them, the fleet was in trouble. "What's this?" Jim asked as she pulled up one of the scans from her father's ship.

"I do not know," Spock whispered before he put it on one of his screens. "An element of some kind. Give me a moment." She watched as he searched a system she was unfamiliar with. "It is decalithium, a rare isotope. The information is limited."

"How limited?"

"Classified by the Vulcan Science Academy," he said. Most people would miss the surprise in his voice, but Jim caught it.

"The Vulcan Science Academy doesn't just classify elements. What does that stuff do? And why was it in the wreckage of my father's ship?" Jim's been over and through all the information she could get her hands on about what happened to the Kelvin but she's never had access to the Vulcan's database to fill in some of the gaps.

"I do not know. Perhaps, we should ask them," Spock said.

"Aren't you having enough of an issue with your father?" Jim asked. She didn't want her curiosity to cause him more problems with his dad.

"We are not going to ask my father. We are going to talk to my mother."

* * *

"You shouldn't be poking around in classified information, Spock," the woman on the comm said to him.

"It was not our intention. We were conducting research and this is where it has led us. Is there anything you can tell us about this isotope, mother?"

"I can't. I really wish I knew what this stuff was. I'll tell you what, I'll keep digging into it from here and I'll let you know if I find something."

"That is satisfactory," he said.

"Normal people say 'thanks for doing me a favor, mom'," Jim chuckled.

"She's right," Lady Amanda, Spock's mother, said with a smile.

"I am not normal," Spock told them. Both women looked at him. "Thank you, mother."

"See, that wasn't so hard," Jim chuckled.

"I like her. Maybe you two should…"

"She is married, mother," he said.

"Oh. Well, we should still find you a nice girl. Something about T'Pring rubs me the wrong way," Amanda said.

Jim knew that like other Vulcans, Spock was betrothed to marry a Vulcan girl he bonded to when he was a child. Apparently, the girl didn't grow up as she was expected to because Jim could see the disdain on Amanda's beautiful face.

"Mother. I am perfectly capable of engaging with people socially," the half Vulcan said.

Jim and Amanda looked at each other. The younger woman chuckled, "I'll see what I can do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I decided that I'm gonna go AU for the movie. Like really AU. Because of that, I had to get the rest of our team out of the locker room and onto the field.


	38. Secrets

_Tell me what you want to hear_   
_Something that will light those ears_   
_Sick of all the insincere_   
_So I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

_This time don't need another perfect lie_   
_Don't care if critics ever jump in line_   
_I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

Secrets – OneRepublic

* * *

"Why did I agree to this?" Bones asked as Jim landed the shuttle at the Vulcan Science Academy Shuttle Port.

"Because you're just as curious as we are," she chuckled. "Besides, it's a mini-vacation. How often do we get one of those?"

After months of research, Lady Amanda came through for them in a big way. She couldn't tell Jim and Spock over the comms what she found so, as soon as their students were out on training cruises, they decided to go see her. Bones, who Jim told everything to, opted to tag along.

"Spock," a voice said as they disembarked. Lady Amanda was there waiting for them.

"That's Spock's mother," Jim whispered to her husband as the woman wrapped her arms around Spock.

"Mother, that is enough," their friend said.

"S'chn T'gai Spock, I am your mother and I have not seen you for nearly two years. If I want to fuss over you, so be it," the woman told her son. Jim and Bones both snickered.

"You are not helping," Spock told them.

"We know. You should be grateful, our mothers are dead. I'd give just about anything for my mama to fuss over me like that," Bones said.

"Ditto. Dad tries but it's not the same," Jim smiled. "Lady Amanda, it's nice to finally meet you in person."

"And you, Commander," Amanda said.

"Please, it's just Jim. This is my husband, Doctor Leonard McCoy."

"Ma'am," Bones smiled.

"Doctor. Welcome to Vulcan," Amanda said with a smile as she looked at them. "I was going to offer you all a chance to rest, but I know better. Once Spock starts working on something, there's not much you can do to stop him. So, we have a meeting over at the Vulcan Science Academy."

* * *

"That's a bunch of bullshit and you know it," Jim said to Selka, the head of the Vulcan Science Academy.

"Jim," Bones and Spock said at the same time.

"What? He's giving us the runaround. Burying us in junk information in an effort to distract us from our main objective. Why are the uses and properties of decalithium classified?" she asked the Vulcan standing in front of them.

"The information is dangerous in the wrong hands," a new voice said from behind her. "We seek only to protect Vulcan and the Federation."

"A lot of good that did. That stuff was found with what was left of the Kelvin and you didn't bother to say anything then. The scans show it in trace amounts, no doubt transfer from the giant Romulan ship that the Klingons have somehow managed to get their hands on. So, pardon me if I don't fall for the company line. What is it?" Jim asked the man.

"Come," the man told them. Jim wasn't entirely sure she wanted to follow him but Spock gave her a nod. The three Starfleet officers fell into step with the man, Lady Amanda stayed behind with Selka. "What you are about learn is classified at the highest levels. You cannot share it with anyone outside of yourselves."

"We understand," Bones said before she could open her mouth to argue. They walked into a secure lab. The Vulcan pulled up information on one of the screens.

"It is called Red Matter," he told them. Jim stepped closer to the hologram. "It is still in development as we have not yet stabilized the compound. We began experimenting with decalithium ten years ago, we were not aware that it was found near the USS Kelvin."

"What does it do?" Jim asked.

"If utilized properly, it will be able to create singularities," the Vulcan said.

"You mean black holes?" Bones asked.

"Yes," the man said.

"For what purpose?" Spock asked.

"That, I cannot share with you," the Vulcan told them.

"So, the Vulcans are making this Red Matter stuff that creates black holes and, somehow, Nero got his hands on some and popped up from God knows when. Do I have that right?" Bones sighed.

"Not Nero. The Vulcans wouldn't have just given it to him, he wasn't alone," she said. All three men looked at her. "Captain Robau's gear was recording when he was on the enemy ship. They asked him about another vessel. They asked him about… you." Jim looked at her friend.

"I do not understand. I was three Earth years old when the Kelvin was attacked," Spock said.

Jim searched her PADD for the transcripts. She usually skips over Robau's stuff but she has read it before. She used to think it was just a coincidence but with time-travel in the mix, it was more likely that the Spock mentioned to Robau and her Spock were the same person. She found it and put it on the screen, "Read this."

_Unidentified: Look at this ship. Are you familiar with this craft?_   
_Robau: Who is your commander? Is it him?_   
_Unidentified: I will speak for Captain Nero._   
_Robau: Then ask Captain Nero, what gives him the right to attack a Federation vessel?_   
_Unidentified: Do you know the location of Ambassador Spock?_   
_Robau: I'm unfamiliar with Ambassador Spock._   
_Unidentified: What is the current stardate?_   
_Robau: Stardate? Twenty-two thirty-three point zero four. Where are you from?_   
_-Signal lost-_

"Holy shit," Bones mumbled. "How is that possible?"

"Theoretically, this technology could be used to create a tunnel through space-time," Spock said.

"Dammit, man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist. Are you suggesting that Nero's from the future?" Bones asked.

"Not this future… a future," Jim sighed as she sat down. "Nero's presence has altered the flow of history starting with the attack on the Kelvin. This is essentially an alternate reality to the one he came from. The time continuum was disrupted, our lives as they were meant to be have changed. The new question is; where is the other Spock?" Jim asked.

"I do not know," their friend said. "Father, is it possible that he has come through the singularity at another time?" So, the tall Vulcan was Sarek, explains why Spock was quick to follow him.

"Yes, but I know of no such instances," Sarek said.

"Then he still hasn't popped up yet," she said. "And, unless the Klingons killed him, Nero is still out there. Probably looking for Spock too."

"After twenty-three years, Jim?" Bones asked.

"Vulcans and Romulans live long lives, a couple decades is nothing if you do it right," Jim told him. "Thank you, Ambassador Sarek. We will keep the information about the Red Matter to ourselves."

"Thank you, Commander. Spock, I am acquainted with an expert in temporal mechanics. I will have him contact you," Sarek told his son. "Perhaps he can assist you in locating this other version of yourself."

"Thank you, father."

* * *

"I want to know how he ended up with her," Bones whispered in Jim's ear as they had dinner with Spock's family. "It's very… illogical."

"Lady Amanda, how did you and the ambassador meet?" Jim asked.

"There isn't much to tell," the woman smiled. "It was twenty-two twenty-eight. I was a teacher, mostly seven and eight year olds. We took a field trip to the embassy. Now, we were informed that the ambassador wasn't going to be there, so imagine my surprise when I'm explaining Vulcan culture to my students and there he was. We were introduced and he asked me to accompany him to a reception. Something about being a 'most knowledgeable Human'. A year later, we were married. First on Earth and then here on Vulcan."

"And Spock?" Bones asked.

"He came nearly a year after that," Amanda sighed. "Have you two ever considered children?"

"We have. Just not anytime soon," Jim said. "I don't think Bones can handle having two of me around just yet."

"Oh, please, our kids will take after me. You're crazy," her husband said.

"You're the one who married me. So who's really crazy?" Jim asked. Bones opened his mouth to say something, then closed it when he realized that she was right. "See."

"You guys are so adorable," Amanda smiled. "Any luck finding Spock a girl?"

"Actually, I do know someone," Jim said. "She's awesome."

"Jim, we have discussed this. I do not need you to set me up," Spock told her.

Bones smiled, "Even if it's with Uhura?"

"Nyota Uhura?" Spock asked. Jim and Bones both nodded.

"Who's Nyota Uhura?" Spock's mother asked.

"She's a linguistics cadet. Top of her class. Proficient in eighty-three percent of official Federation languages and regional dialects, plus a few others. She's also Vice President of the Academy's Chorale Ensemble. Beautiful, intelligent, logical yet compassionate. And he likes her," Jim said.

"She is an exceptional student," Spock said.

"Uh, she's not your student anymore," Bones reminded him. "Word is, she's the new Academy aide for the advanced phonology and advanced acoustical engineering courses."

"Looks like she'll be working in your department," Jim smiled. She could swear that she saw a green blush creeping up his ears.

"What of T'Pring?" Sarek asked.

"She is dating Skonn," Amanda said. "Now, tell me more about Nyota."

"Mother," Spock said, "that is unnecessary."

Bones smiled, "Give it up, Spock. You can't stop the girl talk once it started. Only options are to ignore them or join in."


	39. Father and Daughter

_I'm gonna watch you shine_   
_Gonna watch you grow_   
_Gonna paint a sign_   
_So you'll always know_   
_As long as one and one is two_   
_There could never be a father_   
_Who loved his daughter more than I love you_

Father and Daughter – Paul Simon

* * *

"You should come to bed, darlin'," Bones whispered against her neck. "You can't solve the universe's problems overnight."

"I don't think I would call almost seven months as being overnight, Bonesy," she sighed. "I just wish that there was something… anything. We keep hitting a brick wall. Spock's getting frustrated too, which is impressive considering that he's Spock."

"Well, maybe you both need to just take a break from all this," he said before pressing a kiss behind her ear. "I mean, when you aren't working your two jobs, you're looking for a Vulcan from the future. Maybe you just need to reset before I take it upon myself to sedate you."

"Funny thing is, I know you'd do it too. What did you have in mind?"

"I think we should spend the weekend in Hawaii," Bones said.

"You, man who hates the ocean, want to go to Hawaii?" Jim asked him.

"Believe it or not, Spock was talking about a trip he took to Hanalei Bay. His mother recommended it and he said it was peaceful and 'aesthetically pleasing.' We could go lay on the beach. Explore the island. I could watch you swim."

"If we're going to Hawaii, you're swimming with me," she smiled.

"You in a bikini is enough of a reason for me to just about anything," he chuckled. "Does that mean we're going?"

"Like I could ever pass up having you to myself for two whole days."

* * *

"OH MY GOD!" Jim said. She was standing in hallway outside her dad's bedroom and got an eyeful. "You can't close the door?" This is why she and Bones never moved back in with her dad after the got back from Ajilon Prime, it was to avoid her dad walking in on them.

She and Bones had just got back from Hawaii the day before and she commed her dad to see if he wanted to have dinner. After a day and a half with no answer, and Dex not being able to get a hold of him either, Jim decided to check the house. What she found was much more than she expected.

"It's my house," her dad said.

"I'm still coded to the locks," she pointed out. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Jim, sweetie," Pippa said as she tried to follow her.

"You know what, don't tell me, I don't want to know," Jim told them, then she stopped and glared at her dad, who just pulled on pants. "You have a girlfriend."

"Jim…" he tried.

"No. Don't you dare 'Jim' me. You have a girlfriend who's on the other side of the sector and you're in bed with Pippa. This is _not_ what Gramps and I meant when we told you to talk to each other. Robbins is wonderful and brilliant and badass. Pippa's always been awesome. They don't deserve this. They don't deserve be cheated on or… or snuck around. How long has this been going on?" she yelled at him.

"A little over a year," her dad told her. "But…"

"She knows, Jimmy. Robbins knows," Pippa cut him off. "We're all together. Me, Chris and Eugenie. He took your advice and we all talked and this is what we decided. We were gonna tell you but stuff kept coming up, then it was just easier not to say anything. Trust me, this is not how we wanted you to find out."

"The three of you are together?" Jim asked incredulously.

"Yes. The three of us. Me and Pip, me and Genie, Pip and Genie. We're all in one relationship," her dad said. Polyamorous relationships aren't that uncommon, Jim just never expected her dad to ever be part of one. Then again, she rarely saw him date growing up, so maybe it was right under her nose the whole time.

"How am I gonna tell Bones about this one?" Jim muttered.

"We'll tell him ourselves," Pippa smiled.

"I just want to know one thing and I'll let it go. Are you happy?" Jim asked the two older officers.

"We are," her dad smiled. Pippa nodded.

"Okay, then," Jim said. "Sorry I yelled at you."

"Don't be. I can't wait to tell Genie that you think she's wonderful and brilliant and badass and you're you were trying to protect her from me," he chuckled. Her dad made a move to hug her.

Jim took a step back. "I love you and I love Pippa, but not enough for you to touch me with the hands you just had all over her body."

"Fair enough," her dad laughed.

"Well, now that I know you're alive, I'm gonna go bleach my brain. I saw way more of you than I'll ever be able to forget. We'll have dinner another day. Love you, guys."

* * *

"Your dad, Aunt Pippa and Captain Robbins?" Bones asked.

"Yes," Jim said.

"Your dad, Aunt Pippa and Captain Robbins?" he asked her again.

"Yes, Bones."

"How'd we miss that one?"

She chuckled, "I don't know. I usually have a really good read on dad… and on Pip. I completely missed it… Until I didn't."

"How much did you see?" he asked her.

"Just be glad it was me and not you, Bonesy," Jim cringed. "I think I'm gonna be scarred for life."

"It's not that bad. It's actually considered a rite of passage to walk in on your folks having sex. You're just late about it, darlin'. I walked in on my parents when I was about nine or ten," Bones told her.

"Really?"

"Yes. I don't remember the details just that I had a nightmare and, like a normal kid, went to my mom and dad. They were busy," he chuckled and his ears turned red.

"Still creepy as hell," she told him.

"Yes it is, but not uncommon. At least you didn't walk in on all three of them. That would've been interesting," Bones said.

"Stop, you're not helping. I think I need another vacation," Jim mumbled.

"We have to work, so I can't whisk you off again. I can, however, distract you," he said.

"How do you plan to do that, Doctor McCoy?" she asked her husband.

He smiled, "I'm sure I can think of something, Misses McCoy."

* * *

"No, no, no," Jim said as her dad it the last target.

"I win," he chuckled.

"You cheated," she nudged him. Jim and her dad haven't had much chance to hang out like they used to. So, imagine her surprise when he popped up at Jim and Bones' place and asked her to go to the phaser range with him.

"I did no such thing. You are just slow," Chris told her.

"I am not. You take that back, old man," Jim huffed.

"Make me, little girl."

She rolled her eyes, "You're lucky I love you… otherwise I would kick your ass from here to Orion and back."

"You couldn't beat me with one hand tied behind my back and blindfolded," he told her.

"You wanna bet?" Jim asked. "We can go."

He smiled, "Next time, I want to talk to you about something."

"It must be bad if you took me shooting first," she sighed.

"It's not bad," her dad smiled. "It's not even remotely bad. I just wanna get your thoughts on something."

"Did you ask them yet?" Jim smirked.

"How'd you know I was…?" He stopped as she gave him a look. "This is you I'm talking to. I haven't asked yet. I wanted to know what you thought before I popped the question."

"Well, with Pippa, it's about damn time. That woman is practically my mom already, so good on you for finally getting your head outta your ass. I don't know Robbins as well as I probably could but from what I do know, I like her. She makes you happy and she makes Pippa happy. If the three of you want to get married, it's fine by me. I get two moms instead of one, yay."

"Pippa said you'd say that," he chuckled.

"Like I said, she's basically my mom," she smiled. "You know, I'm not the person you're gonna have to worry about. You have to talk to Bones about marrying his Aunt Pip."

"I know. I'm worried that he might try to castrate me," her dad groaned.

"TMI, dad. Don't worry about it though, I'll keep you safe from my husband," Jim told her dad.

"You know you're always gonna the most important girl in my world, right?" he asked her.

She smiled, "I know. You're always gonna be the most important man in my life… unless I have a son someday. Then you and Bones are both getting the boot to the back seat.

"Wouldn't have it any other way, kiddo."


	40. Come Clean

_Let's go back_   
_Back to the beginning_   
_Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned_

_'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect_   
_Trying to fit a square into a circle_   
_was my life_   
_I defy_

_Let the rain fall down_   
_And wake my dreams_   
_Let it wash away_   
_My sanity_   
_'Cause I wanna feel the thunder_   
_I wanna scream_   
_Let the rain fall down_   
_I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean_

Come Clean – Hilary Duff

* * *

"That was fun," Bones chuckled when they finally got home from her dad, Pippa and Genie's wedding.

"Who knew that the brass could actually let loose sometimes?" she chuckled.

"You know, once upon a time, they used to be like us," he smiled. "Crazy kids with a dream. Everybody but Komack. That guy's an ass."

"Always has been. Pisses me off that we sorta share a name." Bones raised an eyebrow. "His first name is James."

"Sorry," her husband said as he pushed her onto the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a chuckle.

"I've watched you walk around in this dress all day," he whispered against her stomach. "I have kept my hands to myself but I've had just about as much as I can take."

"If you had given me a few minutes, I would've taken it off for you, Doctor," Jim sighed as one of his hands slid along her leg and the other wrapped around her waist.

"Maybe I want to take it off of you myself, Misses McCoy," he told her as he pressed kisses along her collarbone.

She smiled up at him, "By all means."

* * *

"You appear distressed, Nyota," Spock said to his girlfriend when she and her friend, an Orion computer programmer named Gaila, walked into his lab.

"Better now," the linguist smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"She's upset because the idiot in the long-range sensor lab wouldn't listen to her," Gaila told them.

"What happened?" Spock asked.

"It's not that big of a deal," Uhura sighed.

"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We won't know that unless you tell us," Jim sighed and looked up from the console in front of her. Uhura looked at her, then Spock, who nodded.

"I picked up an emergency transmission from a Klingon prison plant. An armada was destroyed. Forty-seven ships. But that's not even the odd part. From the sounds of it, they were attacked by one big ship," Uhura said.

Jim and Spock looked at each other before they both looked at Uhura, "Was the ship Romulan?"

"Yes. How did you guys know that?" Spock's girlfriend asked them.

"He found him. Now, he's making his move," Jim said.

"Indeed. I will contact my father, you should do the same," Spock said.

Jim hopped off the stool she was sitting on. "Yep. Cadets, you're both with us."

* * *

"How many people are on this ship?" Bones asked as they stepped into the turbolift.

"Forty-eight, mostly engineers and weapons officers, it's as low as the crew compliment can get. Some are people we've served with who were in the area and there are a handful of cadets at the tops of their classes," Jim told him.

"How long have you and Spock been putting that list together?" he chuckled.

"Almost a year. We figured that once we found the other Spock, we'd have to get to him. There's another list, but that one's for if we were out in the black already and needed backup options," she said just before the doors opened to the bridge.

"Still doesn't explain how you got them to give you a ship," he chuckled.

"They didn't give it to her, she's just borrowing it," her dad said from where he was standing behind Spock at the science console. "She read me in after you guys got back from Vulcan. I signed off on everyone being here. As far as the brass knows, Marvick and I are testing out a system that we can't test at spacedock."

"You told him?" Spock asked.

"Of course I did, he's my dad. Besides, we needed a ship and he would kick my ass if we stole the Enterprise without him," Jim chuckled. "We ready?"

"We are," her dad told them before he sat down in the command chair and Jim took the tactical console. "Mister Sulu, the commanders just sent you some coordinates near Vulcan, get us there, maximum warp."

* * *

"Sensors are picking up a ship emerging from the lightning storm," Spock said.

"Uhura, hail them," Chris ordered. Uhura gave him a nod before the viewscreen changed and an older Vulcan in light gray looked at them. "I'm Captain Christ…"

"Christopher Pike. It has been a long time. At least, it has been to me," the Vulcan told them.

"I'm sure… Mister Spock," her dad said. Jim watched the older man as a small smile crossed his features. "Your younger self and Commander Kirk figured it out."

"I am not surprised," Old Spock told her dad. She glanced back at her friend and smiled, he gave her a slight nod.

"Captain, we have another ship on approach," Jim said as she read the screen in front of her. "It's a big one."

"Nero. Mister Spock, I'm gonna advise that you get that ship into our shuttle bay and we get out of here before the Narada shows up," her dad said. The other Spock gave them a nod and cut the comms. "Jim, Spock, go talk to our guest. Sulu, get us out of here now."

* * *

"James T. Kirk."

"It's Jamison but I'll let it slide if you just call me Jim," she said as she looked at the man in front of her, Spock and Bones.

"That sounds like a conversation I have had before," the Vulcan said. "I must admit, I was not expecting you to be female."

"Guess alternate realities have that effect on things," Jim smiled.

"Indeed. However, the fact that the three of you are here together means that the timeline is attempting to repair itself. Chekov and Scott would both have a field day trying to figure it out."

"They're here," she told him. "Chekov and Scotty."

"Sulu, Uhura, Chapel?" the older man asked.

"All here," Jim smiled. "You can see them later. Right now, we need you to fill us in on Nero."

"He is a particularly troubled Romulan. Please, allow me. It will be easier," Old Spock said as he raised a hand towards her face.

"Whoa, what are you doin'?" Bones asked, standing between them.

"A mind meld. I will not hurt her any more than you would, Leonard," the old man told her husband. Bones raised an eyebrow. "I have been, and always shall be, your friend. Neither of you are in any danger from me."

"It's okay, Bones. I want to see," she told him. Bones gave her a nod and stepped back.

"Our minds. One and together," Old Spock said as he pressed his fingers against her face, pulling her into his mind. " _One hundred twenty-nine years from now, a star will explode, and threaten to destroy the galaxy. That is where I'm from, Jim. The future. The star went supernova._.." Jim watched as a star exploded, "... _consuming everything in its path. I promised the Romulans that I would save their planet_..." She watched as Spock talked to a group of Romulans, their Senate from what she understood in Spock's thoughts.

" _We outfitted our fastest ship_ ," he thought to her. The Jellyfish. An appropriate name for the ship that he was piloting. " _Using red matter, I would create a black hole which would absorb the exploding star. I was en route, when the unthinkable happened. The supernova destroyed Romulus_." Jim felt her heart break as the planet was consumed. She didn't have much love for the Romulans, but she didn't hate them either.

" _I had little time. I had to extract the red matter, and shoot it into the supernova to stop it from consuming the galaxy_. _As I began my return trip, I was intercepted_." Jim watched as Spock's small ship encountered the Narada. " _He called himself Nero. Last of the Romulan Empire. In my attempt to escape, we were both pulled into the black hole_." She could see as both ships were pulled into the singularity like Jim and her Spock had simulated in the lab a few times. She could feel the older man's approval and amusement at their attempt to find him before the Narada did.

" _Nero went through first. He was the first to arrive_ ," the old Vulcan's mind told her. Jim knew where the story picked up from there. Her mind went directly to the Kelvin. Every audio log, holo-vid and report she ever got her hands on in the last twenty-five years crossed her mind. The attack on the ship. Robau passing command to her father before he's killed by Nero's men, or Nero himself, the audio never made it clear which.

" _Sweetheart, listen to me_ ," Jim could hear her father say as her head pulled her to the recording of his last moments before she could clamp it down. " _I'm not going to be there_."

" _No_ ," was the only thing her mother could manage.

" _This is the only way you'll survive_ ," George said.

" _Please, don't stay on the ship. You have to be here_ ," her mom said.

" _The shuttles will never make it if I don't fight them off_ ," he told her.

" _George, I can't do this without you_."

A woman, Jim later learned was Doctor Yan'eal, could be heard in the background. " _Okay, I need you to push now_." For a few minutes, Winona screamed. Medication being what it has been in the last century, Jim knew that it wasn't so much her birth causing her mother pain as it was the impending loss of her husband. Baby Jim crying was the next sound on the log.

" _It's a girl, isn't it_?" George asked with a chuckle.

" _You were right_ ," her mother told him. " _No James or Tiberius_."

" _Tiberius is the worst anyway. I told you it would be a Tabitha_ ," she could hear her father say. " _Tell me about her_."

" _She's beautiful. She has your eyes, they're so blue_ ," Winona sighed. " _George, you should be here_."

" _Impact alert_ ," the Kelvin's computer said.

" _How about Jamison_?" her father asked. " _You don't like Tabitha, so how about Jamison after your dad? People can still call her Jim_."

" _That sounds perfect_ ," Winona said. For a long moment, there was silence.

" _Sweetheart, can you hear me_?" George asked.

" _I can hear you_ ," her mother said.

" _I love you so much. I love you_..." her father said but the log cuts out after that.

" _I am sorry, Jim_ ," Spock told her. She almost forgot that the old Vulcan was in her head. " _Your father is another life lost because of me. Because I failed_." She saw a glimpse of two men, one who looked like her father and this Spock's Jim, both were in uniform on a starbase. They were looking out at a ship. " _You often spoke of your father as being your inspiration for joining Starfleet. He proudly lived to see you become Captain of the Enterprise_." He pulled his hand away from her face. "Forgive me. Emotional transference is an effect of the mind meld."

"It's alright, I know you're a big softy," she told the older man as she took a shuddering breath and wiped the tears off her face, Bones' hand on the small of her back and her Spock's hand resting on her shoulder. "We gotta stop this guy."

"How do you plan to do that?" Bones asked.

"From what I can tell, Nero knows what that Red Matter stuff can do," Jim said. The older man nodded. "So we give it to him."

"Jim, that stuff is… is a weapon of mass destruction," her husband said.

She looked up into those hazel eyes she loves so much, "Exactly."


	41. Fight Song

_Like a small boat_  
_On the ocean_  
_Sending big waves_  
_Into motion_  
_Like how a single word_  
_Can make a heart open_  
_I might only have one match_  
_But I can make an explosion_

_And all those things I didn't say_  
_Wrecking balls inside my brain_  
_I will scream them loud tonight_  
_Can you hear my voice this time?_

_This is my fight song_  
_Take back my life song_  
_Prove I'm alright song_  
_My power's turned on_  
_Starting right now I'll be strong_  
_I'll play my fight song_  
_And I don't really care if nobody else believes_  
_'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me_

Fight Song – Rachel Platten

* * *

"Commander Kirk," Sarek greeted her.

"Ambassador," she said.

Jim glanced at his team, "Welcome to the Enterprise everyone. This is Yeoman Dex, he'll take you to the shuttle bay to fill you in on the plan and get to work. Ambassador, the captain would like a word with us."

"Of course," he said as he followed her out of the transporter room. "Is everything set to the correct specifications?"

"Yes, Ambassador. Spock and I did most of the work ourselves," she told him. "I just hope this pans out."

"Our math is correct, Commander. It is unnecessary to worry," her friend's father told her.

"That's what your son said. Both versions of him," Jim chuckled. "Sadly, I haven't really had the luxury of not worrying. Worrying less or more depending on the situation but never _not_ worrying. Nero is an unknown. I've studied as much about him as I could've but, until today, that information was very limited. The bulk of this plan depends on him following through the way we anticipate, our math can't account for that variable. Which is why I'm worried."

"My son considers you to be one of the brightest minds he has ever encountered. I agree," Sarek said. "I have no doubt that this plan will succeed, I also know that you have multiple backup plans in the event it doesn't."

"I do," she smiled.

"Then I was correct. It is unnecessary to worry," he repeated.

"I will try not to worry, that's the best I can do," Jim said as they stepped into conference room that was situated right outside the bridge. "Captain."

"Have a seat, Commander. Ambassador Sarek," her dad said in greeting.

"Captain Pike. Spock. Spock," the older Vulcan had a look of wonder on his face when he spotted the alternate version of his son. Jim could understand just what he was feeling, the idea of another Spock was a lot different than actually seeing him in person.

"So, Jim, this big plan of yours?" her dad asked.

"From what I know about Nero and what I've learned from Old Spock, he's out for revenge," she told the officers in the room. "I used to think the attack on the Kelvin was one of opportunity, now I'm certain that it was a fact finding mission when he popped up on this side of the singularity."

"Why do you think that?" Sulu asked.

"The log from Robau's comm for starters. Also, because after the Klingons captured him, Nero sat in a prison for twenty-five years and only broke out when Spock showed up," Jim said.

"So, he was waiting for the older version of Spock before he made his move," Uhura said. "Maybe he wants you to see what he's going to do."

"I thought that too," Jim said, "until Spock and I mind melded. Nero had a chance to kill him before they came through the black hole. Which leads me to believe that he wants something else."

"The Red Matter," Bones sighed.

"Yep. We're gonna give it to him," she said with a shrug.

"We cannot just give a madman the ability to create black holes, Jim," her dad said.

"Who said I was going to?" she asked.

"You just did," Bones told her.

"I said we were gonna give Nero the Red Matter, I didn't which Red Matter," Jim told them. Everyone in the room looked at her and she smiled. "Ambassador."

"The team that beamed aboard with me brought the Red Matter that the Vulcan Science Academy has been engineering for over a decade," the Vulcan told them.

"I thought you said that stuff doesn't work," her husband said to Sarek.

"It doesn't. It's incomplete and mostly inert," Jim smiled. "We're gonna swap 'em out. Put the useless Red Matter in the Jellyfish and put the real Red Matter on the Vulcan ship, save one drop. Then, we'll send the Jellyfish out into the universe."

"Won't Nero notice if Spock's not there?" Chekov asked in his thick accent.

"I will be there. Mister Scott has recently perfected a transwarp beaming formula, we are going to use it to beam me away from Nero when he takes the Jellyfish into the Narada," Old Spock said.

"Then, we will detonate the small charges that Doctor Marvick's team is planting in the Jellyfish. The explosion will ignite the one drop of real Red Matter, opening a singularity inside the Narada," Young Spock said.

"The Narada will basically implode on itself. Nero won't be able to pop up in another place or time," Jim told the room.

"That is the craziest thing I have ever heard," her dad said as he looked at her. "Let's do it."

* * *

"Is there any particular reason you called me down here?" Jim asked her husband when she walked into the mostly empty medbay.

"I need you to take a deep breath," he told her as they walked in the bare CMO's office. Jim raised an eyebrow. "Seriously. Take a deep breath, right now." She filled her lungs with air, held it for a second, then let it go. "Talk."

"I don't want to," she mumbled.

"If that was true, you would've given me some excuse and bolted out of here," Bones said. "Let's try that again. Talk."

"I hate that you can practically read my mind," Jim said.

"No you don't. Talk."

"He killed my father," she whispered. "I put on my 'Commander Kirk' persona and I try to ignore the little girl in my head that just found out how her father died and is curled up in a ball on the floor in tears. I don't know if I have the strength to do this, Len. I don't know... I just... I don't know."

"You do, darlin'. You do," he said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. "You got this, Jimmy. Me, your dad, everyone else… we all got your back."

"It's all of you that I'm worried about."

"Have you met me? I'm awesome."

"You are, but you know what I mean," Jim sighed.

"There is nothing in this universe that would take me away from you, darlin'. Not crazy Romulans or angry Klingons or anything else. I won't allow it. And nothing's gonna happen to you either. I'll bring you back from the dead if I have to."

"You could probably pull it off too," she chuckled. "What would I ever do without you?"

"For starters, you wouldn't be nearly as cool," Bones smirked.

"I wouldn't be nearly as happy, either," Jim smiled. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Just being you," she smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too, you crazy girl," he smiled. "Now, go finish what your father started."

* * *

"We have a weapon's lock," Jim said just as they were hit by a barrage of high powered torpedoes. "Shields are holding."

"Sulu, emergency evasive," her dad ordered. So, they weren't as hidden from the Narada as they thought they were. At least they sent the Red Matter off with Sarek's people because being fired upon with that stuff on board would've been really bad.

"Captain, they're locking torpedoes," Spock called.

"Avert auxiliary power from port nacelles to forward shields," her dad called just as the weapons slammed into them. "Jim, status report."

"Shields at fifty-two percent," she told him. "Their weapons are powerful, sir. I recommend that we avoid getting hit like that again."

"Is the package delivered?" her dad asked Uhura.

"Yes, sir. Scotty's beaming the other Spock over now," the communications officer said.

"Jim, as soon as we have confirmation that he's back, you detonate those charges," the captain told her.

"Yes, sir," she automatically responded as she continued to return fire on the ship.

"Captain, we're being hailed," Uhura said half a second before Nero popped up on screen.

"Hello," Nero said. Jim gritted her teeth so that she wouldn't say anything, she had plenty.

"Hello, Nero. I'm Captain Christopher Pike. You've declared war against the Federation. Usually, I'd tell you to withdraw and give you some line about a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location. However, you just took a bunch of chucks out of my nice, new starship and I'm not in the mood to be friendly."

"You realize that you're outmatched, Christopher," Nero said.

"No, we're not," her dad said. Jim got a message on her screen that Scotty had Spock. She looked back at her dad and he gave her a slight nod. Jim entered in the sequence to blow the Jellyfish.

"What was…?" They all watched Nero's face when the ship that he thought was full of active Red Matter exploded in his cargo bay. It was even satisfying to watch as he realized that a black hole was forming. Nero got up and ran out of their view. "Spock. SPOCK!"

"Keptin, the enemy ship is losing power. Their shields are down, sir," Chekov said with a smile.

"Miss Kirk, Mister Sulu, fire at will," her dad told the two officers. Jim and Sulu gave each other a nod as their hands went flying.

There was a small part of her, a tiny part, that considered offering Nero some assistance. But it wasn't her call to make and she was pretty sure that he wouldn't take the help even if they did offer it. Oh, well.

Everyone on the bridge of the Enterprise watched as the Narada twisted and contorted as it was pulled into the singularity that they created. Jim shared a look with her dad, they were both thinking the same thing, 'for George.' Her father could finally rest in peace now that his killer was gone.

Chris sighed, "Sulu, take us home."


	42. These Are My People

_These are my people_  
_This is where I come from_  
_We're givin' this life everything we've got and then some_  
_It ain't always pretty_  
_But it's real_  
_That's the way we were made_  
_Wouldn't have it any other way_  
_These are my people_

_We fall down and we get up_  
_We walk proud and we talk tough_  
_We got heart and we got nerve_  
_Even if we are a bit disturbed_

These are My People – Rodney Atkins

* * *

"I can't believe the brass agreed to this," Bones said.

"Yes, you can," she smiled. "We saved the galaxy, Bonesy. They'd be idiots not to give us what we want. Besides, my dad's request was pretty tame when you consider what he could've asked them for."

After a big –read: massive- debrief with the Admiralty and some repairs to the Enterprise, the ship was going out on a one year mission. Her dad used his one and only golden ticket to get Jim assigned as his first officer. Usually, the brass discourages members of the same family from serving in the command staff, save medical, and they outright forbid putting a member of the captain's family in the first officer position. It took a combination of her exemplary service record, the standing requests from other captains for her to be their XO, and the fact that they stopped Nero together for the brass to let her dad have the first officer he wanted. Her.

Interestingly enough, Jim wasn't the only person in the family he wanted. Bones was officially the Chief Medical officer. Her dad would've offered it to Pippa but she decided to stick around Earth. Gramps was retiring out soon, so he was there, and Genie's ship was due back from their patrol near Coridan.

Her dad also requested that everyone who helped them stop Nero stay on the crew. Marvick is the only one who turned him down, he had a bunch of ships in development that he didn't trust anyone else to get right. Unsurprisingly, Spock was staying as the chief science officer. Sulu, Chekov, Scotty and Uhura were also staying as the chiefs of their respective focuses. Though three of them were fresh out the Academy, they were the best in their fields, so it didn't matter.

"I still don't get why they agreed to it," he chuckled.

"Yea, well, there were whispers of making me the captain, this was the compromise," Jim sighed. While the idea of being the CO of the flagship sounded nice, there were too many politics at play. She could do it, which is why she was the first officer, but everyone would be watching and waiting for George Kirk's –and Winona Kirk's and Christopher Pike's and Philippa Boyce's and Eugenie Robbins'- daughter to fail. "Besides, two captains in the family is plenty. As much as I like the sound of Captain Kirk."

"I like Captain McCoy better."

"Of course you do. Technically, both would be correct," she said with a smile. "Captain Pike too but that would be confusing."

Despite years of refusing to change her name, she did a few weeks after they got married and so did he. On paper, she's Jamison Tabitha Kirk-Pike-McCoy and Bones is legally Leonard Horatio Kirk McCoy. No one uses her second or third surnames, except her dad when he's messing with her. Not like he had much room to talk, Christopher Richard McKinnies Boyce Robbins Pike was a long ass name, even if only a handful of people knew what it was.

"I doubt anyone would ever confuse you with Chris," he smiled.

"One would hope not."

* * *

"Clear a path," Jim said as she and Chekov ran though the ship.

The Enterprise was diverted from their mission of transporting a group of Federation officials to a conference and ordered to patrol at Station Sigma One near the Federation/Orion border. They were there to prevent hostilities from breaking out over the apparent defection of Muav Haslev, an Andorian scientific genius. Upon arrival at the border, the ship started having issues with equipment and systems. A problem in the warp core, and a bunch of banged up engineers, is why Jim and the wiz-kid were running. Half of Scotty's team was either in medical or on their way there and he needed a few extra hands in engineering while he tried to figure out what happened.

If that wasn't enough, Spock, Uhura and Gaila had their hands full trying to restore the comms. There was gear missing all over the ship and a malfunction with the transporter that left a young officer, Colman, dead. Jim suspected sabotage, and her dad agreed. Sending her and Chekov to engineering was to help with repairs, but also to be on the lookout for any suspicious activity.

"Three months, we do nothing but supply runs and surweys… Now, there might be someone on our ship trying to kill us," Chekov muttered as they slid down the last ladder to engineering, they refused to risk getting trapped in the turbolift.

"This isn't too bad, kid. At least not yet," she chuckled. If Jim's ever learned anything, it's that everything could always get worse so expect it too. They walked together to the main console near the warp core. "Scotty, where to you need us?"

"There's a problem with the power inverters, lass. And I could use another hand with the plasma manifold," the chief engineer told them.

"I'll work on the inverters," Jim said leaving the two men to the other task.

* * *

"I won't go back," Muav Haslev said as he held a phaser to Pavel's head. The scientist must've found his way onto the ship while all their systems were acting wonky.

"What are you gonna do?" Jim asked flatly.

"What?" he asked her.

"You aren't going back, so what are you going to do?" she repeated, motioning for the officers in engineering to lower their weapons. Scotty helped her out by issuing orders while she focused on the men in front of her. She'd have to hurt them if they accidentally shot the teenager that Haslev was using as both a shield and a bargaining chip.

"I…"

"You haven't thought that far. It's okay. Most people don't," Jim said with a small smile. "May I make a suggestion?" He gave her a nod. "Can you not point the phaser at his head? There are quite a few people on this ship, myself included, that are rather protective of our youngest crew member. I'd hate for you to kill him by accident."

Haslev stared at her for a minute before he lowered the weapon towards Chekov's torso. It would still do a lot of damage if the kid got shot but it wouldn't instantly kill him. The Andorian looked at her, "What now?"

"That really depends on you," she told him. "Whatever you're running from, it's not gonna go away simply because you left. As a matter of fact, it might start a war."

"I never wanted anyone to get hurt," he said.

"We never do. But we're soldiers, we know that people getting hurt is part of war. We can try to stop it, try to save everyone but we can't," Jim sighed.

"I have accepted that. It doesn't mean I want to facilitate more aggression and hostility. I don't want to fight, I'm tired of fighting. I'm a scientist, a thinker, I never wanted to be a warrior," the tall Andorian told her.

"Do you want to defect to Orion? Or are they just a means for you to get away from the Andorians?" she asked.

Though Andorians are part of the Federation, they were the most militaristic of the Federation's founding species. From what Hoshi taught her, Jim knows that Andorians have a predisposition toward violent behavior and everything in their lives was structured which helped tame their tempers. They excel under pressure and can contain their rage in public but they can have violent outbursts when they were alone, or it became too much. Jim had a feeling that she was watching an Andorian right on the brink of losing it.

"Away. I just want to get away," Haslev said.

"Okay. How about this, you take that weapon off of him and we go have a chat with the captain?" Jim offered.

"Why should I trust you?" he asked her.

"I'm not asking you to. I'm asking you to use your head. We can't stand down here all day. The Orions will no doubt come looking for you soon, the Andorians already are. There has to be some way you get to walk away without anyone coming after you. To live your life in peace somewhere," she said with a shrug. "If it makes you feel better, you can turn that weapon on me."

"You're serious," he said, his antennae twitching.

"I am." He looked at her, then the officers around them before he nodded his assent and moved towards her. She could see the security officers ready to pounce but she wouldn't let them. "Nobody is going to do anything stupid." The order was clear as day.

"I am sorry, Jim," Pavel whispered when they were right in front of her.

"It's not your fault," she gave the kid a smile. Haslev let Chekov go and wrapped a hand around her arm, the phaser pointed at her side. "Shall we?"

* * *

"What is the meaning of this?" her dad asked when they walked onto the bridge.

"Sir, you need to listen to him," she said, her voice as light as she could make it and made a motion for them to go in his ready room. In her head, she was screaming 'he's not the bad guy, dad' but saying that out loud wasn't the best idea. The captain gave her a look before he nodded.

The pair of officers and their Andorian guest left the bridge, Spock taking the chair. Jim could see the wheels in her friend's head turning at warp speed. She gave him a look that tried to convey that everything was under control and not to send anyone in there with them, if he didn't get it, she was sure that Uhura did.

As soon as the door closed, Haslev explained that he was coerced into working for some secret group inside Starfleet on a project to create a stable Omega molecule. The scientists' unsuccessful attempt resulted in the destruction of the subspace layer for several cubic lightyears in the Lantaru sector, rendering warp travel impossible in that area. Haslev was running from a man, Moore, who was sent to ensure his compliance.

"He's here," Jim said.

"That's why I exposed myself, you have to protect me," Haslev told her.

"I have two stowaways on my ship," her dad said. "One of which is a murderer."

"I believe Moore is a Starfleet officer of some kind," the Andorian said. Jim looked at her dad expecting to see some shock or surprise but there wasn't any. She'd have to ask him about it later.

"That doesn't make me feel better," her captain said. "Here's what we're gonna do…"

* * *

"That was anti-climactic," Jim muttered as she looked down at the officer sprawled out on the floor.

"Yea, well, I might not fight as pretty as you do but I can load a mean hypo," her husband said.

Her dad's plan was pretty simple, they put Haslev in medical with Jim and some security officers as bait since they didn't know who Moore was. Nobody thought anything when one of the medical techs, Sheeran, walked into sickbay and started checking stuff over, it wasn't until he got near Haslev that Jim noticed the hypo in his hand. Before she could say anything, he moved. Unfortunately for him, Bones was faster.

"Now what?" Chapel asked.

"We send him back to Earth and Haslev to Vulcan. He'll be safe there and the ambassadors agreed to find something for him to do," her dad said as soon as he walked into medical. "What'd you give him, McCoy?"

"Just a sedative. He'll be out for about six hours," her favorite doctor said with a shrug.

"Security, put him the brig. Haslev, I had quarters set up for you, I recommend staying in there until we get you off the ship," her dad said.

"I will. Thank you, Captain, Commander," the scientist said.

"Our pleasure," her dad smiled. "Nice work you guys. Miss Kirk, with me." She followed him out of sickbay and into a turbolift. "Computer: stop the lift." The computer complied almost instantly. "Of all the crazy things for you to do, you told him to aim a weapon at you. I should kick your ass."

"I'm fine, dad. I knew he wasn't gonna hurt me, he needed my help. Besides, it was me or Chekov," she smiled.

"Just... don't scare me like that again."

"No promises," Jim said. "Before you start this thing back up, can I ask you something?"

"About Moore or Sheeran… whatever his name is?" She nodded at his question. "You can't say anything to anyone, not even Lenny." She nodded again. "I'm pretty sure he's Section Thirty-One."

" _The_ Section Thirty-One?" she asked. He nodded. Section 31 was an officially nonexistent and rogue agency within Starfleet that claimed to operate in the name of the security of the UFP. Most people who knew about the group argued that they were either dealing with threats that the rest of the Federation couldn't handle or that they were out for themselves, the Federation be damned. "Our lives just got a lot more complicated, didn't they?"

"You have no idea, kiddo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided not to make Jim the captain just yet. She'll get the chair -without her dad dying- but her first mission as Captain is the end of the story, so I'm dragging my feet a little.


	43. I'd Come for You

_No matter what gets in my way_  
_As long as there's still life in me_  
_No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you_  
_I'd crawl across this world for you_  
_Do anything you want me to_  
_No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you_  
_You know I'll always come for you._

I'd Come for You – Nickelback

* * *

"I remind you, Captain, I'm entirely opposed to this delay. Your mission is to get those emergency medical supplies to Makus Three in time for their transfer to the New Paris colonies."

'Who the hell does this guy think he is?' Jim asked herself as Federation High Commissioner Ferris ranted and raved on the bridge.

"I'm aware, Commissioner. And may I remind you that I have standing orders to investigate all quasars and quasar-like phenomena wherever they may be encountered. Besides, it's three days to Makus. And the rendezvous doesn't take place for five," her dad said.

The ship was on their way to deliver Ferris' supplies to Makus 3 when their course took them near Murasaki 312, a quasar-like formation. Following his orders, her dad had the ship diverted to investigate. Now, Ferris was on the bridge bitching at them over it.

"I don't like to take chances. The plague is out of control on New Paris. We must get those drugs there on time," Ferris said.

"And they will be," the captain sighed before authorizing the shuttle Galileo to launch.

Bones, Spock, Scotty, Dex with Lieutenants Latimer, Gaetano and Boma were the team going to study the quasar. How Bones ended up going on this mission but Jim had to stay on the ship was beyond her. There wasn't much need for a tactical officer on a scientific study but she could've flown the shuttle or something. She entertained the idea that her dad was keeping her where he could see her but she knew he'd never do something like that and maybe he kept her here to stop him from killing Ferris. The guy was genuinely annoying.

"Sir, you need to hear this," Uhura said about ten minutes after the shuttle left. The captain gave her a nod.

Spock's voice came up over the comm, "Galileo to Enterpri… out of control… pulled directly into… violent radiation… Course three…"

"Is there anything else?" the captain asked.

"No, Captain," Uhura said.

"Try and get me a fix on the Galileo," her dad ordered.

"The scanners are blank, sir," Jim said from Chekov's station, he was at the science console. "We're getting a mass of readings I've never seen. Nothing makes sense."

"There is a negatiwe ionic concentration one point six four times ten to the ninth power meters," Chekov told them. "Radiation wave length three hundred sewenty angstroms. The harmonics upward along the entire spectrum."

"What does that mean?" Ferris asked.

"That thing out there has ionized this complete sector. None of our instruments work. At least four complete solar systems in the immediate vicinity. And out there somewhere, a twenty four foot shuttlecraft, off course, out of control," her dad said. Even if his engineering sucks, at least he gets astrophysics.

"So, a needle in a haystack?" Ferris said in the most condescending tone.

"No," Jim said, "a needle in a haystack is child's play."

"I was opposed to this from the very beginning. Our flight to Makus Three is of the very highest priority," Ferris said. Jim was about a second from punching him. Uhura was closer, she'll probably get there first.

"I'm aware of that, Commissioner," her dad said. "At the same time I have certain scientific duties I must perform and investigating the Murasaki effect is one."

"Yes, but you've lost your crew," the commissioner said. Jim chuckled silently, this guy has no idea who he's talking to. Her dad has been at this for a very long time, he knows what he's doing. The core of this crew, while young, is the very best in the Federation at what they do.

Her dad sighed, "We have two days to find them."

"Two days? In all that? Two days?" Ferris asked.

"And I suppose you would like me to leave them there?" the captain asked.

"You shouldn't have sent them out in the first place," Ferris said. Jim and Sulu shared a look. This guy did not just say that.

"Keptin, there is one planet in this solar system capable of sustaining human life. It's type M, oxygen, nitrogen, and it's listed as Taurus Two. It is unexplored. As far as we can determine with our equipment malfunction, it's just about the center of the Murasaki effect," Chekov said.

"Thank you, Ensign. Mister Sulu, set course for Taurus Two," her dad said.

"Aye, sir."

* * *

"Did you sleep last night?" her dad asked as they sat in his ready room, Sulu had the con.

"A little. It's not like I've never slept without Bones, it's just…"

"You sleep better when he's there," he smiled. She nodded. "I know the feeling. I also know that you went out with one of the search teams."

"I was awake, I was bored and I wasn't the only one. You went out there too," she chuckled.

"How do you know that?" her dad asked.

"I saw you in the shuttle bay," Jim smiled.

"I can admit that I'm... worried about my son-in-law."

"He has that effect on people."

"No kidding," he smiled. "You have an idea, don't you?" She gave him a look. "It's written all over your face."

"You won't like it if I tell you what it is," she sighed.

"Try me," he told her. Jim laid out her plan to him and watched a smile cross his features. "That's pretty good."

"Not my best but I'll make it work," Jim said with a smile. "Shall we?"

"We shall."

Together, the Enterprises top two officers went back to the bridge. Their two days was up and the only play they had left was a bit of a Hail Mary. They needed more time to search but there was no way to do that with Ferris on the ship, he could just take command. The only option they had was to force Farris' hand without him knowing that that's what they were doing.

"Any change, Miss Uhura?" her dad asked.

"None, sir," the communications officer answered.

"Pike, you're out of time," Ferris said. Then, for some reason, he decided to rub it in. "It grieves me to say that me must call off the search for your missing crew. Mister Spock in particular was an irreplaceable officer…"

"Is," Jim cut him off. He was making this impossibly easier.

"Excuse me, Commander?" Ferris asked her.

Jim didn't bother sitting at the tactical station, "Commander Spock _is_ an irreplaceable officer. Just because we haven't found him, doesn't mean we won't. Maybe you should temper you excitement at the idea that he's dead."

"I take no pleasure in abandoning your missing crew but there are people counting on those supplies," Ferris said.

"I'm well aware of that, commissioner. But what makes those people on New Paris any more important than our crewmembers? You said it yourself, Spock's irreplaceable. Well, guess what, he's not the only one. Those men are geniuses, two of them are husbands, one is a father. Are you gonna tell his wife and children that he wasn't important enough for you?" Jim asserted.

Ferris looked at her dad, "Captain, you should…"

"Tell my first officer to stop speaking her mind? Can't, it's why she's my first officer," her dad said. "Commander, do you need a few minutes?"

"Considering that I'm gonna be the person that has to tell my friend's children that we abandoned their father for some supply run…" she paused and took a deep breath. "Permission to stand relieved, sir?"

"Granted. Lieutenant Uhura, go with her," her dad ordered as Jim stepped into the turbolift. A second later, the other woman was beside her and the doors closed.

Uhura looked at her, "Nice act."

"Computer: shuttle bay. You caught that, huh?" Jim asked. She figured that the linguist would see though all that stuff on the bridge. As long as Ferris believed it, it didn't matter if nobody else did. Yes, she was worried, but not enough to argue with someone on her dad's bridge.

"Anyone who's ever been around you long enough knows that you're a bleeding heart, you just aren't that obvious about it. You're up to something."

" _We're_ up to something," Jim smiled.

"The captain is in on this and sent me with you on purpose."

"Of course he did."

"Is he crazy? This would mean that most of the command staff is gone…" Uhura said. Jim gave her a look. "Oh, that's a good thing."

Her dad won't leave without his senior officers. As soon as the bridge is alerted to their shuttle departure, he's going to keep the ship right where it was. Ferris can't do anything about it. "In this case, yea."

* * *

"Is that what I think it is?" Uhura asked from the co-pilot seat of the shuttle Ares. They picked up their search where the other teams left off. Jim was well aware that they could end up crash landing but it was still worth it to try.

"Yea, it is," Jim answered. They found the shuttle, and not a moment too soon because it looks like Spock was about to jump out with a body. "They're losing altitude, I think he's planning to lighten the load. Release the tether, we'll give 'em a lift."

"Tether away," the other woman said as she hit the switch. Uhura's hands moved over the controls. "Got 'em."

"Ares to Galileo," Jim said into the comm.

"Galileo here. What took ya so long, Jimmy?" Dex asked.

"Me and Uhura stopped to get a pedicure," she laughed.

"Well, you both have some cute feet… for humans," her friend said. "Thanks for the save."

"We did for Spock, apparently, he's irreplaceable," Jim chuckled. Uhura burst into laughter.

"That sounds like a story, darlin'," Bones' voice sounded over the speakers.

The two women looked at each other, "You have no idea."

* * *

"How bad?" Jim asked Sulu when she, Uhura, Bones, Spock and Scotty walked onto the bridge. He didn't say anything, just pointed to the ready room's door.

"… Starfleet Command will hear about this! I don't care how much pull you have, Pike. I will have their commissions for this," Ferris yelled as they walked out of the office.

"You're gonna have Jim Kirk's commission?" her dad asked, turning to look at the other man. "I'd like to see that. Go to Starfleet headquarters and tell them that you want Commander Jamison T. Kirk, the daughter of Federation hero Lieutenant Commander George Kirk, hero in her own right, to be stripped of her commission. She has a list of commendations longer than her arm and she's been pulling off MacGyver moves since she was ten. And don't get me started on Uhura, she was requested by nineteen different captains. You honestly think the brass is gonna kick out two of the best and brightest because they saved their shipmates against _your_ wishes? You can't be that stupid."

They all watched as the fight left Ferris, the captain had him and they all knew it. It's not like they were gonna be late. Jim looked over Sulu and Chekov's shoulders, according to their consoles, the ship would make the rendezvous with time to spare. Ferris looked at the group before he stomped off the bridge. For a second, nobody said anything.

"Not bad, sir," Jim said.

"I borrowed a play from your book," he said, turning his attention to the three officers who've been missing for the last two days. "You guys alright?"

"Yes, Captain," Spock said. "It is regrettable that Lieutenant Latimer was killed in action."

"I'm sure you did everything you could," her dad told the science officer. "Kirk and Uhura, you both violated a few regs and I can't let that slide, so I order you confined to quarters. Mister Spock, Mister Scott, Doctor McCoy, go get some rest."

"Yes, sir," the five of them said before leaving the bridge.

"He's so obvious," Jim muttered as they walked down the corridor.

"How do ye figure?" Scotty asked.

"Because he just confined Jim to a room with her husband and Uhura to a room with her boyfriend," Bones said.

"This goes on the list as the best punishment, ever," Uhura said with a smile. Jim was thinking the same thing.

"I dinnae wanna know. Sorry I asked."


	44. Intoxicated

_To the sky, flying high, take me to the moon,_   
_day or night, we don't have to say a word,_   
_cause you make me feel like I'm intoxicated, toxicated._

_Your eyes like a shot of whiskey,_   
_warms me up like a summer night._   
_Can you tell that I need ya with me?_   
_Let me drink you down tonight._

_No I don't just want any pretty face,_   
_wanna wake up next to yours each day._   
_Baby, won't you be my saving grace tonight, tonight?_

Intoxicated – The Cab

* * *

"Tell me what's bothering you," her husband said.

"I'm bored. Not right here with you, obviously, I mean with our mission. I get the importance of our surveys and studies but were supposed to be finding new life and so far, we haven't really found anything," Jim sighed.

"You know what they say about being careful what you wish for, darlin'," he chuckled. "Might not like what ya get."

"At this point, I don't know if I care."

"You do. You wouldn't want anything to happen to the ship just so you could see some action. Not your style, darlin'."

"Why are you being so logical right now?" she asked, her voice muffled by her pillow.

"I did spend two whole days with Spock last week. And few weeks before that you had to talk someone outta shooting Chekov," Bones said before pressing kisses along her shoulder. "I'm sure we don't want a repeat of that."

"That's true," Jim mumbled. "I don't have to like it though."

"Well, you know what I don't like?" he asked. She shook her head. "I don't like that look on your face when I'm trying to have my way with you."

"You're kissing my back, you can't even see my face," she pointed out.

"True but I know my wife," Bones chuckled against her neck. "You can fool everyone else, darlin', but to me, you're an open book. Pages and pages of brilliant words and vibrant illustrations."

"Where'd you get that one?"

"That is not a quote, Misses McCoy. I came up with that all on my own."

"Well, it's almost as beautiful as you are, Bonesy."

* * *

Bones was right. Who is she trying to kid? Bones is usually right anyway. The Enterprise was orbiting the planet Psi 200 to watch it's impending disintegration and pick up the science team on the surface. Spock and Lieutenant Joe Tormolen beamed down and found that the team they were sent to retrieve was dead.

The command staff, after examining logs and corrupted footage from the outpost, could only offer up conjecture as the first stage of the planet's destruction already started. That's also when things on the ship got downright weird. Tormolen, flipped out on Sulu, Dex and Chekov in one of the rec rooms before he stabbed himself. Bones and Chapel did their best but Tormolen still died from the simple stab wound. Bones told her that it was like Joe lost his will to live.

As Psi 2000's break up accelerated, the crew was losing their shit. Sulu flipped out on the bridge. Dex snapped at one of the astrophysicists. All three men became beyond insubordinate with her and Spock, especially, even flirting with them. Jim and Uhura ended up taking the helm and navigation consoles to help compensate for the plant's disintegration –Senior Command Women powers activate- while Spock got the others to sickbay. Jim thought that was the end of it when Spock came back, then the bridge was alerted that Sulu started running around the ship with a sword.

"Chekov, Sulu and Dex, locate and confine. I want every crewman who comes in contact with them medically checked," her dad said. Jim tugged at her uniform, she was hot all of a sudden.

"Fascinating. A pattern is developing. First, Tormolen. Hidden personality traits being forced to the surface. Then Dex, who fancies himself a descendant of Tyrellian kings, Chekov's more childlike qualities have surfaced and now Sulu, who is at heart a swashbuckler out of your eighteenth century," Spock said.

"Present condition of Psi two thousand," her dad asked.

"Gravity pull increasing. We've shifted to two percent and should stabilize our position," Spock told him.

"Helm, stabilize position," her dad told her.

"Helm's not responding to my commands," she said.

"Get us out of here," he ordered.

"I can't. There's no response from engines, warp or impulse," Jim said, she was becoming more and more bored the longer she sat in this chair.

"Engine room, we need power," Spock called down to Scotty. Jim didn't hear her friend over the comm but she could imagine it went something like 'The controls are dead, laddie. I'm giving her all she's got.' Everyone looked at her, she must've vocalized her thoughts.

"Go to medical," her dad said. "Straight to medical."

"I got it, geez. Always telling me what to do," Jim muttered. She didn't get very far since a very shirtless Sulu was in the turbolift.

"Richelieu, at last," the pilot said, brandishing his sword and staring past her at her dad and Spock.

"Sulu, put that thing away," the captain ordered.

"For honor, Queen, and France!" Sulu declared before he lunged at the security officers. Jim giggled and he gave her a smile before pulling her against his side. "I'll protect you, fair maiden." Jim giggled some more. She didn't even notice that her dad and Spock moved in and knocked Sulu out.

"You're no fun," Jim pouted as she reached up to touch Spock's ear. He grabbed her hand. "Oooo, you're Vulcan kissing me. I'm telling your girlfriend. Maybe she'll kiss me too, she's pretty."

"Spock, get them out of here," her dad said.

"Yes, sir," Spock said before he tosses Sulu over his shoulder with one arm and held onto Jim with his other.

"You're really strong," she said as they stepped into the turbolift.

"I am Vulcan."

"I know that, I'm just making an observation, Mister Spooocccckkkk."

* * *

"Bonesy. Bonesy. Bonesy," Jim called before jumping into his arms and planting a wet kiss on his lips. "Hiya, handsome."

"Hey, darlin'. I suppose she's infected too," he said.

"That would be correct," she heard Spock say. She was too busy finding spots to kiss on her husband's neck to really pay attention to the whole conversation.

"Well, at least it's me she's making out with me," Bones said. "I guess I'm gonna have to figure this out as soon as possible."

"That would be wise. While Jim is happy and flirtatious, other crew members are becoming increasingly aggressive," Spock said. "We have also lost helm, as Yeoman Dex has locked himself in auxiliary control. I fear you may not have long to find out what this ailment is."

"I'll go as fast as I can," Bones said before Spock left sickbay. "Alight, darlin', I need to run some tests on you." He sat her on one of the biobeds but Jim didn't move her legs from around him.

"But, Boonnneeessss, that's not fun," she pouted.

"I know. We can save the fun stuff for later," he smirked.

"You promise?" Jim asked as she played with the hem of his uniform.

"Of course I promise. Let me figure out what's going on with you and Sulu, then we can go back to our quarters and do whatever you want."

That sounded reasonable to her. "Okay. Hey, did you know that I love you?"

"Yes, I do know that. Guess what?" he asked her.

"What?"

Bones pressed something against her neck, "I love you too."

* * *

"What happened?" Jim muttered. She was in sickbay. Why was she in sickbay?

"Oh, the usual. Simple mission turned into a clusterfuck," her husband told her. "You got infected by this… polywater stuff. Somehow on this planet, water's changed to a complex chain of molecules. It passes by the water that's in our bodies. Mostly sweat, or in my case, saliva." She raised an eyebrow. "You kissed me. Anyway, once in the bloodstream, it acts like alcohol, depresses the centers of judgment, self-control."

"All I did was kiss you?" she asked.

"You flirted with Spock a little and you had an attitude with your dad but that's as bad as you got," he said.

"That's not too bad," Jim smiled.

"Funny thing is, if you haven't kissed me, I might not have figured it out so fast. Which is good considering that everyone got infected. I got to hypo your dad, and Spock, that was fun."

"How'd I get it?" Jim asked.

"Sulu from the sounds of it. He got it from Tormolen, who got it from the planet," Bones said. "Let me run a quick check on you, then I can let you go back to our quarters for some real rest."

"That's it?"

"Dex took over the ship, Spock and Scotty had to blow a door to control back. He was singing Tyrellian songs over the intercom about fifteen seconds after I sedated you. There were two dozen fights. Some hook-ups too. Oh, and we almost got sucked into an imploding planet."

Jim chuckled, "You were right, I'm never wishing for action again."

"We'll see."


	45. Keep Together

_So you see it's you and me and everybody in between_  
_Doesn't matter if we're green oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh_  
_Straining out the body we're sending for the starting gate_  
_This day might turn okay, it will be okay, oh okay_

_We'll keep together and oh, make it better_  
_We'll keep together and oh, make it better..._

_Keep together_   
_Keep together,_   
_Oh_   
_Let it roll_   
_Let it roll_

Keep Together –Hunter Hunted

* * *

"You are nervous," Spock said as they walked through the ship.

"I am," she replied as evenly as she could muster.

"You are aware that training cadets is a duty expected of most command level officers," he said.

"It's not that, Spock," Jim muttered.

"Then what is it," Uhura asked. Jim didn't say anything, she just handed over her PADD. "What am I looking at?"

"That's Kevin," Bones said. "She saved his life a long time ago."

"On Tarsus Four," Spock said. She told her friend what happened a long time ago. Jim figured if Spock ever had to meld with her, she didn't want him to be surprised by those memories.

"Wait, you were on Tarsus Four?" Uhura asked. Jim and Bones nodded. "Did you know Hoshi Sato?"

"I lived with her when I was there. She had a soft spot for my folks and Gramps. I guess she's the closest thing I had to grandma," Jim whispered. "She saved my life. Got me out of the house before Kodos' men showed up to execute us. They killed her and Takashi on the porch and just left them there like trash. I went back once… buried them in what was left of the garden. I... I did what she told me to do. I survived and I saved who I could, including him." She pointed at the PADD. "I guess I never thought he'd be old enough to be in Starfleet."

"You didn't keep in touch?" the communications officer asked.

"The families cut them all off from each other. She sends out feelers for him every once in a while, thinks I don't notice, but never gets anything back," Bones said.

She wasn't even remotely surprised that he knew she looked for her friends. She found Tom –as Tommy now preferred to be called- back when she was twenty-two right after he got his PhD in Agrobiology. Hasn't had a chance to see him but they message back and forth. She even got to read his research on this self-sustaining grain he was working on, putting her Agro-engineering degree to good use. Jim can't wait to tell him that not only did she know where Kevin was, but that Kevin was with her on the Enterprise.

"If you would prefer, I can address the cadets when they arrive from the starbase," Spock told her.

"That's very kind of you but I got it," Jim said with a small smile.

"You know if you need us…" Bones started.

"You'll be there. I know. I just… there are some things that I gotta do on my own," she smiled. "I'll comm you if I feel even the slightest bit off."

All three of them looked at her, "You better."

"That's really creepy, guys. Really."

* * *

"That's it, you're dismissed," Jim told the two dozen cadets. They all left the room as fast as they could, all but one. Jim and Kevin just stared at each other. "Lieutenant Kyle, can you give us the room for a moment?"

"Yes, sir," the transporter officer said before leaving them alone.

"You look good," he whispered.

"Me? Look at you. You're tall," she chuckled. It's not like she should be surprised. The last time she saw him, he was a malnourished and underweight six year old. At eighteen, he was a few inches taller than her and he was skinny but healthy. With the brown hair and greenish hazel eyes, he could probably pass for Chekov's slightly older brother.

"Growth spurt a few years ago. One day, woke up and all my pants were six inches too short," Kevin chuckled. "You're a commander already."

"You say that like I haven't been at this a long time," Jim smiled. "Got offered a few commands but the flagship is…"

"The flagship," he finished for her.

"I looked for you," she told him.

"I know. When I found out you were on this ship, I asked my aunt and she came clean that she never passed on your messages. She sent me twelve years' worth of stuff from you last week. Congrats on the wedding, by the way. I guess shouldn't be surprised about you and your Bones. Dude punched an officer for you."

"What are you talking about?"

He chuckled, "When the Olympus found us and we were in medical, they told him he couldn't see you. He punched one of the medics who got in his way. You didn't know that?"

"No."

"It was awesome."

"He's something else," Jim chuckled.

"No, he just loves you. Just like you love him. Like you love all of us," Kevin smiled. "Would you mind…? Can I…?" Jim knew what he asking and stepped into his arms, he wrapped his arms around her and they just stood there. If there were tears, neither of them were gonna mention it. "I didn't get a chance… I just… Thank you for saving me, Jimmy."

"You don't have to thank me, Kevin. You saved me too."

"I just remembered what you taught me about being brave and sticking together."

* * *

"So, apparently, you're cheating on me," Bones chuckled.

"What?" she gave him a look. "When, where and with who?"

"Kevin. There are a few rumors. You're too young to be his mother, so that one died already. Some people think he might somehow be your brother, which isn't too far off depending on how you wanna look at it. But, the funniest one is that you're cheating on me with him."

"That would be weird," Jim muttered.

"No kidding. I mean, anyone who's ever watched you with that kid knows he's more like your little brother than anything else. Besides, I spotted him with Chekov… I don't know which one to give the shovel talk to," her husband said.

"La la la, I can't hear this," she said, putting her hands over her ears. Jim looked at her husband for a long moment and dropped her hands. "How bad?"

"Not bad. They're sickeningly adorable together. Navigation jokes and physics stuff that I don't understand. And I heard Kevin say something in Russian. I didn't know he spoke Russian."

"He doesn't."

"Like I said, they're sickeningly adorable."

"What 'til I tell Tom that our baby is all grown up," Jim chuckled.

* * *

"Hey, boys," Jim said as she sat between Kevin and Chekov at their table in the rec room during lunch.

"Jim," they both muttered. They were two of the smartest people she knew, they had to know what was coming.

"Whatcha talking about?" she asked innocently, aware that every officer in the room was looking at them.

"Nothing important," Kevin shrugged.

"Da," Chekov agreed.

"I didn't ask if it was important," Jim said, holding back her smile. "I asked what it was about."

"We're just talking about dinner plans," Kevin admitted.

"You know, Pasha, I've known Kevin since he was six," she said. "Kid's practically my brother. I will and _have_ killed to protect him."

"I understand," Chekov said.

"Kevin, I recruited Pasha. As much as I love you, I'll have to hurt you if anything happened to him," Jim warned.

"I hear ya, Jimmy," her friend said.

"Good. You boys have fun," she said before getting up and walking back to her seat with Scotty and Sulu.

"That was evil," Sulu chuckled.

"Oh, please. Don't you both have siblings?" Jim asked. Sulu had two sisters, one older and one younger. Scotty not only had a younger brother and a younger sister, but his sister had a son who was a little younger than Chekov and Kevin. "Tell me you haven't given the 'don't hurt my sister or I'll hurt you' talk a time or two."

"I cannae say I haven't. My brother-in-law is good man but he knows exactly what Rob and I will do to him if he ever thinks about hurting Clara," the engineer chuckled.

"I might've pulled my sword on a few people," Sulu said.

She chuckled, "See, I'm tame compared to the two of you."

"Who gave you the shovel talk?" the helmsman asked after minutes. "I mean, you and McCoy both…"

"Believe it or not, Gramps. Though it wasn't really a shovel talk, it was more of a 'don't be dumb and let something good past you by' kinda thing. Dad gave Bones an earful though."

"Yes, I did," her dad said as he joined them at the table. "You mind if I sit with you?"

"No, sir," they all answered.

"So, the wiz-kid and Super-kid, huh?" her dad asked, looking at Chekov and Kevin.

"Looks that way," Jim chuckled.

"Why do you call him Super-kid?" Sulu asked.

"Ask later when there aren't any ears around," the captain said. It was Jim's fault. When she and Tommy first saved Kevin, he was terrified, and rightly so, but they needed him to be quiet and move fast. Knowing that his favorite comic book hero was Superman, Jim talked Kevin into being Super-kid.

"There's a story behind that," Scotty said.

Jim smiled, "There's a story behind everything."


	46. The Cave

_So come out of your cave walking on your hands_   
_And see the world hanging upside down_   
_You can understand dependence_   
_When you know the maker's land_

_So make your siren's call_   
_And sing all you want_   
_I will not hear what you have to say_

_'Cause I need freedom now_   
_And I need to know how_   
_To live my life as it's meant to be_

_And I will hold on hope_   
_And I won't let you choke_   
_On the noose around your neck_

_And I'll find strength in pain_   
_And I will change my ways_   
_I'll know my name as it's called again_

The Cave – Mumford & Sons

* * *

"They're pretty big. Seven feet tall is not unusual. They're extremely fast and strong. They can be highly dangerous. The Capellans' basic weapon is the kligat. At any distance up to a hundred yards, they can make it almost as effective against a man as a phaser. That's in addition to an assortment of swords and knives," Bones said as they stood in the transporter room.

"How long were you stationed on the planet, Doctor?" Spock asked.

"A little over a month when I was still at the medical academy. They're completely uninterested in medical aid or hospitals. They believe only the strong should survive," her husband said.

"Analysis?" her dad asked.

"Normally, I'd advise a large, well-armed landing team. But, the more people that we take, the bigger chance to violate one of their taboos," Jim said.

"Once they've got it into their heads we're showing force, you can forget them signing any treaty," Bones said.

"Okay," the captain told them. "Mister Spock, you're in command. Bear in mind that the Klingons have been sighted in this sector. While we're negotiating down there, we don't want the Enterprise to become an incident up here."

"Understood, sir," Spock said.

The Enterprise was assigned to come to an agreement with the Capellans for the right to mine their rare mineral topaline. Jim, Chris and Bones, who's been on Capella IV before, were going down to the surface while Spock had the chair. Usually, the captain and first officer generally avoided being off the ship at the same time but there were a long list of taboos on the planet, so Chris wanted the smallest and most efficient team. Bones was the only officer on the ship who understood these people and her dad was the captain, Jim was essentially their security and observer. She thought that her dad would bring Spock but Bones made it clear that having a woman in their party might be handy.

They beamed down to the planet and were greeted by Maab, advisor to the tribal leader. He 'asked' the three officers to turn over their weapons and gear as a show of good faith before negotiations could begin. Jim didn't like it but her dad gave her the order, so she followed it.

"I am Teer Akaar. I lead the Ten Tribes of Capella," a middle-aged man on a throne surrounded by guards told them just as a beautiful and very pregnant woman joined him. "And this is Eleen, a young wife to give an old man a son to rule these tribes."

"I'm Captain Christopher Pike," her dad introduced himself. "We come with open hearts and hands. My officers, Commander Kirk and Doctor McCoy."

"Welcome, honored guests," the Teer said to them.

"Is not the Klingon an honored guest also?" Maab asked Akaar.

"It was the Earth people who first bargained for our rocks," the leader said with a smile.

"Is it not best to have two who bargain for the same goods?" Maab asked.

The Teer looked at him, "It is I who speak for the tribe, Maab?"

"I speak for many, Teer," Maab said. "Hear the words of the Klingon."

"What do Earth men offer you?" A Klingon named Kras asked. "What have you obtained from them in the past? Powders and liquids for the sick? We Klingons believe as you do. The sick should die. Only the strong should live. Earthmen have promised to teach the youth of your tribes many things. What? What things? Cleverness against enemies? The use of weapons?"

"The Klingon speaks the truth, Akaar," Eleen said quietly.

"The Federation offers one other thing, Akaar. Our laws. And the highest of all our laws states that your world is yours and will always remain yours. This differs us from the Klingons. Their empire is made up of conquered worlds. They take what they want by arms and force," her dad said. Jim was a tiny bit giddy watching the diplomat at work but she didn't let it show.

"Good, good," Maab said. "Let the Klingons and the Earthmen offer us amusement. Capellans welcome this."

"The Earth men have different customs, but never have they lied to our people," the Teer said.

"There are those of us who won't bargain with Earthmen, Akaar," Maab said. The hair on the back of Jim's neck stood on end. As Bones would say, dem's fightin' words.

"Do you say you will fight me, Maab?" Akaar asked his advisor.

"Let that be your choice, Teer," Maab growled before he, Kras and the guard that came in with them left the room.

"This is not good," Jim whispered to her husband. "We need our comms back."

* * *

"Type of ship and location?" Jim asked Kras as she held his d'k tahg to his throat.

When the fighting started between Akaar's people and Maab's, the Klingon came into the tent that Jim, Bones and her dad were in. He even lunged at Jim with the damn weapon. Unfortunately for him, she's been sparring with Spock, Dex, Sulu and Hendorff since the ship left Earth. She was determined not to let what happened with her, Bones and that Klingon on Ajilon Prime happen again.

"A small scout ship, Commander. We need the mineral, too. I was sent to negotiate," Kras told her.

"Release him," Maab ordered. Jim just glared at him. "Akaar is dead. I am Teer. Release him." She removed the weapon from his neck but she refused to give it back just on principle. To have your d'k tahg taken, by a human woman no less, was a great dishonor. If he wanted it back, he'd have to kill her for it.

"Kill them now," Kras said.

"Wait. If you lead these people now, be certain you make the right decisions," her dad told Maab.

"Is the new leader of the Ten Tribes afraid? Let me kill them for you," Kras offered.

"Or let me fight the Klingon. It might amuse you," Jim said after glancing at her husband and her dad.

"Perhaps to be Teer is to see in new ways," Maab said, stepping closer to her. "I saw fear in the Klingon's eyes. I may be beginning to like you." He reached up to touch her but Jim stepped back. "You dare."

"She is a married woman," Bones said by way of explanation. If Maab would've touched her outside a fight, it would've been a grave offense against Bones. She wouldn't want her husband to have to kill somebody for touching her.

"We had an agreement," Kras said.

"That too may change, Klingon," Maab told him. "Bring her in." A few minutes later, Eleen is brought into the room and Maab shot a look at one of his men, who tripped the woman. Bones gave Jim a nudge and she leaped forward to catch Eleen, even burning herself on a hot plate of some kind.

"Are you alright?" Jim asked. Eleen didn't speak, she just gave a short nod as both women managed to get themselves back on their feet. Not wanting appear weak, Jim didn't look at her arm. Bones will have to do it later. Jim chuckled. "You're not the Teer."

"Watch what you say, woman," Maab told her.

"You have to kill her child," Jim said, standing in front of Akaar's widow. "Come on."

"I will see you all dead by nightfall," Maab told her.

Jim nodded, "We'll see."

* * *

"I'm sorry about that," Jim muttered.

"Don't be. You took the words outta my mouth, kid," her dad said.

"You allow all your officers such lenience, Captain?" Eleen asked.

"No," he said but didn't offer an explanation.

"We were supposed to check in over an hour ago. You could set a chronometer by Spock, so I'm gonna assume the ship's busy with something else," Jim said.

"Probably the Klingons," her dad said.

He looked at her, his eyes flickered to the guards, back to her then up at them again. Jim smiled and gave him a wink. She watched the fingers on his hand shift. To anyone else, it wouldn't've meant anything but she knew he was counting down. At zero, they both attacked the guards. Jim went straight for the jugular, putting the guard she attacked in a sleeper hold. Her dad sucker punched the other one.

"Nice TKO," Bones chuckled as he started to search the tent for their stuff. "Found comms."

"Not bad," her dad chuckled as Bones tossed them each their communicators. The captain tried to comm the ship. "Nothing."

"We need to move, sir," Jim said.

"You're right, let's go," he said. "Eleen, if you stay, they will kill you. Come with us and you have a chance." The woman nodded."

"Jim, stick with her. You're the only one of us who can touch her," Bones said.

"Copy that," she said, offering Eleen an arm to hang on to as they left the encampment.

* * *

"I don't know what I'm doing," Jim whispered to her husband. "You're the doctor."

"You've had medical training and you can read a tricorder, I should know, I taught you myself. That baby is ready to pop and I can't touch the mother, you're gonna have to do it. You can do it. The Captain and I are gonna figure out a way to buy us some time," he told her.

"That's my job," she reminded him.

"And you taught me well. Go, darlin'," Bones gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and followed her dad up the trail.

"Your husband would have his head," Eleen said, "if you were Capellan."

"He is my husband," Jim said, sitting in front of the woman. "On our world, we're considered equals. If a woman wants to be a warrior or a teacher or anything else, she has the same rights as her male counterparts to do so. I wanted to be a Starfleet officer, he wanted to be a doctor. He didn't really care where he worked, so we work together. My dream and his, merged together. It works for us."

"You look at him with such adoration," Eleen said.

"I love him. I always have. We've known each other since we were children. There's no version of my life where he doesn't fit into it. Bones is the better parts of me," Jim scanned the woman with the tricorder before she sat it down and put her hands on Eleen's belly. "You're close. He'll be here soon."

"How do you know?"

"Perks of being married to a really good doctor."

* * *

"Fight! Are you warriors or children? Maab, I will flee. When the Klingon turns to fire, I'll…" Eleen said just Maab drew his knife, silencing her.

So Maab and Kras caught up to them. Not that they didn't put up a good chase and a decent fight but they were a tiny bit outmatched and Jim was carrying around the baby that she helped Eleen deliver.

"As Teer of the Ten Tribes, I give you back your life," Maab told Eleen. "Mine is now forfeit. Keel, stand ready." He walked towards Kras. "Klingon!" As expected, Kras fought dirty, drawing a phaser and shooting Maab with it. Maab completely disintegrated, his man, Keel, threw his kligat, killing Kras. Everyone left from all sides stood over the body as Spock and a team of redshirts ran around the corner.

"Drop your weapons," Spock said.

"It's alright, Mister Spock, they're not going to harm us. Especially since Jim's holding the rightful leader if the Ten Tribes of Capella," her dad said. Jim smiled as the little boy snuggled against her. When Eleen ran off, she made Jim promise to keep him safe.

"He got a name?" Bones asked.

"Leonard Christopher Akaar," Eleen said as she took the baby from Jim's arms. "As his mother, and regent, I will you the mining rights. It's the least I can do. Thank you, for everything, Commander."

Jim smiled, "It was our pleasure, ma'am."


	47. In My Life

_There is no one compares with you_  
_And these memories lose their meaning_  
_When I think of love as something new_  
_Though I know I'll never lose affection_  
_For people and things that went before_  
_I know I'll often stop and think about them_  
_In my life I love you more_

In My Life - The Beatles

* * *

"You wanna tell me what that look on your face is all about?" Jim asked her husband.

"Huh?"

"Ever since the mission on Capella you've been giving me with this look. What gives, sweetheart?"

"It's not important," he smiled.

"We don't do that. You got something to say, say it."

"It's just…" Bones sighed. "Seeing you with that baby might've gotten to me a little. You were standing there with him bundled up in your gold shirt and he was snuggled against you and for a few seconds…"

"You thought about what it would be like if we had our own child," she finished for him.

"Yea."

"Do you want to have a baby?" Jim asked.

"You already know the answer to that?" he chuckled.

"I mean in the next few years. Do you want to have a baby?" she repeated.

"Yes, I do," Bones answered. "But only if you want to."

"Of course I want to. I'm just worried about all this and being a mother. I can't be good at everything and I don't want to bring a child into this universe if I'm not gonna be the best mother I can be. I also don't want to resent our child if I couldn't do my job anymore," she whispered. Of course she didn't bother saying that they could both die and that's what scared her the most, he knew it.

"You know that I would never let that happen. Neither would your dad or Gramps or Pippa or Genie or Spock or Dex or Gaynor or anyone else for that matter. We'll come up with a plan and we'll talk to each other and to our family. And no matter what happens, our son or daughter will be loved."

"How is that you aren't freaking out about this?" Jim asked.

He chuckled, "Because I can freak out when the baby's here and won't stop crying unless she's in your arms."

"You're serious."

"Yes, I am. So?"

"So."

"So."

"We have to wait until our contraception wears off," she muttered. They've both been on birth control since Ole Miss, it was mandatory for all single Starfleet officers. Once they got married, they kept up the bi-annual hypos because it was easier.

"Doesn't mean we can't practice," Bones smiled before he pressed kisses along her neck.

"Well… we're pretty good at practicing."

* * *

"Spock, are you okay?" Jim asked her friend. He'd been off for days. "Come on, I'm gonna take you to medical."

"There is no need, Jim," he muttered. Muttered! Spock doesn't mutter.

"If you don't go, I'm just gonna have Bones come down here," she told him. "And I'll call your mother."

"Poking and prying! If I want anything from you, I'll ask for it!" he yelled at her. Jim sent her husband, her dad and Uhura a quick message, thankful that they were in Spock's quarters instead of anywhere else on the ship. She had an idea what was going on but she had to ask his girlfriend.

"Do you need to go to Vulcan?" Jim asked.

"What do you know of my needs?" Spock growled at her just as her dad, Bones and Uhura walked into the room.

"You're my friend and I love you but growl at my wife again and it won't matter what you need because I'll hypo your ass into next year," Bones said before he looked at Jim. "What's wrong with him?"

"Pon Farr," Uhura told them.

"Ahh," her dad said. "I'll have helm divert us from our course to Altair Six."

The Enterprise was one of a half-dozen ships due to attend an inauguration. Her dad was gonna have to explain to the brass why he diverted without actually telling them. Vulcans don't talk about Pon Farr, Jim only knew because Amanda warned her that it might happen and someone was gonna need to be rational for Spock when he couldn't be rational for himself.

"Ya'll wanna fill me in," Bones asked.

"We shield it with ritual and customs shrouded in antiquity," Spock told him. "You humans have no conception. It strips our minds from us. It brings a madness which rips away our veneer of civilization. It is the Pon Farr. The time of mating. There are precedents in nature. The giant eelbirds of Regulus Five, once each eleven years they must return to the caverns where they hatched. On your Earth, the salmon. They must return to that one stream where they were born, to spawn or die in trying. I'd hoped my mixed heritage would spare me from this but the ancient drives are too strong. Eventually, they catch up with us, and we are driven by forces we cannot control to return home and take a wife. Or die."

"Uhura…" Bones looked at the lieutenant.

"It's not as simple as the captain marrying us. Bonding is required for a true Vulcan marriage. Which isn't a problem any other time, but Spock's mind is not his own and I'm human. We'd need an Elder to meld with us to make sure he doesn't kill me or drive me insane. I told him to tell you but you know Spock, he wants to suffer in silence," Uhura said quietly.

"Is there anything we can do in the meantime?" her dad asked.

"See if you can get him to eat," Nyota chuckled. "Keep him away from people."

"Alright," the captain said. "McCoy, you're on food. Jim, comm his family."

"Yes, sir," they both said.

"Mister Spock, you are confined to quarters and you will submit to Doctor McCoy's orders. Uhura, we need to talk."

* * *

"You look semi-normal," Jim said to her friend.

"I have been meditating and Leonard is a good cook."

"Don't I know it," she chuckled and Spock smiled. A real smile.

"Forgive me, my emotions are not under my control."

"It's okay. Smiling looks good on you," Jim chuckled. "You wanted to see me?"

"Will you and Leonard beam down to the planet's surface and stand with me? There is a brief ceremony," he told her. "I understand that Lieutenants Gaila and Sulu will be there to accompany Nyota."

"Is it permitted?"

"It is my right. By tradition, the couple is accompanied by their closest friends," Spock told her.

"We'd be honored to attend."

* * *

"This is the land of my family. It has been held by us for more than two thousand Earth years. This is our place of Koon-ut-kal-if-fee," Spock said after they beamed down to the planet. Uhura beamed down shortly before they did, going straight to Sarek and Amanda's home.

"He called it hakuna what now?" Bones asked.

"Koon-ut-kal-if-fee, Bones. It means marriage or challenge. We gotta get Uhura to teach you some Vulcan. In the distant past, Vulcans killed to win their mates," she told him.

"They still go mad at this time. Perhaps it's the price they pay for the tight control they have over their emotions the rest of the time," her husband shrugged. He wasn't exactly wrong.

They watched as Spock walked over to a lovely area set up like an alter and struck a gong. He explained to her before they beamed down that he'd have to do that three times. Once to signal Uhura, a second time when the bride arrived and a third to signal the beginning of the ceremony.

"She approaches," Spock said, looking off to something Jim couldn't see. Damn Vulcan senses. There was a jingling sound and Spock hit the gong again as Uhura, Spock's parents and their friends entered from one side and an older woman who was carried in on a chair from the other. Jim's eyes went wide. One, Uhura looked gorgeous – _gorgeous_ \- in the tan beaded dress that Amanda was obviously holding on to for her. Two, Spock's officiant was a living legend.

"Do you know who that is?" she whispered to her husband, practically bouncing in her boots. He shook his head. "That's T'Pau. She's the only person to ever turn down a seat on the Federation Council. Remind me to tell you the story Hoshi told me about her working with Archer and T'Pol."

"She's officiating Spock's wedding?" Bones asked.

"We always knew his family was important but I never knew just how important," Jim whispered as T'Pau's chair was placed on a dais.

"Spock, are our ceremonies for outworlders?" T'Pau asked.

"They are not outworlders. They are my friends. I am permitted this," he replied. The old Vulcan made a gesture for them to approach her. Jim, Bones, Gaila and Sulu stepped forward as requested. "This is Jamison."

"Ma'am," Jim bowed her head.

"Her husband, Leonard. Gaila and Hikaru," Spock said. Bones copied Jim's action, as did Gaila and Sulu when they were introduced to T'Pau.

"Thee names these outworlders friends. How does thee pledge their behavior?" the woman asked.

"With my life, T'Pau," Spock answered. Jim was touched, he trusted them so much that he'd bet his life on it.

" _What thee are about to see comes down from the time of the beginning, without change_ ," T'Pau said in Vulcan, Jim whispered a translation to Bones while Gaila did the same for Sulu. " _This is the Vulcan heart. This is the Vulcan soul. This is our way_." Spock stepped up, Uhura across from him, and rang the gong again. " _Spock, son of Sarek and_ Nyota _, daughter of_ Alhamisi _, are you prepared to pledge yourselves to each other_?"

" _We are_ ," the pair replied in Vulcan.

" _Do you pledge to help each other to develop your hearts and minds?"_

" _We do_."

" _Do you pledge to see all circumstances as a challenge to help you grow to accept yourselves, and each other_?"

" _We do_."

" _Do you pledge to seek to understand yourselves, each other, and all living beings_?"

" _We do_."

" _When it comes time to part, do you pledge to look back at your time together with acceptance that we cannot hold on to anything forever_?"

" _We do_."

T'Pau nodded to Spock, who touched Uhura's face. He whispered something to his bride before her eyes flickered closed. A moment later, Spock pulled away and T'Pau mind melded with Uhura. Bones gave Jim a look.

"She's verifying their bond," Lady Amanda whispered.

"Y _ou cannot possess me, for I belong to myself, but while we wish it, I give you that which is mine to give. You cannot command me, for I am free but I shall serve you in those ways you require. Knowing how deeply our lives intertwine with each other and with all beings, we undertake the practice of growing together each day. We undertake the practice of using whatever arises for our own awakening and for the awakening of all beings. We undertake the practice of being completely vulnerable and honest. We undertake the practice of refraining from judgment. This is my vow to you_ ," Spock and Uhura said to each other.

"It is as it shall be," T'Pau said. "Go now and complete your bond."

"Live long and prosper, T'Pau," Spock said.

"Peace and long life, son of Sarek."

* * *

"The brass mad?" Jim asked her dad when the door to his ready room let her in.

"Nope. Did you know that Spock is practically royalty?"

"I found that out today, T'Pau officiated their wedding," she chuckled.

He let out a low whistle. "That explains why she contacted Starfleet to 'request the Enterprise's assistance in a matter of the utmost importance'. I thought I was seeing things."

"Well, you are getting old," Jim smiled.

"I'm telling Pippa and Genie you said that."

"I hate to break it to you but they love me and if it ever came down to me and you, they'd pick me."

"As much as I hate to agree with you, you're right."

"Usually am. You have chow yet?" she asked.

"I have not. Paperwork," he told her.

"How about you bring the paperwork, I'll bring the food and we meet in port observation? Two heads are better than one. And I can tell you about the wedding over dinner."

"Ten minutes?" her dad asked. Jim nodded. "It's a date."


	48. Am I Wrong?

_Am I tripping for having a vision?_  
_My prediction: I'mma be on top of the world_

_Walk to walk and don't look back, always do what you decide_  
_Don't let them control your life, that's just how I feel_  
_Fight for yours and don't let go, don't let them compare you, no_  
_Don't worry, you're not alone, that's just how we feel_

_Am I wrong_  
_For thinking that we could be something for real?_  
_Now am I wrong_  
_For trying to reach the things that I can't see?_

Am I Wrong? – Nico & Vinz

* * *

"What are you doing up here?" Jim asked her husband.

"All these years and I've never seen you in the chair," he chuckled. "Looks good on you."

The USS Enterprise was ordered into star cluster NGC 321 to open diplomatic relations with the civilization there. After several unacknowledged hails, they got a message from the planet Eminiar VII, the principal planet of the cluster: code 7-10, meaning to stay away at all costs. Ambassador Robert Fox overruled her dad's wish to honor the request, and forcibly ordered him to take the Enterprise into the system. Leaving Jim in command, her dad took Spock, Dex and a team of security officers with him to the surface.

"Is that your professional opinion?" she asked.

"Yes. You'll get my other opinion later," Bones told her with a wink. "How's it going?"

"Oh, you know. Just waiting to hear back from the away team," Jim told him. "We can't raise them but until they miss the check in, I gotta hang tight, even if my instincts are telling me something's wrong."

"Sir, message coming in from the Captain," Uhura told them. Talk about timing.

"Kirk here, Captain," Jim said.

"Good news, Miss Kirk. The Eminians have agreed to the establishment of full normal diplomatic relations," her dad told her but there was something off about it. The way he was talking didn't sound quite right.

"Mister Fox'll be glad to hear about that," she chuckled.

"They've also extended an invitation to all personnel to come ashore for shore leave. They've assured me that our people will have a wonderful time," the captain told her.

"All personnel?" Jim asked, giving her husband a look.

"All personnel. We'll transport up trained Eminians to assume support positions. Those are my orders, Miss Kirk," her dad said. There was no way in hell her dad would approve letting people they didn't know work on the ship. Jim and Scotty would never allow it, even if he ordered them to, and he knew it.

"Aye, sir. We'll start forming shore parties immediately. Kirk out," Jim cut the comms. "That wasn't him."

"What do you mean?" Sulu asked.

"I know his voice better than I know my own. I'd bet my career that that wasn't him," she told her friend.

"So, it's not just me," Uhura said. "Something sounded off to me in his inflection and syntax. So, I ran an analysis against the captain's logs for the last month. That's not his voice, it's just a close copy. Best guess is a voice duplicator."

"That means they're in trouble," Jim sighed.

"What do you wanna do?" Bones asked her.

The acting captain took a breath, "I don't know. Yet."

* * *

"All stations reporting in. Deflector shields are at full power. Phaser crews ready. Sensors reading zero," Chekov told her. "What…? Sensor readings just shot off the scale."

"They're shooting at us," Jim sighed.

"Ewerything is holding, Keptin," Chekov said. "We're getting extremely powerful sonic wibrations. Decibels eighteen to the twelfth power. If those shields weren't up we'd be dead."

"I guess that answers our question, Jim," Bones said.

"So, what did they do with our people?" she asked.

"Whatever it was, we'll get them out," her husband told her.

"If they're alive, and if we can find them. That's a big planet," Jim pointed out. "We can't fire full phasers with our shields up, and we can't lower them with their disruptors on us. Of course, I could treat them to a few dozen photon torpedoes."

"You'll do no such thing, Miss Kirk," Fox said as he walked onto the bridge.

"Mister Fox, we're under attack. They're trying to knock us out of the sky," she told the idiot.

"You have taken defensive measures," the ambassador said.

Jim scoffed, "Of course I have, but…"

"There are no buts. Obviously it's a misunderstanding, and one of my jobs is to clear up misunderstandings," Fox said.

"A misunderstanding is getting the wrong order at a restaurant. Shooting at us is not a misunderstanding. And they're holding our captain," she replied.

"We have no proof of that," he told her.

"You haven't seen any proof, that doesn't me we don't have any," Jim asserted. "I understand that you're on a mission but I'm responsible for the safety of this ship and everyone on it."

"The success of this mission is more important than this ship. Is that clear? We came here to establish diplomatic relations with these people," Fox said.

"They're the ones firing at us, Mister Fox," she pointed out.

"This is a diplomatic matter. If you check your regulations, you'll find that my orders get priority. I'll try to make contact with the planetary officials," Fox said before he looked at Uhura. "Lieutenant, open up a channel and keep it open. Tell them to expect a priority one message from me. There will be no punitive measures. Those are my orders." He glared at her before he left the bridge.

Bones looked at her, "You're gonna ignore him, right?"

Jim smiled, "What do you think?"

* * *

"A channel is open, Ambassador," Uhura told Fox. "You will be speaking to Anan Seven, head of the High Council of the Eminian Union."

"Mister Anan, this is Robert Fox," the ambassador said. "Special Ambassador for the United Federation of Planets.

"A great honor, Mister Ambassador," Anan said, the communication was on the bridge's speakers.

"We have approached you openly with the intent of establishing formal and friendly relations between our peoples, but now, for some reason, you have attacked us, and apparently you're holding several special representatives of our Federation," Fox said.

"A mistake, Mister Ambassador. We are at war. An error in our sensors indicated that your ship was about to attack us. I'm giving orders that our attack be stopped. Now, as to your representatives, you have my sacred word as an Eminian that they are alive and well," Anan said.

"Thank you. I thought perhaps it was all a mistake," Fox said, giving Jim a look.

"Kirk, disruptor beams are no longer hitting us," Sulu whispered to her.

"Maintain status," she told him.

"We are most anxious to establish relations with you, Mister Fox. We will make arrangements to receive you," Anan told Fox before there was a pause. "I apologize deeply for the misunderstanding. These are trying times for us, you understand."

"I understand," the ambassador said. "Mister Anan, I presume that you have our ship's Captain on hand when I beam down."

"He will be there, sir," this Anan guy said. "I give you my word."

"I'm sure that from this day forward, your planet and our Federation will attain the deepest friendship. I look forward to seeing you," Fox said before he gestured at Uhura to end the transmission and looked at Jim. "Diplomacy should be a job left to diplomats. You will, of course, immediately resume a peaceful status."

"No," Jim said.

"What did you say?" Fox asked her.

"I said 'no.' I will not lower the shields until my captain tells me to and not a second before," she told him as she stood from the command chair.

"You are taking orders from me. You will lower the shield as a sign of good faith. My authority," the ambassador told her.

"I know about your authority, ambassador, that doesn't change my decision," Jim said.

"Mister Fox, they faked a message from the captain, they've launched an attack against our ship. Now you want us to trust them openly?" Bones asked from behind her.

"I want you and expect you to obey my lawful orders," Fox told her.

"I have my own orders to follow, I will not jeopardize the eight hundred and sixty-eight lives aboard this ship because you told me to. The shields stay up," she told him.

"Your refusal to comply with my orders has endangered the entire success of this mission. I can have your commission for this," Fox growled.

"I'd like to see you try," Jim said. "I'm one of the best tacticians in the fleet. When TacComm has a problem they can't figure out, Admiral Kane calls me personally for my opinion. I have more commendations than I have fingers. And I'm not the first officer because I can't handle a command position, I've had one and I've been offered eight in the last year, I'm the first officer because I want to serve on this ship with this crew. You want to report me, report me, the brass'll get a laugh out of it. Right now, I have a job to do, you don't have to like it but I don't answer to you. Now get off my bridge."

Fox glared at her before he left though the starboard side door. Jim took a deep breath and sat down in the command chair.

Bones chuckled, "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Captain Kirk."

* * *

Jim's never seen Uhura look as relieved as she did when Spock commed. Their Vulcan science officer told them that Anan wanted everyone on the ship to come down so that his people could kill them in some twisted game of civilized war. If Jim knows one thing, it's that war doesn't change and there's nothing civilized about it. Unfortunately, the information came about five minutes after Ambassador Fox decided to ignore their warnings and beamed down to the planet. With this new information, Jim decided to move the ship the minimum safe distance. Not five minutes later, someone from the planet commed again.

"Sir, it's Anan," Uhura said.

"This is the Enterprise," Jim said.

"Jim, General Order Twenty Four. Two hours! In two hours!" her dad yelled. She shared a look with her husband.

"Enterprise, this is Anan Seven, First Councilman of the High Council of Eminiar. We hold your Captain, your Ambassador and their parties as prisoners. Unless you immediately start transportation of all personnel aboard your ship to the surface, the hostages will be killed. You have thirty minutes," Anan told them before the comm cut out.

"Go to red alert. Mister Sulu, Mister Chekov, the captain gave us an order, lock in your targets," she told them.

"Jim, are we really gonna destroy this planet?" Bones asked her quietly. General Order 24 was an order to destroy all life on an entire planet. Whatever was going on down there must've been really bad if her dad was ordering her to kill millions of people… including him, Spock and Dex.

"If we have to," she told him. About fifteen minutes after she was given the order, the ship was set. She ordered Uhura to open a channel. "This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise. All cities and installations on Eminiar Seven have been located, identified, and fed into our fire-control system. In one hour and forty five minutes the entire inhabited surface of your planet will be destroyed." Jim gestured for Uhura to close the comm.

"Now what?" Bones asked her.

"I try to figure out how to get our people out while we wait for the captain to work his magic down there."

* * *

"Kirk here, Captain," Jim said.

"Cancel implementation of General Order Twenty Four. Alert transporter room that we're ready to beam up," her dad ordered. Her dad, Spock, Dex, Fox and the others must've managed to turn the tide on the surface.

"Copy that," she told him. "Mister Sulu, you have the con. Bones, with me." They left the bridge and got to the transporter room just as the team was beamed up. "Have fun?"

"Nope," her dad chuckled. "Did you?"

"Plenty. You okay?" Jim asked, noticing some minor cuts and bruises on the whole team.

"Nothing McCoy can't fix," the captain told her before looking at Bones. "How'd she do?"

"She's Jim Kirk," her husband shrugged.

Her dad smiled, "That good, huh?"


	49. The Weight of Living

_There's an albatross around your neck,_   
_All the things you've said,_   
_And the things you've done,_   
_Can you carry it with no regrets,_   
_Can you stand the person you've become,_   
_Ooh there's a light_   
_Ooh there's a light_

_Your Albatross, let it go, let it go,_   
_Your albatross shoot it down, shoot it down_   
_When you just can't shake_   
_The heavy weight of living_

The Weight of Living pt. 1 - Bastille

* * *

" _You are hereby directed to surrender for trial by the people of Dramia, Doctor Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer, USS Enterprise… The wanton slaughter of hundreds of people… Plague which ravaged the planet Dramia Two…"_

The words rang in her ears.

The Enterprise had just completed a delivery of medical supplies to the planet Dramia and were getting ready to leave when the Dramians arrested Bones. Jim didn't know what was worse, that they thought Bones could murder anyone or that the Federation approved the warrant. Now she was pacing the Hall of Justice with her dad, waiting until they could see Bones.

"He's gonna be fine, right?" Jim muttered. "Right? I mean, he has to be okay. Please tell me he's gonna be okay."

"I don't know, kiddo, I just don't know," her dad sighed, his age showing in his features more than usual. He was worried. That was never a good sign.

Eventually, Commander Demos, the Dramian who arrested her husband, came to take them to see Bones. "You are aware that your Doctor McCoy was part of a mass inoculation program on Dramia Two, seven years ago."

"That doesn't make him responsible for the plague. There were ten other people on that team, including Doctor Griffin, the team leader," Jim said, remembering the trip that took Bones away from Earth when he was in the medical academy and she was on the Farragut.

"His trial will tell, Commander Kirk," Demos told her.

"Trial?" her dad asked. "You mean kangaroo court. I've heard about Dramian justice." Demos looked at them, but he didn't say anything as he led them to her husband's cell.

"Bones," Jim said, her hands on the glass.

"Hey, darlin'," he said.

"We're gonna get you out of here," her dad said. "This is crazy."

"Is it? Maybe we messed something up. I wish I could be as sure, but I don't know. Is it possible that we really caused that plague?" Bones asked.

"No, it's not," she told him. "The end of the inoculation program and the outbreak of plague could just be a coincidence."

"Or a tragic mistake," her husband sighed.

"I don't buy that for half a second, Bones. We'll find out what really happened," Jim said. She hoped they were fast enough. "I love you."

"I love you too, darlin'," Bones smiled. "Hey, Cap… Chris, keep an eye on her for me."

"You got it, Lenny. We'll be back as soon as we can."

* * *

"Historical records of this solar system are spotty at best. Mostly they're technical data, meteor showers, auroras, radiation reports," Spock told her.

"That's it," Jim and her dad said at the same time.

"Plague, Dramia Two. Of unknown origin, characterized by pigmentation changes in skin of victim, debilitation, death. Certain species known to have natural immunity, notably Vulcan. Hmm. Interesting," her friend said as he read the screen.

"Mister Sulu, Dramia Two, warp six," her dad ordered. Sulu nodded and sped the ship up.

"Captain, beyond this point, we will lose communications with Starfleet," Uhura alerted him.

"Good, wouldn't wanna have to ask for permission to save my son," he told her. If Jim wasn't freaking out, she would've laughed. People think her snarky attitude is a Kirk trait but it's purely a Pike thing, her dad is just better at keeping himself in check.

"You think we'll get there and back in time?" Jim asked even if she didn't want the answer. She was terrified. Forgetting what it would be like to lose her husband, what this would do to Bones is driving her insane. He's a good doctor and he's already doubting himself. If this goes on any longer… she can't even think about what will happen to the man she knows better than she knows herself.

"Yes," her dad said. His voice left no room for argument and she was grateful for it. They were gonna find out the truth and clear Bones' name.

* * *

"Ship in pursuit, Captain," Sulu said from his console.

"One-man craft. Dramian," Jim said, "shocker."

"Shall I make contact, sir?" Uhura asked.

"No," her dad said with a mischievous grin.

"Planning something?" the first officer asked.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that it's Demos," her dad told them.

"What if he attacks, sir?" Sulu asked, confused. Jim knew the answer to that.

"Why should he?" she shrugged. "We haven't contacted him, so we must not have detected him. He'd have to explain an attack."

"Besides," her dad said looking at Uhura, "he'll probably prefer to sneak aboard, seeing that we carelessly left the hangar doors open."

"On it, sir," the communications officer said with a smirk.

"Kirk, Spock, go welcome our guest," the captain ordered.

"With pleasure, sir," Jim smiled. The pair made their way to the shuttle bay.

"Are you alright?" Spock asked.

"My husband is being held prisoner on a world that's notorious for swift un-justice and my dad looks like he's ready to break every rule in the book to save him. I'm just peachy," she chuckled just before the door opened. Demos drew his weapon when he saw them. "You're hardly in a position to take on an entire crew."

"And you are not in authority to conduct an investigation in our star system," Demos said.

"I'll remind the captain to put that in his report to the Federation," Jim said. Whether he does it or not is another story.

"I demand that you report to the Federation now!" the Dramian told her.

"I'm not the captain, so it's not my place. Unfortunately, we're out of communications range, so he can't report anything at the moment," she shrugged.

"Then I will proceed to your starbase and report your act," Demos told them.

"Sorry, Commander, but I have orders to impound your vessel," Jim chuckled.

"You are a stowaway, Commander," Spock clarified.

Demos looked at them, "I have been tricked."

"Don't feel bad, it was a nice try."

* * *

Jim, her dad and Demos beamed down to the surface after it was determined that the radiation on Dramia Two, while intense, was non-lethal. She didn't want to take the man who arrested Bones with them but he insisted and her dad approved.

"This place reminds me of Tarsus," Jim muttered as she took in the devastation. Barren ground and ruined buildings. At least there weren't any bodies in the streets.

"What is this place you speak of?" Demos asked.

"Was a colony, now a wasteland," she told him. "The place when my childhood died. Famine went through, killed the food. People went through, killed each other."

"Jim," her dad said. Even twelve years later, Tarsus is still a tough subject for her dad.

"Sorry," Jim said just as she spotted a figure among the ruins. "You see that?"

"They do not like outsiders," Demos told them.

"Surely you're not an outsider, Commander. You're Dramian," her dad pointed out.

"The distinction here is between the world of the living and the world of the walking dead," Demos sighed.

"Inhospitable or not, he can't get away," she said as she jogged after the figure. "Wait!" The Dramian jumped off a cliff and into the still water. Jim skidded to a stop at the edge. "Now what?"

"That's a cave," her dad pointed. "Wanna bet that he went in there?"

"You okay to get over there?" she asked.

"I'm not that old, thank you very much."

Demos looked at them, "I would advise against that, Captain."

"Of course you would," her dad said. "I'm sure you won't mind if I ignore your advice. My officer's life is on the line."

* * *

"Cave dwellers?" Jim asked.

"A result of your Doctor McCoy and his inhumane methods," Demos said.

"You say it, Demos, but that doesn't..." her dad started but he was cut off by the Dramian they were chasing jumping on his back. Jim and, surprisingly, Demos pulled him off.

"He attacked you because you are an Earthling, Captain, even as was McCoy," Demos told her dad.

"But how did he survive the plague?" Jim asked. Curiosity getting the better of her.

"He, like the others who remain here, was away at the time. They returned to their planet to find that their families had succumbed to the plague. He and a few others, senseless in their grief, chose to live here in desolation. You see, Commander, there were no actual survivors," Demos said.

"You are wrong. There was a survivor. I, Kol-Tai, survived. By what miracle, I do not know," the Dramian that jumped on her dad said.

"Then you can tell us. Do you remember?" the captain asked.

"I remember people all about me, becoming blue in color, then green, yellow and finally red," Kol-Tai told them

"That's what Spock pulled from the records," she muttered. "Kol-Tai, do you remember Doctor McCoy?"

"The Earth doctor. He saved my life. He treated me for Saurian virus. A man who saves does not also kill," Kol-Tai said.

"He's been arrested. They're saying he caused all this," Jim said. "Will you help us?"

"You care for the Earth doctor," Kol-Tai said to her.

"With everything I am."

* * *

They got the damn plague. Everyone but Spock and the handful of Vulcans on the ship, that is. Her dad put the ship in general quarantine, gave her friend command and ordered him to break Bones out of jail if he had to, otherwise, they were all gonna die.

Jim knew she should've gone to medical, but she couldn't bring herself to. That was Bones' domain, it always has been. Their quarters were shared space but sickbay was all him and she couldn't be in there if he wasn't there, her heart wouldn't let her. Instead, she laid down on the couch in their quarters, accepted that this may be the end and fell asleep wishing like hell that Bones was with her.

"Darlin', wake up," her husband said as he hypo'd her in the neck.

"Bones?" Jim blinked her eyes open. "You're here."

"Spock broke me out, apparently, it was your dad's idea," he chuckled. "We figured out the antidote. Everyone's being treated."

"You did it," she smiled.

"Yea, well, green's not really your color," Bones smiled.

"Liar, I look great in green," Jim chuckled.

"I almost lost you," he whispered, his forehead pressed against hers.

"I wish I could said I knew it would work out but... I was beginning to lose faith," she whispered back before pressing a soft kiss against his lips. Jim was scared like she's never been scared before. "I don't… I can't…" It felt like a shuttle was sitting on her chest. "I was so scared that we couldn't save you, Len."

"Hey, darlin', we're all okay. You guys did good."

"We almost got ourselves killed."

"That's nothing new."

* * *

Saurian virus antibodies turned out to be the key to the cure. Jim doesn't really know any details beyond that, when Bones and Spock get going, it's best to let them 'do science' in peace. Now, instead of trying to keep her husband in prison, the Dramians want to honor him for his 'significant achievements in the field of interstellar medicine.' Assholes.

"We of Dramia wish to thank you, Doctor, for your discovery of the antidote which frees us from future attacks of this plague," one of the Dramians said.

"You should probably thank Mister Spock, Captain Pike and Commander Kirk as well," Bones said.

"We will even forget about the unorthodox manner of your release, Doctor," the Dramian told him.

"And we'll forget about a certain stowaway," her dad said.

"We must apologize," Demos said. And he did, he apologized to the four of them individually, ignoring the looks that the others gave him.

"I think it's time we got aboard ship, isn't it, sir?" Bones asked.

"Yep," her dad said before opening his comm and requesting a beam out from Scotty. As soon as they were on the ship, her dad smiled. "I think we all need some shore leave."

"Not gonna hear me complain," Jim chuckled.

"Somewhere warm… with a beach," Bones added. Spock gave him a nod of agreement.

Her dad hit the comm, "Mister Sulu, lay in a course for Casperia Prime. Warp six and punch it."


	50. Gasoline

_Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me?_   
_Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?_   
_Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?_   
_Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?_

_And all the people say,_

_"You can't wake up, this is not a dream,_   
_You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,_   
_With your face all made up, living on a screen,_   
_Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline."_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh,_   
_I think there's a flaw in my code,_   
_Oh, oh, oh, oh,_   
_These voices won't leave me alone,_

_Well my heart is golden, my hands are cold._

Gasoline - Halsey

* * *

"So, what's the plan?" her dad asked.

"You're the captain, I just work here," Jim chuckled as she sat the PADD on the desk. "Seriously, I don't know what you want me to say."

"You've seen Spock's report on Nibiru. What do you wanna do?"

"What I want and what I'm allowed to do are very different things, sir."

"And I'm asking, what do you want to do?" her dad repeated.

"If it were up to me, we'd stop the volcano from obliterating an intelligent species," she told him. "To do that would be a violation of the Prime Directive." Jim hates that dumb ass rule. She understands what the Federation was trying to accomplish with it but it was still wrong on so many levels.

"How?"

"Some kind of thermonuclear energy if I had to guess. I'm an engineer, not an astrophysicist. Spock and Sulu could probably give you a better idea. What is all this about?" Jim asked.

She was confused, he asks her opinion all the time but to hand a mission over to her for no apparent reason was not in his playbook. Maybe he got too much rest on Casperia Prime with Pippa and Genie, who were there when the Enterprise showed up.

"Come up with a plan and execute it, Commander," he ordered.

"Yes, sir," she said.

"That'll be all."

* * *

Jim ran as fast as her feet would take her through the red forest on Nibiru. The first part of their plan didn't go quite as smooth as it should've but that's what Plan B was for. She jumped over a tree root and a giant creature roared at her. On instinct, she stunned it with her phaser.

"That was our ride, darlin'," Bones said as he pulled his hood off.

"Oh, great," she muttered. Behind her, the Nibirans were closing in. "Bones. Run!" Both officers took off as the natives chased them.

"What the hell did you take?" her husband asked as he dodged a spear.

"I have no idea, but they were bowing to it!" It was a scroll of some kind and it was pretty old. She wasn't gonna hurt it, she just needed to get their attention. "Kirk to Shuttle Ares, the locals are out of the kill zone! You're clear, I repeat, get in there and neutralize the volcano!"

"Kirk, did the indigenous life forms see you?" Spock asked.

"No, they did not!" she told him as she kept running. Bones gave her a smirk but he didn't say anything.

"The Prime Directive clearly states there can be no interference with the internal development of alien civilization," her half Vulcan friend said.

"I know what it says, which is why I'm running through the jungle wearing a disguise! Now, drop out that super ice cube and let's go! Kirk out!"

"Jim," Bones said as he grabbed her arm and gave a good pull. The spear flew past her head.

"Thanks for the save."

"Anytime."

"Kirk, we're ditching the shuttle," Sulu said over comms. "You gotta make it to the Enterprise on your own."

"Copy that," she said. Her eyes looked around and when she saw what she was looking for, Jim changed the course that she and Bones were on."

"Jim, the beach is that way!" her husband said.

"We're not going to the beach!"

"Oh, no, no, no!" he said. Jim hung the scroll on a tree and the locals stopped chasing them but they kept running. "I hate this!"

"I know you do!" she called back just as the pair got to a cliff and jumped off, splashing down in the cool ocean.

* * *

"Where's Spock?" Jim asked as she and Bones ran onto the bridge, water still dripping off their wetsuits. At least they weren't alone, Uhura and Sulu were still in their suits too.

"He's still in the volcano," her dad said.

"Do we still have an open channel?" she asked.

"The heat's frying his comms but we still have contact," Uhura told them.

"Spock?" her dad called.

"I have activated the device, Captain. When the countdown is complete the reaction should render the volcano inert," Spock told them.

"Yeah and that's gonna render him inert," Bones grumbled.

"Transporters?" Jim asked.

"Negative, sir," Sulu said.

"Not with these magnetic fields," Chekov added.

"We need to get him back, there has to be something we can do," she said.

"Uh…maybe if we had a direct line of sight, if we…" Chekov said.

"No way, man! You're talking about an active volcano. Sir, if that thing erupts I cannae guarantee we can withstand the heat," Scotty told them.

"I don't know that we could maintain that kind of altitude," Sulu said. Jim looked at her dad, he was oddly quiet.

"Our shuttle was concealed by the ash cloud but the Enterprise is too large. If you utilize a rescue effort, it will be revealed to the indigenous species," Spock added to the conversation.

"Captain?" Jim looked at her dad.

"Your mission, Commander," he said. Okay, that was even weirder than the fact that he gave her this mission in the first place.

"Ninety seconds to detonation," Chekov alerted them.

"If Spock were here and I were there, what would he do?" Jim asked her husband.

"You're his best friend, Jim, he wouldn't just let you die. He'd find something, anything, to save your life," Bones said.

"Yea, hearing the words doesn't actually help," she chuckled. Jim shared a look with her dad. "Let's go get our officer."

"You heard the commander. Get the transporter room a line of sight and beam him up," her dad ordered. "Kirk, go."

Jim and Bones ran to the transporter room just as Spock was beamed back. "Are you alright?"

"You let them see our ship," Spock said.

"He's fine," Bones chuckled.

"Bridge to Commander Kirk," Uhura called over comms.

"Yes, Lieutenant?" Jim said.

"Is Commander Spock on board, sir?" the communications officer asked.

"Safe and sound," Jim chuckled. They could all hear Spock's wife breathe a sigh of relief.

"Please notify him that his device has successfully detonated," Uhura told them.

"Did you hear that?" Jim asked her friend. "Congratulations, Spock. You just saved the world."

"You violated the Prime Directive," he said.

She smiled, "Hey, don't look at me, I'm not the captain."

* * *

"Is the brass mad?" she asked her dad.

"They aren't sure," he chuckled. "Technically, we broke the Prime Directive. However, we saved a planet from utter destruction. And Spock's family is not one the Federation wants to mess with. If we hadn't done our best to save him, who knows what T'Pau might do."

"So, this won't mess with your star?" Jim asked as she sat on the floor in his quarters like she used to.

"You know about that, huh?"

"My husband's the chief medical officer, all the gossip goes through sickbay like wildfire. When were you gonna tell me?"

"When I knew for sure," her dad smiled. "That's why we're heading back to Earth."

"So, this is real? You're getting promoted?"

" _We're_ getting promoted. About damn time too. I figured you for captain years ago," he gave her a nudge with his foot.

"I'm… I'm being promoted to captain?"

"Yes. They can't give the flagship to a commander, now can they?"

"They're giving me the Enterprise?" Jim asked. Her dad gave her a nod and a big smile. "Oh, my God."

* * *

"What's in the bag?" Jim whispered.

"Jamison, not now," her dad whispered back.

"It doesn't seem odd to you that he targeted an archive? It's like bombing a public library," she told him.

"Chris, everything okay there?" Admiral Alexander Marcus asked from the other end of the table.

Four hours after the Enterprise got to Earth, it's captain and first officer –along with every other ship CO and XO pair in the area, including Genie, Gaynor, Chenowyth and Jankowski- were called into an Emergency Session at HQ. There was a bombing at a fleet data archive in London. The Kelvin Memorial Archive, to be exact.

Apparently, it was carried out by an officer, Lieutenant Thomas Harewood, who claimed that another officer forced him to do it. Commander John Harrison was, according to Marcus, one of their top people, though Jim's never heard of him and she'd bet just about anything that her contacts at TacComm haven't either. What got her attention, was the footage from the bombed out building. Harrison was there, so why did he need Harewood. And what was in the bag he took.

"Yes, sir. My first officer was just wondering if I saw something," her dad said.

"You got something to say, Kirk, say it. Tomorrow is too late," Admiral Marcus told her.

"I'm fine, sir, my apologies," she said. This isn't the first time she's been in the room with the head of Starfleet, she just avoided it as much as possible. The way he looks at her creeps her out.

"Don't be shy, Commander," Marcus said.

"I ju… Why the archive? All that information is public record. If he really wanted to damage Starfleet, this could just be the beginning," Jim told the commanding officer of the fleet.

"The beginning of what, Miss Kirk?" the Admiral asked.

"Sir, in event of an attack, protocol mandates that senior commands gather, captains and first officers, at Starfleet HQ, right here… in this room," she said.

"It's odd that Harrison would take a jump ship without warp capability," Gaynor added from across the table. At that moment a red light flashed behind Jim, she turned to look and saw the ship from the footage.

"Clear the room."

* * *

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Gramps asked her.

"Jack's dead. Admiral Kane too. Captain Abbott from the Bradbury, dad served with him. Chenowyth… God, all the shit Art lived through…" Jim muttered. There were a dozen others, people she didn't know by name. She wanted to hit something. Harrison. She wanted to hit Harrison until her knuckles were a bloody mess, then she was gonna hit him some more. Her dad was in the hospital, Genie too. If they're lucky, Pippa will kill Harrison before Jim gets to him.

After Harrison opened fire on the officers, it was pure chaos. How Jim managed to walk away with nothing more than a bruise around her eye and some cuts was a mystery to her. After taking cover with her dad, they both tried to get as many people out of the room as they could. She didn't see what hit her dad, Genie and Gaynor, just the aftermath. Jack shielded the two captains and took the brunt of the blast. He was dead before they hit the ground. Jim took down Harrison's jump ship but he beamed out at the last second.

"It's not your fault," her granddad told her.

"I know it's not," she replied just as her communicator beeped. "Kirk."

"Commander, Mister Scott has found something in the wreckage of Harrison's ship. He has asked to see us right away," Spock said.

"On my way," Jim said and closed the device. "Keep me posted on them."

"You got it." Gramps kissed the top of her head and let her go.

Jim sprinted to the courtyard to meet up with Spock and Scotty. "Whatcha got?"

"I found this in the crashed jump ship, sir. This is how the bastard got away," the engineer told her.

"What do you mean?" Spock asked.

"It's a portable transwarp beaming device," Scotty said.

"How the hell did someone get that equation?" she asked.

"That's what I wanna know," the Scot huffed.

"Do you know where he went?" Jim asked.

"Yea, you're not gonna like it," Scotty said, turning the device towards her. "He gone to the one place we… we just cannae go."

"Qo'noS."


	51. Battle Scars

_I wish I couldn't feel, I wish I couldn't love_  
_I wish that I could stop cause it hurts so much_  
_And I'm the only one that's trying to keep us together_  
_When all of the signs say that I should forget her_  
_I wish you weren't the best, the best I ever had_  
_I wish that the good outweighed the bad_  
_Cause it'll never be over, until you tell me it's over_

_These battle scars don't look like they're fading_  
_Don't look like they're ever going away_  
_They ain't never gonna change_  
_These battle scars don't look like they're fading_  
_Don't look like they're ever going away_  
_They ain't never gonna change_  
_These battle..._

Battle Scars Featuring Lupe Fiasco – Guy Sebastian

* * *

"So, Harrison has gone to the Klingon homeworld? Is he defecting?" Marcus asked her.

"Uh… we're not sure, sir," she answered honestly.

"He has taking refuge in the Ketha Province, a region uninhabited for decades," Spock said.

"He's gotta be hiding there, sir. He knows if we even go near Klingon space, it'll be all-out war. Starfleet can't go after him, but I can," Jim said.

"All-out war with the Klingons is inevitable, Miss Kirk. If you ask me, it's already begun. Since we first learned of their existence, the Klingon Empire has conquered and occupied two planets that we know of, fired on our ships more times than I can count. You've had your dust ups with them. Your work on Ajilon Prime and Capella Four was impressive," the admiral paused. "London was not an archive, it was a top secret branch of Starfleet designated to Section Thirty-One. They were developing defense technologies and training our officers to gather intelligence on the Klingons, and any other potential enemy that means to do us harm. Harrison was one of our top agents."

That was an interesting bit of information. If Section 31 was in play, that meant all bets were off. Harrison could very well be acting on orders, which actually pissed Jim off. She wasn't gonna voice that to Marcus though.

"He's a fugitive and I wanna catch him," she told the admiral.

"Mister Spock, you said that the Province where Harrison is hiding uninhabited?" Marcus asked.

"Affirmative, sir."

"As part of our defensive strategy, Thirty-One developed a new photon torpedo," he told them before activating a holo of the torpedoes. "Long range and untraceable, it would be invisible to Klingon sensors. I don't want you hurt but I want to take him out. You park on the edge of the Neutral Zone, your lock on to Harrison's position, you fire, you kill him and hail ass."

"Permission to assign Mister Spock as my first officer," Jim said.

"Granted, Captain Kirk."

* * *

"Jim, where were you?" Bones asked as he caught up with her in the shuttle bay.

"For what?" she asked.

"Your medical exam. Ten hours ago, you were in a damn fire-fight. Now, it's my duty to exa…"

"I'm fine, Bones."

"The hell you are."

"I'm fine."

"You could say that until you're blue in the face but it wouldn't matter. I'm your husband and I've known you for fifteen years. You are not fine. Your dad's in the hospital. One of your step-moms is in the hospital. Chenowyth and Gaynor were killed…"

"Bones, I'm fine," she cut him off. He was right, she wasn't fine but she wasn't saying it out loud. Jim gave him a look and boarded the shuttle. "A status report, Mister Spock."

"The Enterprise should be ready for launch by the time we arrive," her first officer told her. That was weird, ten hours ago she was the first officer.

"Good."

"Captain, as your first officer, it is my duty to strongly object to our mission perimeters. There is no Starfleet regulation that condemns a man to die without a trial, something you and Admiral Marcus are forgetting. Also, preemptively firing torpedoes at the Klingon homeworld goes against…"

"Your advice is noted, Mister Spock," Jim sighed.

"Wait a minute, we're firing torpedoes at the Klingons?" her husband asked from the seat behind her.

"Regulations aside, this action is morally wrong," Spock pointed out.

"I wasn't asking for your opinion. Bones, stop scanning me," she glanced back at her husband and, sure enough, he had his tricorder pointed at her. "Pippa already checked me over. She needed something to do while Genie was in surgery so I let her torture me."

"Oh. Good," Bones closed the device.

"Captain, our mission could start a war with the Klingons," the half-Vulcan next to her said. "And it is, by its very definition, immoral. Perhaps, you should take a requisite time to arrive at this conclusion for yourself."

"Captain Kirk," a crisp British accent interrupted them. "Science Officer Wallace. I've been assigned to Enterprise by Admiral Marcus. These are my transfer orders." The woman handed Jim a PADD.

"You requested an additional science officer, Captain?" Spock asked, she could almost hear the hurt in his voice.

"I did not," Jim sighed. "Lieutenant Carol Wallace. Doctorate in Applied Physics, specializing in advanced weaponry."

"Impressive credentials," Spock said.

"Thank you," Wallace said.

"Redundant as I am aboard the Enterprise," her first officer said.

"Yes, and yet, the more the merrier," Jim said. She wasn't dumb and Admiral Marcus had plenty of holos of this woman on his desk. The fact that she faked her name meant that Marcus didn't really send her and he probably had no idea that his daughter was trying to get on the Enterprise. "Have a seat, doctor."

* * *

"Jim, I'm so sorry about Captain Chenowyth and Commander Gaynor," Uhura said as they walked to the turbolift.

"We all are," Jim sighed. She did get to talk to Jankowski for a few minutes but she didn't want to keep the other new captain away from her crew. She also had a short talk with Genie's second officer, Lieutenant Commander Tyler. Right now, he's the acting CO of the Yorktown.

"Are you okay?"

"You mean, aside from the fact that one of my friends and one of my mentors were killed and I almost lost two more parents? I'm fine. Thanks." They stepped into the lift. "Actually, I just had to talk Scotty outta quitting. Oh, your husband and mine have decided to join forces and second guess everything I say." Jim took a deep breath. "Sorry, that was inappropriate. It's just sometimes I wanna... Hell, maybe it's me."

"It's not you," Uhura chuckled.

"It's not? Wait, are you guys… are you guys, fighting?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"I've known Spock for like a decade and I've never… Oh, my God. What is that even like?" Jim asked. Uhura didn't get a chance to answer as the doors to the lift opened and Spock was waiting on the other side. Uhura gave him a look that could cut glass and walked past him. "Ears burning?"

"Captain, I must…" Spock started.

"Retract all moorings, Mister Sulu," she ordered, ignoring her first officer.

"Yes, sir," Sulu said as Jim sat in the command chair.

"Lieutenant Uhura, open a ship wide channel," Jim said.

"Yes, sir," the communications officer nodded.

Scotty alerted her that they were ready for warp. The captain looked at her helmsman, "Sulu, let's ride."

"Channel open, sir," Uhura told her after the warp core engaged.

"Attention, crew of the Enterprise. As most of you know, there have been multiple attacks on Starfleet facilities and personnel in the last few days. The man responsible has fled our system and is hiding on the Klingon homeworld, somewhere he believes we are unwilling to go. We are on our way there now. Per Admiral Marcus, it is essential that our presence go undetected. Tensions between the Federation and the Klingon Empire have been high, any provocation could lead to an all-out war. I will personally lead a landing party to an abandoned city on the surface of Qo'noS, where we will capture the fugitive John Harrison, and return him to Earth so he can face judgment for his actions. Alright, let's go get this son of a bitch. Kirk out."

* * *

"This isn't gonna work," Jim muttered.

"It is our only logical option. And if you interrupt her now you, will not only incur the wrath of the Klingons, but that of Lieutenant Uhura as well," Spock told her.

Jim, Spock, Uhura and Security officers Hendorff and Jacobs went down to the Qo'noS. She left Sulu in command of the Enterprise, gave him orders to threaten Harrison and left Bones with him on the bridge. She would've left Scotty in charge but there was something wrong with the warp core that he and Chekov were trying to figure out. Jim knew it was sabotage. Section 31 is messed up like that. The question is; who gave the order? Marcus is the only one who knows that the ship was out here. She really hoped it wasn't him.

Uhura talked with the Klingons, then one reached out and grabbed her. At that moment, someone started firing on the Klingons. Jim, Spock and the security officers spilled out of the small trading ship they were in and joined the firefight. That's when she spotted the hooded figure as he killed the Klingon patrol. He pulled his hood off and pointed a rifle at the small team of Starfleet officers. Harrison.

"Stand down!" Spock yelled.

"How many torpedoes?" Harrison asked.

"Stand down!" Spock repeated, his weapon aimed at the man they came to arrest. Harrison shot it out of Spock's hands.

"Your torpedoes! The weapons you threaten me within your message. How many are there?" Harrison asked again. Jim just glared at him.

"Seventy-two," Spock said.

Harrison looked at them for a moment before he dropped his weapon, "I surrender."

"On the behalf of Art Chenowyth and Jack Gaynor, my friends, I accept your surrender," Jim said. Before she could think better of it, she pulled back and punched him in that perfect face. He didn't react or fight back and it pissed her off even more. Jim kept punching him. At one point, she grabbed his hair with one hand and kept hitting him.

"Captain!" Uhura yelled. Jim let Harrison go.

"Captain?" he asked.

She glared at the terrorist before addressing her officers, "Cuff him."

* * *

"Ignore me, and you will get everyone on this ship killed," Harrison said as Jim, Bones and Spock walked away from his cell. She stopped dead in her tracks.

"Captain, I believe he will only attempt to manipulate you. I would not recommend engaging the prisoner further," Spock told her.

"Give me a minute," she said to her friend and her husband before walking back over to Harrison's cell. Both men knew better than to try and stop her. "Let me explain what's happening here, Harrison. You are a criminal. I watched you murder a bunch of innocent Starfleet officers. I was authorized to end you. Not that I needed permission, you hurt my dad and I've killed people for a lot less. The only reason you're breathing, is because I am allowing it. So shut. Your. Mouth!"

"Oh, Captain, are you going to punch me again, over and over, until your arm weakens? Clearly you want to. So, tell me, why did you allow me to live?" Harrison asked.

"You're a murderer, I'm not," Jim said.

"Of course, it's why I surrendered to you. You have a conscience, Miss Kirk. If you did not, then it would be impossible for me to convince you of the truth. Two-three-one-seven-four-six-one-one. Coordinates not far from Earth. If you want to know why I did what I did, go and take a look."

"Give me one reason why I should listen you," she told him.

"I can give you seventy-two. And they're on board your ship, Captain. They have been, all along. I suggest you open one up," the terrorist told her.

* * *

"Have you lost your damn mind? You're not gonna actually listen to this guy. He killed Jack, he almost kill you, and now you think it's a good idea to pop open a torpedo because he dared you to?" her husband said.

"The doctor does have a point, Captain," Spock added his two credits.

"Don't agree with me, Spock. It makes me uneasy," Bones said.

"Perhaps you too should learn to govern your emotions," Her first officer told her husband. "In this situation, logic dictates that we have…"

"Logic! My God!" Bones said. "There's a maniac trying to make us blow up our own damn ship, and you're talking about…"

"Hey, fellas, I do know what I'm doing. I think. The Admiral said that the torpedoes were special. I don't think it's a coincidence that Marcus' daughter, who's a weapons specialist, faked her transfer onto the ship and then Harrison mentioned the torpedoes," Jim said.

"Wait," Bones looked at her, "Marcus' daughter?"

"Doctor Wallace," she told him. "She's Carol Marcus. If the admiral had assigned her to the ship, she wouldn't have faked her name. I'm guessing that he doesn't know she's here."

"Why?" her husband asked.

"I know this is gonna sound crazy," Jim sighed, "but I think Admiral Marcus is trying to kill us."


	52. Elastic Heart

_You did not break me_  
_I'm still fighting for peace_

_Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,_  
_But your blade - it might be too sharp_  
_I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard,_  
_Yeah, I may snap and I move fast_  
_But you won't see me fall apart_  
_'Cause I've got an elastic heart_

_I've got an elastic heart_  
_Yeah, I've got an elastic heart_

Elastic Heart – Sia

* * *

"I married a crazy person," Bones said from his spot next to her at the conference table. She called a senior staff meeting and left Gaila with the con.

"Am I crazy? Think about it, Bones. My dad is in the hospital. One of my moms is in the hospital. Jack is dead. Chenowyth is dead. Kane is dead. I'm so far beyond emotionally compromised it's not even funny. Yet, I was promoted a week early, given the flagship and sent on mission to shoot torpedoes, which Scotty can't scan, at the Klingon homeworld to kill one man," she said. "Marcus' own daughter is hiding her presence on this ship from him. He said it himself, this about Section Thirty-One. The torpedoes, Harrison, the KMA, all Section Thirty-One. They don't care if we die as long as they get whatever they're after."

"War with the Klingons," Uhura said. "I bet someone sabotaged the warp core. We're on the edge of the Neutral Zone. If we had shot at the Klingons, we'd be dead already."

"Marcus set us up to be martyrs," Jim said. "I wanna know why. I wanna know what he's hiding."

"So, what do we do?" Sulu asked.

"First, we're gonna open up a torpedo. Not because Harrison wants us to, but because they make Scotty uncomfortable. I need to know what the hell Marcus gave us," the captain told her officers. "Carol, can you do it?"

"Yes, captain," the woman in question said.

"I got a question," Bones sighed before looking at Carol. "Where do you fall in all this? You're here for something."

"I was assigned to the Advanced Weapons Development Group at FleetComm. My father gave me access to every program he oversaw, then I heard he was developing these prototype torpedoes. When I went to confront him about it, he wouldn't even to see me. That's when I discovered that torpedoes had disappeared from all official records," Carol told them.

"And then he gave them to me," Jim sighed.

"Yes. The little information I do have on them… they're in violation of half a dozen weapons treaties, at least," the weapons expert said. "We need to see what's inside them but that'll require us to take one apart. It's too dangerous to try and open one on the Enterprise, but there is a nearby planetoid, I can open up one there. I will need some help. The steadiest hands on the ship."

"Bones, you're up," Jim smiled.

"Oh joy."

* * *

"What are you reading?" Bones asked.

"Harrison's record. I think I know why he agreed to this mission," she told her husband as she rose from her seat. "How's your arm?"

"It's fine. I just can't believe that there was a person in the damn torpedo. I wonder who it is," he chuckled.

"I'm about to find out, wanna watch?"

"Sure."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they stepped into the turbolift. Jim ran her fingers along the bandage on Bones' arm but didn't say anything, there was no need. She was sure that they were gonna have some time to decompress after all of this was over. For now, being in the same space was enough. They walked to the brig together. Before they stepped inside, Jim took a deep breath. Dealing with Harrison was the biggest test of her self-control that she's ever had to take. Jim has multiple reasons to kill him but her moral code wouldn't let her. It's exhausting.

"Tell me about Donatu Five," Jim said to Harrison without preamble. She could tell by the look on Harrison's face that she just threw off whatever he planned to say.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he told her.

"On 2244.82, your mother, Lieutenant Commander Sara Harrison was killed in an explosion on the USS Miranda. It was a battle with the Klingons that we neither won nor lost. They withdrew and our ships limped home," she said. "You want a fight with the Klingons."

"No, they want to fight with us. It's not just Donatu. It's Temazi. It's the Marrat Nebula. Ajilon Prime…"

"Don't pull me and my dad into this more than you already have. You want a war, Marcus sent my crew out here to start it. What I don't get is why he's trying to kill you for following his orders," Jim said.

"You are much smarter than he gives you credit for," Harrison chuckled.

"I'm a tactician. It's my job to see connections that most people miss. Why are there three hundred year old frozen people in those torpedoes?" she asked.

"Their captain put them there," he told her. "Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time but for that he needed a warriors mind, their minds. The men and women are a group of augments that Section Thirty-One found adrift in an unexplored region of space. My assignment was to wake them up and use their intellect and savagery to help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet," Harrison told her.

"Because of your background in anthropology," she said. "I assume that the Eugenics War and the origins of the augments is your specialty."

The Eugenics Wars were a series of conflicts were fought on Earth between 1992 and 1996. Scientists attempted to _improve_ Humanity through selective breeding and genetic engineering that caused millions of deaths and nearly plunged the planet into a new Dark Age. Augments are a hold over from that time. Designed to be faster, stronger, longer-lived and smarter than a normal human, Augments were also aggressive, arrogant and ambitious, with a diminished sense of morality.

"They are," he nodded.

"So, what happened?"

"He woke one up," Harrison told her. "Khan Noonien Singh."

"You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me," she blurted out.

"Who is that, Jim?" Bones asked her.

"Just the best of the tyrants. Khan considered himself a prince with power over millions. He conquered and killed anyone he considered unworthy," Jim told her husband. "He and his people were considered war criminals and exiled from Earth." She took a deep breath. "This just got exponentially worse."

* * *

"Spock, our ship?" she asked her first officer.

"Our options are limited. We cannot fire and we cannot flee," he told her.

So, Marcus got his pet augment to build him a starship. It was impressive, massive and terrifying, but still impressive. Apparently, he didn't take too kindly to Jim capturing Harrison instead of shooting torpedoes at the Klingons. The admiral gave her some BS about making a mistake and trying to fix it but she didn't believe him and he knew it.

They got within a few hundred thousand kilometers of Earth before Marcus knocked them out of warp. Carol tried to talk her father down. In the end, he just ignored her plea –and declaration of loyalty to the Enterprise crew- and beamed her over through their shields. If it wasn't for Gramps sneaking onto Marcus' ship, they'd all be dead.

"I might have an idea," Jim sighed. "Uhura, when you get Chief Pike back, patch him though to me."

"Yes, sir," the communications officer said, returning to her seat.

"Spock, you have the con," Jim said before stepping into the turbolift.

"Captain, I strongly object," Spock said from behind her. Stubborn Vulcan.

"To what? I haven't said anything yet."

"Since we cannot take the ship from the outside, the only way we can take it is from within, and as a large boarding party would be detected, it is optimum for you take as fewer members of the crew as possible. You will meet resistance requiring personnel with advanced combat abilities and innate knowledge of that ship. This indicates that you plan to align with Harrison, the very man we were sent here to destroy."

"I'm not aligning with him, Spock, I'm using him. The enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"An Arabic proverb attributed to a prince who was betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects," he said.

"Are we really gonna do this, Spock? You always tell me not to do the thing. I do the thing anyway. We win."

"We win after someone, usually you, gets hurt," Spock pointed out. "I will go with you, Jim."

"No, I need you on the bridge."

"I cannot allow you to do this," he said, grabbing her arm. If it were anyone else, she would've dropped him. "It is my function aboard this ship to advise you on making the wisest decisions possible, something I firmly believe you are incapable of doing in this moment."

"You're right! What I'm about to do, it doesn't make any sense, it's not logical, it is a gut feeling!" Jim took a breath. "I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, Spock. I only know what I can do."

* * *

"Tell me everything you know about that ship," she said to Harrison as soon as she stepped into medical, where she had security hide him from Marcus.

"Dreadnought Class, two times the size, three times the speed. Advanced weaponry, modified for minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, it's built solely for combat," he told her.

"I will do everything I can to make you answer for what you did. But right now I need your help."

"In exchange for what?"

"Nothing. You killed a bunch of Starfleet officers, you're lucky I haven't stabbed you in the throat," Jim told him honestly. The man really has no idea how much she wants to kill him. "Look, you'll die when Marcus shoots us out of the sky. You might walk away if you help me stop him."

"You wouldn't really kill me," Harrison told her.

"She would," Bones said from one of the desks.

"Why do you have a dead tribble?" she asked, too confused to stop herself.

"I'm injecting platelets from the guy in the torpedo. His blood regenerates like nothing I've ever seen before and I wanna know why," her husband answered.

"Sounds fun," Jim sighed before she looked at Harrison. "You coming with me or not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harrison and Khan will be in the same room in the next chapter. I've never actually had them together in a story. Jim, Gramps and Carol might be in some trouble, or not. Who knows? I'm evil.
> 
> Since Benicio del Toro was the first pick for STID's Khan, he's who I envision.


	53. This is War

_A warning to the people,_   
_The good and the evil,_   
_This is war._

_To the soldier, the civilian,_   
_The martyr, the victim,_   
_This is war._

_It's the moment of truth, and the moment to lie,_   
_The moment to live and the moment to die,_   
_The moment to fight, the moment to fight_   
_To fight, to fight, to fight!_

_To the right, to the left_   
_We will fight to the death!_   
_To the edge of the earth_   
_It's a brave new world_   
_From the last to the first_

_To the right, To the left_   
_We will fight to the death!_   
_To the edge of the earth_   
_It's a brave new world_   
_It's a brave new world!_

This is War – 30 Seconds to Mars

* * *

"DAD!"

"That's Carol," Jim said as she, Gramps and Harrison ran to the bridge on Marcus' ship. The three officers opened fire on anyone who wasn't the blonde weapons officer.

"Was that necessary, Captain?" an accented voice asked, shaking off her attempt to stun him. The man dropped Marcus' lifeless body and turned to look at her.

"Khan Noonien Singh," she whispered in fear and reverence.

"It seems my reputation proceeds me. As does yours Jamison T. Kirk," Khan said. "Since I was awoken, I've read much about your Starfleet. Although your abilities intrigue me, humanity as a whole is quite honestly inferior. Mentally, physically. In fact, I am surprised how little improvement there has been in human evolution. You are, however, an anomaly in a sea of mediocrity, Captain. I am rarely impressed."

"Does that mean you're gonna surrender quietly? Or is this the calm before the storm?" Jim asked.

"I surrender to no man… or woman," he told her as he stepped closer, the threat was as clear as day. On instinct, Gramps put himself between Khan and Jim. Unfortunately, that left the young captain's right side open to Harrison and the Section 31 operative took his opportunity to take her down.

The first hit didn't shock her as much as it should've and she blocked the second one before he could hit her in the head. Jim knew how Harrison fought, so she also knew that she was in a shit-ton of trouble. She dodged as many hits as she could and only swung on him when she knew it would connect. The man took down a bunch of Klingons without much difficulty, she was outmatched. Harrison flipped her over one of the consoles and charged towards her, that's when Gramps tackled him.

This was bad, this was very, very bad.

Carol rushed over and pulled Jim to her feet while Khan watched. He pulled a knife from somewhere and threw it, hitting Harrison right in the neck. The agent dropped to his knees, staring at Khan with wide eyes.

"I pledged myself to you. I did everything you asked," Harrison gurgled. Khan rose from his seat and closed on them, stunning Gramps and Carol in quick succession. He grabbed Jim by the neck and she couldn't get him off.

"You failed in your task, John," Khan said. "Rest now and allow me to finish what was as started centuries ago." He hit a command on the chair and viewscreen popped up. "I'm going to make this very simple for you."

"Captain!" Spock said.

"Your crew for my crew," Khan told the Enterprise.

"Spock, don't…" she warned but Khan hit her in the head. Her vision went blurry and she felt like she was underwater but she could still hear them… mostly.

"Commander Spock, give me my crew," Khan growled.

"And what will you do when you get them?" her first officer asked.

"Continue the work we were doing before we were banished," the tyrant was back in action.

"Which as I understand it involves the mass genocide of any being you find to be less than superior," Spock said. If he was stalling for time, it wasn't gonna work.

"Give me what I want?" Khan growled.

"We have no transporter capabilities."

"Fortunately, mine are perfectly functional. Drop your shields."

"If I do so, I have no guarantee that you will not destroy the Enterprise." That's right, protect the ship.

"Well, let's be logical, Mister Spock. First, I will kill your captain to demonstrate my resolve, then if yours holds, I will kill you and your entire crew."

"If you destroy our ship, you will also destroy your own people," Spock countered.

"Your crew requires oxygen to survive, mine does not. I will target your life support systems located behind the aft nacelle. And after every single person aboard your ship suffocates, I will walk over your cold corpses to recover my people. Now, give me my crew?" Khan demanded. Jim didn't hear anything for a moment, then Khan's voice again. "A wise choice. Mister Spock. I see all seventy-two torpedoes are still in engineering. If they're not mine, Commander, I will know it."

"Vulcans do not lie. The torpedoes are yours," her first officer growled. "I have fulfilled your terms. Now fulfill mine." Jim tried to push herself up.

"Well, Kirk, it seems I should return you to your crew. After all, no ship should go down without her captain," Khan told her before the familiar swirl of the transporter wrapped around her.

* * *

"Bones! Bones!" Jim called as she, Gramps and Carol ran into sickbay.

Her husband ignored protocol and pulled her against his chest. "Welcome home."

"You helped Spock detonate those torpedoes?" she asked.

"Damn right, I did," he told her.

"Bones, he killed Khan's crew," Jim said. What the hell happened between these two that they've joined forces to kill people?

"Spock's cold but he's not that cold. I've got Khan's crew." Bones pointed over her shoulder. Jim turned around to find a bunch of cryo-tubes in the –already full- medbay. "Seventy-two human popsicles, safe and sound."

"Son of a bitch," she muttered. "I'm…"

A sound that no person on a starship ever wants to hear rolled through the Enterprise.

"What was that?" Carol asked.

"The warp core," Jim said as she headed for the door. "Hang on to something, it's gonna get bad."

"Where are you going?" Bones called.

"Engineering," she yelled as she ran out of sickbay. Jim sprinted though the ship as they started to lose gravity and stability. "This is not good."

* * *

"Talk to me, Scotty," Jim ordered as she ran into engineering.

"Emergency power is at nine percent and dropping. That's not the major problem," he told her.

"Which is?"

"The housings are misaligned, there's no way we can redirect the power! The ship is dead, sir. She's gone," Scotty said with a look of disbelief.

There has to be a way. There has to be something. "No, she's not."

"Wait, Jim!" he called after her but Jim was already punching in the sequence for the entrance to the warp core. "If we go in there, we'll die. Will you listen to me? What the hell are you doing?!"

"I'm opening the door, I'm going in," Jim told her friend.

"Lass, that door is there to stop us from getting irradiated! We'll be dead before we made the climb."

"You're not making the climb," she said before she punched him and maneuvered him into a chair near one of the consoles. She hit the command for the harness to keep him there and kissed his cheek. "Thanks for everything, Monty."

Jim took a deep breath before she went to make the climb into the warp core. This isn't how she thought she would go. Not that she's thought much about it in the last few years.

Tarsus. She was sure that Tarsus IV was going to be the end of it. No food and a bunch of kids, not to mention Kodos murdering people. Jim thought she was a goner then. But she survived.

Then, there was the hostage situation on Vulcan when Jim was still training. The mission where she met Spock and got the first glimpse of what they would become. A force of logic and sheer determination in the crazy universe around them. She still doesn't know how they pulled that off. But she survived.

The Republic. The Farragut. The Constitution. Ajilon Prime. Nero. She survived.

Marcus. Harrison. Khan. She wasn't going to survive. She knew she wasn't going to survive.

Her crew. Her family. They had to survive.

* * *

"How'd we do?" Jim asked.

"You saved the crew," Spock whispered.

"You used what he wanted against him. That's a nice move," she chuckled weakly.

"It is what you would have done."

"This is more your speed. Logical," she paused. "You gotta do something for me, Spock."

"I will watch over him."

"I'm scared. I didn't think I would be but I'm scared."

"As am I," he told her. Jim could see the tears running down his face. "You are my friend." She put her hand on the glass in the Vulcan salute and Spock does the same.

"Always."

* * *

Silence is deafening.


	54. Comes and Goes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Chapter! This one is Bones' POV and he's in a mood.

_This one's for the faithless, the ones that are surprised_  
_They're only where they are now regardless of their fight_  
_This one's for believing if only for it's sake_  
_Come on friends get up now love is to be made_

_Oh oh oh, oh oh oh_  
_Oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh_

_And this part was for her_  
_And this part was for her_  
_This part was for her_  
_Does she remember?_

_It comes and goes in waves, I_  
_Am only led to wonder why_  
_It comes in goes in waves, I_  
_Am only led to wonder why_  
_Why I, why I try_

_This is for the ones who stand_  
_For the ones who try again_  
_For the ones who need a hand_  
_For the ones who think they can_

_It comes and goes in waves…_

Comes and Goes (In Waves) – Greg Laswell

* * *

"What the hell are you doing? Get off of… Oh, shit. That water's freezing! What's wrong with you?!" Leonard yelled as he was shoved –clothes and all- into the shower and the cold water beat down on him.

"You smell like a distillery. It's making me nauseous," Uhura said from the other side of the shower door.

"Nobody told you to come over here. Go back to your… perfect husband and take your morning sickness with you," he grumbled and turned up the temperature of the water.

"Is this what you're gonna do until she wakes up? Sit around in the dark, drinking? You know better," the linguist told him. He wanted to tell her that she didn't know what she was talking about but Uhura always had an uncanny read on people, it's what made her so good at her job.

"I don't need this," Leonard groaned as he peeled off wet clothes and half-heartedly tossed them in Nyota's direction.

"Actually, you do and since Jim can't kick you in the ass right now, I'll do it," Uhura said. He wanted to be so mad at the woman standing in his bathroom but he just couldn't do it. "I love her too, you know."

"She's my wife."

"She's Pike's daughter. You don't see him moping around and drinking himself stupid. He's working. Same as me, Spock, Scotty and everybody else. You can't fall apart, Leonard."

"I feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest. It hurts. Actual, physical pain. What more do you people want from me?"

"We what you to be Bones," Uhura said.

"Don't call me that. She's the only person who gets to call me that and she died."

"She didn't stay that way. You brought her back. Doctor Boyce says she should wake up any day. Do you want her to see you like this? Do you want her to see your apartment like this?" Uhura asked. "She'd kick your ass and we both know it."

"I doubt she'll care. She doesn't need me," Leonard sighed as the water ran over him. "That's why she called for Spock."

"That's what this is about?" the woman on the other side of the glass laughed. "She didn't call for him. Scotty did. It was probably a good thing too. You would've opened containment and killed everyone on the ship. I almost did. Spock too."

"Shocker."

"It is, actually. Take your shower. I'll make you something to eat and tell you why Jim needed Spock instead of you."

"This outta be good."

* * *

"What do you know about Spock's childhood?" Nyota asked him as she sat a bowl of soup in front of him. Leonard didn't know what it was but it smelled good and he hadn't eaten in days.

"Just that the kids weren't nice."

"Ha. Understatement of the century," she chuckled. "They spent years trying to 'elicit an emotional response' from him. I remember one they told him, and I quote, 'You're neither Human nor Vulcan and therefore have no place in this universe.' That wasn't nearly as bad as calling Sarek a traitor and Amanda a whore but that was the one that stuck with him. It stuck because it's been repeated. Spock has never felt like he belonged anywhere. Then he met Jim. She could care less that he was Vulcan or Human as long as he was a good person."

"What's this gotta do with those few minutes in the warp core?"

"He loves her. Jim's the sister Spock never knew he wanted. He needed to let her know that all those years she spent trying to get him to open up weren't in vain. To show her the humanity that she could always see in him. To tell her that he loved her in his own way. To let her have that peace."

"Now I feel like an asshole."

"Don't. We get it. You wanted to be with her, but that's not what either of you needed," Uhura sighed. "And seeing your wife in a body bag is not even remotely okay."

"No kidding." His chest tightened at the mere mention of Jim, lifeless on that table. "How'd you get stuck dealing with me, anyway?"

"You can't actually fight with me. You wouldn't want to hurt the baby," she smiled. Uhura and Spock found out that they were expecting weeks ago and Leonard was the only one who knew. They were waiting to tell everyone until the end of the first trimester. That was six days ago. He was sure that they were just waiting for Jim now, wanting her to be the first non-doctor they told.

"She wanted to have a baby."

"And she will."

"Not with the damage the radiation did to her body. There's no way now and I don't know how I'm gonna bring myself to tell her if she wakes up."

"When. When she wakes up."

"Stop being optimistic."

"Lay off the angst."

"Bite me."

"That's Jim's job."

"That's a low blow, Ny. I thought you had more class than that."

"I can get my hands dirty if I need to," she chuckled just as her comm beeped. A huge smile broke out on her face. "Well, wonders never cease. Your wife's awake."

* * *

Pippa was trying to update him Jim's status but he wasn't listening. His aunt and Uhura just took it in stride and continued walking with him to the ICU. It was no surprise to find Chris there already. Neither of the room's occupants noticed him yet.

"I swear you're determined to give me a heart attack," the new admiral said.

"It was me or everybody. I couldn't let them die. I couldn't let him die," Leonard heard his wife whisper. Uhura gave him a nudge and a smile. "If it was Genie or Pippa, you would've done the same thing."

"Of all the crazy…" Leonard said as he walked into the room and to her side. Jim looked up at him. "You don't just… Why would you…?"

"Always told you I'd die for you one day," she chuckled. It was weak but it was her. "You look like shit."

"So do you, darlin'," he smiled. Then, he broke and the tears started. "Don't ever do that to me again."

"I can't promise that, Len," Jim said as she tugged on his sleeve and pulled him onto the bed with her. It was awkward and uncomfortable but he didn't care, he could hear her heart beating against his ear and it was the most beautiful sound in the universe.

"You died on me."

"I know. I was there," she chuckled. "I did what I had to do. I won't apologize for it."

"I know. I don't have to like it."

"Are you okay?" Jim asked him. Leonard realized that Chris, Pippa and Uhura left them sometime in the last few minutes.

"You died and you're worried about me?"

"I'm always worried about you. I don't know why you don't get that." He could hear the smile in her voice. "Are you okay? What happened after I… after?"

"I'm alright, considering. I injected you with blood from one of the augments, that's why you're not dead. Spock killed Khan."

"Spock killed… You're shitting me."

"Nope. Beat him to death with his bare hands. Sulu and Hendorff pulled him off but Khan was already dead when they got there. Scotty's pissed at you." That was putting it mildly. "Chekov is actually the most stable member of the senior staff at this point. According to Uhura, he's been keeping everyone going."

"What do you mean 'according to Uhura'? You don't know?"

"I'm on leave. My wife was in a coma." He wasn't telling her that he spent his days in the hospital with her going over everything he could think of waiting for her to wake up and his nights drinking himself stupid, as Uhura called it.

"Right," she yawned.

"You should get some sleep."

"I just woke up," Jim chuckled.

"Your body has been repairing itself for two weeks. It'll take a while before you feel any semblance of normal, darlin'. That's what you get for dying on me."

"Not sorry. Will you stay with me?" she asked quietly.

"I dare someone to tell me I can't."


	55. Life is a Highway

_Life's like a road that you travel on_  
_When there's one day here and the next day gone_  
_Sometimes you bend sometimes you stand_  
_Sometimes you turn your back to the wind_  
_There's a world outside every darkened door_  
_Where blues won't haunt you anymore_  
_Where the brave are free and lovers soar_  
_Come ride with me to the distant shore_  
_We won't hesitate break down the garden gate_  
_There's not much time left today_

_Life is a highway_  
_I want to ride it all night long_  
_If you're going my way_  
_I want to drive it all night long_

_Through all these cities and all these towns_  
_It's in my blood and it's all around_  
_I love you now like I loved you then_  
_This is the road and these are the hands_  
_From Mozambique to those Memphis nights_  
_The Khyber pass to Vancouver's lights_  
_Knock me down get back up again_  
_You're in my blood I'm not a lonely man_

_There's no load I can't hold_  
_Road so rough this I know_  
_I'll be there when the light comes in_  
_Just tell 'em we're survivors_

Life Is A Highway - Tom Cochrane

* * *

"Please tell me that this'll wear off," Jim said to Pippa. She had so much energy that it wasn't even funny.

"We honestly don't know. This has never been done before and I'm gonna have to monitor you for the next few months to see what happens," her step-mom told her.

"You? Not that I don't love you, Pip, but I do have a doctor."

"Who's in a bunch of trouble for what he did."

"He saved my life."

"No, he brought you back from the dead using an untested procedure, there's a difference."

"Not to me there's not," Jim chuckled. "It's not like he doesn't have the right to make a decision like that. According to regs, the treatment of a patient is at the discretion of their attending physician if the next of kin is unavailable or unable to do so. He's both my NOK and my doctor, which, while not recommended, is not expressly against regs."

"That's a loophole."

"How long have you known me? Show me a loophole I wouldn't exploit if it meant doing the right thing," the young captain said. "You know he did the right thing. Tell me that you wouldn't have at least tried if it had been you instead of him."

"I can't. There's not much in this universe I wouldn't do for you two."

"Welcome to motherhood," Jim said quietly. Bones told her that there was a good chance that she'd never have a biological child thanks to the radiation. She wasn't gonna lie, it hurt.

"You know, it's not impossible, right?" Pippa asked. Jim shook her head. "When we're born, woman already carry all the eggs they're ever gonna have for reproduction, you know that. When you went into the warp core, you eggs died from the radiation. Now, the blood fixed your reproductive organs just like it fixed everything else…"

"But I don't have any eggs."

"Technicality. Though, you'll probably have to be put on estrogen so that you don't go through menopause early, that way you can still physically have a baby. It'll just require a little medical intervention and a friend willing to give you some ova."

"Bones knows all of this, doesn't he?" Jim asked.

"The basic stuff, yes. The particulars to you, no. I pulled him off your case as soon as you got here. Now that he's finally getting some sleep, he'll reach the same conclusion. He just needs some time. Lenny's been through it." Pippa sighed. "I don't have to tell you how much that boy loves you. Scotty said he cried in the middle of sickbay when he saw you. Even though he gave you that transfusion, he had no way to know it would work, then you were in a coma. I think the hardest part was that you weren't here to tell him that it would be okay... You both need that from each other, you always have."

"I just needed him to be okay," Jim whispered. "I needed them all to be okay."

"I know, sweetie, and so do they. I do think you downplay your importance when it comes to them. I mean, I've never seen a Vulcan that unhinged. Ever. And the Russian wiz-kid… Chekov. It's like he aged a decade over the course of a day. Leonard… since you met, the only time I've ever seen him break like this is when you were on Tarsus and nobody would listen to him. As much as you need him to be okay, he needs you to be okay too."

"And I wasn't," she took a shaky breath. "I couldn't let him die. I just… The news feeds are calling me a hero and I wasn't. It was selfish. I needed him to live, even if it was without me."

"You two… I swear. He didn't live without you. He stayed in the hospital everyday pouring over medical journals until we kicked him out. Then he drank himself silly. That boy can't live without you any more than you can live without him."

"I know that. I just don't know what you'd all have me do. The ship was falling out of the sky and I made the best choice I could make. I saved the one thing in the universe I know I can't live without. That's him. At the end of the day, as much as love everyone else, it's was always about saving him."

* * *

"Khan messed up my view." The starship sticking up out of the ground where buildings used to be was pissing her off.

"That's what's bothering you," came a welcome voice behind her.

"I thought you hated this bridge," she said with a smile. "Something about it being too high."

"I thought you said it was safe," he chuckled.

"I did say, didn't I?"

"You did," Bones sighed and leaned on the railing next to her. "That feels like forever ago."

"Two kids, walking on a bridge. You wouldn't let go of my hand."

"I knew I was trouble back then, even if I couldn't admit it to myself." He reached over and threaded his fingers through hers. For a while, she didn't know how long, they were quiet.

"I don't have to explain to you how my mind works," Jim smiled. "I think you understand it better than I do most of the time. When I went into that warp core, I knew it would kill me. I also knew that if I didn't do it, everyone would die. You would die. My brain told me that as the captain, it was my duty to protect all of you. My heart... I would die a thousand deaths for you. I would endure that excruciating pain and walk through fire and a million other horrible things for you. I'm not sorry for what I did. I am sorry that it caused you pain. I would never want…" Jim didn't realize that there were tears running down her face until his was wiping them away. "I hurt you and I… I'm sorry."

"Shhh. I'm not gonna lie and say it didn't hurt like hell. I understand it. If it had been me down there instead of you…"

"You'd still be dead because I'm not a medical genius," she pointed out. For a second he just stared at her, then he laughed. A full on, from the gut, laugh. Jim had the feeling that he hadn't really laughed since this whole thing started six weeks ago. She couldn't help but laugh with him.

There was nothing in the world like laughing with your husband for no good reason on a sunny April morning while looking over the destroyed city you call home.

* * *

"Mean to harm… mean to do us harm…" Jim said out loud to herself.

"The second one," her dad said as he stepped into her –temporary- office. "I'd go with the second one."

"This is why you should be giving this damn speech," she sighed. "I'd rather be on the ship finishing up the refit."

"Ha. Scotty's not letting you near anything and you know it," he chuckled. Scotty was pissed at her. The usually happy Scot yelled at her. Not because she punched him, but because she made him 'bloody cry, lass.' He wasn't nearly as bad as Uhura but she knew better than to mess with him.

It's been months since everything with Marcus, Harrison and Khan when down. San Fran was never going to be the same again, truthfully, neither was Jim. She let her emotions get the best of her and it nearly cost them everything. She gets why Spock and Bones were trying to warn her, even if she didn't appreciate it at the time.

"How's it being with the big guns?" Jim asked.

"A mess. You would think that six dozen augments would be the worst of it, but nope, just when we think we've figured something out, something else popped up. It's gonna take years to go through everything. Well… maybe not with the speed Dex reads. You sure you don't mind me keeping him here?"

"I mind a little but I know his family would mind more if he left for five years. As much as I love what we do, I would never ask someone to choose between the fleet and their family. We've learned that lesson a lot this year."

"Yea we did. What some unsolicited advice?"

"Please."

"Don't fear failure. It's what Charlie told me when I got my first ship. 'Don't fear failure, learn from it'."

"Okay, you know what... This just got really sappy," she chuckled. "Wanna go get a beer."

"It's one in the afternoon."

"It's five somewhere in the sector."

"Fair enough. Should we call the spouses?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Let me see that," he held out his hand and Jim gave him the PADD her speech was on as they walked out of the office. "This is pretty good."

* * *

"There will always be those who mean to do us harm. To stop them, we risk awakening the same evil within ourselves," Jim addressed the attendees at the Starfleet Memorial Wall. "Our first instinct is to seek revenge when those we love are taken from us. But that's not who we are. We are here today to rechristen the USS Enterprise, and to honor those who lost their lives, nearly one year ago. Recently, my former commanding officer had me recite the Captain's oath. Words I see as a call for us to remember who we once were, and who we must be again. And those words… Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of Starship Enterprise. Her mission; to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilization. To boldly go where no one has gone before."

* * *

"So, how's that warp core that I'm not allowed near?" Jim asked Scotty over the comm.

"Purring like a kitten. And for the record, there's an alarm if you get too close," the engineer told her.

"Aww, that's mean," she chuckled before closing the connection.

"Can't really blame him, can you?" Kevin asked with a smile as he handed her a PADD.

"Not even a little, Lieutenant," Jim smiled. "You settled in?"

"Of course, sir," the kid she thought of a little brother said. Jim chanced a glance at Chekov and caught his smile too. They're so obvious.

"Five years in space. God help me," Bones grumbled.

"We can still stay," she told him. "We got a couple minutes before we lose the option."

"I'm good," he smiled.

"You sure?" Jim asked.

"Positive, Captain," her husband said.

"Nope… still weird when you say it," she chuckled.

"That's not what you were saying when..." he started but she covered his mouth with her hand.

"Not in front of the children, dear." Jim gave him a wink before she stepped around him. "Doctor Marcus, I'm glad you could be a part of the family."

"It's nice to have a family," the other blonde smiled. "Especially one that just grew."

"I really thought that they would name that kid after me," Jim told Carol as Uhura blew her a kiss. Little Sokel, Vulcan for elegant star, is named after his mother –Nyota is Swahili for star- but looks like a tanner version of his father. He had the cutest ears ever. Their mini-Vulcan was one of a handful of kids on the ship. Maybe Jim and Bones will add to the group one day. They'll see.

She walked over to her chair. "Where should we go, Spock?"

"As a mission of this duration has never been attempted, I defer to your good judgment, Captain," he told her with a small smile before returning to his station. Jim sat in her command chair for the first time since before she died.

"Mister Sulu… Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoa. I finished it. I did leave it open for some more adventures, since I'm certainly not done with this crazy bunch.


End file.
